I totally get the carbs issue. I love my starchy carbs. Unless it is directly detrimental to my health (like an allergy or intolerance), I cannot cut something completely out of my diet. This is something I've learned about myself: I resent "diets" and feeling deprived. If I want a roll at dinner, I feel like I should be able to have one. If I do try to restrict myself, I find that all I need is a "bad day" or a "bad weigh-in" and I say, "forget it, doesn't matter anyway" and eat a pint of ice cream. Not good. So I'm all about moderation. It makes the weight loss process slower, but it's something I know I can sustain.
Pounds lost: 46.8
Fitness Minutes: (16,765) Posts: 860 8/16/11 10:37 A
LOL! Perfect and so simple. Don't know why I didn't start doing that! Well I'm employing it from now on! BTW, we have so much in common as to why we are keeping the weight in check. Also have a family history of obesity problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. so far I haven't had a problem with any of them, but I also don't want to either. Being healthy, with food & exercise is the best way. I do suffer from PCOS which has caused issues with my weight mostly from the carbs area. I refuse to be the person who says all carbs are bad and cuts them out though. I love my grains too much, however I do try to limit them and eat more lean proteins because of it.
You're so right! When acquaintances find out I'm trying to lose weight, I get the "oh, you don't need to lose weight, you look great!" I know I carry my weight "well", so my appearance can be deceptive. When I tell people what I weigh, they never believe me. So no support there. Honestly, how I've dealt with it is to stop telling people I'm trying to lose weight. I don't want to get into a mini-argument with them about whether or not I need to lose weight, and don't feel the need to explain to them that I'm 30 lbs. over the upper limit of "healthy" for my height & frame, or that my triglycerides and cholesterol are really high and need to be brought down. Or that obesity runs in my family, and whether it's genetic or environmental, I need to battle that. That my family has a history of high cholesterol, high blood pressure, type II diabetes, and joint problems, all related to obesity, and I don't want to follow that. I've decided that none of that is their business, and people tend to pay less attention to what you do or don't eat if they don't know you're watching your weight. And in all honesty (ha ha), sometimes I lie. If I'm out to eat and I order something smaller than everyone else and someone draws attention to it, I just say I'm really not hungry, my stomach has been a little questionable today, I had a late lunch, etc. Again, less discussion than if I say "well, I'm trying to watch my weight, so I'm choosing the grilled chicken salad with dressing on the side instead of the bacon cheeseburger."
Pounds lost: 46.8
Fitness Minutes: (16,765) Posts: 860 8/16/11 10:10 A
A bit of a broken record, I'll sound like so many of you. Supportive husband, mostly supportive family, some struggles at work (or general public). But I'll expand on this by adding that I found my support to be overwhelming when I tipped the scale over 200 lbs., but as I lost weight and came closer and closer to my goal. People's attitudes changed. Still with a smile on their face their comments went from "Way to go! Keep at it and you'll get there." to "Wow! I can't believe how much you've lost already. What is your secret?" finally to "Oh, you're so thin. You can't possibly be still wanting to loose weight. Here have a cookie." Mind you that was when I still had 150 lbs on my 5'2" frame and still considered overweight. I'll admit I got the occasionally hushed whisper "You are eating right?" To which I always tried to loudly reply back, of course, I am trying to be healthy! not starve myself. Anyway, the closer I got to my goal the harder it was. Not just because you've built up quite the endurance, but more so because of the support system. I battled the negativity for quite a while, but in the end I caved into what seemed to make people happy. Seeing me eat that cupcake, or have that second helping.
Today, I reflect on this because I want to learn from it. I'm going back to my goals and I won't let this be my down fall again. My DH and boys were never and issue, they were always supportive and very happy to be more active with me. My parents, in-laws, and siblings, I'm quite comfortable getting in depth with their comments and telling them how it makes me feel. The problem I have is everyone else. What does everyone else do in those situations?
I have excellent support from everywhere I look - for probably the first time in my life. As a teen, my "support" came from coaches who encouraged me to keep losing weight to the point of starving myself, and my family who was all overweight and didn't understand my need to be different. Now, though, I have a husband who's lost almost as much weight as I have (though, as supportive as he is, he and I are on different emotional/mental wavelengths in our journeys... most of the time that's OK though), and the best work environment I could possible be in right now.
The problem for me comes at work, though, because of a couple specific people who will talk with me all day about my issues with food (if you've read my blog you know what I mean, I won't go into detail here because it's off-topic) but then bring donuts in with a whole box of my favorite kind with my name on them. They'll say "I want a cupcake but I don't want to eat one in front of Debbie" then go ahead and bring a dozen back on their lunch break. I don't always deal with this the best - sometimes I give in, other times I take my own lunch right then or eat the grapes or yogurt I brought for myself.
The one thing I keep telling myself, though, is that a little bit won't hurt. Yes, it's that thinking that can lead to too many calories, but also it's that thinking that has kept me sane these last 6 months. If I want a cupcake, I'll have a cupcake. Then I'll track it and make sure the rest of my day is OK around it. I'll check before I have it to see if I can "afford" it or not. And I have a couple of SUPER-supportive coworkers who are fully aware of my food/weight loss/health issues and will step in if necessary. One even took my money and said "You get one cupcake, make it a good one," then make the other coworker take the leftovers elsewhere. Now THAT's support. :)
I guess I'm lucky right now. In the past, I dealt badly with the difficult environments and always ended up giving up. I feel for everyone who doesn't have as great of support as I do right now. All I can say is, remember that at the end of the day, it's YOUR actions and YOUR body. The rest of them be d*mned.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. -- G.K. Chesterton
You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream. -- C.S. Lewis
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. -- Ghandi
The support at home is awesome, except for our every-other Sunday evening run out for ice cream (date night on the non-kid weekends). He has largely stopped complaining about the fact that all non-kid dinners are meatless and has even grudgingly accepted kale in dishes. As far as supporting my working out goes, he's a cyclist so he's not about to complain about me going out for a run - he'll hop on his bike and go for a long ride. We do a lot of active things together as well. (His ex was not active and totally unsupportive of his cycling)
I work with a primarily sedentary group. They think what I do is cool and always ask about my latest run or what we did over the weekend, but I can tell they think I'm slightly crazy. I can usually control my sweet tooth and no one really pushes (primarily because at any time half the staff is on a diet). I would call them not necessarily supportive, more entertained, but none of them are sabotaging me, either intentionally or unintentionally.
When I'm with my family, though, (parents and siblings) it's a different story. Mom always does the whole - "you look thin, are you eating enough? You should take it easy more and not push yourself so hard." My brother is naturally thin, but the rest of my family struggles quite a bit and generally does not make great choices. Now that I live with Jeff and the boys, I've used the excuse of it's easier to host holidays, etc at our house than to travel with the boys so I have more control over the menu. It's sneaky, but it works.
Edited by: ANNIE7205 at: 7/13/2011 (12:21)
Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. - Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Epicurus, philosopher
What I *try* to do is remind myself why I'm making the difficult choices, and, if I can sneak away for a couple minutes, log in to Spark and check the calorie count on what I'm resisting. For me, that usually goes a long way to me feeling like it's just not worth it to give in. Also, while I'm there, I'll usually see a blog post or even status update that serves as a good reminder!
Pounds lost: 46.8
Fitness Minutes: (7,335) Posts: 1,094 7/12/11 3:05 P
I am finding that I have excellent support on my journey at home. My DH is excellent in this regards, even the kids try to be supportive.
But I am finding that I seem to be getting less and less support at work (where I spend so much of my days). If anything it is the complete opposite. People are insisting at times that I just have one piece of cake or if the boss is buying lunch have what everybody else is having. Things like that. I do feel bad that I am not "participating", but it is what it is.
They just don't seem to get it. I have tried to explain that unfortunately I am one of those people who once they start eating something they don't just have one bite or one small piece, I end up eating a whole lot more than that. If I say no, I mean NO.
How do you handle support or lack of support either at home, work, school, family?
~ Tree ~
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.