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8/13/10 2:45 P

Cheers. A sicom of almost continuous one-liners.


Diane: He's trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.
Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?

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8/5/10 12:34 A

Hogans heroes-
col crittendons - "i have a photographic memory. my mind is like a camera"
newkirk "yeah, but how are you fixed for film?"

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8/2/10 10:15 P

M*A*S*H writers wrote on at least three levels.

The first time through for any episode, you just sat back and enjoyed the slapstick.

If you were able to catch the same episode a few years later as a re-run, you looked for the simple double entendre which to my humble way of thinking should be defined as a word or expression used in a given context so that it can be misunderstood in two ways, esp. when one meaning is risqué.

The third time through, if you were lucky, you caught all of the totally wacky "What did he say?"

“I'm a life long Anglophile. England is still the only place I know where any young man can grow up to be the Queen.”
Hawkeye

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8/2/10 9:21 P

We love M*A*S*H. I bought the entire dvd set for my husband for Christmas last year. We love it.

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8/1/10 10:58 P

M*A*S*H

Charles Emerson Winchester III

“I'd sooner share my toothbrush with a Democrat.”

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8/1/10 10:15 P

Anything from Psych when Shawn tells Gus not to be something ie--
Gus don't be a chocolate chip cookie,
Gus dont be a rabid porcupine.

Also when ever he makes an 80's reference--

Girl- Do you believe in karma?
Shawn- We're Karma Chameleons,
Gus- We come and go!"

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7/31/10 12:13 A

Forrest Gump: (referring to Apple Computers) He got me invested in some kinda fruit company.

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7/22/10 10:08 P

I always did enjoy the banter between Mr. Spock and the good Doctor. lol

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7/22/10 11:32 A

Star Trek TOS:

Mr. Spock: The fact that my internal arrangement differs from yours, Doctor, pleases me to no end.
--
Dr. McCoy (talking to himself): If I jumped every time a light came on, I'd end up talking to myself.
--
Spock: I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question.
--
Spock (Referring to the horta): She found humanoid appearance revolting, but she felt she could get used to it.
McCoy: Oh, she did, did she? Now tell me, did she happen to make any comment about those ears?
Spock: Not specifically, but I did get the distinct impression she found them the most attractive human characteristic of all. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that only I have—
Kirk: She really liked those ears?
Spock: Captain, the Horta is a remarkably intelligent and sensitive creature with impeccable taste.
Kirk: Because she approved of you.
Spock: Really, Captain, my modesty—
Kirk: ...Does not bear close examination, Mr. Spock. I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.
Spock: Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.
--
Spock: Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I've trained myself to put up with practically anything.
Leonard McCoy: Spock, I don’t know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there is one thing that I have discovered.
Spock: What’s that, Doctor?
Leonard McCoy: I like them… better than I like you.
Spock: Doctor, they do indeed have one redeeming characteristic… they do not talk too much.

Edited by: MYREALANA at: 7/22/2010 (11:32)

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7/21/10 9:38 P

"Let me understand. You've got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?"
- Frank, in "The Rye"
From Seinfield.

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7/21/10 1:11 P

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Buffy: We have a marching jazz band?
Oz: Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... scary.

Buffy: Cool! Crossbow! Check out these babies. Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality.

Xander: Giles lived for school. He's still bitter there were only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math! This could be mathier."
Xander: Come on. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.

Jenny Calendar: You're here again? You kids really dig the library don't you?
Buffy: We're literary.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.

Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were there.

Buffy: No luck reaching Cordelia?
Xander: I've left a few messages. Sixty, seventy... but you know what really bugs me? [to Willow] OK, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss.
Willow: Darn tootin'!
Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Xander: Mine is much more advanced.

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7/18/10 10:24 P

From Iron Man II

(After Senator Stern tells him that he is no expert on prostitution, Tony replies)

"Of course not, you're a SENATOR! Come on!" - Tony Stark

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7/18/10 9:55 P

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7/18/10 2:50 P

?



A great team. Combining sarcasm with wit!

Should we change the team name to "sarcwits", or "witcasms"?

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7/17/10 9:24 P

"Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again."

"But you yada yada'd over the best part."

"No, I mentioned the bisque."

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7/17/10 7:02 P

Who?

I don't think you can do that. He's on deck.

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7/17/10 6:36 P

I was inspired by the MOVIE QUOTES topic to start a fave tv show quotes topic. What are some of your favorite quotes from tv shows?
I'll start with Dr. Who:

Rose: Doctor, they've got guns.
The Doctor: And I haven't. Which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine!

The Doctor: Oh, I'll think of something.
Mickey: You're just making this up as you go along!
The Doctor: Yep. But I do it brilliantly.

Romana: Newton? who's Newton?
Doctor: Old Isaac? Friend of mine from Earth. Discovered Gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity; I had to give him a bit of a prod.
Romana: what did you do?
Doctor: climbed up a tree.
Romana: and?
Doctor: dropped an apple on his head.
Romana: ah, and so he discovered gravity?
Doctor: oh, no, he told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner.

Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective.

The Doctor: Well... among other things, I think I invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. D'you know, they'd never even seen a banana before; always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.

Rickston: Who put you in charge? And who the hell are you anyway?
The Doctor: *turns* I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey, the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm nine hundred and three years old and I'm the man whose gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. .. You got a problem with that?
Rickston: No.
The Doctor: In that case.. Allons'y!

Lucius Caecilius Iucundus : "Who are you?"
The Doctor: "I am... Spartacus."
Donna: "And so am I."
Lucius Caecilius Iucundus : "Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus?"
The Doctor: "Oh, no no no no no, we're not married..."
Lucius Caecilius Iucundus: "Oh, brother and sister? Yes, of course, you look very much alike."
The Doctor and Donna: [Look at each other. Together:] "Really?!"

The Doctor: Gotta dash, things happening. Well, four things. Well, four things and a lizard.


The Doctor: [About Martha] She fancied me.
Donna: Mad Martha that one, blind Martha, [Looks at the Doctor] Charity Martha.

The Doctor: Beyond The Doctor I just don't know who I am. I literally do not know who I am. So I'm gonna test it. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Life and misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A lier? A nervous wreck? Judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob. And how am I going to react when I see this: A great big threatening button. A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstance. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem, cause I really don't know who I am and I don't know where to stop. So when I see a great big threatening button which should never ever ever be pressed, then I just want to do this!
[presses it]

The Doctor: Oh, while we've been chatting away I forgot to tell you: I'm brilliant.

The Doctor: Oh, Lumic, you're a clever man... I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.

The Doctor: You two, we're at the end of the universe. Okay?! Right at the edge of knowledge itself! And you're busy... blogging

General Staal: General Staal, of the Tenth Sontaran Fleet. Staal the Undefeated!
The Doctor: Well, that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? "Staal the Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Anymore-But-Never-Mind"?

The Doctor: She's got over 4000 living minds chatting away inside her head, it must be like, being, well, me.

Doctor: It must be awful being a prophet. Waking up every morning, "Is it raining? Yes it is, I said so."

The Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.

The Doctor: My mate Ben, that was a day and a half. I got rope burns off that kite. And then I got soaked. And then I got electrocuted.

The Doctor: Any number that reduces to one when you take the sum of the square of its digits and continue iterating until it yields 1 is a happy number, any number that doesn't, isn't. A happy prime is both happy and prime. NOW TYPE IT IN! [turns] I don't know, talk about dumbing down. Don't they teach recreational mathematics anymore?

D.I. Bishop: Okay, Doctor, tell me everything you know.
Doctor: Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hands around your elbows and make your fingers meet.

Tenth Doctor: [the Fifth Doctor has mistaken the Tenth Doctor for a fan] What do you mean a fan? I'm not just a fan! I'm you.
Fifth Doctor: Okay, you're my biggest fan. Look, it's perfectly understandable. I go zooming around space and time, saving planets, fighting monsters, and being, well, let's face it, pretty sort of marvelous. And naturally, now and then people notice me. Start up their little groups. That L.I.N.D.A. lot! Are you one of them?
[the Tenth Doctor looks sheepish]
Fifth Doctor: How did you get in here? Can't have you lot knowing where I live!
Tenth Doctor: Listen to me. I'm you... I'm you with a new face! Check out this bone structure, Doctor, because one day you're going to be shaving it!

(The Doctor frustrated, kicks the TARDIS consol, goes to sit down)
Mickey: Did that help?
Doctor: (angrily) Yes
Mickey: Did it hurt?
Doctor: (lifting his foot up to cradle it, in pain) Yes...

The Doctor: Call me old fashioned but if you really want peace couldn't you just stop fighting?
General Cobb: Only when we have the source, it will give us the power to erase every stinking Hath from the face of this planet!
Doctor: Hang on, hang on! A second go it was peace in our time now you're talking about genecide!
General Cobb: For us that means the same thing!
The Doctor: Then you need to get a better dictionary. When you do look up genecide and you'll see a little picture of me and the caption will read: OVER MY DEAD BODY!

The Doctor: This is my timey-wimey device. It goes "ding" when there's stuff!


Martha: And those are men dressed as women?
Doctor: London never changes.

Donna: "There's a giant wasp!"
Doctor: "What do you mean a giant wasp?"
Donna: "I mean a WASP that's GIANT!"

The Doctor: [drunkenly, to clockwork robots] Oh-ho-ho-ho! It's *you*! Oh, you're I love you. You know why? Because you're so *thick*! You're Mister Thick Thick Thicketty Thickface from Thicktown, Thickania!
[pause] And so's your Dad!

Plasmavore: "With everyone dead, the Judoon ships will be mine to make my escape!"
Doctor: "Noo, that's wierd! You're talking like you're some sort of alien!"
Plasmavore: "Quite right!"
Doctor: "Noooooo"
Plasmavore: "Oh, yes"
Doctor: "You're joshin me!"
Plasmavore: "I am not!"
Doctor: "You're an alien? In a hospital! What, has this place got an E.T. department?"

(The Doctor and Donna go back to the dawn of creation to see the Earth being formed)
Donna: "Puts the wedding into perspective. Lance was right; we’re just… tiny."
The Doctor: "No, but that’s what you do, the human race. Make sense out of chaos. Marking it out with… with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it’s being observed."

The Doctor: Haven't you got a mobile?
Donna: I'm in my wedding dress! it doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting at Chez Alison, the one thing I forgot to say was "Give me pockets!"

Donna: "Santa's a robot!"

The Doctor: So... Physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyysics! Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics... I hope you're getting all this down!

(Evil aliens smack-talk!!!!):
Cyberman: Daleks, be warned; you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is pest control!
Cyberman: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Sec: Four.
Cyberman: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyberman: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!

And now for Captain Jack quotes. He would probably be best described as a pansexual with a very dirty mind...

Sarah Jane: There's three of you?
Rose: Three Doctors?
Cpt. Jack: I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now.

Mickey: That old lady's staring.
Jack : Probably wondering what four people can do in a small box.
Mickey: What are you captain of, the Innuendo Squad?
(why yes... yes he is)

Jack: The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners.

Edited by: OPTIMISSPRIME at: 7/17/2010 (18:39)

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