I haven't been very active in this team... or on SparkPeople at all, lately... but I wanted to share this with people who know where I'm coming from.
Last week my heart skipped a beat as I saw the numbers on the scale read 149.5. The 140's... I never thought I'd see them. Then again, I felt that way about the 150s... and the 160s before that, for that matter. Then I remembered... If I get below 149, that means my BMI will fall into the "healthy" range. I blew it off. I told myself I'd regain back into the 150's soon and bounce around that weight for a few weeks more...
Well, today I stepped on the scale after eating breakfast and after a night of eating what felt like far too much sugar for one day... and there it was. 148.5. Bam. Just like that. I stepped off, let the scale go blank, bashed it vigorously with my heel to get the finicky thing to turn on again, stepped on... 148.5. And so it is. The thought sank in and I turned to look at myself in the mirror... and then I burst into tears.
Obese had been a part of my identity. I weighed 180 by the time I was 10 years old, and topped off at 220 when I finished high school. Slowly, leaving home had caused some of the pounds to fall away. I bounced between 180 and 200 for awhile, and then something changed. Over the past two and a half years, I've undergone a radical physical and psychological transformation. The healthy habits I learned here on SP kicked into full swing. I had a new found love for exercise and eating healthy. My weight began to hover between 160 and 170. I was officially just "Overweight" and no longer "Obese" based on my BMI. I was feeling pretty good.
Then one day, due to some completely un-weight-related distress, I solicited the help of my mother-in-law. She is a fantastic doctor specializing in endocrinology. She asked me a few questions and came to a quick conclusion... my estrogen levels were too high. She prescribed me a cream-based natural progesterone and instructed me on how to use it along with my menstrual cycle. After that, it was like I came alive. I had more energy and will to exercise, and even began to get antsy and anxious without it. My sugar cravings were almost non-existent and my low metabolism boosted up to normal. Best of all, I quickly dropped 25 pounds.
And now this. Now, I'm a normal weight. I still have some distance to go. I still have a few extra pounds I would like to drop, and some excess skin I need to make plans for... But the important thing to me is that I'm here now, and my goal weight is a mere 13.5 pounds away. That's a big difference from the seemingly unmanageable 85.
Anyway, I'm sorry to give my life story... But the point I'm trying to make is that it is possible. You can do this. It may take you several years just as it did for me, but you can do this. Just don't ever give up on yourself. You're worth so much more than that~
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