I need to stop nibbling while I cook I need to feel better about the changes in my life....
I need to find people who understand when I say I can't eat healthier, I can't exercise any more... and yet I have gained weight.... I could scream when people say it's not the end of the world.....just try harder....
2014 Ruby-lite of the YEAR In GOD WE TRUST... MOTIVATION REALLY IS--- TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONSCIOUS ACTION FOOD NEVER SOLVES ANY ISSUE EXCEPT HUNGER.
I completely agree! I have gave up on tracking as I consider them tools to get back on track with measuring if I really, really need to. I know when I have ate poorly and I have ate well. It is very hard to integrate and it's so nice to still have the Sparkpeople community.
Not worth having is easy!
current weight: 206.0
Fitness Minutes: (33,647) Posts: 2,390 10/18/12 5:21 P
John - sorry about your grumpiness babe! I hear you though. The grumpies get me all too often these days. You will have a better run tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, the next day.
And as for manipulating the system - yep - been there too. And I know all too well how much it doesn't work any more. My body is used to things, the only thing that I think is going to help is jolting it back into submission (taking a break from all food tracking and eating everything I wanted during marathon training when I could) and now I've cut calories severely again. So far so good, but it's Day 4. My issue is the same as Pookie's - hanging on through the weekends and doing this all over again next week, and then the week after and the week after. Because ultimately, I know that WILL work, but I don't have the same patience that I had at the beginning. Again - I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having to count and plan and track and I'm sick of not being "normal". And because I have done this to my body, I now have to live with this burden for the rest of my life. And that sucks. I will NEVER be able to eat what my skinny friends can, because I have damaged my metabolism enough that I will ALWAYS have to eat less. Boo.
So I want to gripe with other people who get how much it sucks to be in this long term, but who can still turn around and celebrate with me about the good stuff and the achievements that do and don't involve weight loss.
It's hard melding back into regular society. When you start Spark, you find THIS community, and in a way, they substitute for the real world of your family and friends and co-workers, etc. But eventually, you need to meld the two and go back to normal" without going back to your old ways. Integration is a HARD business. Because while WE have learned what it takes to lose weight and keep it off, no one else around us has. So they think "hey great, you've been on a diet and you lost all this weight, so now you can come out with us and drink beer and eat fries again, right?" Um, not right.
So my challenge is with basically EVERYTHING right now. Learning how to be me and get what I need while not being like "this" forever.
"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not" ~Anonymous
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." ~George Elliot
I really do try to keep my "public" face positive and upbeat. One, because it keeps me from wallowing. Two, because I know that so many other people have it worse than I do and ultimately my stuff is all first world problems.
But I'm human. And today, I'm grumpy because my run felt terrible. I know it's a one-off thing and not a big deal, but running is supposed to make me feel better, not worse.
I am really surprised to be reading this from you. From your facebook post, you always keeps so energized about working out and never seem 'off' about it all. I am really sorry to hear that you are tired. It sounds like you are really burnt out which is understandable.
As for being tired of tracking everything, I can relate. I do not count calories I am eating or expending. It used to be fun but now I know how to manipulate the system which makes it not so much fun anymore.
Joining a running club may be just what you need. I lead a running group and most members like not having to think about where to run and the social aspect about it. If you do decide to check one out and do not like it. Do try a different one. Every running group is different. I'd suggest joining my running group but it's a bit out of the way for you!
Oh another thought... have you checked out triatholons? Alot of runners seem to be getting into them. They won't be for me until I learn how to ride a bike, unfortunately.
For me, I think I need this team. It really helps that others are in my boat with me. And, no one is like, "Oh, you will do it. Don't worry about." No, I need/want people that can relate to how I am feeling. It starts to feel I am all alone in this struggle to lose the weight again. But, this time it is harder because my body has already adapted to all the different exercises I have tried in the last three years. Sure, I want to try new things like kettlebells but I just don't have the time or money. I am a full time college student that is in my final semester.
I think as we have established the shiny unicorns and magic fairies has been replaced with shedding cats and laundry lists.
So what do you think you need to help?
I honestly don't know what I need to help me.
I have massive reasons to motivate me, yet I still fudge up at weekends!
I do know I want some friends who are not fair-weather friends, I want to be able to complain and then find the small bright side and appreciate it for what it is when its this hard... a win is a win no matter if its refusing a slice of cake rather than losing 5 lbs a week.
I also want to help people feeling the same as me, I feel a sympathetic ear (well, eye I guess) is something I can certainly give and hopefully get.
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