Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with us. It brings me great pleasure to help you in amy way that I can. I share your grief, and i believe I know a portion of your pain.
I wish that I could give my father in law just one more hug. I am comforted knowing and remembering I said . " I love you" & gave him a nice long hug before leaving to travel home last Christmas. I have thought about that day many times this year. He was standing on his porch waving good bye to us as he always did as we drove away. I still remember the feeling I had. I was grateful to spend time with him that year sharing our Christmas with him and the rest of the family. I was blessed to have a father in law who showed and gave me love in such a dear and kind way.
I believe it is common to feel perhaps more pain as the years go by. I mean as you can't see them and years pass doesn't it make sense to miss that person more? I pray that you use your pain to tighten the grasp with Jesus knowing that your pain can be used to help you gain a closer relationship with God. The devil at times uses pain and suffering to drew us away from God whispering in our ears, "If God REALLY loved you He would have healed that person, or prolonged their death." Kick that rat to the curb and use your suffering to glorify God. Go to Jesus in prayer and ask Him how you can bring glory to His name from your tears.
God, I ask you to help us find a say to bring glory to you from our pain and tears. In Jesus name I pray amen.
The best way I know how to share glory of God is by telling others how God has helped me. I share your pain from your tears. I want to share with you also that God has given me much peace and joy after Carl died this past January. I thank God for helping my family have joy this year around Christmas. As we focus more on Jesus and make Him bigger than our pain much comfort and pace is found.
Dear God so many hearts are suffering through Christmas from the pain of a lost love. We know that the person we love is with you, and what a glorious place to be. Although knowing this comforts us, there are times that our hearts still feel that pain which is caused by wanting to see that person again, wanting to give them just one more hug, sharing one more laugh together, & one more evening. God it brings comfort to my heart knowing that you know just how I feel. It says in the bible that you have felt every emotion I have felt while you lived here on earth. God I ask you to comfort my family and my spark family here on this team. I extend this prayer for all people in this world suffering. God may you grant us your peace each and every time she shed a tear, any emotion which tugs at our heart, may you replace it with your grace dear God. I ask that you make a way for this death ti bring everyone closer to you you God as they are in pain. May they feel your arms around them as you bring them comfort and peace. Thank you God for answering my prayer. I know your Spirit will come to all those reading this prayer, and even those who don't know you yet . In Jesus name I pray amen
Fitness Minutes: (906) Posts: 8,107 12/20/11 1:41 A
I called Mom around 11 tonight and shared the post with her. I had a hard time to read some parts without crying myself. She really appreciated it and said it was very good. Thank you so much for the post and the visit!! Bless eveyone needing this; may Holy Spirit comfort you this Christmas and all year through.
Pounds lost: 7.2
Fitness Minutes: (41,540) Posts: 5,622 12/19/11 8:47 P
My husband and I lost his father in January of this year. I was sent something from a member of my church about coping with grief in a Christmas card. God has been helping us all year long. My husband are doing very well without his Dad this Christmas too. I thank God for comforting our hearts. We miss his Dad, but God continues to give us His grace.
I have not yet written a post sharing the tips from the thin booklet, and I am sorry that I have not yet. I thought about doing so two days ago, and I admit I have put my needs before yours, which I try hard to do many things for you before myself through serving God. As I read the I need pray thread today, I realized I needed to post information about dealing with grief. I still need to post from that booklet, but my knees hurt so I need to get off the computer. Before I do so though I will post these 6 tips for you here from this link: usdailyreview.com/blue-christmas-6-t ip s-for-coping-with-grief-during-the-hR>olidays
The rest of the world seems overjoyed with holiday spirit and yet you just want to get in bed and pull the covers over your head. You’re grieving. Perhaps your loss was quite recent or maybe it occurred years ago. All you know is that you dread this time of year and cannot wait for it to be over.
While the holidays are definitely a challenge for grievers, using these 6 strategies will help you feel a little less blue.
Talk about your Loved One – Don’t be afraid to mention your loved one when you’re at a party or with friends and family. Often people are reluctant to mention the deceased because they are afraid to ‘upset’ you. They don’t realize that your loved one is always on your mind and that it’s healthy to reminisce. Be the one to share memories and to encourage conversation.
Express your Feelings – Holding in pent up emotion is not healthy. If you want to cry, let yourself cry. If you need to express anger, write in a journal. Try creative arts to express the many feelings you’re experiencing. Use on-line sites to connect with other grievers and talk about your feelings. Letting yourself feel the pain and then finding expression for that pain is an important aspect to healing.
Light a Candle – Light a memorial candle at the holiday dinner table to honor the light of your loved one. Remember that although their physical form has gone, they are very much still a part of your life. Hold that love close to your heart and remember that your life has been enriched by their love.
Shop and Share – A frequent sadness for grievers is not being able to shop for their loved one. Try going shopping for things that you might have purchased for your dear one and then donating those items to a homeless shelter, a hospital, or a charity.
Cut Yourself Slack – Be extremely gentle and kind to yourself. If you don’t feel like going to a party, don’t go. If you don’t want to send cards, then don’t send them. Do the absolute minimum necessary for you to celebrate the holidays. Grieving is exhausting and you simply won’t have extra energy to expend. When possible, ask friends and neighbors to help you with tasks that feel overwhelming. Try to do your shopping on-line. Set your bar low and give yourself permission to take it easy.
Simple Pleasures – Even if your heart is broken, you can look for simple pleasures to savor. See if you can find one tiny thing each day for which you can be grateful. Notice your health, your loved ones who are still living, even small sensory pleasures like tastes, smells, and sounds. Try shining the focus of your attention on small things in your life that bring you some happiness.
Using these tips will help ease you through the holidays. Remember that grieving is one of the most universal of all experiences – you are not alone.
Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW is a psychotherapist and author of Transcending Loss as well as Shortcuts to Inner Peace. For on-line grief support, check out www.facebook.com/transcendingloss. For additional resources, visit www.ashleydavisbush.com.
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