Do you care too much about what other people think? Are you done with trying to prove yourself in relationships? I hope so. Because it's not doing you (or your relationships) any good.
In this article, I'm going to talk about why we feel the need to prove ourselves to other people, and how to kick this pattern to the curb.
To put it simply, we try to prove ourselves to others when we don't feel good enough as we are. Trying to prove yourself is like saying, "If you like me, then I'll like me." This never goes well.
Of course we care about what other people think — we want to be liked, and that's normal! But the irony is this: People who aren't overly focused on what other people think tend to be very likable! Let me show you what I'm talking about:
Think about a person you admire; someone who is confident, kind, strong, and not consumed with outside opinions. Now ask yourself: Do I find this person attractive in some way?
I imagine you do. Because people who aren't consumed with what others think are highly attractive to us.
Self-confidence is a natural result of being you, regardless of outside opinions. This type of confidence exudes strength. And you can have it, too.
Here are five simple ways to focus on yourself in a positive way, letting go of what other people think and making yourself highly attractive as a result:
1. Make a list of what you appreciate about yourself.
You're a great person. You have unique qualities that are all your own. There isn't anyone on the planet who is exactly like you. Let's celebrate that!
Ask yourself: Who am I? What's great about me? How am I unique? Write your answers down on paper.
Then, appreciate yourself! The more you do this, the better you'll feel.
2. Make a list of who you want to become.
We are all simultaneously being and becoming. So … who are you evolving into?
Ask yourself: Who do I want to become? and write your goals down on paper.
As you think about your desires and hopes for the future, you're honoring your dreams. This makes you excited for what's to come, and strengthens your belief in yourself.
3. Spend quality time with yourself (at least 30 minutes daily).
Quality time is important in all relationships — including the relationship you have with yourself.
There are many things you can do during quality time with you — reading, running, hiking, meditating, listening to music, thinking, journaling, making art, cooking — the possibilities are endless.
Just do something that you like to do and enjoy your own company! Really, it's as simple as that.
4. Get to know your fears.
Nothing boosts confidence quite like making it through challenges. By facing your fears, you get to prove what you're made of.
Ask yourself: What am I scared of? and then … challenge it.
Look your fears in the eye and show 'em who's boss. It's the only way you're going to move past them into a better way of life.
5. Do something nice for yourself today.
This is your life. It's going to be as good as you make it. Take charge of your well-being by doing nice things for yourself every single day.
A "nice thing" could be anything that makes you happy — write yourself a love note, take a walk in a park, pat yourself on the back, smile at yourself in the mirror. Treat yourself with supreme kindness and respect. Your inner confidence will soar as a result.
The more you love and accept yourself, the less you'll focus on what other people think. And, ironically, the less you focus on what other people think, the more attractive you become.
Practice these techniques; get to know who you really are. Your confidence will skyrocket as a result, and your relationships will flourish, too.
"If it is to be, it is up to me." - Author Unknown
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