I was inspired by the MOVIE QUOTES topic to start a fave tv show quotes topic. What are some of your favorite quotes from tv shows?
I'll start with Dr. Who:
Rose: Doctor, they've got guns.
The Doctor: And I haven't. Which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine!
The Doctor: Oh, I'll think of something.
Mickey: You're just making this up as you go along!
The Doctor: Yep. But I do it brilliantly.
Romana: Newton? who's Newton?
Doctor: Old Isaac? Friend of mine from Earth. Discovered Gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity; I had to give him a bit of a prod.
Romana: what did you do?
Doctor: climbed up a tree.
Doctor: dropped an apple on his head.
Romana: ah, and so he discovered gravity?
Doctor: oh, no, he told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner.
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective.
The Doctor: Well... among other things, I think I invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. D'you know, they'd never even seen a banana before; always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.
Rickston: Who put you in charge? And who the hell are you anyway?
The Doctor: *turns* I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey, the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm nine hundred and three years old and I'm the man whose gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. .. You got a problem with that?
The Doctor: In that case.. Allons'y!
Lucius Caecilius Iucundus : "Who are you?"
The Doctor: "I am... Spartacus."
Donna: "And so am I."
Lucius Caecilius Iucundus : "Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus?"
The Doctor: "Oh, no no no no no, we're not married..."
Lucius Caecilius Iucundus: "Oh, brother and sister? Yes, of course, you look very much alike."
The Doctor and Donna: [Look at each other. Together:] "Really?!"
The Doctor: Gotta dash, things happening. Well, four things. Well, four things and a lizard.
The Doctor: [About Martha] She fancied me.
Donna: Mad Martha that one, blind Martha, [Looks at the Doctor] Charity Martha.
The Doctor: Beyond The Doctor I just don't know who I am. I literally do not know who I am. So I'm gonna test it. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Life and misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A lier? A nervous wreck? Judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob. And how am I going to react when I see this: A great big threatening button. A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstance. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem, cause I really don't know who I am and I don't know where to stop. So when I see a great big threatening button which should never ever ever be pressed, then I just want to do this!
The Doctor: Oh, while we've been chatting away I forgot to tell you: I'm brilliant.
The Doctor: Oh, Lumic, you're a clever man... I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
The Doctor: You two, we're at the end of the universe. Okay?! Right at the edge of knowledge itself! And you're busy... blogging
General Staal: General Staal, of the Tenth Sontaran Fleet. Staal the Undefeated!
The Doctor: Well, that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? "Staal the Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Anymore-But-Never-Mind"?
The Doctor: She's got over 4000 living minds chatting away inside her head, it must be like, being, well, me.
Doctor: It must be awful being a prophet. Waking up every morning, "Is it raining? Yes it is, I said so."
The Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.
The Doctor: My mate Ben, that was a day and a half. I got rope burns off that kite. And then I got soaked. And then I got electrocuted.
The Doctor: Any number that reduces to one when you take the sum of the square of its digits and continue iterating until it yields 1 is a happy number, any number that doesn't, isn't. A happy prime is both happy and prime. NOW TYPE IT IN! [turns] I don't know, talk about dumbing down. Don't they teach recreational mathematics anymore?
D.I. Bishop: Okay, Doctor, tell me everything you know.
Doctor: Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hands around your elbows and make your fingers meet.
Tenth Doctor: [the Fifth Doctor has mistaken the Tenth Doctor for a fan] What do you mean a fan? I'm not just a fan! I'm you.
Fifth Doctor: Okay, you're my biggest fan. Look, it's perfectly understandable. I go zooming around space and time, saving planets, fighting monsters, and being, well, let's face it, pretty sort of marvelous. And naturally, now and then people notice me. Start up their little groups. That L.I.N.D.A. lot! Are you one of them?
[the Tenth Doctor looks sheepish]
Fifth Doctor: How did you get in here? Can't have you lot knowing where I live!
Tenth Doctor: Listen to me. I'm you... I'm you with a new face! Check out this bone structure, Doctor, because one day you're going to be shaving it!
(The Doctor frustrated, kicks the TARDIS consol, goes to sit down)
Mickey: Did that help?
Doctor: (angrily) Yes
Mickey: Did it hurt?
Doctor: (lifting his foot up to cradle it, in pain) Yes...
The Doctor: Call me old fashioned but if you really want peace couldn't you just stop fighting?
General Cobb: Only when we have the source, it will give us the power to erase every stinking Hath from the face of this planet!
Doctor: Hang on, hang on! A second go it was peace in our time now you're talking about genecide!
General Cobb: For us that means the same thing!
The Doctor: Then you need to get a better dictionary. When you do look up genecide and you'll see a little picture of me and the caption will read: OVER MY DEAD BODY!
The Doctor: This is my timey-wimey device. It goes "ding" when there's stuff!
Martha: And those are men dressed as women?
Doctor: London never changes.
Donna: "There's a giant wasp!"
Doctor: "What do you mean a giant wasp?"
Donna: "I mean a WASP that's GIANT!"
The Doctor: [drunkenly, to clockwork robots] Oh-ho-ho-ho! It's *you*! Oh, you're I love you. You know why? Because you're so *thick*! You're Mister Thick Thick Thicketty Thickface from Thicktown, Thickania!
[pause] And so's your Dad!
Plasmavore: "With everyone dead, the Judoon ships will be mine to make my escape!"
Doctor: "Noo, that's wierd! You're talking like you're some sort of alien!"
Plasmavore: "Quite right!"
Plasmavore: "Oh, yes"
Doctor: "You're joshin me!"
Plasmavore: "I am not!"
Doctor: "You're an alien? In a hospital! What, has this place got an E.T. department?"
(The Doctor and Donna go back to the dawn of creation to see the Earth being formed)
Donna: "Puts the wedding into perspective. Lance was right; we’re just… tiny."
The Doctor: "No, but that’s what you do, the human race. Make sense out of chaos. Marking it out with… with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it’s being observed."
The Doctor: Haven't you got a mobile?
Donna: I'm in my wedding dress! it doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting at Chez Alison, the one thing I forgot to say was "Give me pockets!"
Donna: "Santa's a robot!"
The Doctor: So... Physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyysics! Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics... I hope you're getting all this down!
(Evil aliens smack-talk!!!!):
Cyberman: Daleks, be warned; you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is pest control!
Cyberman: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Sec: Four.
Cyberman: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyberman: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!
And now for Captain Jack quotes. He would probably be best described as a pansexual with a very dirty mind...
Sarah Jane: There's three of you?
Rose: Three Doctors?
Cpt. Jack: I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now.
Mickey: That old lady's staring.
Jack : Probably wondering what four people can do in a small box.
Mickey: What are you captain of, the Innuendo Squad?
(why yes... yes he is)
Jack: The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners.
Edited by: OPTIMISSPRIME at: 7/17/2010 (18:39)
"Three weeks ago, if you were to ask me to fight a giant robot, I would have said "no can do". But I did it! Me! I'm still buzzing! Did you see how strong I was? There probably isn't a jar in this world I can't open!" - Ginormica, in Monsters vs Aliens
"Happiness does not come gift-wrapped with your goal weight." - MIGHTYFINEWINE, in her 50 things I've learned blog
| current weight: 150.0