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TAILLESS's Photo TAILLESS SparkPoints: (5,012)
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7/7/11 6:43 A

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ooooops sorry i forgot - happy late 4th July!

Deb
Victoria, Australia
You go girlfriend


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SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
7/3/11 10:13 P

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Thanks Chris for the encouragement!! We drove over today and checked out the work and the house and all is coming along just great!! We move in two weeks or the 18th......and unload the 19th, or the movers do. We got to see the kids and pick out towel racks and all kinds of stuff the house needs.........I love the color of the paints I chose and praise so for that as it is on there now. Soon the carpet will go down after carpenter work done.

Has anyone heard from Schatzy25? I have been praying they can help her husband to eat and gain back his weight and strength and help her with the kids and housework. No news.

Gorgeous here on the Oregon Coast and fireworks tonight at the mill casino over the river and then tomorrow night over the bay by the city. Hope the fog does not come in.

Happy 4th of July to all of you!! We are packing most of the time. Books to clean next.

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RHALES199's Photo RHALES199 SparkPoints: (27,195)
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7/3/11 8:04 P

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How are things going, Schatzy?

Teams I am on:

Boise Sparks
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Caregivers support (leader)
Celiac & Gluten Free
Frucose Intolerance
Leaving 210- ville
LDS Ladies
Love Kids, Just Don't Have Any
One Person, One Dream (pay it Forward)
People w/ Cerebral Palsy
People w/ DIsabilities on Fixed Income
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CTUPTON's Photo CTUPTON SparkPoints: (126,395)
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6/20/11 6:25 A

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Those social contacts are the best medicine! You can chat and forget the day to day frustrations for awhile. Sorry your move is stagnated like this and the resulting added chores and paperwork suck! Why or why can't things go smoothly? the new house will happen and you will soon forget this stuff. My move was horrendous and I am now comfortable in a nice (easy to care for) condo. I know lots of "flies in the ointment" tings happened but I have forgotten them now. This too shall pass. At least you will have conversation items for years to come. emoticon


Chris

GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight. HOW? By not eating added sugar, using Omega3s, base meals on veggies, water aerobics at least 3X week and using NuStep when I can't get to the pool.

CAREGIVER SUPPORT PLEASE SEE THESE LINKS:
www.caring.com/
www.agingcare.com/

30 lbs. gone. Now to work on the next 10 lbs.


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SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/19/11 11:27 P

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HUD messed up again with the paperwork and did not pay some back bills on the place we have paid for and so escrow still has not gone through and now we have to go and sign a million more papers tomorrow if we still want the house........duh, I have a contractor and 6 workers and carpet on the way..........YES, I want the house............sooner than later.

My Ortho Dr. got the wrong shot so I did not get a shot in my sore knee and I await for the 29th to get it.........and so am living on pain pills and Tylenol Arthritis......I hate to ask what else could go wrong.......I might find out.

Took hubby out for Father's Day and his favorite Prime Rib and we had a relaxing time by taking a couple of my girl friends along.....so he has a harem and I get to have fun chatting.

Praises school will be out soon and you can have your space and freedom and life back!!

My church study group gave me a going away party and I think it will be awhile but we had over 30 there and so a lot of good visiting done and foods that belong on someone else's hips........but such fun and they are such a blessing to me!!

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CTUPTON's Photo CTUPTON SparkPoints: (126,395)
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6/19/11 6:50 P

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Our weather was beautiful today, too! I am sorry to say I had to stay indoors in my classroom to do my grades. I am done! It took me hours. I can't seem to get them put in right away. Our administrators think we should be lecturing to students all the time. If we are not doing that they think we are loafing! they peak in the classroom open doors regularly. Doctors and counselors take the time to make notes but we teachers are not allowed to do that within the class period time. It is ridiculous. Then the next class comes in and recording grades in the computer goes out of my head! Sorry to complain. : ( I will be off from school by Friday afternoon. Yippee!!!!!!! emoticon

Edited by: CTUPTON at: 6/19/2011 (18:50)
GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight. HOW? By not eating added sugar, using Omega3s, base meals on veggies, water aerobics at least 3X week and using NuStep when I can't get to the pool.

CAREGIVER SUPPORT PLEASE SEE THESE LINKS:
www.caring.com/
www.agingcare.com/

30 lbs. gone. Now to work on the next 10 lbs.


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SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/15/11 9:45 A

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I looked up MRSA on www.webmd.com and it explains it very well. It is a staph infection that is tougher to treat because it is resistant to most antibiotics. It seems to be pretty deadly to those with weak immune systems. They have been fighting it for fifty years and it just continues to get stronger and harder to kill. I am sure someone from the medical field can explain it to us better than what I read. Hospital patients are exposed to it the most.

Today I have another SYNVISC-ONE shot in my left knee to put that gel back in there between the bones and keep the pain away for a few more months. I am delaying a knee replacement for as long as I can. When we get moved and settled, then I will have our daughter and her family around to help me after surgery or may go into a rehab place to get physical therapy and get strong enough to walk on it.

Escrow is still not done........so we wait for keys and our contractor and workers wait also. I am going through dressers and cupboards and getting rid of everything we do not use. I will pack as soon as I have the keys. We should be moved by June 30th.

Gorgeous sunny day here on the Oregon Coast and today is the Farmer's Market. I can't wait to go down and get fresh veggies and fruits and breads! Make it a day of blessings!



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TAILLESS's Photo TAILLESS SparkPoints: (5,012)
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6/15/11 9:07 A

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Whats MRSA?

I cared for my (late) DH when my 2 kids were just that - kids - DD was only 7 when he passed. We knew he was sick but we never gave up hope. Just took each day at a time and made the most of things, since then i've had to care for my Mum as she suffered dementia in her last years and also nurse DD through a major issue. None of its easy, we all know that, thats why we're here. What do they say? what doesn't kill us makes us stronger? good luck and hugs to all

Deb
Victoria, Australia
You go girlfriend


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SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/12/11 7:19 P

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Hi Chris,
I am so sorry about your friend's son! We lost our son to bone cancer and he fought a good fight for 20 months. The loss of a child either breaks you or makes you stronger. We were told that 85% of marriages break up over the loss of a child. We were determined to stay married and to raise our daughter, who was 14 at the time. She is 46 now.

I keep reading about MRSA and how so many people die from getting it in the hospital when they go in sick........I pray they can learn to cure it and save these folks. It makes you wonder which is worse, the hospital or the disease or surgery! Can she catch it or is it just the patient with the infection?

Thanks for praying for all of us caregivers; we sure need it. We lose control of our lives and our families have to make do half the time while we are busy taking care of our sick member.. I have learned that I have to let go of a lot of things and just let God do it His way. He lets me have my way as long as I want it, so I keep praying I will learn my lessons faster!!

Are you ready to pack the trailer and hit the road come the 24th? I pray you have a great time and I wish you could stay longer and just unwind after a rough year at school and home.

Marianne

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CTUPTON's Photo CTUPTON SparkPoints: (126,395)
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6/12/11 6:53 P

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I just told a friend of mine maybe it is time for us to pray to "accept" her son's condition. Her son (16) had brain surgery but then caught MRSA in the hospital. It is heartbreaking. She is a classroom aide and I see her at the end of the day with 3 developmentally disabled deaf high school girls. She says she has to continue working for the health insurance. She is actually living in a room near her son's hospital room. She comes in exhausted everyday.

So, I am praying and praying for sick people and their caregivers. emoticon


Chris

GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight. HOW? By not eating added sugar, using Omega3s, base meals on veggies, water aerobics at least 3X week and using NuStep when I can't get to the pool.

CAREGIVER SUPPORT PLEASE SEE THESE LINKS:
www.caring.com/
www.agingcare.com/

30 lbs. gone. Now to work on the next 10 lbs.


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SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/12/11 10:05 A

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I get the feeling you'd like us all to butt out and let you flounder, doing it your way. We have all been in your shoes in one way or another and that is why we have advice and prayer for you and your family. We are sole caregivers too. We fight lonliness, depression, have pity parties and beg for help and relief too. We can leave you alone if that is what you want.

How old are the children? I am sure one can take care of the dog and one can take care of the cat. Everyone can learn to clean their room and help dust, wash dishes or load the dishwasher. My kids started at age 3 and loved being important enough to do chores.

Have you contacted RSVP, Sr. Services, Sr. Center, a church or Home Health and asked for a volunteer to come and give you time to go shop and to nap? Why can't DH stay home alone if he is just sleeping and watching tv? Get him a Medic Alert necklace or bracelet that he can push if he has an emergency. He can dial 911 if he needs to.

You have been working on the VA papers since June 3rd as per your notes on here. Get up an hour early each day and get them done. It is urgent that they are ready for your appt. on Wed. It sounds like he is wasting away and needs to be admitted and given 24/7 care.

When our 16 year old son was dying of bone cancer, I did not care what he ate as long as he ate. Who cares if they eat healthy? Calories are calories and staying alive is all that counts right now.

Is it reasonable to plan on DH returning to normal and taking over some of the responsibilities and to take care of the kids? I have had that dream for almost ten years and I know it is not going to happen here. I am the court appointed Conservator and Guardian of my husband of fifty years and I know I am "IT". If it is going to get done, I am going to do it or hire it done.

This Caregiver Group has given me so much good support and prayer that I cannot thank them enough!! I am sorry if we are failing you. I appologize for stepping on your toes.



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SCHATZY25's Photo SCHATZY25 Posts: 1,057
6/11/11 3:36 P

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I am the sole caregiver to DH. Taking care of the kids, the dog, the cat and the house, appointments here and there everything.

I never have a day off. DH is not in respite. But I am working on it. there needs to be paperwork filed first and I am in the middle of it. Can't devote too much time on that to get it done because everyone needs me.

Dropped off my kids at the pool for the day just to get a call to come back and pick up our youngest. She wasn't old enough to be in the company of her siblings. I was in the middle of shopping when I got this call. Had to rush to get to her so I left most of the groceries behind. DH was home alone and I did not feel well to leave him home alone for too much longer. I also couldn't stay with my kids at the pool. DH can't go and sit because he can't tolerate the extreme heat anymore.

Gotta clean house because it won't get done on it's own.

I would love to have DH back to normal (healthy and taking some of the responsibilities from me, being there for the kids etc) .....

Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

TAILLESS's Photo TAILLESS SparkPoints: (5,012)
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6/11/11 6:20 A

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hi shatzy hope things are looking up a bit for you today. We're having a long weekend this weekend for Queens Birthday, mine being extra long cos i've got an RDO Tuesday emoticon
how cool is that. I like day's off! hope you're able to find some time for yourself - a day off while your DH is in respite or something? take care and if you need us just chat emoticon

Deb
Victoria, Australia
You go girlfriend


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SCHATZY25's Photo SCHATZY25 Posts: 1,057
6/11/11 12:18 A

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Thanks,TAILLESS, for the hug.

Had to reschedule because DH was sick. We have the appointment now on Wednesday. Had a call today from someone at the VA. Found out it can take between 6 to 1 months to get funds from the VA. Luckily I paid off all credit cards and pt some money away to help pay for bills.

It will be alot of paperwork to do that day, not looking forward to that. They will not get him any help until the paperwork is filed and he is enrolled. Even then I can't get any respite care until they determine that a stroke is a condition that qualifies me to get support.... But someone is working on that for me.

A feeding tube is not the end of the world but if DH doesn't want that then I can't do anything about it. I don't want him to rip it out.

The kids are acting out, I have been giving them more freedom and let them hang out more with friends after school (our counselor told me it would be beneficial for the kids health). That one has back fired big time. So it's off for the moment. That is stressing me out on top of DH's situation.

We have 3 counselors now and two off them are on vacation the next few weeks. DH will continue to go with me to counseling if it doesn't interfere with his therapy.

DH is hungry and would love to eat but he just can't get himself to eat healthy food.

Since DH has been sick I haven't slept much at night or during the day. Tonight I fell asleep during family movie night and hen again when we watched TV. Forgot to pick up my oldest from a friends house until she called. Same happened yesterday when I was supposed to pick her up at the movie theater...

Going to bed now. Luckily, or unluckily (depends on how you look at it), the kids are home from school now and i don't have to wake them up at 5:30 am....

Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/10/11 10:26 A

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How did your trip to the VA go with your DH? I know you were working on the paperwork and that he is a Veteran.

You have been given a lot of good advice on this site and all of us are praying that you will get the help you need.

Please put your children first and get yourself healthy.

A stomach tube is not the end of the world and you can do it and keep him alive. If not, call 911 and turn him over to the VA to heal. He sounds like he belongs in a facility that can give him 24/7 care while you get rested and counseling for you and the children.

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TAILLESS's Photo TAILLESS SparkPoints: (5,012)
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6/8/11 8:59 A

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Hugs to you from Aussie emoticon

Deb
Victoria, Australia
You go girlfriend


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SCHATZY25's Photo SCHATZY25 Posts: 1,057
6/6/11 1:00 P

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Thanks for your reply.

DH was not suicidal at the time and has not spoken of it anymore. I know he has not realized what having a stroke really means and the limitations he has. His family has told him that he will be better if he just believes he is. They also told him he would be better in the new year, which has come and is almost over again.
Our oldest told him yesterday that if he doesn't wan to eat and take his meds he will be put into a nursing home. he just looked at her and got all quiet. didn't want to do anything at all for a while. Just stared in front of him. After he snapped out of it he was trying to talk to us and hang out with us when we BBQ. He didn't eat anything but he sat with us. I know he was upset with our daughter but I already had told him the same thing.

I am trying to get him help. I took him with me to counseling twice, he went with me and our oldest daughter to counseling twice. That is how we found out he has an Adjustment disorder.
I am hoping to sign him up for his own counseling sessions.

I have not contacted DH's family, they are no help and just blame me for everything that is going on. Had it before. I don't need that right now. They are making things worse than better.



Edited by: SCHATZY25 at: 6/7/2011 (00:06)
Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/6/11 9:40 A

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I do not understand how they could send him home if you told them about his depression and suicidal attitude. Hospitals have mental health wards and could have kept him until the VA hospital could take him. The physical tests may be normal but mentally he is not normal and needs a lot of help.

He is destroying your family. The children are falling apart just like you are and all of you need counseling. I do not think any of you can heal if he is home. Home Health cannot help his mental state. He needs professional help for a long time and not just one visit. I would not take him home until he is physically and mentally sound.

You have tried to take care of him at home and it has not worked. It is not your fault.

Strokes do a lot of brain damage and physical damage and since my DH had his, he is very unreasonable and has a lot of anger and rage. When he scares me or puts the fear of God in me, I call 911 and they put him in the mental health ward for a week with heavy counseling and meds. He will go to an Adult Foster Home if he cannot control his rages. I cannot live in fear and I refuse to grow old (I am 69) full of stress and panic.

Your responsibility right now is raising the three children in a mentally stable home where they feel safe and can be kids. They depend on you to be strong and healthy. You need to get your oldest child in summer school and help her catch up to her grade level. It sounds like she is taking the brunt of DH's anger and should not have this responsibility.

This is not about what DH wants but what is best for him and for your whole family.

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SCHATZY25's Photo SCHATZY25 Posts: 1,057
6/5/11 10:59 P

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Thank you all for your support.

I have been to the ER last weekend because DH had stomach pain, was nauseous, dehydrated etc. They hung 3 bags for him to be hydrated enough to go home. They couldn't keep him and I can' send him to be admitted because all tests come back normal, nothing they see on the x-rays, CT scans, blood work, ultrasounds, stomach tube etc.

He just loses weight like crazy ad can't eat/look at food without getting really nauseous.

DH doesn't want a stomach tube and he is too weak to make it thru a surgery to put one in. I already old him I am not going to deal with that one. I can't.

I can't take DH to the ER every day to get an IV put in. I already go a nasty letter because DH went to the ER to many times last year (stroke, 3 seizures, 5 visits due to stomach pain they couldn't figure out until it was almost too late (gallbladder)). It takes 6+ hours to leave there again. I need to be with my kids too. They are getting messed up more and more every day by seeing their Dad this way.

I heard that the VA can' do anything yet until they received some kinda paperwork from DH. We are having an appointment in 2 days. Hopefully things will be better then with the services I need. DH's doctor also sent an request for home health care for DH. SO maybe if we get approved someone will come to our home and help me take care of DH. Maybe they will be able to get DH to eat and drink.

DH is not in a good mood. Yelled at the kids already especially when our oldest, who had problems in school (bullying), told us she may have to repeat her grade due to the fact she missed so much school an our situation at home. DH blames me for that since I am not taking care of the kids, the house.....

I am just so tired. Don't know how long I can make it......

Edited to add I WILL NOT do harm to myself, just thinking about running away for 5 minutes...

Edited by: SCHATZY25 at: 6/5/2011 (23:00)
Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

CTUPTON's Photo CTUPTON SparkPoints: (126,395)
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6/5/11 5:31 P

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SCHATZY25 Your husband's condition is a medical emergency. There is no doubt about it. I am sure you feel totally alone. There is help available. Do you have 911 ?
I often call it for my husband since his stroke. And I called it when he was suicidal even before his stroke. I worked on the local ambulance and I know they want to help.

I have been in your shoes-almost. My husband had a stroke 5 years ago. He became suicidal or at least uttered those words. Because I am in a school, I know the law. If a student utters those words we must act on them. We must tell the proper people and take action. Once someone utters it, they are in great danger of acting on it.

Please, please take some action. Get the ball rolling. The hospital can handle your husband's needs. They can keep him from ripping out tubes. they can give him an IV for dehydration. I have seen dehydration change people's thoughts. When rehydrated they are amazingly better. I was an EMT on an ambulance. That is were I witnesses that.

I have looked at your sparkpage in the past and maybe even wrote to you. Since it is set to private, I have not actually been much in contact with you. I feel bad about that.

Your doctor said they can't now put in a stomach tube, but they can put in an IV--the certified EMT's can do that even before he goes to the hospital.



GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight. HOW? By not eating added sugar, using Omega3s, base meals on veggies, water aerobics at least 3X week and using NuStep when I can't get to the pool.

CAREGIVER SUPPORT PLEASE SEE THESE LINKS:
www.caring.com/
www.agingcare.com/

30 lbs. gone. Now to work on the next 10 lbs.


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IZONPRIZE's Photo IZONPRIZE SparkPoints: (19,328)
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6/5/11 8:25 A

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Because of my own caregiver situation and other necessary involvements, I have been an MIA team member. I agree with all the amazing advice given to you about your DH. You need to make sure you are taken care of and don't mentally crash. My dad's story is the same as your DH....VA....suicidal words, actions, selfishness, false thinking (his dad also died in his 40's as did some brothers). When he lived to be 79 (he will be 80 in July), I think it has surprised him greatly. He has lived because God wanted him to live. What a sad, sad way to live. It is that your DH has believed a huge lie. Counselors can help him. PLEASE call VA and get them to come pick him up today. If you squeak loud enough, they will listen. I know the VA and how it works. It can be a big pain, but they will eventually help you out. They MUST send a patient advocate to help you. They have laws to protect the vets. Even though you are just in paperwork mode, they will help him...I am praying for you today (strength, renewed mind and body, faith and perseverance and supernatural love and compassion); and for your DH to snap out of the selfishness and begin to think about his family first, also for his mind to be renewed with truth and the lies to stop tormenting him. That he will know that his days are numbered, but not by himself. He can live the full number of his days healthy or the full number of his days as he determines and chooses. My heart is going out to you this morning. Don't you give up. Stay strong and stay joyful and remember your children and remember your own life. Your DH is making choices but you don't have to buy into his choices of unhappiness. I know this is hard but with faith and perseverance, you will be an overcomer. Hang in there and don't give up. You can do this. Lord, have mercy and give our friend peace and comfort. emoticon

Keep Your Eyes On the Prize--Phil 3:19

"I make it a rule never to eat off-plan when I am sleeping." LA

"Losing weight is easy. I have done it hundreds of times." LA

"Wallow in self-pity and condemnation or dust yourself off and carry on. Either way, the choice is your own." LA

****************************
My Real Name is Leeanna
Leader: Michael Thurmond 6 Week Body Makeover Team


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SCHATZY25's Photo SCHATZY25 Posts: 1,057
6/4/11 1:11 P

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His doctor already talked about a feeding tube but we agree he is not strong enough to survive a surgery right now. Also he would rip the feeding tube out of his stomach.

We can treat the symptoms but we still have no idea what the cause of this nausea is. Hopefully when we go back to the GI doctor on Wednesday am they have some idea.

Showed DH an a page from Anorexia and told him that is what he has and he somewhat agrees with me. I am hoping that he will give himself a push to start at least drinking again.

Thanks for all your help and advice. Much appreciated!

Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/4/11 12:30 A

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My prayers are with you and I know you are out of rope but the kids need you. Read about Adjustment Disorder on www.webmd.com and call the VA Hospital and have them send an ambulance for your hubby. He is a danger to himself and to you and the children. He needs to be there NOW. Be sure they know what his psych eval says and make sure they get busy helping him come back to reality. They can feed him through a tube and get his meds down him and get him well again. It will take time to fight this depression and mood he is in but he is worth fighting for.

You are crashing and need to get to counseling immediately or call your Pastor or a friend and have someone take the children and let you sleep if you can. I have walked in your shoes and was ready to give up and go to a rubber room to live. I wanted out........I was so sick of being in charge and responsible all the time. They helped me come back to life. The kids need therapy or counseling also. All of you are at risk in this situation.

I care and I want you to survive all of this as a family. There is hope!! Study this disease.

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SCHATZY25's Photo SCHATZY25 Posts: 1,057
6/3/11 11:51 P

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Thanks for the replies and the support.

Wish I could do more to help DH but I am not a doctor. bad thing is they don't even know what is wrong with him. They just send us from one doctor to another for more tests but all come back A Ok.

DH is giving up and I hate to see him this way, I also hate what this is doing to me and the kids. He is not the only one involved in this situation. How can he do this to us?

Today, DH has a nasty sore throat so he can't eat anyways. Doesn't want to drink much either and I noticed that he will be dehydrated very soon.

I am trying to get him to take his meds tonight but I had no luck so far.

As soon as I get the paperwork for the VA done I will have to have him admitted to their hospital. He needs help besides the meds. We had a psych eval done and he has an adjustment disorder (doesn't understand why he had the stroke) with depression.

I hate to be selfish but I don't know how long I can be the positive force in DH's life....

Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

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6/3/11 12:31 P

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Schatzy--{{{hugs}}}
I agree with Maryanne, about talking to his Dr & getting a psych eval done.
And i would also suggest, if possible, trying to find a counselor who is experienced in chronic illnesses, for you/ your husband, and/ or your children to talk to.

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SMILINEYESBLUE's Photo SMILINEYESBLUE Posts: 882
6/3/11 10:27 A

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Dear Schatzy,
My prayers are with you and I pray you do not give up. I'd ask his dr. to send him for a psych evaluation and find out why he is so depressed. Maybe he needs to go to the mental health ward until they can stabilize him mentally. He is suicidal and I think you can call 911 or his dr. and get help immediately. He needs rehab with professionals around him to get his will to live back. Depression is deadly and intervention is needed. Fight to find the doctor that will get some action in place to save his life and your sanity.

You are not having a pity party. You have good reason to be worried and the children really need to get Dad help so that they do not follow in his footsteps when they hit forty. Many peope can't handle birthdays at any age. Do not give up!!

I don't know why he is nauseated but I cannot understand why they can't find a reason for it or an Rx to stop it. I had terrible nausea when I had some shots and they put me on PHENERGAN 25 MG every 6 hours. I lost 15 lbs before the nausea quit in two months. I lived on chicken noodle soup and broth and ginger ale. It took 3 Rx to find one that would stop the nausea enough for me to eat crackers and cheese and salty foods. Nothing else tasted good or stayed down. He can be fed intervenously or with a feeding tube or whatever they have to do to keep him alive til they can get his attention and will to live.

I am not a professional. I am a wife of fifty years and my DH had a stroke almost 10 years ago and he is not the man I married. I have had to do whatever it takes to keep him alive. I am his court appointed Guardian and that gives me more clout with the doctors. I wish I was your neighbor and could come over and give you a break. Call all the services in town until you find someone that will listen. Do you have a Pastor? Attorney? Ask for help.

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SCHATZY25's Photo SCHATZY25 Posts: 1,057
6/3/11 7:26 A

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I am giving up on taking care of DH. He doesn't want to live anymore and no matter what the doctors and I do he doesn't co-operate at all. I am at the end of my hopes and dreams, my patience and my happiness.

DH's father died at an age of 49, his grandpa died at 46. DH will be 42 in 2 weeks. He thinks he has to die in his 40's also. There is nothing I can do anymore. So hard to see DH this way, knowing that I love him so much and hat I want to keep pushing him to get better.

There are no more tests available to find out why he is nauseous all the time and can't eat. He is so weak already, it's interfering with his walk, his speech and comprehension.

The doctor started him on Paxil, hopefully he will continue to take these and not stop like he did with the other meds....

Should I give up on him for sure? I am the only one that takes care of him and makes sure he is as comfortable as he lets me. His family still doesn't care. His Mom hasn't talked to him in months (I am so upset about this). My Mom calls every day to see how DH is doing and she is over 6,000 miles away.

I guess I just feel sorry for myself and the kids. For DH of course too....

Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

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