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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 25,710
4/20/12 7:51 P

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I am so pleased you are keeping sober and happy one day at a time. It is a different way of life.

Hugs Wispy.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
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"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
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Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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MAESTRAPLANK1's Photo MAESTRAPLANK1 SparkPoints: (18,302)
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4/20/12 6:01 P

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We were at lunch a few days ago with friends that we hadn't seen for over a year. The wife noticed that I wasn't drinking; I ordered diet coke and said I don't drink anymore. Plain and simple. Nothing is plain and simple. She asked at the end of the lunch " Now, why is it you aren't drinking?" I told her I can't drink one glass of wine and that I would drink the entire bottle. I told her that I am in control of my life by choosing not to drink and that is my personal decision.

The next time we have lunch I plan on asking her, "Now, why is it you are drinking alcohol?" emoticon


Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

SOBRIETY ROCKS!


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MAESTRAPLANK1's Photo MAESTRAPLANK1 SparkPoints: (18,302)
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4/7/12 12:57 A

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Wow! I really love SparkPeople. I just read all the responses to my inquiry and I appreciate each and every one. I needed to ask about sabotage because it is a reality and is going to be an ongoing challenge. Logging my sobriety everyday on My SparkPage is therapeutic for me and keeps me going. I will never return to alcohol due to the most horrible withdrawal that I went through. I made several promises to God that I am keeping since He allowed me to survive the ordeal. The vivid memory of this ordeal also keeps me sober.

Change is a process and I appreciate the support I receive from this website! Tomorrow our youngest son is coming to visit to talk to my husband about his drinking. We both have discussed this and are aware that he has to be ready to make his decision. We are hoping for the best.

I read a fantastic book by Porter Freeman, Finally Fit at Fifty, in which he speaks to making a lifestyle change. He quit alcohol and had to relinquish relationships because the situation wasn't good for him. My family is a support system which is helping me. I am so blessed to have them.

I go to bed now sleeping well for the first time in years with the anticipation of waking up to check how much healthier I am and realize that I am happy and stronger than I have been in years. I will not go back to drinking, but I also am aware that it is a day to day challenge. The old song, "One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus" pretty well expresses what I feel.

I am taking care of my mother-in-law which takes a lot of my time. She is an invalid and I oversee her 24/7 care, take her to the doctor, get prescriptions, pay the bills and do payroll,
and do the grocery shopping plus oversee home maintenance issues .... plus try to keep three caregivers happy so that she receives the best possible care. This is a ministry in itself and I thank God for the opportunity to help in this situation. I love her so much and I miss the person she was before the many strokes.

Reaching out to others is more meaningful now to me since I am in recovery because I know what it feels like to be in pain. What a joy to see someone smile again. I am seeking more opportunities to help in the community, but I haven't quite decided what it will be. I am bilingual so I am thinking about using this skill to help others.

My house is now clean, organized, and I am so proud of what I have accomplished. I enjoy life so much more and I really feel focused and excited about life in general. My grandchildren are proud that I have lost 50 pounds and walk and move a lot better. They were worried about me.

Sabotage is out there, but I am following my own drummer and will not allow sabotage to deter me from my healthy choices and current lifestyle. I feel so much better sharing with my SparkFriends because I no longer feel alone and realize that a lot of people have dealt with a lot more than I dealing with. emoticon


Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

SOBRIETY ROCKS!


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EMILYULM1's Photo EMILYULM1 SparkPoints: (26,086)
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4/6/12 1:32 P

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My prayers are with you. I often think how nice it would be if people around me ate well and exercised. No donuts or cookies in the staff lounge, no junk food in the cupboards at home. But my success in treating my body well does not depend on what others do around me, although at times it sure feels like it. It might be even harder with drinking. I am not an alcoholic, but am a child of alcoholics, so I attend al-anon. But having my own addictions (food, busyness, overanalyzing, guilt, etc.) I know how hard it is to try to overcome something when it appears that everyone around me is doing the thing that I don't want to do anymore. One day at a time.

“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles…. it empties today of its strength.”


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 25,710
4/6/12 12:34 A

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Thanks Carol. I am happy to share. Blessings to you also. I guess we both stopped smoking using the programme as well.

Isnt that a double blessing. :o)

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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CAROLMAROL54's Photo CAROLMAROL54 SparkPoints: (9,738)
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4/6/12 12:00 A

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Wow Wispy Thankyou for sharing your story! you are Awesome! God Bless! Carolm.



One of my many passions in life is to support People who are trying to quit smoking. I've been down that hard road! It DOES!! get easier! I promise! LET GO AND LET GOD!


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 25,710
4/5/12 8:33 P

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Hi there, I guess we all go through it to some extent. All my friends were drinking friends, I wouldnt have wanted any that werent. My view of sober people was that they were dull, boring and uninteresting... sad but true. I got sober many years ago now, one day at a time in AA in Ireland, where almost everyone drinks, or so it seemed to me. I worked in television and had an antique busniess and my life revolved around drinking partying, wheeling and dealing and off filming with the unit. To me life was wonderful - until - drink became the number one problem. I had been using it since my teens to live the kind of life I wanted and then it turned round and bit me. I had been a depressive since childhood and also addicted to food since then. When alcoholc stopped working I did not know how I would surive.
I had a friend in AA who suggested I go to a meeting and see if I could identify. I did that because I was desperate and I was also kind of suicidal. I say kinda of because I used to think about it, and how sorry everyone would be for the way they had treated me, but I was afraid of actually doing it. I had this belief system - still do actually - that if I killed myself I would have to come back and learn the lessons I had not learnt again in this life and the thought of living my life again was worse than proceeding with what I had.

AA is beyond a shadow of a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I knew I was desperate. I also had emotional problems and at the meetings in those days, if you were caught by the police if you were not imprisoned for something related to alcohol you were put in an asylum when you were no longer safe to yourself or others. That was in Ireland over forty years ago. I used to go to the Asylum meetings, and hearing the stories of others I soon dicovered I was much worse than I had any concept of. I did not think I really was an alcoholic for quite some time. I looked for all the differences rather than the similarities. I knew what I thought an alcoholic was, and it was a drunken, unshaven bum sleeping under bridges, his coat held together with a safety pin and I did not realise it could even be a woman. Thankfully people are more enlightened these days.

My friends did not understand either and because every area of my life was around drinking and drinkers, I found myself pretty much alone, not from choice, but I soon discovered that being with people who were drinking and drunk no longer even appealed to me, apart from the fact that I was terrified of drinking again. Fear kept me sober for perhaps the first two years along with meetings almost every day. Everyone does not go to the lengths I went to to get, and stay sober but I was very sick and desperate. I got myself a sponsor who had 15 years sobriety and worked the steps and I went to meetings. It was really the only time in the day I got any peace from the stuff that rattled around in my head without a drink to calm it.

The miracle is I did stay sober one day at a time and I found new friends in AA at first and over the years I began to join the world again. Most of my friends these days do not drink, but some do and I have a son who is still drinking, even though he knows my story. He is not ready to stop. We love and accept each other as we are and he knows my story. I seldom go into pubs these days, I hate the smell now.

AA, a sponsor, working the steps, trying to carry the message and many meetings is what got and kept me sober one day at a time and gradually I found a Higher Power I was able to believe in by just keeping an open mind. I thought it would never happen for me, but over time it did and now it is the most real thing in my life.

Wishing you well.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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IAMDARLENE's Photo IAMDARLENE Posts: 7,032
4/5/12 3:46 P

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You aren't alone!!!

I began going to Al-Anon in 1989 and my dh still has a problem with this. It's nowhere near the problem it used to be, but it's still a problem for him.

The way I see it now (I didn't see this before) is, since he has a problem with this it's his problem and not mine.

Sometimes answers are so simple and I can still be so complicated. I guess that's why I need to use slogans like "keep it simple". love, Darlene



CAROLMAROL54's Photo CAROLMAROL54 SparkPoints: (9,738)
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4/5/12 1:42 P

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Hello Carol M. Here Do you go to Meetings and do you have a sponsor? If not I would suggest that you RUN! dont walk to a Meeting and get a sponsor, So that you have support, I would also suggest that you have a serious talk with your friends and your husband (separately) about why you want and need to stay sober (you must know you have a problem with alcohol and may be an alcoholic) Can u get to face to face meetings? if not their are online meetings @ In the rooms.com u can join that for free. You may have to leave several people behind (like your friends) that dont understand or care about you. Your Soberity and your Recovery Comes FIRST! without that you have nothing! Pray to your higherpower to get some awnsers God Bless! and First things First! Love to you CarolM. intherooms.com

Edited by: CAROLMAROL54 at: 4/5/2012 (13:43)


One of my many passions in life is to support People who are trying to quit smoking. I've been down that hard road! It DOES!! get easier! I promise! LET GO AND LET GOD!


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MAESTRAPLANK1's Photo MAESTRAPLANK1 SparkPoints: (18,302)
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4/5/12 12:41 P

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Is there anyone in your life trying to sabotage your recovery? I have several people who aren't convinced that I am through with drinking and are continuing to invite me to pubs, and send me email around drinking; even my own husband who continues to drink frequently talks about drinking and how good it feels. I am maintaining my sobriety with the help of God and SparkPeople. I was just wondering if I am alone in this. emoticon i would love to hear from others who are facing a similar situation.

Edited by: MAESTRAPLANK1 at: 4/5/2012 (12:43)

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

SOBRIETY ROCKS!


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