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4/26/15 8:03 P

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Hello, Pixie...I walk, I do not run. I had a knee replacement and the doctor says it has to be low impact for me. I'm okay with that.

Now, was that race "fun"? Fun? And while I was training and hiking and working hard, was it "fun"? I said this to another hiking buddy, I don't know that I'm having "fun". I'm struggling and working hard to go up the mountain. And it's harder coming down. I can't say that it's "fun". But it's good. There's something good happening.

And something good was happening yesterday, even though I was struggling and breathing hard and going step by step up over these awful rocks up this mountain, even though it was uncomfortable.

It was something of value, and I need to lose weight and keep hiking.

I need to have a hiking buddy. I don't think it's good for me to go up this mountain alone. Those rocky trails are dangerous for old ladies like me. The young college students go chugging up and down with no difficulty, but I huff and puff going up, and have serious trouble coming down. Down is harder than up.

I need to work on my knees. The ol' knees don't work like they used to do when I was young. With work and weight loss I should do better. But I'm having a real problem losing weight now.

Shirt? Ooooh, I still have the shirt I got at the Hyner. That one's a keeper!

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4/26/15 3:50 P

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I have a running challenge going on around here every day of the year. Challenge here is getting everything done by days end, safely, satisfactory, and stress free. When I can do that for a week, it's time for the Beauty Parlor. Which has not happen for several months.

Not sure how you all feel but, everyone is a challenge for me. Have a quite and rewarding Sunday. Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/25/15 11:20 P

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Lawrence, your race sounds like it was fun. I hope you are able to do that again. I entered a race once with my sister. Mostly we just wanted the t-shirts. We walked rather than ran, and I think we even stopped at a pub for a soda. But weight finished the route, and we got the shirts.

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4/25/15 9:20 P

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Sounds like a plan emoticon

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/25/15 9:04 P

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Not next year. I can't get my conditioning back in that time. And I don't know who will take care of Allan.

When I raced my daughter, son-in-law, and Allan (who was messed up and stayed in the car most of the time) were there to cheer me on at the finish line. Allan will likely need an Allan-sitter this time, and we'll have to deal with the issue of Allan running caregivers off.

And I'll need to find a person who will race with me and not get all egotistical about time. I'm an old lady and I'm SLOW. My wonderful coach could have done the race in half the time, but she stayed with me at my old lady slow pace, and when we got to the finish line she paused for a second so that it looked as if I crossed the line before she did. Still we weren't last. There was a woman in her4 40's who came in after us, and two women who didn't finish and were brought in. So I was really next to the last, but in reality my coach was ahead of me. She ran up to the finish line but didn't cross, and yelled for my daughter to come with her camera and take a picture of her mother doing this stupendous thing. And then when we both came to the finish line my coach suddenly stopped and held back for a moment so that I got to be third from the last instead of second. But let me say that if my coach had run the race by herself she'd have come in in half the time.

I need someone who is willing to go slow slow slow with an old lady, and who can train with me. It may happen yet. I do know of a man who has problems with heights, and there sure are serious heights on this race. Perhaps his height issues and my age may work so that we can race when I'm 75 and maybe again be the oldest old lady to cross the finish line.

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4/25/15 8:45 P

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So Laura will be in training for that Challenge next year? emoticon

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/25/15 8:17 P

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www.hikerun.com/

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4/25/15 8:16 P

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http://www.hikerun.com/

Will this link work? Did I do something wrong? I wanted to brag and show off where I was hiking two years ago. But the link didn't turn blue so that you could click.

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4/25/15 8:06 P

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Well, am I crazy? Probably, but I'm glad for this.

I can leave Allan alone for some three or four hours, and that's what I did. Today I went hiking with three other women from Curves. We went up the mountain. It's only a little mountain in comparison to the Rockies and maybe the southern mountains, the Ozarks and such, only a small part of the Appalachian chain.

www.psu.edu/ur/about/nittanymountain
.h
tml


It was so good to go out with the other women. It was so good to do this thing. It was hard work for me because I'm out of shape and have gained weight. Two years ago I weighed less and was far more active and went up this mountain with my Curves coach training for a race

Here's the race I did. At age 71 I was the oldest old lady to cross the finish line. There's a picture of a sporty athletic man running. Two years ago I was walking in that same place, with that same view behind me.

http://www.hikerun.com/

But I've lost health in these two years. I've lost my strength. It takes work and time to build strength and conditioning, but it can be lost so fast!

I'm really tired now. I'm glad I hiked up and down the mountain. But I sure feel it now! I'm whipped. I'll go to bed early and I'll most likely be stiff tomorrow.

Oh, but what else? What else did I do?

I hiked BAREFOOT! I'm a serious barefooter. No shoes. As we were hiking along a group of people came chugging along from the other direction, and I heard a man say, "Barefoot hiker!" And we passed a group of women. They noticed that I was barefoot, and one of the women recognized me. having seen my otherwise bare feet in summer sandals in December at the Penn State Campus Gates.

I was too tired to cook dinner for Allan. I went to Burger King and got him their cranberry apple salad. I'll cook tomorrow. I worked really hard today and learned just how out of condition and overweight I really am.

Allan survived my absence. So did I. I'm tired. Bed tonight will be welcome.

Those favorite emoticons again:
emoticon emoticon

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4/25/15 7:26 P

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Oh Irene/Ree! I don't think I have the hardest job of all! I think the rest of you have far more problems than I do. I think I'm just the one who whines and complains the most. I often think I'm just a sissy, and that other people have a far harder time.

At this point what is hard is that ADD/ADHD is a genuine handicap which few people recognize, and it makes it hard for me to do thing that non-handicapped people can take for granted.

I'm so glad we're here. Knowing you're out there somewhere at your computers is VERY IMPORTANT. I hope we hear from Pixie and ReRe, too.

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4/25/15 7:25 P

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Irene you are right, you are the fornuate one with M and help is available to you if needed.

Fortunately Bob is at present more alert than previously and seems able to know right from wrong. However, he is trying to evaluate just which of the 3 alternatives he needs to decide on before Wednesday with a new round of a stronger Chemo.

Laura, as you said is working with a very strong willed person with a strong personality as what he wants and expects from her. That personality will never change however, she a change as how she should manage that personality.

Later tonight I'm going to look at the website for Caregivers from the Insurance company and sent for there tool kit. Hoping that kit or the website has something new that can be used. In caregiving you can never have to many resources.

Have a great day tomorrow.

Edited by: MICHELE142 at: 4/25/2015 (19:26)
Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/25/15 1:42 A

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Looks like it's just 3 of us on regularly, each one with a patient who had different problems,
Laura, I do feel you have the hardest job and receive the least help. Also a difficult patient who won't help himself .
Michelle looking after a patient on chemo , who has falls,
My patient gets confused and forgetful and now more incontinent but he's manageable and likeable, he eats what ever I give him. Never asks for food, he sleeps well and generally happy with himself and me, so I shall be thankful .
I had a lunch invitation for today. But no sitter, I was feeling a bit hard dine by that I can't go. But it's nothing really. We plod on because there is no alternative . Thinking of you all. Ree

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4/23/15 3:58 P

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My understanding is that Centre Crest thinks Allan does not need their services. He has a caregiver. And I have no idea how to find an ombudsman, and even if I could find such a person, I'm just too totally tired to fight and struggle with both an agency and now Allan who really doesn't want to go, even though he did give consent earlier. He has the right to refuse.

I can't struggle any more right now. I don't know what I would do even if I could figure out what an ombudsman is or where to find one. Maybe some time in the future I can get the will and energy to struggle with The System, but now I'm whipped and burned out.

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4/23/15 2:57 P

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Laura, what was the reason for No Centre Crest?

Also, did you ever contact the Ombudsman?

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/23/15 2:04 P

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It was snowing here all morning. Not bad snow, and it melted on contact, but still it was snow.

Doctor day today. The news is No, Allan will not be going to Centre Crest. I get to keep on being the caregiver. And I get to struggle with the Office of the Aging some more for some of their non-helpful "help". And I still am a non-person who doesn't exist and doesn't count.

And Allan is still in charge. He can run nurses off if he wants. He can refuse to cooperate. He can demand high sodium food, which he did today, realizing that since he hasn't been declared incompetent he can have what he wants, and he wanted a McDonald Quarter Pounder.

I asked him if he's willing to bear the consequences if he overdoses on sodium. He wants the Quarter Pounder, and he has it now.

I feel crummy. I need a nap. My head is tired.
emoticon

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4/23/15 12:56 P

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Now pollen this morning but plenty of frost, That frost will be back for tonight thru morning as well. Temps here are to be in the upper 40s for today and tomorrow. Where oh where is Spring?

Bob fell again yesterday afternoon,came out of it with only a 6 inch skin tear. So now it's dressing time once again. This time he fell between the coach and the coffee table. It has been a month since his last series of falls. His feet this time were tangled up in his throw. This fall upset him the entire day and he seems the same today. He sees his Oncologist tomorrow, to discuss if Chemo should continue or perhaps other options. Either way it's his discussion.

Received more info yesterday concerning the Caregiver Support from our Insurance. Seems I will be getting there Caregiver Tool Kit.

Have a great day and a better tomorrow. Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/22/15 10:06 P

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Pollen problems? Wow, my condolences!

Allan had pollen problems. Oh wow, did he ever have problems! First thing in the morning he'd be fussing and complaining and asking me to look at the computer and see what the pollen for the day would be. And he'd howl and carry on.

But the one day I got to talking with the young fellow at the pharmacy, and he explained that these expensive medicines like Zyrtec aren't like these medicines you take, and 20 minutes later they kick in and start to work. He said you have to take them daily, and it takes a few days for the effects to be felt.

Well! I wish someone had told me that earlier! I'd spent mega$$$ for one of those medicines, and it didn't work at all. Nobody had explained how these expensive ones work, and that it takes a week or so for the medicine to accumulate and do the job.

So I went to Walmart and got the knock-off cheaper version of Zyrtec and gave Allan a pill each day with his medicine in the morning. By the time the week was out Allan had stopped complaining and asking me to look in the computer to see what the pollen was today. I just keep giving him the pill each day (and I take one, too - I get miserable nose problems sometimes) and the trouble has stopped.

Oh, and yeah, Allan wants me to bring him coffee in bed. I'm wondering if he could get his own stuff more often. Sometimes he does come down and get things himself. Still he's just too used to being entitled to having me hustle and fetch for him.

OTOH he does complain of ankle and foot pain....

Oh, and I'm glad to hear your good news from the insurance company. It sounds as if you may be able to get some sort of help.
emoticon
Look at the time! Time for my favorite emoticons again!
emoticon emoticon

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4/21/15 11:11 P

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Troubled with a headache all day and eyes are water. Found the reason after the News posted to pollen and mold counts for today. What would I do without pollen and mold counts. At the same time I realized 10 minutes ago that I have not had a cup of coffee all day. Seems my feet can not hit the floor in the morning without hear I do's just can not wait till I can get up. They do not stop for the first 2 hours. Then Bob gets mad cause I tell him he has no Patience. However these past years after he spends time thinking abt what he has done, I'm sorry comes out.

Did get some good news in the mail yesterday. That News was from our Health Insurance Company. Seems I have been placed on their Caregiver Support list as Bob's Primary Caregiver. With access to all programs and coverage that they offer and not just with our Plan.. Perhaps this is a first step to a good change for a change.

Have a good night and a better day tomorrow. Michele



Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/21/15 10:05 P

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Today was not a bad day. Good in some ways. I went to my book club this morning and had a good time. Then I saw my therapist who gives me Emotional Hospice Care. At this point I don't expect to change or be a better person. But this therapist gives me that kindness and support.

Same ol' same ol'. Another day, and I don't have a clue. I'm working on learning to live that way. We see the doctor on Thursday and I will ask if there's any news from anybody.

And now time for my favorite emoticons:
emoticon emoticon
I am glad to report that with few exceptions I sleep well. Sleep is a mercy, and a time off from problems and duties and depression.

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4/21/15 1:39 A

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Hello on Tuesday. I have just read your mails catching up on what's happening, mixed emotions, frustration is ever with us. But also kind acts from others does help. Also trying to make time for ourselves,
I did go to a women's group, last night, such an intersting talk on patchwork. A lady brought her quilts to show us, each one has a story behind it,
Maurice was ok on his own watching TV for two hours .
Mike our son was away for two days on job interviews ,he's back this evening.
There are a few wet pants incidents lately, not mine ! I asked M does he know why? Yes he recognises the need to go but can't always get to the bathroom in time . He is seeing a continent nurse but not for a month. Going out with him is a nightmare ,Wr go from lavatory to lavatory , I have bought a pack of pads for men, maybe they would help when we go out .
Have a good week, Irene


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4/20/15 10:59 P

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The past is gone and all that is left ..... memories of what used to be.

The present is now and Bob is that present. Is he the purpose of my still being here or is the purpose, my career? I'm trying my best to give Bob the care he needs, all be myself. My girls consider this time in my life is pay back time for me. The youngest has found out that her company covers my situation in the Family Program. All I need is a signed statement from my PCP. Her time here helping me is paid as if she were carrying for her family. The oldest has the summer off from teaching, she will be here once a week or when ever needed. If I find myself alone, my girls have decided Mom will be living with my youngest and her family. For now, that time has not come but, their decision is gone from my stress level for now.

The future is only now being written, only God knows what that will be. Only He knows what is the best for Bob and I.

Have a good night and a better day tomorrow. Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/20/15 8:50 P

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Well, Michele! You sure said it!

Time to start Living instead of just existing?

I'm having a hard time with this. I do indeed go to my two book clubs, and I do go to Curves, and to Jazzercise when I can, and I see my best friend and sometimes a couple of other friends on Sunday afternoon, but the reality is that I don't have that much of a life. I feel abandoned. This isn't new. I've been through this before, trying to find help for Allan and nothing is there, and agencies can only give a band-aid and then only after my jumping through hoops for months.

And I don't know that I laugh all that much at this time.

Loving myself before others? I wish I could. My mother told me I was put here to serve others and not think of myself. Only bad girls think of themselves. I find myself kneejerking into the old things my mother said so many years ago. I feel worthless as a person, and my only value is what I can give to others.

I can't blame my mother. She was treated as a slave herself, the oldest daughter in a large family whose duty it was to take care of everyone else. And she passed it on to me - I'm the oldest daughter.

It sounds to me, Michele, as if you and I are dealing with similar stuff.

I hope the doctor does not declare Allan incompetent (although he is, to a considerable extent). I fear that it would mean that I have to stay home all the time and supervise him as if he were a small child (which he is in some ways). No more book clubs, no more Curves or Jazzercise, only go to the store when I can take Allan along. I don't know that I could endure that kind of house arrest.

How much must we give? I ask myself that question. I'm not married to Allan, and the brief time we were, well, he married me under false pretenses - he lied to me. Yes, he loves me and I love him, but I don't know that I owe it to him to ruin my own health. I wonder if I would feel differently if things had been different earlier.

Allan and I have a weird relationship. There are people who would condemn and reject me for my life with Allan. There are people who would think I deserve to be punished and deserve to live a diminished life.

I often feel abandoned and like an outsider.

I'm so grateful that we have this little team. It would be nice if there were more people here, but I'm so glad for Michele, Irene and Pixie (and ReRe whom we haven't seen for a while). It matters to know that you're there and you know how it is.

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4/19/15 11:15 P

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I was at GoodWill yesterday. This sweet little lady was trying to get a ceramic barn off the top shelf. She needed help so I got it down for her. I am so glad I did, it turns out she has Parkinson's disease and she trembled so much I was afraid she might drop the item when she was looking at it. I put it back for her when she was done looking at it. I thought of Laurance when I put it back.

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4/19/15 10:07 P

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Think it's about time I started Living instead of just existing

Laughing instead of crying.

Loving myself before others..

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/18/15 10:28 P

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Oh my, getting something off the top shelf at the supermarket? That happened to me yesterday. I couldn't reach. Other people had bought the items at the front of the top shelf and all that was left was way back at the back where short people such as myself couldn't reach.

There I was trying to push myself up to get that carton of orange juice, and a tall man came along and got it down for me.

Thank you! Thank you!

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4/18/15 3:55 P

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Laura, glad you got an uplift yesterday. I have heard that in many support groups or organization they are devoting one day a week to doing something nice for someone else. Such as loading groceries into the car and placing my cart back into the deposit stations, or ask if I need help getting something of the top shelf. ( 5'1" people do at times can not reach that top shelf.) Maybe it's just me but around here it is not expected for this younger generation to assist my generation. However its being done, recently at least.

Pixie, don't know how your weeks stack-up if on-call. I found that admissions an cases load equaled to more than through the week. Even more miles covered on the weekend than through the week. Fortunately, our on call weekend was only once over a 5 week period. I enjoyed those days and found them very rewarding.

Enjoy this late Spring weekend be Safe and stay Healthy.

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/17/15 11:36 P

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Laurance, what a wonderful happy day gift! It is so nice to be validated and to know that others care. I am so glad you had a happy experience today. Hope your weekend is nice. I am going to a multicultural event tomorrow with my daughter. It only lasts a few hours so I will be able to get everyone up, and give them their meds before I go. I will be back in time for the next meal.

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4/17/15 9:43 P

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I have to report this! Something good for a change!

A stranger was kind to me just a little while ago. This anonymous kindness really blew me away, I appreciated it so! Not that I needed this particular gift in a financial way, but the anonymous kindness was just so good.

It's Friday, and on Friday I stop by on my way home after Curves. There's a distillery in our neighborhood, within walking distance, and they have a really lovely lounge where they serve drinks and a snack. I am not willing to drink and drive, but this attractive place is close to my house and close to Curves.

As usual on Friday I stopped in on my way home from Curves to have my two drinks and a snack plate. This is a comfort for me. I appreciate and need the time to myself. For a while I can escape from caregiving.

So there I was with my nose in my book (I like to sit by myself and read), my drink and food close by. The waiter came by and informed me that someone was going to pay my bill.

Well! Wow! Holy crow! The last time that happened was in 1962 in Germany! Some kind person wanted to pay my bill?

I discovered it was a lady who appeared to be near me in age. She was there with three other people at a table across the room. She'd seen me there and just liked my face and wanted to pay my bill for me.

How would she know that I'm tired and burned out and need and appreciate kindness? I've been feeling so invalidated and dehumanized and struggling with that. What inspired this lady to want to be good to a stranger?

I certainly could pay the bill myself, and I came prepared to. But for me it wasn't the money, it was that someone who doesn't know me saw me and wanted to be kind to me.

Does it show? Do I look tired and burned out and in need of thoughtfulness?

I thanked her. I went over and hugged her and told her how much I appreciated her kindness.

Bellefonte is a small town. I hope I will cross paths with this lady. I suspect she likes this lovely lounge as much as I do, and I will probably see her at some time in the future. I hope I can do her a favor some time.

Right now I'm absorbing this event of a kind stranger wanting to be good to me for no reason but kind ness.

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4/16/15 10:25 P

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Bob always kept his keys in his pocket or on the table next to his recliner. If I can get someone to left the chair I could see if the slipped down into the bottom. I have gone through the 2 large cans in the house, dressings boxes, junk boxes by his chair, So I need to find something to put my keys on so when I'm out I can wear them around my neck. Given time, I would like to stumble onto those keys.

Have a good night and a better night tomorrow.

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/16/15 8:43 P

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Hi, Michele...if you can't find Bob's key, can you have yours duplicated? In this day and age it can cost $$$ for these keys that have a chip in them. My Subaru key is just an ordinary key, but my Volkswagen key is one of those fancy ones. It will cost me some $130 or more to have a simple key made, and some $250 or more for the one with the door opener and door locker in it. Do I have to?? Can't I just get a plain dumb old key? Nope? Then can't they make these keys cheaper?

I will have to bite the bullet and have the simpler of the two keys made, I fear. I hate to pay the money, but I don't want to be without that duplicate key hidden somewhere on the car.

I had a spare key hidden on the outside of my truck, out of the way up under the front fender. One day our dog went and locked herself and the key in the truck. I was so glad that I had that hidden spare key. Allan also had the bad habit of locking his key in his van, over and over, he never learned. But I'd concealed a key outside so that he was able to get in. Over and over. He'd come home and tell me he'd had to use the hidden spare key. And then I'd go and do what I did to put it back safely for next time.

A friend of mine and her sister went to New York City and locked the key in the car. Since they'd not figured out how to hide a spare key they spent all afternoon trying to get into the stinkin' car. And they didn't get to do the things they'd gone to New York City to do.

I have a spare key hidden outside the Subaru. But now I have this little VW New Beetle and I need to get a spare key and find a good place to fasten and conceal it.

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4/16/15 8:29 P

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Hello, Irene...oh, okay...so Maurice needs to have his passport because the TV said they are checking for passports. This sounds like a rather easy problem to solve, and Maurice can be soothed and reassured, here is his passport, he'll be okay.
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Well, I have not been able to found those keys. His key were the extra one we had for the car. So therefore, I can't loose mine. However, Bob has been more depressed this week. Talking about needing to go to the Funeral but, he's to weak to go. Saturday,is the date that his wife ( of his children ) was buried. Since we have been married we always went to her grave and placed a wreath. The last two years we have not been able to go. I have always, each Memorial Day have had his youngest Son place one for him. Lately, during his times of depression he has been questioning if he needs to continue his chemo. So a week from tomorrow, when he goes for chemo, I'll see if he mentions this to his doc.

Have a good day and a better day tomorrow. Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/16/15 2:11 A

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Hello friends, Having my son here even part time is helping a lot in every way. We have sane sense of humour and have fast too and for conversation Mauruce can't do now. He also looks for reasons why M does things. Like the passport fascination. Seems it was om TV News that the border controls are going to do more passport checks on people coming in the country, Something from that must have got in his mind that passports were going to be checked anywhere, it's a learning curve !
M hasn't driven for ages either, he did resent it at first but now accepts it. Keep calm ! Ree

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4/14/15 10:51 P

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No Bob is not driving and he has accepted that fact. He keeps them with him to try and keep himself as Patriarch For the last 8 months he has not mentioned anything concerning driving.
Infact he has stopped giving me instructions on driving. That's the Machoness and Cop in him.

Have a good nights sleep. Michele.

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/14/15 10:08 P

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Oh my, does Bob still drive?? Allan lost his driver's license almost three years ago because the doctor was required by law to report him.

And our dear Maurice wants to be sure he has his passport when he goes a mile away. A mile is a mile after all.

I saw my therapist today and told him I'm working on accepting the situation. I told him it was the Bad Old Days in Ithaca all over again, with this agency not knowing what that agency was doing, and all of them being slow and inefficient and offering only a bandaid, and invalidating me and treating me as if I were nonexistent. Am I a Second Class Citizen, or worse yet, not even a citizen at all? I don't want to stress to death over a condition I cannot change. I want to work on learning to live with it.

Just now I got finished indulging myself. Found a song on Youtube and sang along with it. Then found another version of that same song and sang along with it. And then another video of the song with other performers and sang along.

I'm cursed. I love music, and my mother was a musician, played the piano. But because of my ADD/ADHD I am slightly clumsy, not so clumsy that everyone notices, but clumsy enough that no matter how hard I try or how much I practice I cannot play an instrument. (It took me a long time to learn to type, and while I can touch type now, I'm slow and make a lot of mistakes.) And I am cursed with a tin voice. I just do not have the voice, and no matter how hard I try I cannot sing well.

What a curse, to love music but be unable to do any more than sing along with Youtube songs. Still, singing by myself just a little while ago helped lift my bad mood. I first heard this Schubert tune back when I was in college. I stumbled upon this site some time ago and was delighted. Here was the song I've loved for years, but oh my, what a lovely and funny and deliberate mis-translation!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V924
ab
v5h3g


Whoever did this really did well! This person obviously loves dogs. This joke mis-translation is nevertheless close enough. For the past half hour or so I've been singing along with this one and with other versions of this song that are available with a click.

So now I feel somewhat better. I'm going upstairs now to give Allan his medicine and watch some TV with him, and then end the day and go to bed.

Those favorite emoticons again:
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4/14/15 5:51 P

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Several days ago Bob missed placed his Car Keys. He has obsessed about them for two days.
I tore the apartment and the car apart and I can not find them. He has called his two sons and gave them the third degree on why the took his keys. ( to my knowledge they did not ) So last night around 3, this bright light flashes across my eyes. I woke, said nothing and find Bob walking with his walker and a flashlight roaming around looking himself for his keys. I due believe once I clamped down on my tongue to keep from laughing. This morning after getting the car from the garage, I again tore the car apart. No keys but, car looks cleaner.
I have gone through every purse I've used this month, laundry pockets, coat pockets today and no KEYS. Now I'm obsessing!

Have a good day and a better day tomorrow. Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/14/15 2:41 A

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Hello on Tuesday. The general situation is not going to change much fir most of us, I do try to accept it and enjiy the good times. Glad the team is helping you Laura it's some where to sound off and not feel people will be critical. We won't as we all feel the same at times. I do find on line groups are helpful. Dementia Aware is one on Facebook I use a lot.
M had an obsession with his passport yesterday, asking me was it still in date? Yes why ? We are not going anywhere. Oh he is , yeah right ,
He insisted on taking it to Ians last night , all of one mile away. " But you never know ! It's a different place " no point arguing he took his passport. I did persuade him later to let me out ut away so it will be safe till he needs it, life is never dull, difficult ,yes not dull. Take care . Irenr

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4/13/15 10:09 P

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My two favorite emoticons. It means the day is about over and I can go to bed now. I struggled with severe depression today. What a shame, since the weather was beautiful and warm, and I see that the hyacinths have come up and are blooming. I should be happy.

But whatcha gonna do? Sometimes the caregiving is just too much. Having a handicap makes it harder, and not having enough support or structure makes things next to impossible.

Although it is supposed to rain tonight, and tomorrow will be on and off rain, maybe things will be better.
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4/12/15 7:52 P

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The Wound Vac? I'm told it was invented by nurses, not doctors. I was good at it. I could get that sponge right over the wound (Allan was wide open like a can of sardines) and get it properly covered and attached to the suction machine.

I'd rather put on a Wound Vac than try to cook and provide food for him. I cannot manage his diet and cannot provide what he needs. Cooking has always been an issue for me since I was young, and having to provide a specialized diet three times a day seven days a week three hundred sixty five days a year is killer for me. But nobody understands this. What's so hard about cooking?

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4/12/15 7:47 P

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Right now I"m working on myself and getting used to the idea that I am a non-person who doesn't count and doesn't exist. This may sound harsh, but this is how it is for me, so it seems. I'm trying to just do what needs to be done and keep going day after day. If I fight being a Nobody I'll only get myself worked up.

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4/12/15 4:12 P

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Oh, I used to hate working with wound vacs but I must say they can be very effective. I am sorry you had such poor help from nurses. I know it must be so frustrating when you seem to know more about the person's care than the one's who are the "professionals". But don't sell yourself short. You are an expert when it comes to Allen's care. I used to work with a little boy who had a central line, and a feeding tube, and needed CPAP when sleeping. He was a quadriplegic and unable to talk. But his mother did the most amazing job caring for him. She knew just what to do in an emergency. Sometimes his nurses would panic, but mom never did. You fulfil that role with Allen. You may not have a nursing degree, but you have a doctorate in caring for Allen. Your care and compassion is what has allowed him to live as long as he has. I know that some days it is overwhelming. I feel that some days too with two people who have dementia and in wheelchairs. But we just keep doing what we need to. God sees your sacrifice, and he knows your heart. Mother Teresa once said, "I can do no great thing, only small things with great love". To me that is the meaning of being a caregiver.

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4/11/15 11:06 P

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I have talked with some friends that were caregivers perhaps 10 to 15 years ago. What they described in the caregiving is just what is going on now. Half of those I talked with did have the help of their family and a quarter of those received no help from their children but did get help from their grandchildren.

In many ways the lack of concerns of "Big Brother" for Caregivers is the same for research for Chronic Diseases. Take Pediatric Brain Tumors. Only now research is beginning, monies were not available in prior years. One if lucky can get help from home agencies but, no help and assistance for the Caregiver that lives in the home. I don't see a change until "Big Brother" unless they have to lives as the people that they are representing in D.C. . When that happens, things would change rapidly. "Now the horse is gone and the barn doors are closed."

Have a good night and a better day tomorrow. Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/11/15 10:48 P

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Pixie! Language! We'uns. Now, did I ever hear people use "we'uns"? I do think I've heard "us'uns" very very rarely. "We'uns" would be a double plural plural. (But then Russian has all sorts of double negatives and multiple things.)

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4/11/15 10:40 P

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Ombudsman! I have to find out what on earth that is and where to get such a person.

Hello, Pixie...we did have home health care services. At one point Allan had to have a Wound Vac, and we had these nurses coming in. *I* was the one who had to show the nurse how to use the stinkin' thing. *She* was the professional, while I was the stay-at-home-idiot, yet it was *I* who had to teach her how to use the thing. I was not impressed.

More recently we had nurses coming in. They were useless. They didn't spare me any labor, I still had to be there and show them where things were and see to it that things got done. One young nursie didn't know how to test his blood and I had to show her. I couldn't go out or do my own thing while the nurses were there. I had to be present for them. I don't know why they were here. I could do everything they could do, and more. I taught one nurse how to do tubigrip in a better way. They are the professionals and I am the amateur. What's this all about?

One bunch of nurses insulted me behind my back, so Allan reported. Since my back was turned I didn't see the insult and put-down. But it made him really angry, and he ran the nurses off and told them to stay the **** away. He doesn't want any more of those $*&^%#$ nurses back here, he says Laura does better than they do, and unfortunately he's right, to a limited extent.

Problem is, I don't do it all. What I do, I do well, and better than the Real Nurses. But I can't do it all. Too depressed, too burned out, too far gone.

The Office of the Aging is useless. They didn't help us, and they didn't help our Favorite Family Member. Now, I am not saying that they don't help anyone. They do give help to some people. But they have nothing to offer us, no help for us. And I walked out of there (six times) feeling like an idiot with my tail between my legs. What kind of worthless stuph am I to believe I deserve anything??

There will likely eventually come a time when Allan is declared incompetent. That's a really bad thing. It's so dehumanizing, so invalidating, so depersonalizing. Some time eventually it will happen, but I'm not thrilled. I'm in no hurry. I don't want him hurt and depersonalized like that. His decisions stink (he thinks he can get on a bus and head outta here somewhere, he wouldn't make it past the PA/Ohio border, c'mon), but he doesn't act on them. He defers to my decisions. So even though he's four going on three (huh? A while ago I thought he was five going on four, which is it??) he hasn't done anything stupid or destructive, other than run his mouth at the women from Centre Crest.

At present he has Patient Rights and he calls all the shots. As caregiver I'm the invisible nobody who doesn't exist.

As for the uselessness of the Office of the Aging, I learned that it varies from county to county. Some counties have good Aging Services, while others are a mess. I talked to a nurse who lived near the border. In that county things were a mess, but only a mile or two away across the border things were so well run and so competent. Similar situation here. Here we have really poor services, but in other counties the services are better. We just happen to live where services are worthless for us.

Whatcha gonna do?

Go to bed now, that's what!
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4/11/15 10:04 P

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Hi everyone! Oh Laurance, I haven't hear anyone say you'uns since I was a child! A girl moved to my hometown and she would say you'uns and we'uns. I never knew where she had moved from. I hope everyone has a quiet and peaceful weekend.

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4/11/15 9:56 P

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Hello, Irene! I'm so happy to hear that Mike is being HELPFUL!!! That's just so great!!!

Ooh, you said that Maurice didn't remember his granddaughter. Flashback here. My Dad said he knew something was horribly wrong with Grandma when she looked at my sister, her younger granddaughter, and asked, "Who is this nice young woman?". (I'm the older, named for her, I'm Laura Johnson Jr. and when I look in the mirror I wonder, What's my Grandma doing here??? I'm turning into my grandmother, Laura Johnson Sr. Eeeeekkk!!)

Yeah. My Dad knew something had gone terribly wrong. Grandma didn't recognize Hannah, my sister. And it was downhill after that.

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4/11/15 9:30 P

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Hello, Michele...you wrote, "lately I am having feelings that no one other than us, cares about Caregivers!"

You and I are not alone in this. I went to one of my two book clubs on Friday. Right now we're reading "The Wisdom of No Escape" by Pema Chodron. I feel as if I am in a No Escape situation, and I talked about it and how my caregiving situation relates to what we're reading and discussing in the book. The woman who started this group agreed totally with you and me here, because it happened to her, too.

She was the caregiver to her mother for seven years, and she, too, had the feeling that she didn't count, that she was nobody, that she was invalid and invisible.

And then another woman spoke up. She knew someone who had a terribly dreadfully disabled child who needed and needed and needed, all the time. The child had been in school of some sort, special education, and that gave the mother a break each day. But then the child graduated. No, the mother was not all happy and thrilled. What this meant that she no longer had that break during the day. Now she would be totally trapped at home doing intensive caregiving all day, on and on and on with no end in sight, since this was now a teenager and not an elderly person at the end of life. No time for herself, no life of her own. Invalid and invisible and nobody.

That's what I was told when I asked the women from Centre Crest. Allan is in charge, and too bad, sorry 'bout that, the caregiver is Nobody, Zero, Zilch.

So that's where we are starting from. That's why this Spark Team is so important to me, and why it matters so much that you're here, and I hear about you and Robert and what's happening, and how Irene is doing and how glad I am to hear that Mike has come back and is helping out so well. I look forward to hearing from Pixie, and where did our new member vanish to?

I'm rather disappointed in our local face-to-face support group. I don't know that it's going to get off the ground, and last time, as I believe I reported, I didn't feel supported - I felt blamed and invalidated.

So I'm glad for this Team. You are real to me, real people in real places, doing something similar to what I do, and it matters so much to check in and see how you'uns (that's Pennsylvania speech, similar to the southern y'all) are doing. (Michele, if I remember correctly, you said you are interested in local dialects. In Pittsburgh it's "yunz" or "yinz", one syllable. But here in central Pennsylvania, in the rural areas it's more "you'uns", more than one syllable, but not quite two. It's you'uns for two to four people or a small bunch, but if you're speaking to a large group, it's you'un'ses.)

Some people get disconnected by the computer. It's a machine with words on a screen. But I'm old enough to know that there are REAL PEOPLE there at that computer terminal, and they are super busy taking care of a needy, high demand person.

I wish I had energy! I wish I had focus! I wish I could get things done! If I could, I'd be working on Rights For Caregivers, and demand that we Caregivers not be invalidated and made invisible and forgotten. I'd demand Rights For Caregivers, and genuine aid for Caregivers, and an examination of just who is responsible for the care of people who are old and sick and disabled. Help the caregiver, don't just abandon us.

I feel so abandoned these days. Whatcha gonna do?
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4/10/15 2:09 A

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Hello on Fruday I have been catching up on your mail and feeling sad generally as its same old merry go round for most of you. Tiredness ,frustration , helpless. Does no one care ? feelings. . I am glad hobbies were being looked at.i do feel that's so important . I am fortunate. M just sits and watches tv all day generally quiet , so I can do other things, I do my cross stitch mainly or contact other stay homes on the Internet
Mike moved in on Tuesday , I am loving it, he's so good with his dad and a great help to me. On Tuesday I went to a fellowship group I hafd not been to for ages. The speaker was dreadful but that didn't matter I was with other people and had time out,
Wednesday we did a big food buying sessions
Thurday Mike drive us to see an odd friend and we had lunch out by a canal
Mike took his dad to lookat thr canal boats while my friend and talked,
M did remember my friend, though hadn't known his own grand daughter earlier. Memory is a strange thing,
Mike left last evening to got to see his own family and catch up on a few things. We will have a quiet weeknd M did find travelling very tiring yesterday .he dozed all evening , then in bed eariy last night ,so a few quiet days are needed now. I am trying to make the most of Mikes com anywhere he is here and wishing I could pay him enough so he could stay here and now need another job , but he does . I wish you all calmness.peace and help fto, someone . Warm wishes Irene


Edited by: STITCHINGNAN at: 4/10/2015 (02:10)
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4/9/15 10:03 P

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Lawrence, if you cannot get Allen placed because he won't agree to it can you look into having home healthcare. Services? Or respite services? Your area agency on aging or elder ombudsman should be able to help with that. Ask your doctor for referral information. There are funding sources to help pay for these things. Again, you said he behaves at times like a four year old. How capable is he to make decisions? At some point you. Will need to address the competency issue. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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4/9/15 3:56 P

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Laura, did you ever contact the Ombudsman for PA. and ask " Why not!" ?
It also sounds like your PCP needs to get involved of your behalf. Yet, what I am posting is Kentucky along with HealthCare Insurance from a Nation wide Company. All Federal guidelines are Nation Wide, and many of those guidelines and others go with each individual States own guidelines..

lately I am having feelings that no one other than us, cares about Caregivers!

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/9/15 2:20 P

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Centre Crest is a real honest-to-gosh nursing home with nurses and doctors and health care professionals and physical and occupational therapists. They have an Alzheimer's wing that is kept locked for patients who wander away and get lost. I think, though, that some of the patients with dementia live among the other patients if they don't have a wandering problem.

So there's Allan with 34 ailments, but they think he isn't sick enough to need care, at least right now. No need to take him - he has a caregiver. The fact that the caregiver is burned out and unable to meet the patient's needs means nothing. I asked them, and as I said, they told me No, the caregiver is not part of the situation. The patient calls the shots, and the caregiver has no say in anything.

I feel very abandoned. I'm invisible. I have to do the job, but I don't exist.
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4/9/15 9:38 A

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From what I've been reading about placement in Nursing Homes the government for the last years has felt that it was cheaper to pay for keeping people at Home. Back in the 60s thru the 90s Nursing Home placement was preferred. Answers I'm getting from our Health Insurance keeps coming back to Obama Care. Again its cheaper for the government to care for someone at home. If you have done your Taxes and had Medical Deductions, you can see many of the changes from ObamaCare in the IRS forms.

Laura, Centre Crest may easily be basing there hesitation on those guidelines. However, I agree with Pixie that Allen does fit the criteria for a Skilled Nursing Facility. I do not remember you posting which type of facility Centre Crest was. If they do not have a Skilled Section that maybe why you are not getting an answer. " His care is more than they can provide."

Have a good day and a better day tomorrow. Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/8/15 10:44 P

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A new day tomorrow. We have a doctor appointment with the primary doctor. But I'm not going to get my hopes up. This is a rerun of the things that happened in Ithaca NY. Agencies, agencies, but no help in the end.

We're going down, but nobody can do anything.

I'm dead burned-out of tired.

Enough now! Too much.

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4/8/15 3:08 P

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Well, so much for that.

I am not at all optimistic. Of course we could get lucky, but I don't want to get all hopeful and then be devastated when nothing works out.

The social worker people came. Allan calls the shots entirely. Whether or not I can meet his needs is irrelevant. Allan has the right to determine what happens. I asked, the patient has rights, but does the caregiver have rights? And the answer was No.

This situation has the potential to get very ugly.

If Allan does not want to cooperate, shucks, I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

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4/8/15 11:36 A

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Morning,

About 30 minutes ago I started hearing distant thunder, now it's over head with an occasional flicker of the lights. At present there is no wind, with gray skies ( not green ), this is going to be a loud day today and the rest of the work day.

Laura, I would have to say "Ditto" to your post. I'm more than tired. I'm exhausted and see no let-up only more and more problems adding up and no help. Yet still doing my best to adjust to each day.

Have a good day and a better day tomorrow! Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/8/15 8:18 A

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It's a rainy morning now, and I'm sitting here realizing how horribly NORMAL things are for me. I'm so used to Allan being the way he is, I'm taking it for granted that that's how things are, it's normal for a man to be so impaired, so dirty, so unhealthy, so out of it, so like a not at all bright four year old. It's so normal now to have my own life impaired and restricted because I'm so tired and burned out. It's normal for me to not do all sorts of things because I don't feel good about being away from the house and away from Allan for too much time. It's normal to not be able to go away for a day to see my friends. It's normal to revolve around doctor appointments and illness. It's normal for me to feel that Allan is all-important and that his rights trump everything, while I'm expendable and if I drop dead from stress-induced illness it doesn't matter and nobody cares.

The therapist agreed with me that the focus is on the patient, on the institutions that serve the patient, and how to save the most money, while the caregiver is forgotten and ignored.

My daughter was here yesterday, and she reminded me, Mom, this is NOT NORMAL. Allan is NOT OKAY. He looks awful, worse and worse. He's out of it.

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4/7/15 9:52 P

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Such news, Irene!! Mike is coming!!

Oh wow!! To have Mike help out with our dear Maurice!!

I sure hope this works out for you!!

My daughter did something similar some 11 years ago. She was living in New Hampshire, much farther away, a whole day's drive from here, and I thought she was crazy because she had a good job and a lovely apartment, but she wanted to come home because her Daddy and Allan and I were getting to be old people. (I do remember her lovely apartment in that dear little town, but it was so far away, too hard to just go and visit. If she'd been 80 minutes away it would have been easy, but that all day drive was hard. Still I couldn't understand why she would leave such a nice situation in such a beautiful little town, and such a good job. Well, she felt the need to come back home.)

And she came home, said, "I wanna be with my peeps." Okay, she was concerned that Daddy and Allan and I were getting old, and here she is. And my Old Maid Daughter ended up getting married for the first time shortly before her 50th birthday, so we now also have a super-duper son-in-law. I'm glad she's here. Yes, I'm getting old, and Daddy is a year older than me (we're divorced, but what we did was dump a really bad relationship but keep the people), and Allan is in horrible condition.

I hope Mike's presence is as good for you as daughter Meri's is for me.

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4/7/15 9:24 P

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Pixie, thank you for your kind thoughts. Pretty soon I'm going upstairs to bed and bring the day to an end. And tomorrow I am going to do a bit of cleaning up, since I'm having Official Guests. At this point the kitchen is pretty clean. And I'll get the recycling out of the hallway.

But Allan's room is awful. He's so dirty. I brought the vacuum cleaner in, and tomorrow I will do some picking up in there.

On the one hand I don't want to give the social workers the wrong impression, that everything is spic and span and tidy and totally under control, because it's not. On the other hand, things are a mess here, and that's one of the reasons we need help.

So a partial cleaning and tidying. I'm so tired. I went to therapy today. I told the therapist what was happening. I told him I'm so tired, so tired. He understood being so deeply tired there's no rest for it...

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4/7/15 7:05 P

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I will be praying for you and Allen.

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4/7/15 6:42 P

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News here. If things work out it's good news. If things don't work out it's bad news. Tomorrow at 2 PM a couple of social worker types will be coming over to assess us in order to make the determination if Allan can get into Centre Crest.

I'm afraid to be hopeful. I don't want to be utterly crushed if they say No.

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4/7/15 1:39 P

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emoticon Been thinking of getting back into one of my two hobbies I did prior to the last 8 months. When I was attempting to start the seasonal clothing exchange I found in my closet about ten knitting kits that I had put there after Bob was diagnosed with Cancer. Looked through them found one that my granddaughter would like. While reading the instructions and completing requests from hubby, I realized that finishing those instruction alone took me 2 hours. That in itself raised the question of how many times in a half hour would I stop knitting and once returning would find myself lost and rejecting knitting. That presented a challenge that I was not sure I wanted to attempt on a daily basis. As the same problems present themselves with all household chores and there seems to be no 'happy solution'.

Have a good day and a better tomorrow! Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/6/15 10:29 P

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I have to admit! I turned my attention away from caregiving and spent some time on the computer looking into a hobby of mine.

A number of years ago I got interested in growing Venus Fly Traps. Back in the 70's I tried with a plant and promptly killed it because (1) I had no knowledge and didn't know what to do, and (2) there was no Google or computers or internet where I could learn.

But now it's my Unofficial Hobby, and I'm learning via Google and various websites.

I took Allan to the Wound Clinic today. And I fed him as well as I could. But this evening I spent time on the internet learning more about the Venus Flytrap Plant that I've gotten to survive the winter, and I've learned some new things.

Something other than ongoing daily nonstop caregiving please! This silly plant that has come out of its winter hibernation and is now greening and growing again! Caregiving directed to a plant rather than a human bean!!

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4/5/15 2:51 A

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Hello on .easter Sunday , a quiet weekend for us But am preparing out small room for a guest ! Our son Mike is coming to stay part time. He is a single dad with grown up family. Lives about an 80 min drive away. He's out of work at the mekment so we have worked a plan out.
He will come to stay here Mon to Friday to help me look after his dad. We get on well and he's good company. He's been concerned for me for a long time. He will go to see his own family at weekends. Of course this could change when he gets a job. But is looking in driving range of here for work .
I am so happy about this ,it's a weight off my mind. I don't mind doing his meals etc. I can get out a bit more too. I am soooo hoping this works,
Our guest room is tiny and needs a lot doing Mike says he will set it up on Tuesday when he moves in. Prayers for it to work out please . Ree

Irene in Nottinghamshire UK
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4/5/15 12:17 A

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Yes, I am a nurse. I care for the residents who live in three group homes in town. The residents all have intellectual disabilities as well as mental illness, or physical disabilities. The work isn't real physically challenging, but I know my services are needed. I do physical assessments on all my people quarterly, and follow up on any nursing concerns, or accident reports that come in. I also write communications to help the staff in the homes to follow up on treatments that need to be done, or medications that need to be given. I get a lot of silly reports that I have to follow up on, like so and so has a potential injury from a fall. So if I get a report I have to assess. Most times there is no mark, or bruise. Or I have some people with chronic problems. Every week I get medical concern reports about the problem. What the staff wants is a magic pill to make everything better, but chronic problems don't get better. They would love it if I would send these people to the doctor everytime they have a problem so it could be "fixed". But one of my jobs is to be a gatekeeper. I don't send them to the doctor unless they really need to go. I am glad I have the background and experience to know the difference between a chronic problem and something that needs to be seen. When I first started the supervisors in the homes were always trying to do end runs around me and going over my head to my supervisor, or the department supervisor if they didn't like my decisions. But we have a good working relationship now.

Edited by: PIXIEBURDS at: 4/5/2015 (00:21)
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4/4/15 11:33 P

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NCAA tournament over for Kentucky, this year, next year will tell the story. emoticon

Pixie, I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the weekends and being on call. I found myself home more during the week (at night) than on the weekends. I will say though salary wise, the pay was much better than CCU was at the acute hospital.

Laura, any good news from Centre Crest?

Have a good night and a better Easter! Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/4/15 8:49 P

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I made my go-to default dinner for Allan, and then I made my own. I ate lots, and have only a small portion of leftovers for tomorrow.

Group homes? Now, I know you're a nurse. Do you work in a group home, or a group of group homes? It sounds like you are having a busy weekend.

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4/4/15 5:14 P

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I hope the recipe went well for you Laurance. I hate when I am getting stuff together for a recipe and I am short on one stupid item. Seems like it is always something you usually have on hand too. Or it is some oddball spice like turmeric. Who uses turmeric?

Dick is back home now. I texted all his sons and relatives, and one son called and they talked for quite awhile. I was late getting there to pick him up. I had said 10:00, and he thought it would be 8:00, so he was pretty antsy. Then mom piddled around so long coming out to eat breakfast that I didn't get there till 11:30. But he is home now, and happy puttering around in the kitchen and porch were he does his recycling.

I am on call this weekend. So far I have had 8 calls and had to go assess a staff who was injured in a behavior incident. Hope the rest of the weekend is quiet in the group homes.

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4/4/15 4:39 P

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Oh phooey!! No tomatoes!! I got to the Spark Recipe and went to the pantry to assemble the ingredients, and no tomatoes! I am NOT going to drive all the way to Walmart just to get a can of tomatoes. They carry tomatoes without added salt. I could go to the Dollar General, which is close enough, but I don't want tomatoes with added salt.

All right. Gotta change plans. I have another recipe he likes and that is easy, and for which I have all the ingredients.

And then I will go to work on my own dinner, for which I do have what I need. I get to hog it all to myself. It has more sodium than Allan should have, and it's full of hot peppers, which Allan can no longer tolerate. He used to really like hot peppers, but now he can't eat them.

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4/4/15 4:24 P

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Nothing to report one way or another. The kitchen table is a mess with papers piled up. So I will go now and start working on cleaning up the papers for a little while, then make Allan his dinner. I can't eat much of the stuff Allan wants, which is fish and seafood. I can't eat any of that at all. Usually I'm tired and burned out after cooking specialty food for Allan, so I don't make anything for myself. Instead I graze on crackers or nuts or who knows what. I'm not eating right at all.

But tonight I'd like to cook something for myself. So I will take Allan's dinner up to him, and then make something I like for Me.

Allan likes to eat in his room. He likes for me to bring his dinner up to him. We don't sit at the table and eat together, and at this point I don't care. I prefer, actually, to be left alone and not have to struggle to make two separate dinners at the same time.

Although Allan and I do love each other very much, the reality is that this isn't a healthy relationship. Not that it ever was, really. It's always been problematic. The nature of the problems changes over time.

Now I'm going to Spark Recipes and get the shrimp recipe and get going in the kitchen.
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4/4/15 12:58 P

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Rain stopped last night and rain will be around all week. Temps to remain in the mid-50s.
Rain I can handle, least its not Snow!

Good luck with home care. I'm still trying to get family involvement around here. Bob is starting to have a few days that he is fine by himself followed by days when he can not be left along. I'm hoping those good days continue to get longer with each week.

As with you, Easter seems only to be another weekend. The meaning of Easter is still with us, and will always be. Enjoy the weekend! Michele

Michele - Northern Kentucky


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4/4/15 2:09 A

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Easter weekend, do holidays mean anything now? Just another weekend here. It's early morning. . I notice M is more confused in a morning ,I need to remind him what his routine is and steer him round .
Him going to day care didn't work .i told him I still needed to go out , I took him with me this week to a girl friends lunch. They were ok about it and he enjoyed it but it means I can't relax, so am looking at getting home carers.
I am ok plodding I'm, Haooy .easter to all, Ree

Irene in Nottinghamshire UK
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4/2/15 11:01 P

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Quiet day was spent here. Bob was up late last night till 3 in the morning and has slept a good 16-18 hours. He has been up since 7 this evening therefore, it will be 3 a.m. once again. He was more active than usual Monday and Tuesday plus doing for him. Wednesday and today, seems he has forgot how to do things or move. One thing he has not forgotten is how tot bark out depends. So today when he slept, I slept!

Have a good night and a better day tomorrow. Michele



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