Wow! I really love SparkPeople. I just read all the responses to my inquiry and I appreciate each and every one. I needed to ask about sabotage because it is a reality and is going to be an ongoing challenge. Logging my sobriety everyday on My SparkPage is therapeutic for me and keeps me going. I will never return to alcohol due to the most horrible withdrawal that I went through. I made several promises to God that I am keeping since He allowed me to survive the ordeal. The vivid memory of this ordeal also keeps me sober.
Change is a process and I appreciate the support I receive from this website! Tomorrow our youngest son is coming to visit to talk to my husband about his drinking. We both have discussed this and are aware that he has to be ready to make his decision. We are hoping for the best.
I read a fantastic book by Porter Freeman, Finally Fit at Fifty, in which he speaks to making a lifestyle change. He quit alcohol and had to relinquish relationships because the situation wasn't good for him. My family is a support system which is helping me. I am so blessed to have them.
I go to bed now sleeping well for the first time in years with the anticipation of waking up to check how much healthier I am and realize that I am happy and stronger than I have been in years. I will not go back to drinking, but I also am aware that it is a day to day challenge. The old song, "One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus" pretty well expresses what I feel.
I am taking care of my mother-in-law which takes a lot of my time. She is an invalid and I oversee her 24/7 care, take her to the doctor, get prescriptions, pay the bills and do payroll,
and do the grocery shopping plus oversee home maintenance issues .... plus try to keep three caregivers happy so that she receives the best possible care. This is a ministry in itself and I thank God for the opportunity to help in this situation. I love her so much and I miss the person she was before the many strokes.
Reaching out to others is more meaningful now to me since I am in recovery because I know what it feels like to be in pain. What a joy to see someone smile again. I am seeking more opportunities to help in the community, but I haven't quite decided what it will be. I am bilingual so I am thinking about using this skill to help others.
My house is now clean, organized, and I am so proud of what I have accomplished. I enjoy life so much more and I really feel focused and excited about life in general. My grandchildren are proud that I have lost 50 pounds and walk and move a lot better. They were worried about me.
Sabotage is out there, but I am following my own drummer and will not allow sabotage to deter me from my healthy choices and current lifestyle. I feel so much better sharing with my SparkFriends because I no longer feel alone and realize that a lot of people have dealt with a lot more than I dealing with.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
| current weight: 163.0