I've been trying to listen to only Christian music and have been reading the Bible plan on God's promises. And I've been reading the Shack which is about a man having a personal confrontation with God after losing his daughter. It has some really interesting points, But I don't seem to find comfort in much of it or anything for that matter. It just makes me more mad, sad, confused. I just can't seem to reconcile the fact of a "loving" God who already "foreknew" the outcome letting me go through it. Makes me picture God with a huge magnifying glass and me as an ant and him laughing as I sizzle from the sun concentrating its heat on me. And not just me, but others too. Nothing I have read has made me feel different and I don't know how or I would.
I think part of it may be going off my antidepressants because I thought I was doing so much better. And part of it might just be another cycle of grief. I don't know. Whatever it is it just sucks.
'My outward circumstances may not change in a day because I did not get here in a day. But with God's help, I will be at least one step from here tomorrow.' Wayne Francis
| Pounds lost: 0.0