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DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,970)
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10/21/11 10:26 P

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Thats good Barbara but Susan will pray for you and your sister my brother is just like your sister I feel for you

DEE Southern New Jersey
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10/21/11 9:39 P

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Yes, it really is sad that loved ones get so greedy for worldly possessions
and money, when their loved one dies. I can't understand it at all.

Dee, that is the way that my DH and I have our will. If he dies, I get
everything, or vise versa.



"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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IZZYBEBOP's Photo IZZYBEBOP Posts: 12,813
10/21/11 8:43 A

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I do have POA and she does have a will. She doesn't have any money, and the house is in my name, so all she has is belongings and everything goes to me, and 1 penny goes to my sister. Although she has told me what she'd like to go to her grandchildren, I've told her to start writing it down although it's just a few pieces of furniture.

The same thing happened with my dad and his sisters when his mother died. They all stopped talking to each other. It's really sad when people start fighting over a deceased ones money and belongings.

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10/21/11 12:25 A

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my parents did one it all goes to the other one when the other one dies and only after they are both gone is everything had to be sold and shared

DEE Southern New Jersey
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BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
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10/20/11 11:29 P

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Almost 4 years ago, my step dad passed away. He and mom had a will
made, with all 3 of his children mentioned, and what they got. The youngest
got the house, although Mom could have lived there her life time, she
chose 1.5 months later to move out. The others got collections of knives,
another got a watch collection, the son- gun collection.

The will spelled out exactly word per word, what his children got. He
had the will made himself, Mom only signed.

Every child got a copy of the will, they got all that he mentioned in the
will. But everyone of them were so angry. They wanted to know where
was dad's money. For one thing, he never worked a good paying
job. Mom worked until she was 71. Mom needed money to move
and live on. Even today, there are still hard feelings about what their
dad did. It can really get nasty, when there are greedy people, after
a death.

I was never so shocked in all of my life. I still shake my head in
disbelief. All those years, everyone got alone well together and
they acted as though they loved Mom & my family. But feelings
can change in a heartbeat. My Mom, who is so sweet and was
so good to them, was devastated while in mourning. But they
didn't care!!!!

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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10/20/11 8:46 P

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Also a judge came to the association meeting talking about wills and said if you dont leave a family person something you can write in for all the money I had left you and you didnt pay back or put why you are not leaving them anything .. so the court knows the reason why

DEE Southern New Jersey
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Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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10/20/11 1:00 P

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Susan just make sure your Sister is mentioned in the will. I know in most states if all the children receive at least something it can not be challenged, but if they are left out is when the door is opened for a loop hole.

IZZYBEBOP's Photo IZZYBEBOP Posts: 12,813
10/20/11 9:43 A

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I do have a POA, and she's made her will. That's one of the first things we did.

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10/20/11 12:14 A

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hugs

DEE Southern New Jersey
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Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
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10/19/11 11:10 P

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Susan, I have power of attorney for mom. If you have POA for your mom,
your sister can do nothing. She can call and be ugly to you or when she
sees you, but lawfully speaking, she can't gain anything from it.

If she contacts you and harasses you, you will have to report her to
law officials. Especially, since she is prohibited to contact your Mom.
I wouldn't worry about this too much. I know that is easier said than done.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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10/19/11 6:10 P

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As long as you have power of attorney and you are executive of the will she cant do anything to cause problems

DEE Southern New Jersey
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God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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IZZYBEBOP's Photo IZZYBEBOP Posts: 12,813
10/19/11 10:15 A

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Thanks for sharing this. I do have Power of Attorney, but also have a sister who has caused so many problems for my mother that she is prohibited from having contact with her. However, she and her DH could cause major problems when the time comes.

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7/10/11 11:32 P

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thanks for sharing

DEE Southern New Jersey
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Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
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7/10/11 8:53 P

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Mayber, it is so sad when someone is dying and has money, home and
etc. and someone greedy, will step in and be deceitful and steal their
worldly goods. Most of the time, it is the person who has done the least
or none of the things needed for the victim, that gets so greedy and does
these terrible things. However, I have seen it happen way too often. It
is so sad and I feel it is almost criminal.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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7/10/11 6:00 P

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Very good information
Wish had known it a few years ago when my husbands brother and wife took every decision out of the hands of a maiden aunt who was very sharp and in her right mind up to the day she died however when put in a nursing home by her nephew and he cut her beautiful on hair because it was too hard for the home to care for she gave up and died shortly afterwards
my husband had taken a job in the city where the aunt lived and she allowed him to move into an apartment which was her sisters before she died and my DH was getting too close to this aunt although he never would have pressured her to change anything she had enough money to hire good help and remain in her home but the greedy brother got jealous and moved her and we lost a great relative she was a former teacher and lived and interesting life traveling throughout the world we continue to mourn our loss one day at a time but have great memories of her to this very day and do our five children we honor her memorly RIP Aunt Lulu King

Edited by: MAYBER at: 7/10/2011 (18:01)
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7/9/11 10:01 A

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yes it is sad that they steal from the dying

DEE Southern New Jersey
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Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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7/8/11 11:54 P

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Thanks for posting this information. I just learned that my Dad can still withdraw from his account because POA does not say he can't. So now I am in process of getting guardianship. If he can still withdraw from his account, then some one can drive him to the bank to have him do that. So sad there are people who would have him do that.

It was in the news this eve that 2 people are being charged with theft for taking $$$$$$$$ from old people and dead people. I think they were professional guardians. So sad.

Actions speak louder than words.


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7/7/11 7:13 P

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oh yes we have to be but sometimes its not as simple as it is

DEE Southern New Jersey
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Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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DADDYS_GIRL6's Photo DADDYS_GIRL6 Posts: 16,419
7/7/11 6:26 P

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BraveOne you are so right that you are blessed that your siblings don't interfere with the care your Mom needs. That is so hard and we have witnessed it although my own siblings shared responsibilities and worked hard for us all to stay on the same page!

Dee hope your Mom continues to improve even if it is slowly!

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7/7/11 6:10 P

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Dee, I am glad that you have your plans made. It is a good thing to
be prepared.

I am covered for mom's medical and business needs. There is no
other to take care of her. I do have to thank and be grateful that
DD gives mom baths and DH helps out lots. I am so blessed and
so is my Mom. I am glad that my brother & sister does not interfere
with anything that goes on.


Edited by: BRAVEONE92 at: 7/10/2011 (20:40)
"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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DADDYS_GIRL6's Photo DADDYS_GIRL6 Posts: 16,419
7/6/11 10:58 P

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Some states there are 2 power of attorneys and both must be granted and papers signed for.

Financially is the "durable power of attorney" to do business in the other persons name.

Health decisions for someone else you need a "medical power of attorney". DH had both to care for his Dad in IL and TX.

It surely is complicated!



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7/3/11 11:02 P

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have power of attorney and also they know what i want

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
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Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,811)
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7/3/11 10:08 P

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You were very lucky Barb..so many have this thrown at them at the last minute and have no idea which way to turn.
We all as adults should be thinking..what if....
1- What if today..something happened and you could not speak for yourself? Who would carry out your wishes?

2- What if today...something happened and you suddenly needed emergency surgery due to an automobile wreck,heart attack, in other words your worse night mare, that left you incapacitated, who would stand up for your rights?

Always remember my friends, we count our blessings everyday,but we are never promised our next breath or the next day here on this earth. Make sure you take care of your special request not only for yourself but to help ease the pain of your loved ones.

This is the same reasoning that goes to your loved ones, I urge everyone that has not looked into these matters...do it now. Do not look at this as the end, but as a goal we all have to meet.

Everyone deserves to have a spoke person for them in their time of need. Make sure you have yours and make sure your loved ones are covered as well.

May God Bless You All,
Barbara


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7/2/11 11:29 P

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thanks for sharing

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
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Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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DJ4HEALTH's Photo DJ4HEALTH Posts: 39,825
7/2/11 10:54 P

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emoticon emoticon

Dorothy





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7/2/11 10:39 P

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Great information Barbara. This should be lots of help to those who
are new or perhaps will become a POA someday. My lawyer made
Mom's and she had to sign it. So I had it all explained to me. He
also attends church where we do. He was a Ky. State Representative
for many years.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
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7/2/11 6:42 P

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Managing Someone's Affairs under a Power of Attorney


Let me clarify first that all cases are different. It is according to whether you are the only sibling, or close relative and no one will contest the fact that you have POA over your Loved One.

Next it is very important to the amount of the estate and to the State you reside in, every State has different laws.

Usually a quick call to the lawyer that drew up the POA will verify what needs to be done. The firms name should be on the document.

To avoid later mishaps and possible fines, Please check all your local laws on this matter.

Also make sure if there was any mention of living wills enclosed while the POA was being made.


1
Activating the Durable Power of Attorney
Often the Durable Power of Attorney will state that the Agent may only act if the Principal is disabled or incapacitated. It is important to read the Durable Power of Attorney and determine what documentation is necessary to activate it. Sometimes it is sufficient to obtain a statement from one doctor, attesting to the Principalís incapacity; sometimes two doctor statements are needed. If the Principal denies he or she is incapacitated (despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary), a court order declaring the Principal to be incapacitated may be needed.

2
Asserting control over the Principalís assets
Once the Durable Power of Attorney is activated, an Agent with the authority to manage the Principalís finances needs to establish control over the Principalís assets. With regard to third parties holding assets, such as banks & investment firms, this can be accomplished by presenting an affidavit, signed by the Agent, stating certain facts (including the fact that all acts necessary to make the Power of Attorney effective have occurred, & the Power of Attorney has not been revoked). This procedure absolves the third party of any liability for relying on the Power of Attorney, unless the third party knew or should have known that one or more material statements in the affidavit are untrue. This affidavit procedure was adopted in 2001, & is intended to ease concerns by third parties about giving access to the Principalís funds. If a third party does not honor the affidavit, the Agent may file a court petition.

3
Accounting by Agent
Anyone with a legitimate interest in the welfare of the Principal generally has the right to request an explanation of all property of the Principal that has come into the possession of the Agent, and all expenditures made on the Principalís behalf. Under the court procedure explained below, a court has the authority to compel an accounting. Depending on the situation, it may be prudent to hire an attorney to assist with the preparation of an accounting, to ensure it complies with the standards applicable to fiduciary accounting, particularly if the Agent anticipates any dispute to arise over the information contained in the accounting.

4
Revocation or Termination of a Durable Power of Attorney
The Principal retains the right to revoke a Power of Attorney at any time, so long as he or she is mentally competent to do so. A court also has the authority to revoke a Power of Attorney, which is important if an Agent coerced the Principal into signing a Power of Attorney through fraud or undue influence. If a Principal attempts to revoke a Durable Power of Attorney after he or she becomes incapacitated, the Agent may be forced to file a court petition declaring that the Durable Power of Attorney remains in effect, and that the Principal has lost the right to revoke it due to an ongoing incapacity. The Agentís authority under the Power of Attorney generally ceases at the Principalís death; however, any action taken by the Agent before he or she has actual knowledge of the Principalís death is binding on the Principalís estate, unless the action taken is otherwise invalid or unenforceable.

5
Court Proceedings over Powers of Attorney
Execution of a valid Power of Attorney often keeps the Principalís affairs out of the court system. However, there are situations where a court petition may be brought to resolve a dispute regarding a Power of Attorney. For example, there may be a dispute regarding the validity of a Power of Attorney; whether any disability of the Principal necessary to activate the Power of Attorney exists; and whether the Agent should be removed for misusing his or her authority. In such situations, the Agent, the Principal, and the Principalís spouse, registered domestic partner, or legal guardian may file a petition seeking a court order resolving the dispute. A petition may also be filed by any interested person, so long as that person demonstrates to the courtís satisfaction that he or she is interested in the welfare of the Principal, has a good faith belief that the courtís intervention is necessary, and that the Principal is incapacitated or otherwise unable to protect his or her own interests

6
What a Court Petition may ask the Court to Do
Any petition filed may ask the court to: (1) Determine whether the Power of Attorney is in effect or has been terminated. (2) Compel the Agent to produce an accounting, if the Agent failed to produce an accounting within 60 days of a written request. (3) Ratify past acts or approve proposed acts of the Agent. (4) Order the Agent to exercise or refrain from exercising his or her authority for a particular purpose. (5) Modify the authority of the Agent under the Power of Attorney. (6) Remove the Agent, upon a determination by the court that the Agent has violated or is unfit to perform his or her duties, & that the Agentís removal is in the Principalís best interest. (7) Approve an Agentís Resignation & approve any accounting submitted by Agent. (8) Confirm the authority of a successor Agent upon removal or resignation of a prior Agent. (9) Compel a third party to honor the authority of the Agent. (10) Order the Agent to furnish bond in an amount the court deems appropriate.

7
The Rights of the Principal in Court Proceedings
The Principal is automatically considered a party to any court proceeding, and therefore entitled to a copy of the petition and notice of any court hearings. However, if the Principal is incapacitated, the court should appoint a Guardian ad Litem, or GAL, to represent the interests of the incapacitated Principal. The appointment of a GAL is not automatic, as it is in guardianship proceedings; in this type of proceeding, a party must petition the court to appoint a GAL for the Principal, and an evidentiary hearing will be held to determine whether a GAL is necessary. The Principal has the right to attend any such hearing and object to the appointment of a GAL.

8
The Court's Ruling at the Hearing
At the hearing, the court must order relief that is the least restrictive to the exercise of the Power of Attorney while still adequate in the courtís view to serve the Principalís best interests. Upon entry of an order resolving these issues, the courtís oversight of the Agentís actions and the operation of the Power of Attorney ends, unless the court finds that further court involvement is necessary or another petition is subsequently filed. In ruling on a petition, the court may award costs, including reasonable attorneysí fees, to any person participating in the proceedings from any other person participating in the proceedings, or from the assets of the Principal, as the court determines to be equitable. In a proceeding to compel a third party to accept a Power of Attorney, the court may order costs, including attorneysí fees, to be paid by the third party if the court determines that the third party did not act in good faith.

9
Resolving issues without resorting to a Court Hearing
If all parties agree to a resolution of the issues raised in the petition, then a contested hearing may be avoided by execution of a binding settlement agreement; filing the agreement with the court is deemed to be equivalent to a final court order binding on all parties.


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