Glitter this is a great post and one I read thru a couple times. The Lord is speaking to me thru it.
Lately the verse from romans has been rolling around in me. Where Paul says...The good that I want to do this I do not and the evil I do not wish to do this I keep on doing.
Always the struggle...
and I think of the verse where the Lord says to enter his rest! I'm like ooooooh that sounds heavenly...but How Lord.
I feel exhausted, and unfruitful. I know what you mean about being in honoured in Heaven. I'm not looking for honour, but when I get there...I dont' want to come empty handed so to speak. All I mean by that statement...Is I love Jesus and I know he has plans for my life and good works prepared for me to do since long before I came into being. I don't want to not do them. I don't want to be barren and dissapoint Jesus. Can you imagine when you see Him in his glory to realize you did not do what you were supposed to do, you did not take advantage of the opportunities he gave you. He doesn;'t need me for anything, but I don't want to miss what he intended for me. Know what I mean.
Lately Its like being a baby christian again, with a newly awakened consciousness and sin tears away at my peace even though I know its about grace and mercy of our Lord.
I was told its God who changes you from the inside out. I've cried out Lord whatever it takes I want to be your girl. Change me...yet...I'm still the same. I've tried to change myself...and that really didn't work. The more I concentrated on doing this, don't do that...was disastrous becaue I became sin focused rather than focused on Christ.
I do not believe the Lord wants us loving Him and at the same time feeling like we just do not measure up. I think His intent is that we feel loved, accepted and secure. So something is scewed I'm missing something at this time. At one time I was just so excited I was loved and accepted but somewhere along the way, I started to think and feel God must be dissapointed in me. I know the Bible says the exact opposite...but well thats whats going on inside me. The enemy i'm afraid is having a field day and I'm trying to resist those thoughts and replace them with Gods Truth...but its hard.
Anyway I'm really rambling on ...just wanted to say I appreciated your post. Heather
This morning I was on my couch, lieing down looking through my bay window. I saw some nats next to it. (our window) They kept banging their bodies against our window trying to get in our house. It probably doesn't make sense to them, why they can't get to where they could clearly see. They can see into our house, but can't get in, and don't know why. So, they just kept banging their bodies senselessly against our window.
There are a lot of people that try so hard to lose weight, to save money, to not sin, and so many other countless things. We are all different, & we try to do our best. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try we keep failing. I remember as I was growing up adolescence through 21,22 years old. I kept doing the same sin. I knew better, just kept right on doing it. As I grew closer to God I over came the sin, & it was no longer a temptation. ( I am not saying that I don't ever sin though) Every believer goes through this. It is a process of our walk with God. Strangely enough, the closer we get to God, & become a better person, an invisible wall appears sometimes. God has strengthened us through his word, worship, and prayer. We see God's glory, but can not obtain it, and don't know why.
Just as those nats kept banging their heads against our window, and just like mouths repeatedly banging their bodies again light fixtures, trying to get closer to the light source, we are banging up against our flesh. We keep trying to become a better person, but we keep giving into WANT WE WANT. You see, our flesh is that invisible wall. We are not making progress. Like reaching a dead end, but this dead end has no detour, because you don't know where to go. But in order to get to a new destination, you need to go in a different direction. Each path is different for each person. But everyone needs the same thing to get there...God. And once we travel along our path, the destination will be the same, God's best life on earth & in His kingdom.
You see I don't want to just go to heave, I want to be part of heaven!! Do you know what I mean? I want the best life here on earth, then when I die, I want to be honored. That may sound weird, or not right to some of you and I understand why. I do all things only to honor God. Everything I do I give the credit to God. Plain and simple. I am not trying to get points, my intentions are pure, out my love and for God. Please do not mistake what I am saying.
To get this life, THE LIFE, which is promised to us in the bible we must first do certain things. This includes, but not limited to, surrendering to God for the rest of your life, following his commandments, doing & accepting his will. As we try doing these things all the days of our life, we must remember that invisible wall, our flesh. (our desire to do the things of the world) It is not a quick & easy walk, this destination to THE LIFE. There will be storms, set backs, success and defeat. But God is like the green signs you see while you are traveling on the high way. God will direct your path. He is the yellow caution signs, warning you to be careful, during times of temptation, to help you not to sin. He will put people in your life, which will help you find your way through your times of confession. And through the good times and the bad, we will arrive to our final destination, THE LIFE.
One thing that is clearly important & greatly needed is asking for God's help. You will never have THE LIFE that is promised to us without going to God FOR EVERYTHING. God will open a window to a new way of living.
This LiFE I am talking to you about is not a perfect life. There will still be heartake, disease, pain, and suffering. But, you see, it will all be different, because YOU WILL BE DIFFERENT. You will no longer be defeated by life and the pain that goes along with it. You see, now when diSease, & suffering come into your life things will be different. You will act and feel different. You know that all you have to do is pray and God will help you through it. He will give you the peace you never had before, he will give you the strength you never knew existed, and he will give you give you the ability to go get through it. ONLY if you ask God for his help. Otherwise you will be like those nats, banging their bodies again the window. You will continue to go through the trails and tribulations of life, without god's peace, & You won't know why. You will know that the peace, strength,and ability is available, but no victory in your life will be seen. THROUGH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. No one goes to the son of God without first going through God the father. BEHOLD A NEW DAY WILL BE MADE FOR YOU!
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