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TIMOTHYNOHE's Photo TIMOTHYNOHE Posts: 4,317
11/27/11 8:02 A

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Here is one I like to use, especially when someone tells me that I need to be "more open minded" about something that is based on fact and they are wrong.

"If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out."


Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you will be doing the impossible -- St Francis of Assisi

Rock 'n' Roll Dublin Half Marathon, Dublin, Ireland, 8/5/2013
ie.competitor.com/dublin/


POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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11/22/11 1:34 A

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Where else but in the world of computers would you shut down your computer with the start button?

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

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TIMOTHYNOHE's Photo TIMOTHYNOHE Posts: 4,317
11/19/11 9:58 P

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The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second rate technology, led them into it in the first place, and continues to do so today. -- Doug Adams (Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy) As quoted in The Guardian (1995), and in "Biting back at Microsoft" (5 June 2001)

Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you will be doing the impossible -- St Francis of Assisi

Rock 'n' Roll Dublin Half Marathon, Dublin, Ireland, 8/5/2013
ie.competitor.com/dublin/


MSRABBIT66's Photo MSRABBIT66 SparkPoints: (1,056)
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11/18/11 11:35 P

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Sarcasm is just telling the truth in a humorous way. :)

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TIMOTHYNOHE's Photo TIMOTHYNOHE Posts: 4,317
11/18/11 10:34 P

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A four year old could understand this report. Go get me a four-year-old, I can't make heads nor tales of it. -- Groucho Marx.

Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you will be doing the impossible -- St Francis of Assisi

Rock 'n' Roll Dublin Half Marathon, Dublin, Ireland, 8/5/2013
ie.competitor.com/dublin/


TIMOTHYNOHE's Photo TIMOTHYNOHE Posts: 4,317
11/17/11 9:13 P

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"There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened." - Mark Twain

Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you will be doing the impossible -- St Francis of Assisi

Rock 'n' Roll Dublin Half Marathon, Dublin, Ireland, 8/5/2013
ie.competitor.com/dublin/


DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (137,236)
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11/3/11 10:01 A

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I don't panic when I get lost. I just change where I want to go.

--Rita Rudner

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HOFMAE's Photo HOFMAE Posts: 2,957
10/31/11 2:23 P

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I love quotes! I have 50+ pages of quotes & one-liners. It's hard to decide which ones are my favorites!

*The beatings will continue until the morale improves.
*Logic doesn't apply to the real world.
*I'm not bitter, just vengeful.
*Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence
*There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.


Liz :)

"This is neither the time nor the place for common sense"

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence"


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ONEPHOENIXTX's Photo ONEPHOENIXTX Posts: 9
10/27/11 9:22 A

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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

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DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (137,236)
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10/11/11 4:04 P

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Actually these would make good Paraprosdokian puzzles

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ROCHELLE62's Photo ROCHELLE62 SparkPoints: (20,898)
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10/11/11 12:02 A

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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FEDGIRL4's Photo FEDGIRL4 Posts: 1,871
10/7/11 10:17 A

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I really really missed you...but my aim is improving.

Life is not waiting for the storms to pass..it's learning to dance in the rain.

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude." - Scott Hamilton

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DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (137,236)
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10/6/11 5:10 P

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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Edited by: DEBBYFROMMT at: 10/6/2011 (19:42)
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MOOKBALL's Photo MOOKBALL SparkPoints: (108,856)
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10/6/11 4:48 P

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Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.



"Every man I meet is in some way my superior, and in that I can learn of him." John Adams Ruth


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2BTHINQUILTER's Photo 2BTHINQUILTER Posts: 1,441
10/6/11 2:34 P

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This car is a toilet and you're the attendant.

Lily Tomlin to Bill Macy in The Late Show.

Visit my blog, Beth Donaldson: Quiltmaker, bethdonaldson.blogspot.com/


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SPARTAN40's Photo SPARTAN40 Posts: 1,876
10/6/11 9:31 A

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Brevity is.

Beth (EST)

"Do or do not. There is no try." ---- Yoda


"Everything in moderation exception Awesome. There can never be too much Awesome."


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10/5/11 10:37 P

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Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

"Every man I meet is in some way my superior, and in that I can learn of him." John Adams Ruth


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POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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10/5/11 6:08 P

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"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."

~Will Rogers

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

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DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (137,236)
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10/5/11 5:18 P

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"I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it."

--Jonathan Winters

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DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (137,236)
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10/5/11 5:16 P

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"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

--Douglas Adams

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