Thank you so much for your honestly, you are truly a good man.
Dear God as I respond to this nice man let me hear what you hear, let me see as you see, let me do as you do, & let my words be your words, amen.
I feel that something happened in your past. You might not even know what it is. I feel you are confused why certain things have happened. Your heart has been hardened through you do not know why these things or thing happened. It has caused you to rebel against God.
You keep hearing or reading things that tell you to change. The only reason this is happening is because God is calling you back. I don't care how ridiculous this sounds to you. I said that prayer above and know God is typing these words threw me to YOU. On an on going basis I pray to God to lead people to this team that needs to get closer to you, to lead people to this team that I can help. There is NO MISTAKE why you are on this team, there is no mistake WHY YOU READ MY QUOTE.
You said that you were told to go to church, pray, praise God read the bible. That you feel like if you do these things when you don't want to you would feel like a hypocrite. Do you feel like going to work every day? Do you feel like taking out the trash all the time? How about eating right and exercising? Do you think God disproves of you doing THOSE things? Going to work, keeping your job, supporting your family, even when & if you don't like your job? He honors you because you do things that are hard to do, and things that you don't want to do.
Let me tell you something that I am not proud of, sometimes I struggle to go to church every Sunday. There have been times I have not gone at all, for like half a year. Why, it is all about my flesh. It is all about ME and what I WANT TO DO. I want to stay up late with my husband, we are having fun, why should I go to bed instead, just so I can up for church? I used to hate reading the bible, it bored me!!! I wanted to strengthen my relationship with Christ, so I prayed to God that he would help me find a bible I could read and understand. He did too, now I read everyday, sometimes for hours. I read with enthusiasm. I didn't want to read before, but I did, hoever, it was far and few times, like years. The times I read the bible meant more to him than all the people who were reading it because they liked doing it, and it was harder for meto do. Does this make any sense to you? I am speaking from my heart, I am being very honest with you. The devil is keeping you away from God, not your lack of wanting to do all those things, pray, go to church,etc. He is using YOUR FEELING to justifiy your ACTIONS. yOUR HEART IS WILLING, BUT YOUR FLESH IS WEAK, Jesus said. Weakness is strengthened through habit. You become stronger by doing the right things. This my friend this is no different.
There have been times when I have been hurt so badly, so many different ways through my life. I don't want to admit this, but I am being real with you. A few times there have been anger in my heart. I was upset, I prayed and prayed, my payers were not being answered, instead ignored I felt. My husband had said," pray." I told him. "I don't want to, I have been praying. Things are getting worse, not better!" My husband would pray, I would close my eyes, my heart was hardened. Before I had opened my eyes the Holy Spirit had entered my heart., In place of the bitterness's was peace. People say praise God during times of troubles and pain because we can grow closer to God during these times if we let him in, and pray for his help. I encourage you to read my story. I almost went blind when I was 27 years old. You need to click read more to see it all. It is in my spark page.
Every person on this earth who loves God and yearns to grow closer to him, have a relationship with God, to be a better person , we all sometimes don't FEEL like doing things, like going to church, reading the bible, praise his name, or pray at times. For some people it may be one of those things everyday, for others it may be two of those things every six months, and then others who only feel that way once a year about one of them. We do them anyway knowing that we live not by our flesh, we live by doing God's will. We live our lives not being CONTROLLED by our feelings, thoughts, and desires, but what we know what is right to do. And to be down right honest with you, some of the best people on this earth know that they must read the bible, go to church, pray, praise his name, but simply don't. This person may not go to church once during that year, or another person may not pray for a month, the other person may not have read the bible ever. We are human, we sin, we are sometimes weak. Those people return doing what is right THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD.
I can feel your heart. You probably don't believe me, but God has allowed me to through my prayer. God is trying to help you, will you listen? God is calling your name, turn around. God is hugging you, will you hug him back?
Please contact me either through e-mail, or my spark page. I will read your words without blame, I will offer whatever you may need without judging, I care about you, knowing all that you shared. Shelly
I will pray about your cat scan, your teeth, and your walk with God.
Edited by: GLITTERGIRL69 at: 6/9/2009 (14:18)