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CARRAND's Photo CARRAND Posts: 5,385
11/19/12 7:50 P

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Good luck. I hope you can enjoy the holiday.

Carol

Do I dare disturb the universe?

We must risk delight.


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GOLFLADY11's Photo GOLFLADY11 SparkPoints: (33,743)
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11/17/12 11:30 P

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Beth I know you said your husband freaked out at the thought of anyone helping him, but I really feel that you need the help. I would keep pushing the idea until he gets used to it. You will not be much use to anyone if your health suffers. The caregiver always seems to take the brunt of things. I think you are very brave and strong. Good luck!!

"Fall down 7 times, get up 8" - Japanese Proverb;
The journey is the reward"


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ANYVAR54's Photo ANYVAR54 SparkPoints: (63,671)
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11/11/12 11:06 P

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Beth Hope you had a blessed weekend. Ravyna

Ravyna
Central time zone - North Texas

i am a born- again CHRISTIAN, wife to one husband for 34 years, mother of three, and grandmother of two.


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N16351D Posts: 2,349
11/11/12 8:42 A

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P.S. I think mine was longer than your original post!!! n16351d

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N16351D Posts: 2,349
11/11/12 8:41 A

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Beth, what an incredible story you have told us all. You are a heroic woman. Many who have more health, position, and money than you are not as strong as you. Wonderful to read that you are able to function some parts of every day. My thoughts and prayers are with you through a really tough series of blows. Maybe something written here will be of help to you.

Hospice helped us when my ill father-in-law lived with us. Also has helped others when illness struck a family. Another helpful resource is "meals on wheels" with the senior center. The charge is small, which may be too large for you, if it is available in your community. They bring two healthy, well-balanced meals a week to a home for a small charge.

I have a box by the front door. As I go through things cleaning and sorting, I ask myself, "Can I live without this item?" and, "Is it easy to replace?" If so, it goes into the box and off to a mission; Goodwill, Samaritan's Purse, Salvation Army or elsewhere. The amazing thing is that I fill it at least once a week!

I contracted a virus last May; was diagnosed with a lung infection. I am not well yet and have been in bed as much as possible since onset of illness. The unfortunate part was that we had contracted a man to remodel our bed and bath in July. It never occurred to us that I would still be sick that month, or ensuring months.

My home went from semi-disorganized, to seriously disorganized during those summer months as we tore up walls, the bathroom, and replaced everything in two bed and bathrooms that was old, damaged, ripped, stained, or broken. That was everything, walls, flooring, ceiling, shower, toilet, sink, faucet, and even the two 37 year old beds! What a mess! All of that work is completed, the sheet rock dust is gone, and boxes of items from storage are now in the rooms.

Throughout all of this time I had this chronic ache in my chest, and significant fatigue. I called on the calvary for help. It is not just charity, these kids earn something for their work. They learn to serve others and have intrinsic rewards for helping the sick.

The Girl Scouts need community service badges to earn and they were at my home. The little ones washed the deck with Tide and water, the older ones cleaned the windows. Others came inside and cleaned the floors. They get points toward a badge, and I get housework help.

High School students need community projects for "Dollars for Scholars" program, and I became one of the "projects". Two teenagers come every other week to do the weekly cleaning (bathrooms and all floors), one of those kids comes back to help me move heavy items as we shuffle things around and settle into our new rooms. I get housework help, and the kids get points toward scholarship monies at their high school graduation. They need 80 hours of community service to get $500 of money for college programs.

I would never have managed any difficulty in my life were it not for my church. There is a place of service. I give generously with my time and talents when able, mostly during my teens, twenties, thirties, and forties. Now, in my time of need, the church is helping me. It is humbling to be on the receiving end of service. I knew to serve and give, now I am learning to receive.

A youth group chose to go on a mission. It was cost-efficient for them to stay in the same state in which they live. The leader of the church chose our town and brought his youth group of 50 kids to our community for ten days of service as a mission last June. One widow got her house painted, she had to pay for the paint. The teens provided the work. Another widow got land cleared with which to build a garage for tools and her car. I got the middle school age kids who weeded my entire yard and vegetable garden, and pulled out two large stumps. They also dug a huge rock out of the tulip garden so I can plant more there this month. The kids learned about service to God by giving to others. We gave them an opportunity to gain intrinsic reward for giving to the poor and needy. I was inspired by their generosity and continue to give to our community during my infirmity as I am able.

Another source of help I received during this trying time was through my brothers and sisters. One in particular is exceptionally generous and we do what we are able for each other. The two of us share our faith in God and seek to serve others. The other brothers and sisters mostly take from us, but we want to show God's love so we give to them as we are able. I would be in much worse situation had it not been for the service of the church for many decades. I could write a book on how the church helped when I was single mother going to college during my twenties.

You wrote that you have one daughter who is unavailable. I never read of family members so calling on that calvary may not be an option.

But there are small ways can give to others even during infirmity. You can call on someone more ill than yourselves to cheer them up with a phone call. You can give your excess to the thrift stores. While it may be impractical in your case, maybe you can bring cookies to the nursing home or convalescent center or something. When you give to others, it is easier to accept help from others. We can't always give back in kind to the one who gave to us, but rather, we pass it on to someone else as we are able. When we are able to find some way to give, we are better able to receive, so that it is not accepting charity.

I agree with former posts that the box system may be helpful, and to focus on the kitchen and bathrooms first. I would save the deep cleaning of the kitchen for later, (inside of cupboards...) but get the floors,outside of cabinets, counters clean and clear so you can use them. Read that you used the crockpot. I think it is one of the greatest inventions! It saved me when I was in college, working, and a single mom!

I, too, stand short at 5'2", and have gained weight in my infirmary over the last six months. I have to stop this trend. It is due to lack of energy for exercise, but eating the same way I have for the last forty years. I started jogging at age 15. At age 55, I was doing it until I became ill in May. When I do have some energy, it has had to go toward the cleaning, sorting, and organizing of our home. So though I have some bursts forward, there are many bursts causing me to go backwards!

I have had to learn and reinforce the importance of boundaries and limits. Since I have for decades given to church, community, and family, all of them call on me every week to do more for them. Last week I was asked to join two organizations, rejoin the choir, teach Sunday School again, and be a reader at church! Sorry, but I have to say, "no" until I am healthy again. The hardest is saying 'no' to my aging mother. I would love to do more for her than I am able. I overdo it with activities for her, and set myself back. Maybe you have already learned how to say, "no" to others who ask for help when you are swamped with your own struggles and responsibilities at home.

I have also had to learn about prioritizing projects and tasks at home. Some of the best advice I ever received was, "Make your list. Prioritize it. Now, choose one and do one thing at a time." At least after I work for an hour, I can see something at the end. I used to start one thing, become distracted, and end up with many starts and nothing completed. Then I had nothing to show for my time spent at work.

I am scheduled for a stress cardiogram next week to learn if I am not recovering because the virus affected my heart. I can expect to be ill for many more months. Darn!

In summary, my illness of six months (so far) has taught me many lessons which you probably have already learned. It taught me that receiving and enlisting help from others is not taking charity, or incurring a debt. Rather, it is a result of the natural give and take of being human and living with others in community. Our enlisting help from others gives others the opportunity to grow in the area of giving. They gain an intrinsic reward. In the case of the Girl Scouts and Dollars for Scholars candidates, they also earn badges and money from the community.

Over fifty years of attending churches most Sunday mornings and sometimes Sunday evenings, I have learned the value of the church in community, and why go to church. We gain peace and serenity in trying situations, we gain friendships, we have a place to give. We learn to give our situations to God and let Him guide us through the toughest times and places. We learn that we are not alone.

Nor are you alone with this online Spark community of friends. Would love to meet you in person.

Hang in there. Be encouraged. Know that others are thinking of you. Peace in Him.









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QUOQUO's Photo QUOQUO SparkPoints: (586)
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11/11/12 3:02 A

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Beth, you're a hero! How is it going?

The world is my sandbox.


 
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CARRAND's Photo CARRAND Posts: 5,385
11/9/12 4:25 P

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emoticon

Carol

Do I dare disturb the universe?

We must risk delight.


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SOMOMOM's Photo SOMOMOM Posts: 164
11/9/12 10:10 A

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I have helped several others when dementia is involved. If you pick a church or a different organization, they will understand that it's not really your husband talking, it's the disease. My step-father is currently in the throes of it and accusing my Mom of stealing every thing and every penny he has. It's hard, but those who have dealt with similar situations understand. Not trying to talk you into anything you don't want to do, just offering my 2 cents worth on how the care-givers think--we don't pay attention to what they say, even when it's nasty--we just care about helping you. The boxes and the bags are great ideas--I may incorprorate them into my own disorganized house. My work is super-organized as a payroll specialist for a local hospital (1300+ employees) but my brain is dead when I get home and the house shows it-lol. Hang in there Beth---people care and please update us when you get a chance. I have a few aunts in NJ, NY, and VA who are affected by Sandy also--I hope you're faring as well as you can be.
Rhonda

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FRANNYMAE80's Photo FRANNYMAE80 Posts: 1,953
11/7/12 12:07 P

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Beth I admire you spirit! If I could make a small suggestion, clear zip-lock bags; they come in all sizes from snack to 2 gallon, I love them because I can put like items in them that I can see like my son's toys or flash cards and even things as big as board puzzles and store them with all their pieces. That way when the kids want something all the pieces are in one place. And once your're done with the bag, you can re-use it.

franny

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

-A.A. Milne


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ANYVAR54's Photo ANYVAR54 SparkPoints: (63,671)
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11/7/12 11:40 A

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Beth, I just found this thread and read through it all,
The boxes have worked for me, in the past few years all of my kids have moved out of our house, leaving the upper level totally in a mess. My hubby and I literally emptied rooms by just stuffing stuff in boxes and putting into another room, One of the rooms was one of the bathrooms on that floor that now has stuff that needs to be found a place for. This worked great for me, that I can get to that stuff later. Just pile it all in one room, and clean out another.

It seems to me that when you moved into town you may not have pared down your belongings for a smaller place. Do you need to pick and purge?? Do you have a two car garage where you can store a couple boxes to put things to donate to goodwill, salvation army or another organization??? You can take advantage of this on your taxes. Just be gutless in getting rid of things. And it will be easier on your hubby if there are fewer things around. Just remove them one at a time.

I will be looking to see how you are doing.
emoticon and emoticon Ravyna

Ravyna
Central time zone - North Texas

i am a born- again CHRISTIAN, wife to one husband for 34 years, mother of three, and grandmother of two.


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LHLADY517's Photo LHLADY517 Posts: 24,837
11/1/12 11:09 A

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Absolutely, consider this your lifeline where you can call for whatever you need, even if it's just to vent.

Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts. Zechariah 4:6 NKJV

BETH150's Photo BETH150 SparkPoints: (1,826)
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10/31/12 10:42 P

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Is okay if I update, share, vent & ask further questions here ?

I Am Becoming - Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ All That I Am Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ



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BETH150's Photo BETH150 SparkPoints: (1,826)
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10/29/12 10:34 P

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Carol, Boy I sure wish he did! Sadly no. I have turned over every rock there is to turn over & we/he qualifies for nothing. Not even once he can't work any more...... :( He is working as he has help and his Drs think it's good for him (I agree), plus we are poor church mice. Since my injury we lost almost everything we ever had. With being self employed, we (our accountant) over looked some very important taxes/programs we should had been paying into all these yrs, that we never even knew about. There is NO SSI SSD SS or anything for him or me.

Which is why it is so important that I get able to move forward with my new career.

My cupboards do need a major over haul but I think for now I am going to stick to the must do's so I can free up my inner & outter energy & improve my attitude. Then when the major area are done move forward with these areas as time allows.

I started bring boxes home today so Operation Boxes has begun ;)

Right now this very moment I am praying we don't lose elec (or worse) as we live in the state of Pa where the bad storms are hitting.

If I am not around for a bit I lost elec.

Just for a FYI - I did bring up getting help in to hubby & OMG - yeah it went over as bad as I feared it would. So it will be just me - myself & i doing this - but I am not surprised at his reaction.

PLEASE don't be upset with me (anyone) that I am not taking that piece of advice.


I Am Becoming - Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ All That I Am Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ



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CARRAND's Photo CARRAND Posts: 5,385
10/29/12 2:53 P

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Would your husband qualify for home health care under medicaid? If someone helped out with him a couple times a week you might have more energy to work on the house. I know someone with mental health issues that gets an aide who takes her shopping, etc. and it's covered by medicaid. Your husband has a physical ailment, but he might qualify for help, too.

I like the idea of the boxes. Don't forget to set up boxes for things that you need to throw out or donate. I keep some of my clutter under control by donating things to the Salvation Army. They take dishes, cookware, clothes, linens, all kinds of stuff. I had so much kitchen stuff I couldn't fit it in the cupboards, so I sorted it out and donated a lot of it, and only kept the things I really need and use. Everything fits into my newly cleaned cupboards and it's much easier to keep things clean.

Carol

Do I dare disturb the universe?

We must risk delight.


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BETH150's Photo BETH150 SparkPoints: (1,826)
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10/29/12 2:27 P

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I am putting much thought into the box idea. Thank you for explaining it so well :)

I am not asking for help. I just won't do it to them. He will MF them, GD them JC them and so on. I'm not doing it. I would be so stressed wondering what he is saying or will to them, just the thought of it makes me physically ill :(

Edited by: BETH150 at: 10/29/2012 (14:28)
I Am Becoming - Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ All That I Am Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ



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CHRISTINASP's Photo CHRISTINASP Posts: 1,856
10/29/12 3:37 A

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I like LHLady's idea about the stuff, and I agree that maybe it's good still to see if a church or others can help. In the long run you may not be able to do it all on your own.

Another thought is that if you start with the kitchen, you take all the stuff that doesn't belong there, put it in a box and place it in a room that you don't use. Place the boxes there (write on them what is in there! and to what room you want them to go later on).
Then clean the kitchen, then do the same for the bathroom.

I really think that making a plan is very important. And after you've made it,say 'I will put in x time per day'. And write in your agenda or on a calendar what you will do per day. For me it's cleaning the kitchen on monday, vacuuming on tuesday, cleaning the bathroom on wednesday, decluttering on thursday, etc..
Doing a little bit every day will make a difference.

Edited by: CHRISTINASP at: 10/29/2012 (03:40)
Keep it simple.


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LHLADY517's Photo LHLADY517 Posts: 24,837
10/28/12 10:22 P

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Maybe label a box for each area (If there's room near the area, set the box there so you don't have to worry about trying to move it later) and put the things in them as you go along. Don't try to put the things away, Focus on clearing the area where you start. Then as you get to these other areas, you already have some of the stuff close to where it belongs.

As to subjecting people to PICKS, I understand, but local churches and youth groups are still a good idea for the "heavy" lifting. Maybe you could set up these times for minimal exposure, but even if not, explain the situation to the organizer of the volunteer group and they can prepare the volunteers. These groups don't need money so don't hesitate to ask for help.

Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts. Zechariah 4:6 NKJV

BETH150's Photo BETH150 SparkPoints: (1,826)
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10/28/12 10:06 P

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PLEASE know I truly appreciate your ideas for getting help in & not to be rude in ANY way - PLEASE try to understand that 1. we can't afford even 5.00 extra $$ right now 2. PICKS disease is not a condition I would subject anyone to. Let me give you an example. So picture this, hubby me & grand daughter are sitting in our living room talking, laughing having a nice visit. Hubby leaves the room & returns with grand daughters baby doll - opens up the bird cage & puts it in, sits back down like it was totally normal. He uses horrible horrible language when he gets upset and you never ever know what will upset him. Family (yes I said family) & friends have ALL walked (ran) away from us. We don't go to or belong to any church and even if we did, it would not work out. When something is moved to a new place it GREATLY stresses him out. I know how to do it (most of the time) so he is "ok" but other people would not know how to handle him.
I just can't explain it any more ways. I don't know how.
Let's just suffice it to say "I am on my own with the work load" ;)

Ok moving forward.... I love the ideas! The BIGGEST question I keep coming up against is - the part I explained that I have items that belong in 5 different rooms all in 1 spot. So I got 5 boxes and put items in it. BUT I have to clear the spot/areas that the item (s) go in before I can even put anything away, so now I have more items that need put away, so I clear those areas and now I have MORE and more & before I knew it I have a mountain of a mess.

I don't know how to put items away when the area they belong in are covered, full, behind, under items that need put away. The whole place is like this.

I want to do the game plan suggested here - badly! But how do you put 5 lbs of stuff away when you need to move 10 lbs of stuff to get to where it belongs and then the same thing for those 10 lbs which turn into 15 and 20 lbs and so on.....?


I Am Becoming - Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ All That I Am Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ



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ROSIEJ1942's Photo ROSIEJ1942 Posts: 10,264
10/28/12 6:13 P

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As for what TRAVELBUG12 mentioned about some Youth helping you out, a lot of youth these days, need Volunteer Time for their Graduation, maybe there are some that would be able to use their Volunteer Time as Helpinh Someone in the Community,,, at least here they have to have so much time in Volunteering these days... Just a Suggestion??

Rosie

Rose in Michigan
November 19
♥.*)♥ -::- ♥~*-::-*♥~.
♥ .* )
.* )♥ .*) ♥-::- ♥.*) ♥

Always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.

Living one day at a time : enjoying one moment at a time: accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotton Son, that whosoever believeth in him should no


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LHLADY517's Photo LHLADY517 Posts: 24,837
10/28/12 4:07 P

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First off: I love your attitude. You are awesome.

I think CHRISTINATOBIAS has a great idea in writing out the plan.
Prioritize.
The list will at first seem overwhelming when you look at everything that needs to be done. If that happens, Stop and focus on just 1 room/area. Write down everything that needs to be done to get it ready to clean, to clean it, to organize it and then to maintain it.

Once the list is written, move things around, prioritize. Then break each task you've written down into steps.

I hope this helps.

Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts. Zechariah 4:6 NKJV

KNUCKLES145's Photo KNUCKLES145 Posts: 13,401
10/28/12 1:02 P

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or even a group of friends. :) maybe people you used to work with? see if a non profit organization has "community projects" that need to be done.

What has worked somewhat for me is to pick on small area to clean up (desk, night stand, kitchen counter, bathroom counter, bed etc) once it is cleaned, work very to keep that area from getting out of control again. keep adding small areas and before you know it one whole room will be cleaned and organized.

when you are working on one area, instead of letting yourself get distracted by another task,write it down on a list of things to do. then during your next "burst of cleaning" you can look at that list and figure out which of the items you can do.

You have alot on your plate and I applaud you for trying to find your "new normal". (and I totally hear you about not being able to "move forward" with the house being like it is) remember to celebrate the small successes. Just like with the our weight loss journey, looking at the WHOLE picture can be overwhelming. instead try focusing on one smell step at a time.

GOOD LUCK and let us know how you are doing. (several of us post on a monthly "what I cleaned and organized" thread

All the so called "secrets of success"will not work ... unless you do.




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TRAVELBUG12's Photo TRAVELBUG12 Posts: 6,138
10/28/12 12:39 P

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Hi - my first thought was church. Do you have a church in your area?
I know that many have young folks groups who would come to your home and help you
get things organized and cleaned.
Best Thoughts are going to you and your husband.....

CHRISTINASP's Photo CHRISTINASP Posts: 1,856
10/28/12 4:40 A

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Wow. You didn't want pity so you're not getting that from me! (grin).
However I do want to offer you emoticon because you have been and are going through SO MUCH.
I admire you for your attitude, starting a new career and adjusting to your 'new normal'.

I think it's great that you can now do the 20 minutes at a time, a couple of times per day. That's wonderful.

I don't really feel that I can offer you much advice as I haven't been in your shoes and haven't faced this type of problems.
However the thought that I had is that there may be two things to focus on:
1. Using those 20 minutes times 4 to 6 times a day making the most of them. That is 80 minutes of cleaning or working on healthy meals that you CAN do!
2. Prioritizing and making plans may be the thing to turn to. Plan plan plan.

You may know these things already, just mentioning them:
- I think I'd start by sitting down and making a plan.
Write out for every room what needs to be done there. Both to get it 'back in shape' and to maintain it. Calculate how much time you need for that. Then write out a schedule and plan what you will do on monday tuesday etc.
Keep a log: cross off if you've completed the tasks. This should give you an idea of whether your estimations regarding how much time you need for each task are corrrect, if they're not, you can correct them.
Decide which rooms are most important and start with those. Try to just leave the rest; promise yourself (and them!) you will get to them later.

And PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK (if that doesn't hurt) for completing a task.

I would pick the kitchen as the first room to work on, making sure it gets decluttered and clean. Then I'd tackle the bathroom; these are the two most important rooms that need to be clean if you ask me.

Don't forget to keep patting yourself on the back!

You could post your schedule here, or on your blog, and share how it's going so others can cheer you on. I'll add you as a friend so I stay informed on how it's going!

You sound like you were very active and probably used to being able to tackle a problem right away. Now that you are limited physically this is no longer possble so you may need to train yourself in taking small steps, having patience and perseverance.



Keep it simple.


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AUDREY-A*NEW*ME's Photo AUDREY-A*NEW*ME Posts: 6,008
10/28/12 3:51 A

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Hi Beth, you are a very brave and strong lady.

I am in a similar position, but nowhere near as drastic or serious as you. I work full time in a very demanding job and am a single mum.
I used to keep the house and garden well maintained and the children were always well fed and looked after. A few years ago I was sick and off work for about 6 months, then developed sleep apnoea so was tired all of the time. Now my house is like a bomb has hit! Friends tell me to just do it, or get someone in to do it, I would be mortified for anyone to see the place the way it is. I don't have ongoing health issues (but do need to be careful of my back) but suffer from a lack of motivation. My boys are now adults and have moved out. I either don't know where to start, or I do a little bit then get overwhelmed at the amount still to do, or can't be bothered. I'm tired of doing so much for all those years with no-one to help.

I hope that someone is able to come up with some solutions for you, and I will watch the posts with much interest.
Are you able to get someone in to do the most and then start again with your system to maintain? It sounds like things are not going to improve in your situation, so it could be a way to get 'back on track' and then continue from there.

Good luck to you and your family, I hope that things go as well as they can.
Audrey.

Height 163cm = 5 foot 4 inches.
Highest weight 81 kilos = 178.6 lb, Dec 2005.
SP Start Weight 8th July 2006 78 kg = 172 lb
HALF WAY 17th September 71.5 kg = 157.6 lb
June 2007 reached original goal 65 kg = 143 lb
July 2007, 62 kilos = 136.7 lb
December 2008 72 kilos = 158.7 pounds.
December 2009 78 kilos = 172 pounds!!! Going the WRONG way!
December 2010 77 kilos = 170 pounds.


 current weight: 165.0 
 
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BETH150's Photo BETH150 SparkPoints: (1,826)
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10/28/12 12:39 A

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LHLADY517 & Members - First I want to say THANK YOU!!!!!!! The posts you make at organized life are SO very very helpful! I can not tell you what a blessing this team is to me! For the first time in a very long time I have HOPE again!

I have owned my own commercial cleaning co for over 25 yrs, and ran my home as clean & organized as I did my business.

I have a issue that is stopping me in my tracks for feeling free to move forward with weight loss that I am hoping this team can help me with. I am going to take chance and pour my heart out here & show all the ugly skeletons in my closets.

**Warning** Very long post. I want to try to explain this all and cover any questions people may have so we can move on to the solutions ;)

At one point I had my home on a cycle of "deep cleaning" 1 room a week. That meant cleaning it very well and organizing it, doing repairs, updates etc in it. By keeping this system I was able to run/keep a large home, my family & my biz with success.

Then I had a accident & suffered a very serious spine injury. For 6 months I was in a wheel chair. I am doing much better now (aprox 8 yrs later) but I face many many challenges around our home now.


After we realized I was only going to get worse we gave up our home/land and came into town to live in a ranch town house that offers all the major maintenance in with the rent.

It is now just me & hubby at home. Well and the fur kids ;)

A few yrs after moving here I had another accident and this time hubby refused to help with any of the home upkeep. My home is in horrible shape. It is full of clutter and to be quite honest it's dirty. emoticon

My spine suffered a lot more damage this time & I found myself in pain 24/7 with the simplest of tasks very hard to do - personal care as well as home care.
As an example to help you understand my situation better - the day I figured out how to put my own socks on all by myself I cried with joy.

The cleaning stopped, the cooking stopped, organizing stopped. It ALL stopped!

I turned to fast foods, TV dinners, boxed foods etc. I could not stand at the stove long enough to cook even a lb of hamburger. I could not sit at a table with even the slightest stooping over to cut up fresh produce like for salads. Even sitting upright to try to do things caused my arms to hurt so bad that it made my back hurt.

I think you get the picture.

Now here I am aprox 2 yrs since last injury - I have no more L or S disks in my back, the T disks are going. I have two artificial knees, I have bone spurs, RA, DDD and blah blah blah....
AND am at my highest weight ever! I am 5'2" and now weigh 272 lbs. :(

I also now know why hubby after having been supportive before turned into what seemed to be a major jerk who other then running my (our) commercial cleaning biz refuses to help me. At the age of 48 he has Dementia. Not the Alzheimer type. He has what is called PICKS Disease. It brings with it the same things as Alzheimer does plus a very nasty temper, depression, anger issues, inpatients, and all kinds of other mental health issues.

He is still working on the cleaning jobs (with help) just enough to pay our basic bills. But the Drs have no idea how much longer he will be able to work.

That is where I come in. At the age of 50 I am starting a new career. One that I can do from home & can work around my injuries/pain as well as meet his needs (down the road).

I am finally at a place with my physical issues that I can work around the house for aprox 20 minutes to 1/2 hr at a time then take a break for about 15 to 20 minutes. I can do this cycle about 4 to 6 times in day (unless I bend the wrong way or something then I am done until the next day after resting all day). I have become a crock-pot queen of cooking lol and have a ton of helpful kitchen tools to do the jobs for me now. I have a light weight vacuum with attachments. I even have a gadget like the floor swiffer to polish my furniture and do other cleaning with. I say my home is all gimped out ;)


BUT I have a MAJOR mental block!! My home!! emoticon

With it being in the state it is in I just can't pay attention to my online classes, plan meals, cook meals, work, exercise...really I can't do much of anything. I am froze up inside myself as I LOATH living in a home like this.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like those TV shows hoarders ;) We don't have bugs or molds and things like that. But it is not organized and not even close to clean.

I have TRIED so hard to over look this & move forward, but I just can't!

I have searched & search countless hours for ideas of how to tackle this project within the time frame my back/pain allows me to (explained above) and just can not find any ideas.
(I found fly lady but she is not for me.)

I NEED to get our home clean & organized again. Get a system for cooking and up keep etc again so that I can move forward with all the other responsibilities & goals I have.
I am able to exercise again - with Drs approval of home exercises but I just can't get moving as I look around me and see this......MESS!

We can't hire anyone, as $$ is very limited. My daughter (our only child) has 8 kids (yeah I know lol) and recently had a accident and spine injury too!!!!!!! :( emoticon
She is not even able to leave her home most days, then alone come & help me.

Also my hubbies Drs told me it is VERY important to keep a clean & organized home so that he is not always looking for items, as that increase his stress which makes the dementia worse. Keeping up with him at home is not easy. Most things you do like say get a glasses of water takes several steps to complete. He can get the glass, get the water & then he is done. So the cupboards are left open, the water running, the freezer door open (if he wanted ice cubes). So I am always going behind him to finish the steps of almost everything he started.

I do not want pity!!! This is my life now. I call it my new normal ;)

I know people who have it much rougher then we do.

BUT I sure don't want a unorganized & dirty home to be our final undoing.

I know I can handle this IF I can get some ideas of how to get it under control again. Once it is under control I am sure I can make up a do-able system that works within my abilities to keep it in good shape.

Here is THE cleaning/organizing issue:

SO much needs done what happens is I start on 1 task & end up doing 3 other different ones and before I know it the place is WORSE then before I started. I have to move 30 things that go into 5 different rooms & I can't put those 30 things away where they belong until I move a number of other things out of the way. Then were do I put those things until I can get to them? It just goes on and on like this.


I am wide open to charts, articles, tips, opinions etc of what I can do to tackle this???????

I want our HOME back again - right now we just live in a house.















Edited by: BETH150 at: 10/28/2012 (00:54)
I Am Becoming - Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ All That I Am Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ



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