If I may add my 2 cents worth....
May I suggest you make your own meals and take with you when you go to here place for dinner. Explain to your daughter that diabetes is a life threatening condition but it is controllable! and you need that control to ensure a long healthy life. Tell her that if she cannot help you in that quest by letting you know what is in the food you eat, you will need to supply your own meals. If she gets upset, tell her it is YOUR LIFE and you are in control of it -- with or without her help.
I have heard of other people who have done this -- taken thier own meals when they go out -- and sometimes it gets the message across, other times not so much.
The other option would be to tell her that you are happy to visit but you will not eat at her place and give her the same reasons as above, that you need to control your food intake.
Whatever you choose to do, good luck.... Keep us posted.