I have always set my goals for a 10 lb weight loss at a time. I haven't ever really pictured myself at an "ideal" weight because I don't know what that would be - maybe 200 lbs. I would be real excited to get down to 270 at this point. I have been in the 270's for the past year except for when I went back up to the 280's. I have been stuck but I haven't stopped trying or given up. I have been eating healthier. I have stopped craving McDonalds every day. I used to go there late at night and had a bag full of food at least 2 times a week. I ate a lot late at night. I still crave food then. I have learned how to save calories for the evening. I always have a sugar free chocolate pudding - well at least most nights - and tell myself that is the last food for the day. The other night I wanted food so bad in the evening - I ate a banana, some watermelon and a plum. My binges have changed to fruit.
I would like to weight 200 lbs in the long run. I would like to buy cuter clothes that are smaller sizes.
Part of my dream has been reached - with losing 40 lbs I got my A1C down to 5.8 and have been able to go off of my diabetic medication and my lipitor dose has been cut in half because my cholesterol levels have improved.
So I will keep plugging along. I do have a dream of a lower weight and a healthier body and lifestyle.
I do have a dream of me at goal. Here's my explanation.
When I first started SP, I woke up one morning looked at myself in the full-length mirror on the closet door and saw myself, but kinda of like a double-exposed picture, I saw myself shadowed in front of the image of myself at goal. No I was not the supermodel I had always pictured, which blew my determination out the window in the past. This was just me much thinner, looking happy, energetic and active. I stopped and stared at it and the shadowed me stayed right there in front of the real reflection of me. I burned that image into my mind, not knowing why at the time, but just going with the feeling that I needed to make that dream, make it come true, and keep it alive in my mind.
It seemed like a few hours later, I saw a little plaque somewhere that said, Dream it! Believe it! Achieve it! Wow, what a statement! First you have to dream it! But don't stop there, you have to believe it before you can achieve it. So I started working on the believing part. It took awhile for me to get to the point where I could remember that image of the happy, active, and energetic me at goal and actually believe that I could be that way. Yes, I lost some weight as I was working on the belief part. I had to lose weight for health reasons, but when you cut your calorie intake and do more exercise than you have been doing, which had been mostly moving from one chair to another at best, but no exercise at all, you have to lose weight, you can't help it.
Once I believed I could get to goal, the achieving was apparent. Like it or not, I was going in the right direction. I did hit a plateau that lasted for over a year and it drove me nuts trying to figure out what the problem was. I had cut the sugar, I had cut the salt, and I knew I had to cut the fat, but how. I tried everything I could think of, but the fat was not coming down on a consistent and everyday basis.
When the surgeon told me NO FAT! I tried to eat no fat, absolutely no fat, which was impossible because there is fat in everything. But he knew I was attempting to follow his directions. I lost 8 pounds in the two weeks before the surgery. The surgery and aftermath caused me to gain 4 of those pounds back, but now I am down 9 pounds lost. I have managed to reduce my fat intake to basically the good fat and no bad (saturated or trans) and it is starting to show on me, at least on the scale.
I still feel like a giant water balloon, almost a pear shape on top of skinner legs, but I can see where my lower arms and hands, lower legs and feet, have gotten the thinner longer look back. I always said I was overweight from my elbows to my knees. And I was. and again I am now.
So I've figured out how to not eat fat, my last nemesis and I'm losing weight again. I never quite, I would cry and bang my head against the wall, but I never quite because I knew at some point I would find the answer again.
I'm back to 30 carbs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, 15 carbs for snacks, and attempting to not have a late night snack as I don't feel I need it, but I basically eat every 3 hours and I finally got back on that schedule yesterday.
I used to track fitness with not problem, now I have a problem with it, but that's because I have to basically not do anything but wandering, nothing fast or exuberant. So I am happy I am not stuck in the hospital, still.
The aches sometimes turn to pain, but Tylenol works well and its an experience that is making it so I can learn so much about so many things and I love learning.
I hope you have a dream of you at goal and that you have figured out how to keep it alive and that you believe you can reach your goal. I think it will help you get there and once there, keep you there. The biggest thing I have to learn is how to make it my lifestyle forever. My biggest sweat is that when I get to goal, I will relax and revert back to the garbage-in lifestyle I used to live. Even now, while knowing I will not go to McDonalds, I would go if it were not for the NO FAT diet I am living on right now. Chicken McNuggest appeals to me, but I know I would get a large fries with it as I love those things and would not be able to stop myself.
So my long story is done now. I wish you all well and lives filled with lots of joy and learning.
Have a great one!
Author of the published novel, The Double K Ranch!
Good morning, Team! I hope you are all doing well, full of energy and happiness.
I'm drinking my breakfast this morning - V8 Splash pineapple and orange. Just need to cut back on the bread and coffee a bit and get something a little more nutritious than the soft foods I've been eating. Trying to maintain a low fat/low carb diet even though the doctor told me to add a little more on a as-I-can-handle-it basis. I lost another pound yesterday so that makes me happy. Closer to onderland and getting real excited. 4 more pounds down and I will be back at my lowest point in memory.
Do you have a dream of you at your goal? Are you keeping that dream alive and how?
This may seem like a tough question - actually two parts - but I will explain my madness on the next post.
Have a great day!
Author of the published novel, The Double K Ranch!
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