Exactly how I feel is I have been her Mother for 52 years and now she is helping me instead of me taking care of her and it makes me feel guilty needing her help. I guess all of us feel this way when it happens to us and maybe our partners or husbands or wifes who have dementia/alzeimer's feel that way with us taking care of them. As they say getting older isn't for sissys but we keep fighting to stay healthy and be able to take care of them. Sometimes I guess we need a little help doing that.
I hope you are having a good day and doing whatever you can to take care of you too. It is necessary so we can take care of our loved ones.
Pounds lost: 11.8
Fitness Minutes: (49,666) Posts: 3,489 3/21/14 7:44 P
Hello, Pris...my partner has early dementia. We don't know if it's Alzheimer's or not. A neurologist (in whom we don't have much confidence) said that it's vascular dementia.
I can sure identify with your issue with your daughter helping you. My daughter helps me out, and I feel foolish, like I'm the mother and I'm supposed to be the one who is doing the doing. Yes, it's hard to switch roles and be the receiver instead of the giver.
current weight: 145.0
Fitness Minutes: (1,632) Posts: 39 3/21/14 5:07 P
I too am Caregiver for my spouse of 53 years. His name is John he will be 77 tomorrow and I am 72. He has dementia and is getting much worse now. Now our daughter is making me feel guilty (Not her, but I am )because I had some health problems and still am recovering where I was in the hospital and she is cooking healthy meals several times a week for us so we can just warm them up in between but have several choices at a time. She wants to make us healthier, but I worry about her having to do it, but yet I know I did it for my parents and mother in law so guess I have to learn to take help as well as give it :)
I want to be as healthy as I can and enjoy life no matter what life throws at me and so I am in TOPS and have lost 18 pounds now. I had to put my Curves membership on hold for awhile on oxygen after a bad COPD episode but hoping to get off it again like last time. I walk but now as long as I would like to be able to at a time, but hey any amount helps right? I am a positive person in spite of all of this, but admit my husband not being able to carry on much of a conversation and asking what every time he hears a noise or I talk to our dog :) anymore is depressing when we are at the house together so much. Our son in law took him out yesterday for a few hours a drive and looking through home supply place so I put on a 3.5 hour tank and went out and stayed out for most of it running errands and getting the dog groomed and my allergy shot which is walking to get there at our hospital outpatient clinic so got in some walking and some running around on a sunny and warmer day which perked me up immensely. Love those sunny warmer days to walk or sit out for awhile. Anyone else with a hubby with dementia???
Edited by: PRIS421 at: 3/21/2014 (17:11)
Pounds lost: 11.8
Fitness Minutes: (21,117) Posts: 3,359 12/5/13 12:27 P
I too am caregiver to my spouse. He just returned home after 17 months away due to a brain injury and rehab. He also has the beginning stages of dementia.
So sorry to hear the original posters spouse declined while they were away. I definitely agree with the other posters that this sort of thing happens whether we are there 24/7 or not. The last 17 months have definitely taught me that a bedside vigil doesn't heal either of us.
Looking forward to getting to know the rest of the group here. Will be online infrequently depending on his care needs.
Onward & Downward! Susan
Susan-- in Metro Detroit, Michigan
Co-Leader-- 100 Days of Weight Loss by Linda Spangle team Small bite-sized daily motivation lessons from Linda Spangle to help you succeed with any weight loss plan and help overcome emotional eating.
I need to pay attention to this thread on this Team. My Sweetie has vascular dementia. Whether or not there is also Alzheimer's I have no clue. But the behavior is there. Same questions over and over. I have to do all the remembering and keeping track of things. It's still in the early stages. But I'm burning out.
It it is indeed alzheimer's. then it would have happened with you there or not. That is the nature of progressive disease. If constant attendance could prevent the progress of alzheimer's, then Ronald Reagan's alzheimer's would have been stopped in its tracks. It is unfortunate that it happened while you were away,but the two have nothing to do with each other.
Nell Reston, Virginia
No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.
After taking care of her for eight years straight, with a diagnosis of MS, Lyme Disease of the Brain and Dementia I decided to take a couple of days away. I went to Florida had the best time. Nancy was in a Respite bed at a local Nursing Home. Before I left she could talk, feed herself and do simple things. Upon my return she is in full blown Alzheimer's. She just is gone, I blame myself for leaving her for five days. Journeywomyn
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