|Author:||Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:||
WOW... just wow. Lots of issues. But one thing I will say is your hubby is not a mindreader. If he is going to stop at mcd's TELL him to get you a salad. If he still doesn't, ask him if he wants to take care of you when you are blind or an amputee. Diabetes is a serious disease and must.. MUST .. be taken seriously.
As to the other issues, sounds like he is rebelling in his own way. You could make up signs that say.. spatulas ONLY here, but that doesn't mean he will read or comply. I do all the cooking and hubby and son do all the clean up. Granted they may forget to wipe down the stove or microwave but eventually it does get done. Maybe a discussion of why he does things the way he does is in order? Might take some of the resentment out of him. Good luck.
Just found this site. Not sure how I got here. Don't really care. But I hope I accomplish something using this site! LOL!
I found out in late August that I am type 2 diabetic. Not happy camper (don't camp, but I'm still not happy!). Having a difficult time with this when I've had more serious things in the last 10 years or so about which to be concerned--breast cancer, one functioning kidney. Even the asthma isn't that big a deal--it's just a hassle and and an inconvenience.
I took a couple of diabetic education classes. Informative, but because I'm fighting the diabetes in a negative way, so bottom line...I'm having trouble with carbs...of course...show me something that doesn't have carbs, and I haven't ate it. I seem to be able to find any and all carbs in existence, and i'm going to eat them.
Since I began looking at carb levels in foods, because I eat frozen dinners for lunch at work, I was amazed at the number of carbs in so-called "healthy" frozen dinner: Weight Watchers (one meal I looked at and left at the store had over 80 carbs in it!), Lean Cuisine (45 carbs!), Healthy Choice (45 carbs).
I don't enjoy cooking for just me. I'd much rather let someone else do it, and I'm usually prepared to pay for it; but right now, that is not possible. I try to vary my frozen dinners because I can get in a rut. I'm beginning to think I need to get in a rut and stay in it! That's discouraging and annoying to me. Because I like ruts. I enjoy trying new and different things because of my ruts.
I rarely cook the same meal, but I hate cleaning up. To avoid that I had a temper tantrum shortly after my youngest left for the marines. As my husband has always done (I work hard at my job, when I come home, I expect you to do it), I decided that wasn't the way I was going to do things. We've been married a 31 years, and he's "forgotten" much of what I told him I expected from marriage before I married him. I've let him keep his boy ways for far too long a time, so my temper tantrum happened.
I went along with things for several days, and got angrier and angrier all the time. Finally, I said, "I'm not doing this any more. If you want to eat, you're going to do the dishes. I will cook, but you will do the dishes. Or I cook for myself and clean up after myself; and you can do whatever you want." He didn't believe me. I calmly fixed myself dinner and let him do whatever/however. That lasted less than a week. That was four years ago.
He's been in a passive aggressive streak for the last few months. When he puts things away, he puts them wherever they don't go. He knows perfectly well they don't go there because they've never gone there. He puts things in the most impractical place or the most idiotic place. Once he put a bowl on the counter when he knows it goes on the shelf that holds the bowls. He put a dipper in a drawer that contains spatulas and cake decorating things. He put spatulas in the container that holds cooking utensils. Why he's doing this I don't know.
I did ask him why he put the bowl on the counter. He told me he didn't do it, my son did it. My son doesn't do dishes. My husband takes no responsibility for anything; he'd much rather deny than admit he did something questionable.
The way we communicate--if it's not about the weather or his job--is for me to write an angry email. There are times I confront, and others I don't. I'm in a no confronting phase. It will come although I'm contemplating another strategy.
While he would like to see me lose weight, at the same time, if he "cooks" (cooking to him is stopping at MCD [he rarely stops someplace else]), invariably he brings home high carb items. Never do I see a salad (he wouldn't know which one to choose because he hasn't a clue as to what I like and he never asks). He thinks that because he weighs about what he should, he doesn't have a "problem." I'm not sure about that.
So where am I going with all this? I wish I knew. At this point in my life, I want to see my boys (2) leading happy, successful, productive lives with someone solid in their life to love, support, guide them as they walk their lives. I want to see grandchildren grown and on their own in successful, happy lives.
I'm older (63) and oldest is just starting to break his 30s so my goals may be reasonable and reachable with him. For the youngest (25), our life together is full of questions. So my life is more full of questions than answers--isn't that the way of life? It seems my life.
I suppose I will be more retrospective now than ever before in my life. I've been content to just, I suppose good word is drift. My rut again. I'm not a risk taker. I just kind of left things roll. And I'm awful at rambling (as I've shown in this post). I can talk circles without difficulty or even realizing I'm doing it--SO I can be difficult.
I am set in my ways, I suppose. I never considered I was until recently. Mostly I just do. In my professional life, I've had supervisors who let me have my head much of the time. I considered myself fortunate in that. For the last 18 years; however, I've worked for the USPS and talk about being set in your ways--that's the postal service. One would think that would be a perfect combination--not at all. Because the postal service is quasi-military (many employees, management and non-management are prior military), and I resist as much as possible because frequently I just have a different point of view. For all that I think I'm different, I don't know that that is entirely true. I'm just a rebel at heart, I suppose. Rebel without a cause.
Another life begins...