Oh, Tim, Tim, Tim. There is no horror in "sarcastisizing".
There is a reason that word is not in any of the plebeian dictionaries. Those poor fools think a diphthong (archaically spelled dipthong) is a tiny bikini bottom consisting of floss and no more than 3 square inches of fabric with bikini top that has higher "support" on the sides - then is cut into a deep "V" that is connected by two thin straps (doubled floss) across the bottom so that the interior sides and part of the underside of the breasts show - !\=/!
With that in mind, it becomes necessary to do what one must to properly communicate the meanings that only Sarcastics know (the definition of Sarcastics being a group of people who have in common the love of sarcasm as a perfectly good response to some of the idiots with whom they may be forced to have contact).
Tim Tim Tim. Wasn't that a TV show back in the 50's (if you weren't aware, I'm older than dirt - being around when the only choice was water or rock). Oh, I'm sorry. That was a series about a dog, Rin Tin Tin (nicknamed Rinty?). I am still searching for the definition of Rin and Tin and the significance of the second Tin.
I agree, the sound of the "dun dun, dun dun" corresponding with the beat of your heart is better than a whistle in warning you to get out of the water..
I know that some people are horrified that MTV has changed formats, but I guess that's "progress". At least I can understand most of the words on MTV now and I'm not left with dizziness trying to make sense of the clanging of out of tune guitars combined with a keyboard that has deliberately (and randomly) been tuned so that each key is either a flat or a sharp of the actual note. Finally, the whole thing being driven by a drummer who has NO rhythm and is suffering a hangover that causes his hands to spasm, unlike the recognized best drummer in the world - ever, Buddy Rich, www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq684tmvd1A& fe ature=related
I was cruising around in some off-topic area of the Internet, trying to find anything worth sarcastisizing, when I found one of those entertainment blurbs about MTV launching a new "Horror" series on TV.
After I finished laughing hysterically, I took a deep breath and considered that I could make the entire point of such a stupid series in one, 1 hour Prime Time Special.
I would need the cooperation of a number of studios for clips of their "Great Horror" films, which I think I could get based simply on my title:
THINGS I LEARNED AFTER ONLY ONE TIME WHILE WATCHING HORROR MOVIES
1. Don't go into a basement at night when the power is out and there are "animal-like" noises heard when you open the basement door. If you must, as a minimum, go down with a powerful flashlight and a .45 automatic with at least five clips of ammo with brass shells coated in silver. You MUST have a back-up who is packing heavy - a sawed off shotgun shooting 12 gauge shells packed equally with lead and silver pellets is good for multiple encounters. Adding slivers of Teak wood to subsequent rounds should take care of the rest. 2. Don't take a shower at the Bates Motel without a guard force of at least four Navy Seals. 3. Don't go check out that tall flower that is saying "Feed Me". 4. Don't shoot at giant bugs, snakes or other things with anything less than a .50 caliber rifle. A Holland & Holland .700 Nitro Express is better and shoulder fired missiles are better yet. An Abrams Main Battle Tank firing depleted Uranium rounds is your best choice if you have to stay on the ground. 5. Don't leave a well lighted house to run down a dark and windy lane at night when wolves are howling, especially if you are a pretty girl. 6. Don't park an RV alongside the road at night in Area 49, 50 or 51 - ever! 7. If you hear a chainsaw crank up at an unexpected time or place, don't stop and look, just run! 8. If you see an inexplicable large flight of crows, ravens or other black birds, find the nearest bank, call 911, get inside the vault and close the vault door. 9. Go to the "Trunk or Treat" party sponsored by the "Y' on Halloween. Do not wander the street after dark and don't ask a guy wearing a spooky Halloween mask to share his candy. 10. And finally: if you happen to walk by a steel cage that contains a man who is shackled (hands and feet) to a steel chair that is welded to the floor, and the man looks like a snarling Jack Nicholson, don't stop and try to engage him in a pleasant conversation. It ain't happening!
How long did it take you to read this?
Even with clips added, I rest my case.
"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have." -Ronald Reagan
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