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8/3/13 10:48 A

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kinda the same thing when I say "and your point is??" LOL



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SILVER_WOLF1221's Photo SILVER_WOLF1221 Posts: 1,286
8/3/13 10:31 A

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Tell my friends or family that something won't work and they do it anyway and end up hurting themselves or breaking something.

"Now....what did we learn?..."

We are our own worst critics, our biggest enemies. Let's show ourselves that we can do anything, even when we are at our lowest point.

~Steph :)


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1/2/13 8:47 P

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But of course they do .......... they got it from US!! ........ emoticon

~Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .... Mother Teresa

~ What I do today shapes my tomorrow. ~I will seize the day~

~To gain friends is to first become a friend~


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1/2/13 8:34 A

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kind of like my comments to my boys when they were growing up and they would ask a stupid question... I would say what did you just ask me? with this incredulous face.... then immediately say think about what you just asked me.... they would then look at me and then say OH ... I'd then say see! they all have a lot of common sense!



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1/1/13 8:52 P

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My "father of the year" comment to my daughter yesterday: "Use your head. It's there for more than just to stem the flow of blood at the top of your neck!"

You Gotta Wanna!


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12/9/12 9:13 P

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I'd be nicer if you were smarter!

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10/31/12 9:09 P

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I think the emoticon and the emoticon are are most used Icons! Still waiting for rolling eyes. wish I could figure out how to get Quebals on here!

us.quebles.com/Hotmail-Tools/Emotico
ns
/Classic/
there are some good ones!



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DISAPPEARING1's Photo DISAPPEARING1 Posts: 2,102
10/31/12 8:08 A

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No point Chris....I just really wanted to use the toilet-con in a sentence since it IS our team mascot!!
emoticon

~~Kelly~~


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10/31/12 8:01 A

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and your point is....???? emoticon



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10/30/12 10:02 P

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Whew...what a bunch of emoticon mouths. lololol

~~Kelly~~


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9/12/12 4:49 P

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You're right ........... some things are just better NOT knowing!! ........... emoticon

~Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .... Mother Teresa

~ What I do today shapes my tomorrow. ~I will seize the day~

~To gain friends is to first become a friend~


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9/11/12 7:41 P

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emoticon emoticon



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9/11/12 10:16 A

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Oh C'mon Chris ................. emoticon

~Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .... Mother Teresa

~ What I do today shapes my tomorrow. ~I will seize the day~

~To gain friends is to first become a friend~


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9/10/12 9:20 P

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Now that is a picture that I did not want in my head! emoticon



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9/10/12 2:09 P

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I'm afraid some would try to stretch over their HEAD!!! .............. (the WRONG head!!) ........ emoticon

~Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .... Mother Teresa

~ What I do today shapes my tomorrow. ~I will seize the day~

~To gain friends is to first become a friend~


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9/9/12 10:11 A

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they should me mandatory for some people.... but I'm afraid they would not know how to use them! emoticon



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9/9/12 1:40 A

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Condoms! Love it!!!! emoticon

If you want to win anything- a race, yourself, your life- you have to go a little berserk. George Sheehan

"You can't cross a sea by merely standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore



1LIFE4ME's Photo 1LIFE4ME Posts: 561
9/9/12 1:11 A

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To the woman I seen in Walmart today with the six screaming kids:
If your wondering how those condoms got in your cart....your welcome! :)

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9/7/12 11:36 P

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isn't it so very tiring??? I'm like OMG how can they possibly be that stupid??



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9/7/12 11:33 P

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after telling a coworker that 1- my system could not process their request and 2- they had to get it approved by person A or B with phone no X and 3- i am not in the same state so i can not personally do the job.

this idiot kept emailing me for a week and got mad at me when the job was not when i gave her 3 options and she refused to follow any of them.

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9/6/12 5:04 P

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Durr!!! ........... where has my head been?? ...... I just saw this thread .......... and there are very hilareous digs here ................ emoticon ........... I have less than one hour to go and I am going to RUN FROM these embiciles!!! ...............

~Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .... Mother Teresa

~ What I do today shapes my tomorrow. ~I will seize the day~

~To gain friends is to first become a friend~


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9/6/12 4:59 P

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I usually come up with the same deduction when some A$$ says: "All things happen for a reason." .................
(my deduction: It is an 'all purpose' cop-out' for NOT 'thinking' about the situation ..........
like ............. why did Uncle Fred get lung cancer?" .........
A........... well there was a reason for this ........ ya know ......... the 'all things happen rule'

Really DunceCap? ........ You don't think the fact that Uncle Fred SMOKED for 40 years hd something to do with it?? " ................. emoticon

(Like WHY were we given CHOICES if there is some God awful outcome!!? .........

Edited by: 2BDYNAMIC at: 9/6/2012 (17:00)
~Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .... Mother Teresa

~ What I do today shapes my tomorrow. ~I will seize the day~

~To gain friends is to first become a friend~


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1LIFE4ME's Photo 1LIFE4ME Posts: 561
9/5/12 2:08 P

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Everything happens for a reason.
But sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.

1LIFE4ME's Photo 1LIFE4ME Posts: 561
9/4/12 12:04 A

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Someone should open a bar called "The Gym"
Then I could be one of those annoying people on Spark
that brags about going there everyday.

HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
5/14/11 8:23 A

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heard x-boss say to an employee"

you dont know what you are doing"

I said 'then why did you hire her"

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5/12/11 8:25 P

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I had a boss one day come up to me with a "mistake" I had made. He was trying to embarrass me (ME?!?!) He said to me you made a mistake, I looked at him and said ok, well fix it. He did nor know what to say either!



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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
5/12/11 8:19 P

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a good remark my sister shared with me.
Her boss walks up to her one day & says;
'Hay, I hate to bother you"
"Then don"t " she replied.

She tell me he gave her a confused look.


Edited by: HAILEYSMEMAW at: 5/12/2011 (20:21)
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5/11/11 7:42 A

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emoticon

there is no place we can hide!



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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
5/10/11 8:53 P

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I use to be a school bus driver.One morning a parent ask if I was the bus driver...
Hello I'm driving the bus...who else would I be.
One mom even told me she didnt like all busdrivers".Thats ok" I tell her."I dont like all parents"
she didnt have much to say to me after that

Edited by: HAILEYSMEMAW at: 5/10/2011 (20:56)
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5/10/11 6:24 P

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Question? Are you open today? Answer No, I just come in on my day off to answer the phones!

So do you work in a Doc's office? I can only imagine the stupid questions!



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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
5/10/11 5:03 P

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Ok-lets get the ball rolling....
Friend tellls me she has to go to doctor she has a headache.
Told her if I had a head like hers & it didnt ache ...thats when I would go see a doctor.
(ok
i'm ready
which of you are gonna gonna say that I must live at the doctors office)

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5/9/11 9:10 P

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wwooo that was pretty good!

Course I can't be expected to carry the water for all of you! I crack myself up all the time all by myself, course it's much more fun to have more people to play with.



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HAILEYSMEMAW's Photo HAILEYSMEMAW Posts: 3,511
5/9/11 9:07 P

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sleep?I thought I slipped in a coma from boredom of this site.

Was that remark sarcastic enough
i'm just kidding you know

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5/5/11 8:53 P

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emoticon

Time to wake up from your long winter sleep everyone....



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3STRIKES Posts: 219
5/5/11 2:51 P

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We just updated our marquis today in honor of Mother's Day:

My mother is a travel agent -- for guilt trips.
emoticon

*~PAM~*

"The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed." *Nicholas deChamfort*
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3/15/11 8:26 P

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for a bunch of sarcastic people you're not very entertaining lately..... are we all sleep deprived, or brain dead? Come on, already!

Edited by: GARDENCHRIS at: 3/15/2011 (20:27)


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3/11/11 1:42 P

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We have used several of these on our marquis at my office. We are known for the stuff we have on our sign. Ppl remember where to find us.
But there are some new ones that I know the boss will luv!!

*~PAM~*

"The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed." *Nicholas deChamfort*
ROSY_TIAMO's Photo ROSY_TIAMO Posts: 2,252
11/12/10 5:24 A

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I have forgotten many things in my lifetime, but NEVER, have I ever forgotten to eat....
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: ROSY_TIAMO at: 11/12/2010 (05:25)
"LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE"

If more people had a sense of humor, the world would be a better place!

We live in the land of the free, only because of the brave.

If you're not willing to stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them! "God Bless America, My Home Sweet Home".


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11/11/10 9:39 P

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I agree Debbie -- same here...

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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,043
11/10/10 9:42 P

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Ha, I never forget to eat! I agree, I hate it when ppl say that.

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
www.flickr.com/photos/blackheart904/

DEBBIE_J's Photo DEBBIE_J Posts: 966
11/10/10 9:41 P

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Skinny people bug me. They say things like, "Sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my keys, my glasses, my address and my mother's maiden name. But I have never forgotten to eat! You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

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10/24/10 2:43 A

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I had someone tell me they wanted to talk to a manager. I wanted to say "Sure you can talk to my supervisor. She has 70 people under her, so she has plenty of free time. She also had no idea how to fix your issue or come up with a solution yhat you will be happy. There is also a 80% chance she will give the issue back to me tomorrow to deal with because she will be stuck "

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10/22/10 12:30 A

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Someone said "i really need to tell you this" i wanted to say "no, you really don't."

another person i wanted to say-"get over it or build a time machine or i will want o kick your ass so hard you may end up in the bast"

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10/16/10 5:34 P

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I have used all of the following (from the lists already provided) at one time or another, often at work. The brackets denote a variation I've used.

Well, this day (date) was a total waste of make-up

Sarcasm is just one of the services we offer

Do I LOOK like a people person?!

Do I LOOK like I'm kidding?

What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.

That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (A village somewhere is missing its idiot)

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?! (weirdo magnet)

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

How about never? Is never good for you?

No I am not asking you to do the same job twice. I want you to do it right this time.


Charlie x
************

Taking it one day at a time
------------------------------------
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's always finished too soon
------------------------------------
Follow me on twitter at twitter.com/chazzyb31
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10/16/10 2:04 P

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my favs --

How about never? Is never good for you?

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.



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ROSY_TIAMO's Photo ROSY_TIAMO Posts: 2,252
10/16/10 6:33 A

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These are HILARIOUS.....but (and I quote), "I'm busy now, can I ignore you some other time?"

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

"LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE"

If more people had a sense of humor, the world would be a better place!

We live in the land of the free, only because of the brave.

If you're not willing to stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them! "God Bless America, My Home Sweet Home".


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10/16/10 1:39 A

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things i can't say at work -

No I am not asking you to do the same job twice. I want you to do it right this time.

i can tell your time is important. that is why you took the time to yell at me for 10 minutes.

of course you make me feel empowered. i am getting high marks in everything but you are taking time to complain about petty stuff because management drove out all the competant people.

of course you can dump more work on me. it is not like i expect you to be competant.

I can't imagine why the customer can't understand or doesn't trust you. You can read scripts so well and that is the same as being able to speak a language, right?

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10/16/10 1:04 A

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That's pretty funny! I'm going to use that 'Ah..I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.'

~~Aussie~~


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10/14/10 12:04 A

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Thank you....thank you....


more:



How about never? Is never good for you?

You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

His teeth are brighter than he is.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

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BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (165,998)
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10/13/10 9:30 P

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These are fantastic!! emoticon

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,043
10/13/10 9:02 P

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Wow, these are good. I'm stealing them to use as facebook comments. lol

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
www.flickr.com/photos/blackheart904/

GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (184,581)
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10/13/10 8:17 P

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LOVE THEM! i SENT THEM TO WORK! LOL



Nothing changes unless something changes.

I am a treasured child of the most High God
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=4459


co leader of Sarcastic Unlimited!


 
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KAYGEEBEE12's Photo KAYGEEBEE12 SparkPoints: (15,297)
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10/13/10 8:10 P

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more:


You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.

I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.

What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.


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GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (184,581)
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10/13/10 8:09 P

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here's another

Do I LOOK like I'm kidding?



Nothing changes unless something changes.

I am a treasured child of the most High God
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=4459


co leader of Sarcastic Unlimited!


 
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KAYGEEBEE12's Photo KAYGEEBEE12 SparkPoints: (15,297)
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10/13/10 8:04 P

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(I edited out the real bad ones.....)

And your cry baby whiny a##ed opinion would be.....?

Do I look like a f###ing people person?

This isn't an office, it's hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Sarcasm is just one of the services we offer.

If I throw a stick will you leave??

YOU!.... Off my planet!

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cats.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Errors have been made, others will be blamed.

Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

Whatever look you were going for, you missed.

Well, this day was a total waste of make-up .

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Are these your eyeballs, I found them in my cleavage.

I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable.

Did I mention that kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

A woman's favorite position is CEO

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Too many freaks not enough circuses.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.

I plead contemporary insanity.

And which dwarf are you?

How do I set the laser printer to stun?


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