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I did have someone tell me I was gaining weight, my mom. But she did it in a manner which upset me, and being an emotional eater, caused me to gain more weight. Most of my friends are average size and tell me I look ok. But, when I say I'm trying to cut down on my bad eating habits, they seem to try to get me to eat more. Its a vicious cycle.
Edited by: PURPLENY at: 4/25/2012 (00:36)
Well I have had people tell me and I wasn't ready to listen. I also wasn't ready to act. I doubt I can do it for someone else. It has to be for me. I knew when I had to buy a bigger size, I knew when my body ached and less weight would be better. Every time I turn on news or read something, it talks about higher risks for obesity with everything! I do better with people supporting me with love, my weight is off limits! If all it took was someone talking to me, that would have happened years ago. It is not too late though. You are here and we all want you to succeed.
I am not losing this fat - I am removing it for good.
"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
"Change your thoughts and change your world"
I believe that this would be difficult because people don't think you would accept their advice. I had to take control myself.
I needed to look in the mirror and tell myself that I needed to lose 75 pounds. I need to initiate the conversation then I found I had friends and family around me that supported my weightloss journey. But it started with me.
Brown Deer, WI
leader of Weight Watchers Support team - leader
It's a tough issue. How do you tell someone in a loving way - I guess they'd have to have health issues, then you can express concern. However YES I wish someone would have said something like I've noticed you've gone up a size or two in your clothing, I have too, maybe we can work out together - or something to that effect. No one ever admits it, except for here on Spark. This is the place to put it all out there and get feed back!
For me it was just 30 pounds too many and I didn't really realize it. My husband always says I look good, my mother says it's natural to gain weight in the Winter and loose it in the Summer. It's not a big deal to them. It's HUGE for me.
My husband has been noticing what I do and he's onboard in his own way, he's finally become aware that he could use to lose a few pounds. He's on again off again though, never really sticks to anything. A few days he feels better he eats bad stuff again.
I feel it would be easier and more successful if he and I did this together and we just bought into a program like NutriSystem or something. However, we have children - they need to eat - they eat totally different things than we would. So there comes the cost - groceries for us, groceries for them - double the cost - just not going to work.
Anyway, I am on my way back to thin, I resist as much as I can. Most days I sacrafice one thing for another with regards to knowing ahead - IF we are going out to dinner today I eat less all day so I can make up the rest of the calories with that dinner and not feel guilty. Etc.
That is a very interesting question!
I believe that if a trusted family member or friend shows genuine concern AND shares possible helpful answers (as to ways of bettering/correcting the situation) it could prove beneficially to someone dealing with weight issues. However, (isn’t there always a “however”?) if there are only words spoken without some constructive help, I say it is better not to speak at all. My reasoning is that the show of concern, without the sincere back up offer of help, could easily be seen as criticism rather than true concern for one’s well being – thus, leave the person with the weight issues with more frustrations to deal with.
May we all be blessed with much success today!
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." ~ Psalm 33:12 --- IN GOD WE TRUST
I urge you --- Don’t be a part of any system that leaves God out!
“There is a plot in this country to enslave every man, woman, & child. Before I leave this high & noble office, I intend to expose this plot.” ~ John F. Kennedy (seven days before his assassination)
Have you ever wondered about the plot that President Kennedy alluded to?
When I first married my husband in 1996 I weighed 125 lbs ( I'm 5'9" tall). Between then and 2003 I gained up to 196 lbs. Between 2003 and 2005 I dropped the weight back down to 142 lbs. From 2005 until now I've gained back up to an all time high of 250 lbs, and am currently 242.2.
The reason I told the above was to show just how my weight has gotten out of control and I've had NOONE in my family support my weight loss efforts. My hubby says it's not his place to say anything especially since he's gained about 120 lbs since he retired. But I do feel had he made it plain to me he preferred me much thinner than I currently am, I would have tried harder to keep the weight off. The past few years menopause played a huge part in my weight gain. I'm really now at the point where I feel my body will co-operate if I push myself to get the weight back off. I know better than to try to get back down to even what I weighed in 2005. I'll be happy to get down to 185 lbs and just stay at that weight.
My Mother was and is still very supportive of me and my weight loss efforts. She has always monitored my weight and let me know when she was worried over my constant gain and letting myself go. She would offer assistance and support, (books, recepies, exercises and actively participating with me...) but until I was ready for the change it just made me feel guilty for making her worry over me because I knew how much she loved me.
Until I was ready for it I just brushed her off all those years, telling her not to worry, I would do something about it in time...
***Cant never could but I sure WANT to!***
I would have appreciated someone supporting me when I was in my pre-teen years. By my teens the task of a healthy weight was overwhelming, already fighting emotions with food. I have a friend that I have tried to help, I expressed my concern but she just isn't ready. I just let her see my progress now and set an example and hope she decides it is time.
I am an only child! And, that can have its ups and downs!
I didn't have close friends, due to family disfunctions I was considered the girl from the wrong side of the tracks! The only 'friends' I had were the down-trodden. So, I know full well what you mean.
Thanks to my Faith, slowly that has turned around. I am slightly over-weight, but, at my age, most of my 'now' friends have body issues as well.
But, yes, when I were much younger, it would have been important to me.
Edited by: SMIDGON at: 4/23/2012 (06:35)
"All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose."
This is a tough one....I understand what your friend is saying...As far as comparing food to alcohol, the difference is you HAVE to have food to live, but you don't need to have alcohol to live...Personally, a more effective way to help me to 'tune in' is to see the behaviors and choices, rather then hear the words of, those around me...
I have absolutely no support, I have "friends" but they are mostly social friends and i have a brother and sister whom I love dearly but we lead completely separate lives and they are much closer to each other than to me so I am pretty much on my own and I would like to see what other people think about this.
I would like to know if when you REALLY started to gain weight would you have appreciated someone you care close to and who you KNOW cares about you to have sat you down and told you they are worried about you and asked you to take better care of yourself and do you think it would have helped?
I am not talking about the sibling, friend or parent that is putting you down or badgering you; I mean when they do it in a kind and loving way.
My sister has never understood my issues with food since she is the exact opposite of me and simply does not understand the struggle so many people have with food/weight. There is a women i have been friends with for 20 years told me she didn't think it was right for her to say anything even though she knew me thinner and younger and all the struggles i have had in the last 8-10 years. I asked her what if i drank too much if would she have said something then and when she said yes she would have I explained it's the same thing just simply a different drug.
So again, I am curious would you want someone to tell you?
By the way, I would have loved to have had someone talk to me before i got to this point.