I think that this issue is a lot more common than most people think. I know I can take it or leave it. And it has caused some minor problems in my marriage over the years. We have two kids, and during both pregnancies, my desire crashed hard. I don't think I have ever gotten it back either. But we are working together to make things better.
I think the most important thing is just to talk about it together. I have also started the "Fake it til you Make it" mantra. Even if I'm not completely into it, I want to do what I can to make him happy, and most of that time, that works.
Pounds lost: 4.0
Fitness Minutes: (740) Posts: 96 1/4/13 11:55 A
I have the same problem, most days I can take it or leave it when it comes to sex. It has caused issues in the past but, after 10 years of marriage, my husband and I have had many frank, open talks about it, and that has helped.
I still rarely initiate, but I make a point of complimenting my husband often and showing affection in the day to day. It's not the same, of course, but it goes a long way to show my husband that my libido is not a reflection of my feelings for him.
On the weekends I make a point to dress up a little (a nice bra/panty set, a little lipstick, nothing fancy). When I feel better about myself, I'm more likely to make moves to initiate, or at least send the signal that I'm interested!
Yes it does make sense because most of the time the problem is that I do not want to make the advances myself. When my bf does make the advances I actually do join. He does feel that it is always him that start however.
As far as my weight is concerned - when I was thinner I did have a more active sexual life. So maybe I have to wait and see
Fitness Minutes: (8,271) Posts: 113 1/4/13 1:50 A
I'm not medical in any way but I heard a doc talk on the radio about this problem last year and found it very interesting. The Doc said that if you are not feeling it ... Go along with it thinking to yourself that you are doing something nice for your partner.... And before you know it you will be enjoying yourself and feeling good. It is only the initial bit of getting started that puts people off.
I thought it was odd at first but then it kinda made sense. Again I am not medical !!!
Welcome! Glad you have made the decision to engage in a changing lifestyle that is a healthier you! I noticed on your page that you had lost weight here before - did that help? If not, perhaps you need to speak with your dr. about a hormone check up?
Emotionally I am quite frustrated - I have very low libido for some reason and it is frustrating my bf and also myself. I am only 24 and I am getting married soon and it is looking as a problem. When I am with him I do not feel into it. He is a great partner and it isn't that I am not attracted to him. I just do not feel up to it. Any help? I do not know if it is in my mind due to the fact that I am not comfortable with my body
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