I know the empty house sound and remember the ache looking for Cleo on her couch. There's not much busyness in gathering slipcovers and stuff for the shelter, and the time there was very bittersweet. Probably, Deb, you won't even have that with your health issues.
FYI, my greatest regret was not being able to hold Cleo at the end as I had with my first poodle, and also her too-young-to die daughter. Cleo and i had a walk in one of her favorite places, Green Springs Gardens, in the morning sun before I had to leave her for the exploratory surgery. Then that afternoon I got the call about the tumor's size and the question of did I want to euthanize. I said, try the surgery and to give her a fighting chance. I was able to visit her that evening and she woke as I held her and stroked her fur.Then I was told to leave and come back in the morning, although i wanted to bed down. I got the call that she had passed away at 9 pm. I presumed she was euthanized, although they wouldn't say, just told me to pick up the body in the morning. And, yes, I saw the excised tumor the size of a baseball when I last saw Cleo alive.
So afterward I blamed myself for lots of things, from leaving her in the surgical pain, to using insecticides in the house which could've prompted the liver tumor, to not noticing in the list of tests the vet did at her previous annual exam that liver levels weren't taken, as they had been (and found very high) the month before that fatal surgery. Blaming is part of the mourning process. And, yes, i did go back to the same vet with Tara, but he retired a few months later, and i don't like the money-oriented ways of his-successor-in-practice.
But still I cry thinking about her, even as I look over and see Tara laying in her own way on the other side of the same couch (with different slipcovers). Each just has a different spot in my heart. Usually now I remember I had four good years with Cleo, and still see her son occasionally, and I've now years with Tara, who's also her own poochette....
Thank all of you. Everyone in the poodle club is so supportive. I have gotten so much spark mail, goodies, & comments it is overwhelming. A friend of mine is going to have him cremated for me, & today another friend cut down his collar as a bracelet. & I put all of his tags (along with a charm that April gave to BooBoo) on a poodle key chain that Mary had given me a few years ago. But when I get home, the silence is defining. All I hear is the ringing in my ears, & if I'm in the living room I can hear the quartz clock tick .. tick .. tick, but I do have friends, that I see daily with whom I can talk, cry, & get it all out. Then I have all of you, the most supportive group on sparks IMHO.& speaking of support, yesterday, in the vet's office, I had two good friends with me. One drove BooBoo & I there, & when we found out for sure what would happen, the other joined us before it did. I am so blessed to have so many good friends!
Deb & Me Ling Olive Branch, Ms.
Treat stressful situations like a dog... If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away!
My heart goes out to you Debbie, as you mourn the loss of your precious prince. Your story has touched a very soft place in my heart and I wish I was closer so I could come give you the hug that you need right now.
Never second guess your decision. I made the same one three months ago. It is hard but it is the right thing to do.
I too have tears in my eyes after reading Mary's post, so I'lll be brief. So sad for Deb. Although I know BooBoo's romping along the other side of the Rainbow Bridge, and Deb loved him so much she let him die with dignity, I also know about the empty places in the heart. I have a few, the most recent being Cleo. I'm also so sorry this has happened, and know too that Deb has a sore chest too from her broken rib. So while it's physically inappropriate (and I'm afraid this post is no where near as appropriate in tone as the others here), .
And while I know you're grieving, definitely don't stay away from us, Deb!
Edited by: AQUAJANE at: 5/18/2011 (08:54)
Fitness Minutes: (16,010) Posts: 1,269 5/18/11 8:32 A
I am truly saddened to hear this news today. I can't imagine the pain and loss that you (Deb) feel today. I can't find the words to comfort you, but only to say that I am so sorry. I am glad that we did get to know BooBoo through this forum and me and Ginger will miss him. Cling to your memories Deb and know that he had a great life and you loved him and he loved you. I will be thinking and praying for you.
Hugs, Rosa & Ginger, too!
Success is a journey, not a destination. Focus on the process.
I LOVE MY TWO GIRLS, BELLA & KATIE! **************** I LOVE MY POODLE GIRL, GINGER! *************
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HAVING TWO LITTLE MALTESE GIRLS! **************************
I can hardly write through the tears. I know our precious BooBoo is young and frisky again at the Rainbow Bridge but my heart goes out to Deb who has to be in deep pain. These little guys get so deep into our hearts and fill those places that no human ever can.
I am so glad to have gotten to know BooBoo through this forum. The joy and fun of knowing him is worth the tears now. I wouldn't change a thing. Love you Prince BooBoo. RIP
Deb, my heart goes out to you. May your special angel embrace you today and for as long as you need as you mourn the loss of your beloved BooBoo. You have so many super memories of him. Allow them to fill your mind. And know that helping him leave with dignity and a quiet transition is the best last gift you could give him.
(((Mary))), my sympathies to you too as you mourn BooBoo's passing.
Blessings through the tears Sue and Maggie
Bright Blessings Sue
My positive affirmation, said many times during the day: I am happy, healthy, slender and prosperous.
Sammy and my heart goes out to Deb at Boo-Boo's passing, I wish I had gotten to know this Prince of Mississippi and His mom much better...Our thoughts, poodles hugs and kisses are with her at this most lonely and hard of times....
I'm sitting here reading about Boo Boo, with tears running down my cheeks. I am so very sad and heart broken. Poor Deb must be devastated right now. Thank God Boo Boo was still with her. I know that if this had happened after her move, she would have blamed herself for leaving him with another person. My heart goes out to her.
Thank you for sharing this, Mary, even though it's very sad news.
Love, Dee and Zoey
Whenever I''m tempted to eat something I shouldn''t, I remember the following: "Don''t eat for the moment''s pleasure, for when that moment''s gone, the consequences will stay with you, from that moment on."
Our good friend BooBoo went to the rainbow bridge today. He wasn't able to eat because of an infection in his mouth, he was blind and feeble and he had been being treated for congestive heart failure most of his life, since he was two I think.
The Vet told Deb that it would be oh so much kinder to let her baby go into that peaceful other world, rather than make him fight fight fight for every day he lived.
I got to know BooBoo so well when Deb and he lived in Birmingham, just 100 miles from me. I found out that Deb was handicapped and that it took her the better part of the day just to get groceries, so I started going down and taking her and waiting outside with BooBoo and April in the car. April and BooBoo were fast friends, and April was very quick to reach her paw out and try to pull him closer to her (HUSSY!!)
I would put both of them on my tummy with their little heads lying on my chest and they would look up at me while I sang all of April's favorite songs. BooBoo's eyes were fixed fast on me until he could stand it no more and off to sleep he would go! Both of them sleeping next to one another, best friends, their little heads touching.
I made quite a few of these trips and loved BooBoo and Deb more and more each time and I think they felt the same for me. When I would get there BooBoo would run to me and I would slip him a greenie and even as old as he was, he would show out and throw it up in the air and run after it to catch it! He still was a little frisky even then.
I know my friend is like any one of us would be, devastated and heart broken.
I will never forget you BooBoo. You were a Southern Gentleman and a sweet little boy
Mary in Alabama
If I can quit smoking, I can lose weight!
"How beautiful a day can be When kindness touches it!" - George Elliston
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