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2/8/11 7:22 A

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Popeye ... as we were saying....... before..... oh yea!



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2/8/11 1:43 A

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Ah, Heidelberg.

Alas, "Graffiti on the walls",
Came to Heidelberg with something to say.
If only, if only, he had the balls,
Alas, poor Heidelberg - He only sprayed the walls.


BFG? When I see your posts, something happens. Something just comes out of me.

I haven't the faintest what it is, but I feel better afterward!

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2/7/11 9:11 P

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who just interrupted us???



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BIGFATGIT's Photo BIGFATGIT Posts: 114
2/7/11 8:29 A

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Ahhhhhh totally forgot about this thread!!

Nice comeback Pop's. Thought the Heidelberg post particularly enlightening, of course during my time there Much time was spent writing Graffiti on the walls

This unfortunate habit of writing on walls i suppose could explain in some way my presence here.


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2/4/11 7:25 P

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You are really cracking me up today with your various posts! You sure they didn't change you meds? emoticon



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2/4/11 12:14 P

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It was the most detailed example of circular logic that I could make on this topic.

What, you expected a James Michener novel?

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
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2/4/11 7:38 A

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my eyes just glazed over..... emoticon



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2/3/11 11:37 P

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If I remember correctly, Heidelberg, Germany had a world famous fencing academy that was generally limited to the "upper crust" and particularly to those male children (seconds or thirds in line for inheritance) who were expected to chose either the clergy or the military as a career.

Career military officers, along with the very few that were promoted from the ranks, also went to this fencing academy. At the highest levels of talent, a fencer could choose to wear the traditional face protector, or not. If one of the fencers chose to NOT wear the face protector, the honorable thing for the other fencer was to remove his headgear, also. However, gracefully declining ("still recovering from an old war wound; I have to check to see if my wife is pregnant", anything except I'm scared spit-less) was technically allowed, what it in fact did was to cripple any sort of military career (Herr Beauregard, your first post is to a supply depot deep in the Black Forest and don't expect a new posting, or promotion, any time soon), unless you really were still recovering from a war wound and were trying to get yourself back to your or military standards.

The purpose of the fencing match was not to kill, but to win by the number of touches scored on your opponent. Some touches were considered "kills". A head touch is a "kill" touch, but one of the dangers of such a touch was that it could blind your opponent (really "bad form").

If a military officer were to be scarred by a face touch, it was considered as evidence the officer had not only great talent, but also the courage to stand in front of bare steel in a fight. (For most people, being confronted by a knife or sword is more chilling than being confronted by someone with a gun. With a gun, your imagination stays basically with the thought that I will be shot and die - a very straightforward sort of thing. Facing a bare knife or sword, however, brings up thoughts of an extended period of pain, serious scarring and dismemberment. All of those things most minds rate as a greater danger than death.)

Additionally, it's easier, psychologically, to block out the humanity of someone you shoot. With a knife or sword, the potential of being killed, or of killing another human face-to-face, goes against the very strong psychological prohibition against killing because of the need to perpetuate the human race with the "best", survival-wise.

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2/3/11 8:18 P

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why do you have better aim in German?



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2/3/11 7:53 P

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That was a serious riposte. I barely escaped receiving my "honorable" dueling scar. Too bad we aren't in Germany.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
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2/3/11 6:52 P

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I will bow to your superior verbosity!



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2/3/11 5:27 P

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Sir or Mister BFG,

Mortgage: A wager made that by paying a higher, artificial rent today one will pay no rent at all at some certain time in the future. The wager assumes larger significance in that you are, at the same time, betting that you will live long enough to have made the wager a winning one.

The odds against one includes one's health at the time the burden of the wager is assumed; actions taken or not taken by unnamed "others" which result in serious injury or death; acts of God, such as being struck by lightning just before the putt that would win the Senior Masters at St. Andrews and various other impediments, anticipated or not - such as the loss of income, that arise immediately at the conclusion of the signing of a contract for the wager in which all the "rules" against one are spelled out in print so small one needs an electron microscope to be able to guess the language in which the contract is written (In "English" speaking countries the words are understood to be "English", but the syntax grammar and tense follow the rules of Latin).

Furthermore, it is encouraged that a paragraph consist of just one sentence, run on or not.

Additionally, many of the sentences refer to a different section of the contract in an obscure way which the sentence claims to be relevant. Each such reference may be no closer than three pages from the referent sentence; necessitating that each such contract have a bare minimum length of seven pages. If such contract is greater than or equal to twenty-one pages, the mortgagor is awarded "points" such that the mortgagor actually hedges his/her end of the wager by collecting guaranteed winnings before the end of the contract period. Such "points" are keep by the mortgagor regardless of whether the contract results in a winning wager by either side, therefore requiring the mortgagee to live a longer, gainfully employed, life to actually recoup the additional amounts paid in artificial rent.

Irregardless of whether one wins the initial wager, the mortgagor is guaranteed a "return" on the wager of a minimum of 300% thus ending, assuming the person or group placing the wager actually wins, in what is euphemistically called a "win-win"

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
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2/3/11 9:03 A

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BFG... no offense taken, we were having some fun on your use of the word. BTW it can also mean the other if you so choose to emoticon



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BIGFATGIT's Photo BIGFATGIT Posts: 114
2/3/11 3:35 A

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BTW Popeye. What's a mortgage? emoticon

Edited by: BIGFATGIT at: 2/3/2011 (03:38)

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BIGFATGIT's Photo BIGFATGIT Posts: 114
2/3/11 3:32 A

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Ahhh Popeye! The cat is well and truly out of the bag now! apparently all the ex colonials are revolting over my use of the "B" word. I sense another tea party due soon! (Suggest somewhere further south than Boston this time .....Far too cold this time of year)

One tends to forget that whilst being bi-lingual myself not all of my readers have the necessary language skills to understand the difference. so at this juncture i shall leave it to wiki to clarify the situation.

"The phrase bugger off (bug off in American English) means to go, or run, away; when used as a command it means "go away" ["get lost" or "leave me alone"] and can be seen to be used in much the same type of relatively softly 'offensive' manner.

"I'm buggered" or "I'll be buggered" is used as a colloquial phrase in the UK (and often in New Zealand and Australia as well) to denote or feign surprise at an unexpected (or possibly unwanted) occurrence. "I'm buggered" can also be used to indicate a state of fatigue. In this latter form it found fame in New Zealand in 1956 through rugby player Peter Jones, who - in a live post-match radio interview - declared himself "absolutely buggered", a turn of phrase considered shocking at the time.

It is famously alleged that the last words of King George V were "Bugger Bognor", in response to a suggestion that he might recover from his illness and visit Bognor Regis. Variations on the phrase bugger it are commonly used to imply frustration, admission of defeat or the sense that something is not worth doing, as in bugger this for a lark or bugger this for a game of soldiers."

I therefore rest my case and will in future bear in mind that this is obviously a mixed language and gender group, and whilst sarcasm and word play usually go hand in hand I will have to be particularly sensitive to the comprehension levels of the readers.

Now where did i put that quote from H. L. Mencken " Nobody Ever..............


K


On a more serious note apologies to anyone offended by use of the "B" word




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2/2/11 4:49 P

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well you have a point there popeye.... i just couldn't get the picture of a helium balloon....somehow ....floating ..... to worry about someone "buggering off"" anywhere but in the privacy of their own home .... what can I say?



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2/2/11 3:36 P

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Unlike Barcle, I was absent the morning of your post (alright, re-read her post).

I had more important things to do then to meditate as to the whereabouts of some "biccie" eater (legally eliminating $60k from my mortgage with the slash of my pen).

"Biccie?" My 14 year-old granddaughter just said (looking over my shoulder), it sounded gross and she wouldn't want to even smell it, much less eat it (snow day today - 12", & she's "hanging" with g-pa & g-ma).

After I picked myself up off the floor (from laughing) and cleaning my face (from the tears) I couldn't break her heart by telling her that her great-great grandpa immigrated from Leeds and that her grandpa was actually very well aware of what a biccie was. While 14 year-old girls can be experts AT sarcasm, understanding it when it originates from someone other than them is often more trouble. Particularly when trying to explain the difference in (the Queen's) English and (American) English and the peculiar idioms generated from each.

Unfortunately, I have to thank you for a very healthy laugh.

BTW, if I were to "bugger off", I'd be much too polite to broadcast it in mixed company.

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2/2/11 10:11 A

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so what you are really saying is that you are a big bag of HOT AIR! emoticon emoticon



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BIGFATGIT's Photo BIGFATGIT Posts: 114
2/2/11 5:55 A

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Chrisi my love! let me once again explain something in words of one syllable so that women can understand!.

1. Helium makes balloons rise more or less regardless of temperature.

2. Hot air makes hot air balloons rise.

3. Not really too sure what happens if you put Helium in a hot air balloon.


btw some days yes i feel like one, particularly when clothes shopping. Why can't i buy anything apart from stuff that used to be large a long time ago?

Lurve ya

K


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2/1/11 7:41 P

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Helium...... what are you a hot air balloon!?



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BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (165,998)
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2/1/11 5:25 P

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I was in mourning of your absence emoticon emoticon

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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BIGFATGIT's Photo BIGFATGIT Posts: 114
2/1/11 1:05 P

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yeah! Weighed in on Sat and decided the scales were "broken" had to wait three days and swallow a lot of helium before i was brave enough to see if they had mended themselves after my choccie biccie binge.


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2/1/11 6:52 A

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Oh.. you finally weighed in .... ! LOL



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BIGFATGIT's Photo BIGFATGIT Posts: 114
2/1/11 3:52 A

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Nah! I didn't forget i figured some of you had though!

Love some of the replies though, figure we have a hard core of about 10 sarcastics here! The rest are just a tad ironic at best, but never mind they make up the numbers.



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1/31/11 9:40 P

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Blackhart LOL!!! I almost spit out my tea! Guess he forgot we are sarcastic people!



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1/31/11 9:20 P

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You're on this team??

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
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1/31/11 7:24 A

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You were gone?!?!?



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SASSYJAY's Photo SASSYJAY SparkPoints: (40,545)
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1/31/11 4:41 A

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I don't have time for this shiite!

There...feel better now?

~Maggie

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BIGFATGIT's Photo BIGFATGIT Posts: 114
1/31/11 4:20 A

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So for the last week I've been very quiet on spark. (It's very hard to type with a mouthful of Choccie bikkies) and look at it!!!! not a post in this so called group since the 25th!!! NO SARCASM? not even the odd snide comment. I would have hoped for better especially from Popeye at least. Anyway having successfully made sure that stretch marks won't be a problem to me at the moment I'm back and active again, Pity me over the weekend, other half away in Lanzarote, you lot half asleep, and people being polite at the golf club!!! had no chance whatsoever to exercise my razor sharp tongue so feeling a bit lost. throw me a bone someone.

Kev


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