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SHELBEY74's Photo SHELBEY74 SparkPoints: (36,706)
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1/2/09 6:23 P

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OMG! I LOVE that joke.

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JAYMURZ's Photo JAYMURZ Posts: 8,922
1/2/09 6:04 P

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Shelbie... here's one for ya *giggle*

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.

Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.

The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.

After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on it's head!"

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
1/2/09 5:09 P

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Obviously you have a very mature mopey preteen. I have a very immature preteen that would have been cracking poopie jokes right along with you! lol!

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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SHELBEY74's Photo SHELBEY74 SparkPoints: (36,706)
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1/2/09 4:42 P

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Yesterday we took the kids out for a walk and my husband and I entertained ourselves by playing "How far can we tease the mopey pre-teen before he needs therapy." It's not sophisticated. It really consists of us telling poopie jokes while we're out in public. Then the boy begged us to stop, so of course we stepped it up.

My favorite was "A poopie walks into a bar and the bartender says 'Hey! I didn't know corn was in season!'" I was in stitches. The boy was NOT amused. Whose kid is this???

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ALYNN18's Photo ALYNN18 Posts: 1,253
1/2/09 12:56 P

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emoticon

.::April Lynn::.




MEMAMBITION Posts: 4
1/2/09 10:26 A

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omg that story is classic. Hilarious

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SHELBEY74's Photo SHELBEY74 SparkPoints: (36,706)
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12/31/08 1:28 P

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Oh my goodness! This thread is hysterical. And to think that I get peeved because my guys can't seem to hit the toilet (stretch and yawn while peeing, fellahs?).

It doesn't help that my 2-year-old daughter is fascintated by the whole process and won't let my DH have any privacy. I'm just waiting for that inquisitive little finger to come out and touch the "water."

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156 (3rd 10%): Sign up for a dancing class
141 (Goal): Queen Anne For A Day spa package


Luxury is a glass of wine, a steamy romance novel, a bubble bath and the knowledge that the kids and the husband are asleep so you can soak in uninterrupted bliss.


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RENA1965's Photo RENA1965 Posts: 17,878
12/30/08 11:40 P

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I went to the bus stop toilet and was shocked.. I paid for no toilet paper, no toilet seat and the hand alcohol dispenser looked like someone tried to torch it..
I can get the no toilet paper and oh my goodness bowl at home for free. (teenagers+computer=angry mother)..

Edited by: RENA1965 at: 12/30/2008 (23:41)
"I shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me. Or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsbility. Win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny."
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JAYMURZ's Photo JAYMURZ Posts: 8,922
11/11/08 8:05 P

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When I went scuba diving in Cuba, the facilities at the dice shop were atrocious! Unforunetly, yes I had to a major bomber (so to speak)... and the toilet didn't flush... and there was no toilet paper either! Thank god I was prepared.. but it was disgusting! Other than that, Cuba was a beautiful island, and a great place.

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/31/08 12:03 A

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Thanks Popeye! I can come up with some good ones sometimes! lol!

And yep. I so agree with you. Anyone should do time in a third world country after high school. Maybe these kids would learn to appreciate what they have! (I have a 17 yo at home...)

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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LADYDISCIPLINE's Photo LADYDISCIPLINE Posts: 2,960
10/30/08 1:46 P

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Ah, the holes with the two foot pads...we called those bomb runs in Korea. Excellent test of whether you were drunk enough to go home or not.

And by the way, everybody knows that Kinky is with a feather and perverted is with the whole bird.

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POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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10/29/08 9:26 P

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ROSANNALYNN,

I just have to acknowledge your pun, emoticon

For everyone - I think if all Americans were required to give service for two years after high school, in a second or third world nation, we'd all come to appreciate the conveniences that living in the US has to offer.

IMHO

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DIALY_STORM's Photo DIALY_STORM Posts: 1,448
10/28/08 11:25 A

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I was out walking the other day and unintentionally designated the men's room at Panera as a unisex bathroom. I went in there and used the facilities before I realized I was in the wrong place, lol!

I skedaddled out of there as quickly as possible. I have to laugh at myself, because I'd do it if I had witnessed anyone else making the same mistake!

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DAVIDMCK's Photo DAVIDMCK Posts: 972
10/28/08 1:00 A

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Well, let's talk about men in East Germany. In most public restrooms there was a long tiled wall with a trough where the floor met the wall. A water pipe ran along the wall about 5 feet above the trough. The pipe had holes in with water running down the wall continuously. You stood next to the trough and wee wee's on the wall. Needless to say, the water (and whatever was in the water) running down the wall into the trough was always splashing up on your shoes.

It's not true unless it makes you laugh, but you don't understand until it makes you weep.


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/27/08 10:48 P

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Wow! I think I'm getting more of a potty education than I ever dreamed of! At least I know where to squat and where not to now!!



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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ROYALETBONE's Photo ROYALETBONE SparkPoints: (46,176)
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10/27/08 10:07 P

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There are lots of holes to pee in in the world. I'd just been to the Philippines and was accustomed to that, when I went to a very elegant hotel in San Franciso. There were bathroom attendants, and brass fixtures, and beautiful tile, and lovely amenities everywhere. A little old lady came in, walked to the drain pipe, and peed into it. The attendants were aghast. After the little old lady left, I told them, 'no worries, she's just not from around here', and left laughing to myself. Seemed normal to me, too!

Edited by: ROYALETBONE at: 10/27/2008 (22:08)
Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/27/08 7:28 P

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I guess its a good think I haven't left the continent??? I like the good ol' American Public Restrooms-did I say that?!?

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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DAVIDMCK's Photo DAVIDMCK Posts: 972
10/27/08 5:22 P

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You want to talk about delicacy. Back when there used to be an East Germany, I spent several months there doing research. I happened on several women's toilets that were-- I kid you not-- two footpads and a hole in the floor. They sometimes combined this with a shower where you used the shower head on a hose to "flush" the toilet. No wonder they went under!

It's not true unless it makes you laugh, but you don't understand until it makes you weep.


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/27/08 5:12 P

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Sorry! Pun intended...

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,069
10/27/08 4:55 P

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Never been to France.

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

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LOEGAIRE's Photo LOEGAIRE Posts: 12,385
10/27/08 4:36 P

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Privy to the privies?

Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/27/08 4:29 P

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Sorry! I haven't been out of the U.S. (Unless Canada counts...) I think I've heard rumor of them, but obviously, I haven't been privy to using them!

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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10/27/08 3:48 P

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Back more to the original subject, has anyone used those unisex bathrooms in France that are on the streets?

I don't see much of a problem for a guy, but aren't women a little more . . . delicate . . . uhh, sensitive . . . well, you know what I mean. Don't you?

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/23/08 6:52 P

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Yep. I have a degree too. A lot of good it's done me! Some 5th graders are pretty smart...

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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10/23/08 6:22 P

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Here also. But it does have its drawbacks.

Even with a college degree, I'm still not Smarter Than a Fifth Grader!

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/23/08 12:41 P

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oh, I'm a redneck and damn proud of it! Ha Ha!!!



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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LOEGAIRE's Photo LOEGAIRE Posts: 12,385
10/23/08 11:57 A

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Whaddaya mean "might"? *laugh*

Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
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Good judgement comes from experience. Experience usually comes from bad judgement.
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Live each day as if it's your last, because one day you'll be right.
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Stop whining and DO something!
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I have no shift key and I must scream.


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/23/08 11:54 A

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emoticon

I think we are crossing over the the "you might be a redneck if..." category...

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,069
10/23/08 10:18 A

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lol

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
www.flickr.com/photos/blackheart904/

LOEGAIRE's Photo LOEGAIRE Posts: 12,385
10/23/08 10:07 A

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And a pressure washer makes a great bidet.

Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
***
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience usually comes from bad judgement.
***
Live each day as if it's your last, because one day you'll be right.
***
Stop whining and DO something!
***
I have no shift key and I must scream.


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/22/08 11:45 P

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Weren't you the uppity one?!? 1 holer wasn't good enough??? I seem to remember something about corn cobs too. Never had the privilege of trying that method.

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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POPEYETHETURTLE's Photo POPEYETHETURTLE SparkPoints: (218,041)
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10/22/08 11:21 P

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OK for all you youngsters - or those that lived in uppity farm country.

As a young boy I lived on a farm that had the outdoor privy behind the chicken coop (the smells did a lot in cancelling each other out).

We had a number of complaints about being a one-holer family from relatives - who always seemed to wind up at our place on holidays. So my Dad fixed the problem.

He took the privy apart, after moving it away from the current hole, built an extension and made it into a four-holer. We were definitely uptown.

The boy cousins were always careful to go into the privy while there were two or more girl cousins already inside. Today, we would all probably be arrested as perverts.

One last note (no pun intended). What do you use when there is no toilet paper, catalogues or newspaper?

Corn cobs! Yup, dried corn cobs become incredibly soft if you rub them against the grain prior to using them.

Yes, I have.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

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MRSLEBENX's Photo MRSLEBENX Posts: 235
10/16/08 1:37 P

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emoticon

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ROYALETBONE's Photo ROYALETBONE SparkPoints: (46,176)
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10/14/08 2:53 P

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Oh, I like that term... put that in my little grey...
has anybody else seen "Choke" yet?

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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LOEGAIRE's Photo LOEGAIRE Posts: 12,385
10/14/08 2:19 P

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Malsexual-someone who will do anything, so long as it's morally wrong...

Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
***
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience usually comes from bad judgement.
***
Live each day as if it's your last, because one day you'll be right.
***
Stop whining and DO something!
***
I have no shift key and I must scream.


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10/14/08 2:11 P

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There are a number of holy folk who believe in drinking your OWN urine....perverts drink somebody else's!
Perversion- something you are not interested in doing. Kinky- something you think you might do with the right partner. Something like that!


Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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LOEGAIRE's Photo LOEGAIRE Posts: 12,385
10/14/08 2:08 P

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Maybe he's just having a treatment...

www.cancer.org/docroot/ETO/content/E
TO
_5_3X_Urotherapy.asp


Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
***
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience usually comes from bad judgement.
***
Live each day as if it's your last, because one day you'll be right.
***
Stop whining and DO something!
***
I have no shift key and I must scream.


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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,069
10/14/08 1:59 P

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emoticon

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
www.flickr.com/photos/blackheart904/

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10/14/08 1:42 P

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There was a Urine Queen at one of my work places. He spent hours and hours in the bathroom. My co-worker would go to a different bathroom, up or down flights of stairs to get away from him. My co-worker was 6'6", a total gay blade, knew what was up, but just hated to have to go into the same bathroom. People-
golden showers?

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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LOEGAIRE's Photo LOEGAIRE Posts: 12,385
10/14/08 1:38 P

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Well, some folks have odd fetishes...

"Someone been gettin' naughty in here? This place smells like s**t!"

Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
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MRSLEBENX's Photo MRSLEBENX Posts: 235
10/14/08 12:54 P

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Wow. hardcore

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/13/08 7:14 A

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Wow! Haven't come across that one! That just ain't right!!!



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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ROYALETBONE's Photo ROYALETBONE SparkPoints: (46,176)
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10/13/08 1:55 A

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Have you ever caught a couple screwing in the bathroom? I just don't get that one...I don't think I would fully relax into the whole experience. I've walked on on a couple banging away in a 3 stall bathroom- and I went ahead & used the toilet. To hell with the goof balls, if I need to go, I'm doing it. Somehow, smelling somebody taking a dump next to me as I was getting laid---nah, not for me!

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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MRSLEBENX's Photo MRSLEBENX Posts: 235
10/12/08 9:41 P

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emoticon

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/11/08 12:19 P

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Good one!



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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DAVIDMCK's Photo DAVIDMCK Posts: 972
10/11/08 1:20 A

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I just joined this team, but will start with my favorite public restroom story.

A man is washing his hands at the sink in a public bathroom when a voice comes out of one of the stalls (angry) "There's no paper in here, could you see if another stall has extra paper."

The man outside looks and only finds the locked paper holders, no spare rolls. "Nothing," he says.

The voice from the stall (now a bit desperate) "What about an old newspaper? Paper bag? Magazine?"

The man outside looks around and in the trash can. "Nope, nothing."

A long pause from the stall. The voice again (now pitiful)
"You got change for a five?"

It's not true unless it makes you laugh, but you don't understand until it makes you weep.


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/10/08 6:06 P

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I've heard about the bacteria that gets on the tooth brushes-ewwww! Doesn't that sound awful!

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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ROYALETBONE's Photo ROYALETBONE SparkPoints: (46,176)
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10/10/08 5:18 P

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I read about what happens during a flush- if you put dye in the water, you will eventually see the water splashes up to 6 feet away from the toilet. I am most decidedly a proponent of closing the lid- always close the lid-
You know, with many bathrooms, you end up with pee on your toothbrush?
Ah, the joys of good educations.
emoticon

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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MRSLEBENX's Photo MRSLEBENX Posts: 235
10/10/08 4:46 P

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Thanks to roseanne for sharing the story.
as for ROYALETBONE-definately flush + put the seat down and the cover as well as a compromise which women should do to: agree both to leave the toilet seat and the cover down to prevent future arguments as of who left it up and who left it down, done!

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10/7/08 5:26 P

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We had a spring at our summer home. The sign said 'If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down.'
I go through tortures of the damed about middle of the night flushes for peeing. Is it more rude to the neighbors to flush (sound), or more rude to the flatmates to not flush? Plus, we are in a drought. My frugal soul wants to leave pee, my social self says flush.
Decisions, decisions.

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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LISAFAZ's Photo LISAFAZ Posts: 290
10/7/08 4:55 P

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You know, I really hate people who are too lazy to flush. Yeah, sure, you may need to hold it down a minute, but that's why you have feet. Just kick it and hold. Then I won't have to see your dump truck-like payload when I need to pee. Just flush.

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/6/08 11:59 P

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Too funny! Gotta love potty humor!!!



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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JESSI729's Photo JESSI729 Posts: 274
10/6/08 11:36 P

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This reminds me of a story my sister in law told me.. She was at Wal-mart and had to go Bad. She goes in to pee in the crowded restroom. She had used her husbands phone earlier and it was still in her pocket. He decided to call her while she is sitting there in the stall, and wouldn't you know, he had his ringtone set as a bunch of loud nasty farts. Poor thing. She said she didn't want to come out of that stall. lol



"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." Thomas Jefferson


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/6/08 5:11 P

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Amen! That is gross! Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?!?

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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DIALY_STORM's Photo DIALY_STORM Posts: 1,448
10/6/08 4:35 P

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Speaking of those toilet seat covers, may I suggest that those who don't understand the concept of flushing the *&%# thing down the toilet so that the poor soul after them isn't forced to deal with the very unhygienic conditions they sought to avoid be subjected to seven times seven trips to unpleasant potties!

Inhale faith, exhale fear.

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/6/08 11:13 A

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My mom has 4 brothers-2 older and 2 younger. She also had a step brother and of course her parents at the time. With no indoor plumbing, they had a large oval tub they would fill up. The first one in-got a really hot bath! The last one in...let's just say, cold and nasty! In the summer-they would take the Ivory soap down to the creek to wash!

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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MRSLEBENX's Photo MRSLEBENX Posts: 235
10/6/08 10:56 A

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I'm quite curious... Please, share with us ROSEANNALYNN!!!

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/1/08 5:34 P

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My grandfather had a port-a-pot for nights. i.e. a pot to use in the house that was taken out during the day.

You should hear the story of the bathtub from when my mom was growing up....



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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MAUREEN19640824's Photo MAUREEN19640824 Posts: 10,340
10/1/08 4:46 P

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emoticon too funny!

Joy is the best makeup.
-Anne Lamott

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
-Author Unknown


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MRSLEBENX's Photo MRSLEBENX Posts: 235
10/1/08 4:23 P

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And I also experienced port potties but already when here in US. I think I stay with my great granny outhouse if u let me choose.

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MRSLEBENX's Photo MRSLEBENX Posts: 235
10/1/08 4:21 P

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This bring back memories; I grew up in Russia where in rural areas outhouses are very common. I lived in an Urban area but for summer my grandma took me to visit my Great Grand mother ocasionally and she had one of thoose where she lived. It's a scary trip when is night and you have to go. Good thing I never been there in winter!

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/1/08 3:51 P

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Great one guys!

My mom tells stories of tipping the school out house over...with the teacher in it! yeah, she got in trouble-lol!



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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ROYALETBONE's Photo ROYALETBONE SparkPoints: (46,176)
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10/1/08 3:43 P

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Oh, no- it is that HE writes HER name in the snow- best in her handwriting...
OR- SHE writes HIS name in the snow. Writing your own name in the snow sounds silly.
I like to do pictures, myself. ;-)

The worst porta potty of all time... somebody had tipped it over ONTO the door- and when you opened the door, there was a collage of poop & paper up to 2" thick on the door... I saw a guy go in & USE that porta potty...he prob thought it was the swirly lights in his head. Ah, rock concerts.
I grew up using outhouses. I like old outhouses. I always kicked the wall before I went in. I had a fear of pissing on a skunk. Yup, we had some skunks visiting under our outhouse....

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,069
10/1/08 3:40 P

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OMG LOLOLOLOLOL

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
www.flickr.com/photos/blackheart904/

LOEGAIRE's Photo LOEGAIRE Posts: 12,385
10/1/08 3:33 P

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I think people who can't be bothered to clean up after themselves in a public restroom should be flogged, and then given a swirly in the messiest bowl possible...

And for the record, if you REALLY want to attract a man, be a woman who can write her name in the snow! emoticon

Do not try and think outside the box. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no box.
***
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience usually comes from bad judgement.
***
Live each day as if it's your last, because one day you'll be right.
***
Stop whining and DO something!
***
I have no shift key and I must scream.


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/1/08 3:17 P

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Oh yeah! When I was growing up-my Grandfather's house was condemned-but he still lived in it. It was a trip going over there as a kid. He had an outhouse-yes with the wooden seat AND phone book for toilet paper. That was fun!

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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CHLOIANNA's Photo CHLOIANNA SparkPoints: (44,984)
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10/1/08 3:06 P

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Hahahaha. How true!

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JLANDSBERGER's Photo JLANDSBERGER Posts: 5,279
10/1/08 2:32 P

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So true. I grew up in Iowa...land of corn and pigs...and I've actually had to use outhouses on a few occasions in my life. There's never toilet paper, and the damn seat is made of wood...and it stinks even worse than a porta-potty.

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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/1/08 2:28 P

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That is funny! And they would too!



Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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HOFMAE's Photo HOFMAE Posts: 2,957
10/1/08 2:26 P

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Not only can guys pee in the woods-they can write their name in the snow!

Very funny!!

Liz :)

"This is neither the time nor the place for common sense"

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence"


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ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
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When we go snowmobiling in the winter, I carry a roll in sled because it's not fun using a porta potty in the winter with no toilet paper! Guys have it lucky-they can just pee in the woods!

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,069
10/1/08 2:00 P

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Anymore when we go to the races, I take a roll with me so if the porta potty is out, I still have some.

But ya, good idea Rose.

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
www.flickr.com/photos/blackheart904/

ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/1/08 1:51 P

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Something I've learned when having to use a porta potty-if you find toilet paper in one-stock up for later-especially if your using one in a Beer Tent...

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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GRALLEN's Photo GRALLEN Posts: 20,069
10/1/08 1:47 P

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This is soooo true. I always lay down toilet paper and if the stall has no TP, I go to another one or come out, get back in line, at the front and announce the stall has no TP.

Gail

Quit stuffing your face and face your stuff.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
I think therefore I am dangerous.
Don't make excuses, make changes.

See my photos on Flickr.
www.flickr.com/photos/blackheart904/

ROSEANNALYNN's Photo ROSEANNALYNN Posts: 9,444
10/1/08 1:45 P

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Amen!

The Porta-potties are even more fun...

Every Time I hear that dirty word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with "Chocolate" !!!!!!!!

Success is succeeding one more time than you fail!

I'm on a low-crap diet and a get-off-your-butt exercise plan.

I have lost myself, I have gone to find myself, should I return before I get back, Please have me wait!

If you are going through hell, keep going.
Sir Winston Churchill



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LADYDISCIPLINE's Photo LADYDISCIPLINE Posts: 2,960
10/1/08 1:40 P

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When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT .. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!



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Sarcastic remarks 8/3/2013 10:48:19 AM
Pun, Pass & Kick Contest (- Pass & Kick) 3/10/2014 10:59:48 PM
could you help 4/5/2014 4:10:57 PM
I dropped the bomb on .... 11/24/2013 12:51:42 PM
your best accessory 3/3/2014 11:34:44 AM

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