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  FORUM:   General Team Discussion Forum
TOPIC:   Day One Sans Sammy 


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KELLYANNALLEN
KELLYANNALLEN's Photo Posts: 68
2/11/13 2:41 A

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Thanks everyone! Its been a slow month, with the ache of missing him coming and going in waves. we miss him when things would have been, what would Sammy do... Or the first feeding of apple... Or Cheese ends (We like Brie and we always gave him the first piece). The house is quieter.... The cats are less and less looking for him..... Lio who 'played' with Sam a little (More like smacked him from behind) still every so often sits at the corner he did it from and peeks around, waiting....

There is a hole.... And its there and we know it... And as much as we would want Sam back to be there, it was the healthy Sam.... The Sam when we first adopted him.... Not the one where he was just not Sam.... Sick and frail and not quite right with the dementia too....

As hard as it still is to say it...

It was the right thing, for Sam..... To let him gently go....

We know he and the other critters we have known.... Are waiting for us....

And now, without our best hiking buddy.... We are starting the sparkpeople sight and tracking all over, because we are not the people we want to be, weight or mentally....

It will be hard to hike without him.... Lots of happy memories...


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STARLASUE
STARLASUE's Photo Posts: 1,505
2/10/13 7:36 A

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Hi Kelly

How are things for you this month. Been think of you?

Bright Blessings
Sue

My positive affirmation, said many times during the day:
I am happy, healthy, slender and prosperous.




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KELLYANNALLEN
KELLYANNALLEN's Photo Posts: 68
1/9/13 2:47 A

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Thank You everyone for all the kind thoughts and comfort....

It's now been a week since we made the decision and I miss him in all the little ways we never realize that our poodles wiggle into our lives....

I and my partner realize that we did what was best for him, not us, even though that hurt.... Hurt a lot....

I was SO glad we had Sam. My partner never had a dog before and the only one she knew was a retriever of a colleague that was a fear biter, with major bathroom and stomach problems, who would be friendly one moment and bite you or his owner or ANYTHING the next.....

Sam showed her dogs are great! (She is still more of a cat person though...) And if we would get another dog, there is no doubt that it will BE another poodle!

We have been through the first time without Sam for most of the day to day things.... We still look where he normally was, as do our two cats who have started to settle down a bit from losing their buddy too....

We are sharing the happy memories.... and we know that although we are sad.... and will miss him, it was the right thing to do....

Our next door neighbor's little pug Sissi, who has only had Sam from the day she came to them, to play with, has not yet figured out why Sam isn't allowed out to play.... She comes DAILY, almost every time she is let out on our shared lawn, to press her little nose to the door, bark and wiggle and look....

We let her in, to sniff the office and to pet her..... And play with her outside, but she's still looking...

And we've made another hard decision for the moment.... Although we would love to have another dog.... Another Poodle friend.... A successor (Never a replacement), we can't at this time.....

I'm a Chef with a split work day which begins at 9 and I work until 2-2:30, I have a break and must be back to work by 5 pm and work until 10:30 at night (That includes clean up on a SLOW day).... My partner is a teacher and leaves the house at 6-6:30 and at times isn't home until 6 pm... She is also a department head, and also in other administrative positions....

Neither of us see a fair and loving way to have a dog especially a puppy (Sam's groomers are the local Poodle club leaders and breed minis, but know all the local breeders for every size under the sun!) with that kind of schedule.... we were incredibly lucky with Sam, who adjusted quickly and well to that schedule and was a quiet dog in that situation with no barking or howling or bad behaviors.......

And with my allergies and the fact that we are Poodle people, its a Poodle or no dog at all....

It is also way too soon for us.... The heart is not yet ready.....

So we will continue to remember.... And talk about our Sam.....

And let time heal the hurt....


Edited by: KELLYANNALLEN at: 1/9/2013 (02:49)

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AQUAJANE
AQUAJANE's Photo Posts: 1,330
1/8/13 1:28 P

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So many have written, I have little more to add. Such a tough decision, but Sammy loved and was loved. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Jane.



DELAPIS
DELAPIS's Photo Posts: 1,504
1/8/13 10:23 A

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Kelly,
I am so very sorry to hear that you lost Sammy. If it hadn't been for Marry (little April's mommy) writing me on Facebook, I wouldn't have known about Ginger either. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, as well as my heart is breaking. It's very hard for me to this day, to voice the heartache and pain that we have losses.

Please try to find comfort in all the great memories. I know you miss the warmth at night, etc., and maybe in time you will be able to open your heart to another little one who would love to love you unconditionally like Sammy.

Your friend,
Dee and little Zoey (my gift from Heaven when I needed her the most)

Whenever I''m tempted to eat something I shouldn''t, I remember the following: "Don''t eat for the moment''s pleasure, for when that moment''s gone, the consequences will stay with you, from that moment on."


LADYCOCOA
LADYCOCOA's Photo Posts: 619
1/6/13 2:57 P

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My prayers are with you as well. It is so very hard to lose our babies! They love us no matter what. We need them as much as they need us.May God be with you and hold you in his gentle loving arms. Sammi and Ginger are running with my LadyCocoa in heaven. And they donjt hurt anymore. And for that I am grateful. I miss her every day and we are all blessed to have had them in our lives/
Know you are thought of and in my prayers
Love and hugs
Patsy and Chloe

If you want to succeed. Be like a duck; Above the surface, serene & calm, But below the surface,Paddle Like Crazy


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CACTUSFLOWER*
CACTUSFLOWER*'s Photo SparkPoints: (20,191)
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1/5/13 8:10 P

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Yep, I know what you mean. I am missing my little Ginger. She always slept at my side and I am not sleeping at night. I miss that little furry warm body. The whole house is empty, cold and lonely! I wander when will this emptyness I am feeling will go away.
You loved your Sam as I loved my Ginger.
I remember the happiness and joy she brought to our home and I wouldn't have missed that for the world!
I pray for myself and for you as the days go by that the tears will subside and the pain we feel wil ease.
Our babies had long good lives and they were so happy with us.
Thinking of you each day.
Hugs, Rosa emoticon

Success is a journey, not a destination.
Focus on the process.


I LOVE MY TWO GIRLS, BELLA & KATIE!
****************
I LOVE MY POODLE GIRL, GINGER!
*************

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HAVING TWO LITTLE MALTESE GIRLS!
**************************


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KELLYANNALLEN
KELLYANNALLEN's Photo Posts: 68
1/3/13 3:24 A

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Oh my...

We had Sam for 5 great years....
Last night I had no blanket anchor, no reason to sleep curled up in a ball to be stiff this morning....

No third voice to our morning breakfast choir....
No puppy to walk outside in the rain, nor help back up on the bed to have morning coffee with.....

I am missing all the small things that made up the Sammy experience.....

And the hole is a really big one...... The house is way too quiet...... no click of dog nails... no snuffles, no waggin tail.... The two cats are not the same...

And they too are looking for their buddy.... uneasy, pacing, meowing, looking where he always was....

Tears come and go, the hurt interspersed with the knowledge that we did the best we could and gave him the gift of peace and gentle rest at the end.....

But I would want back with all my heart the healthy happy smiling Sam at the moment.....

To run, and play and hike and be with......

(Thanks I need this place to vent the grief....)


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