QUOTES BY JOAN RIVERS
1)I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
2)I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
3)I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'
4)People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
5)My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
6)Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
7)Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
| current weight: 180.0