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MALEXANDER4's Photo MALEXANDER4 SparkPoints: (160,226)
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5/29/12 7:12 A

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My Joan...I don't know your struggles. But know that i'm there for you to vent, when the need arises. I've been blessed at this point in my life to not have to go through the caregiver process. But my heart aches for you. I know I enjoy getting up and going with the mood strikes. Now i'm basically a homebody but I so love to head out when I choose. I think I too would feel trapped if I couldn't. Joan there is no shame in feeling tired. We all feel that from time to time and the heart knows what the heart knows. You love Bob and that has never been and issue. You had your good years now it is time for the other. The wedding vows plainly state :" in sickness and in health" I think a lot of people forget that first part. l

I enjoy eating when i'm bored or tired. I find I pick and munch my way through the pantry. working on that but not like I should.

Michelle


Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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TRACYZABELLE's Photo TRACYZABELLE SparkPoints: (138,804)
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5/29/12 3:31 A

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I find I eat mindlessly when I am bored then I am sorry especially now since the surgery.. I consciously eat my meals now and I choose my snacks wisely we just need to keep on top of it.

Eileen the easiest thing to eat when you feel like that is soup-- go for the higher protein ones so u can keep your strength up

One bite, one day, one pound at a time. Remember you are worth the effort!

Leader W8Watchers friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
individual.asp?gid=865

Tracy


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KNUCKLES145's Photo KNUCKLES145 Posts: 13,230
5/28/12 10:46 P

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stayed on plan, but didn't have a chance to exercise

All the so called "secrets of success"will not work ... unless you do.




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CINDYWAGNER1's Photo CINDYWAGNER1 SparkPoints: (145,348)
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5/28/12 10:40 P

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emoticon Joan. I hope everyone had a great day! Did you stay on plan or get off track?

I stayed on plan and I feel like I did well.

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LJKSHS's Photo LJKSHS Posts: 3,439
5/28/12 5:02 P

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Joan, your posting made me think of the times that I would sit with patients in the hospital that were dealing with Alzheimer's. This one man would say to me "Lady I can't just lay in bed all day, lets go for a walk" well, we did and about two minutes into our walk he would say "Lady I can't walk all day, lets go sit down"
I always feel for the ones that are caregivers, it can be very tiring..God Bless You All..

I sat with my sister while she was dieing..Not an easy thing to do, yet glad that I was there for her..

But, I must admit I'm one that really doesn't have to have any reason to eat...funny about that isn't it?
I like the example of the gas tank..if only we didn't overfill our stomachs...

Liz
ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 7,540
5/28/12 4:01 P

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My husband left written instructions that if the end was in sight, not to use extreme measures to keep him alive. You can't imagine how many times we had to stop the doctors from doing that. As if it wasn't hard enough to follow his instructions in the first place. We finally brought him home, kept him pain-free and comfortable in his own surroundings with his loved ones, and let nature take it's course. Tough, but I know it was the right thing.
And yes, Joan, I was able to be thankful that he was out of his pain, even though his passing brought me a new kind of pain.j
Sometimes we hope for the end to come before the caretaker develops his/her own problems. There's no shame in that.

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MISSBRANDIE1's Photo MISSBRANDIE1 SparkPoints: (3,852)
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5/28/12 3:52 P

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Joan, your posting was very touching. I was a caregiver to both of my parents and hated to see them suffer. I was discussing it with my doctor one day and he said when his parents were old and in the dying process he asked God to take them home. I did the same with my parents. I don't see it as a selfish thing. We want the best for those we love. I hope you can get out for those much needed hugs. Will say a prayer for you. Eileen

It went on slowly and will come off slowly.


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DAWNSYOGAFLOW's Photo DAWNSYOGAFLOW Posts: 1,182
5/28/12 1:56 P

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Hi Joan,
I definitely understand your feelings and don't judge you for it. I went thru the same thing with my stepfather, I kept feeling that for my mom---just go so she can be free!! After taking care of her parents for years. She was ten years younger than him. Also with my a close coworker this past year. She's been raising her parents for the last 10 years or so. But they kept zapping her mom back to life.... there comes a point, you know what I'm talking about, where we would put down a beloved pet, but we can't for a human. Very fine line that is!! God was trying to bring her home, and the docs kept dragging her back! LOL
We humans with our attachment issues.... :)
Have a grand day Joan!
Dawn


Sugarloaf 15K May 2008 DONE
Maine Coast Half Marathon November 2008 DONE
Bowdoin Duathlon May 2009 DONE
Maine Marathon September 2009 DONE
Maine Coast Half Marathon 2009 DONE
WCYMCA Tri 2011
DONE
Maine Marathon October 2011 DONE
YMCA Tri May 2012 DONE
Rotator Cuff Surgery, Down for the Count!!
Blooms to Brews Half April, 2013 Done
YMCA Tri May 2013 Done
ANG Maineiacs Half September 2013


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SEAGIRLRUN's Photo SEAGIRLRUN Posts: 811
5/28/12 10:56 A

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My problem is that I want to eat when I'm happy too! lol.

Finished the 28 day Bootcamp Workout Challenge! YAY! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=42559

Every day, you have a choice, from the moment you wake up: to make this day a good day or something else. You can choose your attitude. You can change your life! What will you choose today?

WW Lifetime member since 2000

Have a great day,
Rebecca
Artist and Do-Gooder
Never EVER give up!


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KNUCKLES145's Photo KNUCKLES145 Posts: 13,230
5/28/12 10:43 A

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thats the hard part isn't it. asking for help.

All the so called "secrets of success"will not work ... unless you do.




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KENTUCKYWOMAN's Photo KENTUCKYWOMAN Posts: 4,262
5/28/12 9:48 A

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One of the things I love about our group, and there are many, but probably the most important thing is no matter what I write, or how I say it, I have never felt that I was being judged here. No one has ever posted to me, ''well you knew he was an old crippled man when you married him." This is true, Bob was old age wise, but his voice and mind could still pass for a 40 year old. Have no clue why, but mine and Bob's marriage has worked for us. I also think that just watching this man struggle daily has made me wish that he could go to sleep and not wake up to have to struggle another day. Now does that sound bad? It reads badly when I re-read what I just wrote, but because I do love this man so much I am willing to let him go to a place I believe where he will never have anymore pain where he can run as he has not been able to do since he was 13 years old. Bob does not do well when I am not around, Kevin is just the best at being there for his Dad, but let's face it, Kevin himself is a man, and we all know that men just don't get it. The middle son Robin does thing more the way I would do them and I think that is due to Robin had children, and caring for Bob right now is a lot like caring for a child. I never had children, but have always been expected to care for someone. I know right now I have a very bad case of Cabin Fever, and I have sent Kevin an email asking him if he might take me to my WW meeting on Thursday. I need to be around my people and I need to get some hugs from them. I feel sure that if Kevin does not have some other appointment for Thursday morning he will do this for me, but for me the biggest and hardest thing to do was......JUST ASK.....

I hope all of you know how much I love and respect you. We may never meet face to face, but each and every morning its like Michelle's driver friend said, '''this is what its all about getting together."

Thanks for allowing me to stop in each day and I do hope the things I post are a help, I know your replies help me so very much.

Love to all,
Joan

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do!"


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DONNAEDA's Photo DONNAEDA SparkPoints: (101,570)
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5/28/12 9:33 A

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happy memorial day everyone.

Donna
Brown Deer, WI
leader of Weight Watchers Support team - leader
http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
individual.asp?gid=30504

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30504


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MISSBRANDIE1's Photo MISSBRANDIE1 SparkPoints: (3,852)
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5/28/12 8:10 A

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Hello everyone and happy Memorial Day. I hope everyone is doing okay. Picnics and cookouts are battle grounds for us. Good luck on your battle today.
Thots on caregiving: I did it for my job for 10 years and it can be very emotionally draining. I got care giver burn out and had to quit at one point. Just be sure to have "me time" when you get someone else to take your place and then go out and do something just for you. Not always possible I know, but you need to take care of you too. This is all easy to say I know. Been there and done that. We are here for you! Good idea to use the journal for venting too. God bless you
A beautiful day here in Maine. Hung out some laundry just a few minutes ago. Now off to do some grocery shopping. Enjoy the day! Eileen

It went on slowly and will come off slowly.


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MALEXANDER4's Photo MALEXANDER4 SparkPoints: (160,226)
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5/28/12 7:10 A

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Oh Joan...I don't know the feelings of a caregiver but I do know the feelings of eating my way through much.....why? the question of the century....I guess when we can't vent we eat. So take a moment Joan and use your private journal here on spark. No one else sees it and you can vent and just let go for a moment. I know I use mine alot. Has it helped? Sometimes. I won't lie because you all know my issues with self sabatage.

we had a cookout yesterday with some of the friends my husband works with. A driver friend's husband is dieing with cancer. Not much longer...sad...she had some trees that needed to come down...so the truck drivers got together and went to her home and they worked early morning till three cutting down the trees for them. One of the drivers said "now this is what it is all about, coming together no matter your color or who you are" It was wonderful I finally got to put a face with the handles and they finally got to meet me. But anyhow to get back to my reason for telling you all this...that woman driver has many talents...cooking is one. Needless to say I ate my fill, but when I got home I ate somemore.....junk that is. I was full but I still had a few not so good choices at home. Why? It was there. and I was settling in.

Joan i'm with you today...we can have one good day. Who knows we may do this tomorrow also.

Michelle


Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 7,540
5/28/12 6:04 A

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Oh, Joan! I've been there as a caretaker, so I hear you loud and clear. You are doing the best you can do. Even a few days a week on plan, so you are close to maintaining, will help. But the frustration, and the boredom of doing the same things over and over can take their toll. My husband kept his good nature, and I'm thinking Bob is doing that too, which is at least something to be thankful for.

Hang in there the best you can. We are all rooting for you!

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SWEETROSIE2's Photo SWEETROSIE2 SparkPoints: (12,222)
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5/28/12 5:00 A

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What a great post Joan, sometimes I think we are our own worst enemies when I am down I eat also when I am very excited about something I eat. All we can do is take one day at a time baby steps. Have a great day everyone.

"You are far to smart to be the only thing standing in your way"

Rosie Perth Australia (living in Saudi Arabia)


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KENTUCKYWOMAN's Photo KENTUCKYWOMAN Posts: 4,262
5/28/12 4:23 A

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Elieen so sorry to hear that you had broken some ribs. But Blanche made an observation that is so true. When we don't feel good ''WE WANT TO EAT!!" I have always been that way, even a stomach ache, give me something to eat that should make me feel better.

Really when you think about it all food does is fuel our bodies to keep us going. Just like gas in our car tanks keep the car moving. But would we ever over fill that gas tank like we do our belly tanks? Not at the price gas is now a day. But food is expensive as well. I know being back home and dealing with Bob day in and day out is not a healthy thing for me. Again, I love the man with all heart and soul, but anyone that has ever been a caregiver knows that no matter how much you love this person it can get old. So what do I do??? I try and make things better by eating more. I had lost 15 pounds while in rehab, and went to my sister's still doing great with being on plan, and on point, but a day after I got back home to resume taking care of Bob, BAM, it happened, I am back to my old tricks. Eating between meals, and just not caring. And you know what....the extra food and extra pounds have not made any of this any better. So Eileen or anyone else dealing with some setbacks, as Nell has said before, ''today, I will be on plan."

Hugs to all,
Joan

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do!"


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