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KAYGEEBEE12's Photo KAYGEEBEE12 SparkPoints: (16,853)
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11/12/10 10:45 A

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Very funny Debbie!!!

DEBBIE_J's Photo DEBBIE_J Posts: 966
11/10/10 9:25 P

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Came across this one today. Thought it was funny...

Differences Between Man and Women

Names: If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara. If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out: When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back. When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money: A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.

Bathrooms: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6. The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.

Arguments: Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Future: A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.

Success: A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife. A successful woman is one who can find that a man.

Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Dressing Up: A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural: Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed. Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.

Children: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the Day: Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.


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KAYGEEBEE12's Photo KAYGEEBEE12 SparkPoints: (16,853)
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10/18/10 9:35 P

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I love these two the best:

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?


OREGON_MAMA's Photo OREGON_MAMA Posts: 2,994
10/18/10 6:14 P

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Those were really funny! I like the egg one the best lol

"No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you absolutely, positively do have the power to change."
-Bill Phillips



"You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person
you want to be."
-David Viscott

BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (166,188)
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10/15/10 2:20 A

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emoticon

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (197,746)
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10/14/10 7:31 A

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It should be illegal to laugh so hard at 6 am!



Nothing changes unless something changes.

I am a treasured child of the most High God
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=4459


co leader of Sarcastic Unlimited!


 
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KAYGEEBEE12's Photo KAYGEEBEE12 SparkPoints: (16,853)
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10/14/10 12:07 A

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Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Why aren't you married yet?
Woman: What? And spoil my great sex life?

Man: Why aren't you married yet?
Woman: Why aren't you thin?

Man: Why aren't you married yet?
Woman: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.


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