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GROWLINGTURTLEZ's Photo GROWLINGTURTLEZ Posts: 10
11/30/06 8:32 A

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Decipher,
I know what you're feeling. My eating problems also started from an abusive situation. I didn't think of it as self abuse or a way to find support since I was only 11 at the time, but it's something I'm still struggling with 11 years later. When you're feeling like you want to eat until you choke on it, call a loved one. you don't even half to tell them what's going on, because sometimes just hearing their voice is enough. And GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Get away from the food and try to clear your own air. One other thing I've also tried recently is to write down little messages to myself like, "I love you", or "No one abuses you anymore so why do it to yourself?" or "You deserve good health". Then I take these messages and hide them in my purse, the fridge, anywhere so I'll see them constantly.
You'll find tons of support here, and good luck to you!

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DECIPHER's Photo DECIPHER Posts: 21
11/29/06 10:21 P

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For me, it is like a computer glitch, I know good and well when I'm gonna over eat, sometimes I can control it, but with the things I have went through, it has been virtually impossible for me to get a grip on myself. It's like my mind goes into "Eat" mode, to numb the pain.
I will be honest, I have been abused by otheres in more ways than I care to remember, and it's a sinister thing, when I too, abuse myself. It's like all I know or something.
I know why I do it, I know when I'll do it, I just dont know the steps into stopping it.
I am so glad, that I have found a place, where there is people like me, FINALLY. Maybe we can shed some light for each other, cause frankly, I am in the dark as to the solution of the problem. I def. wanna fix it tho. It's all I ever wanted. I am tired of suffering. The weight on my shoulders, the weight on my body, the weight of the world, is killing me.

Dont ever make anyone your top priority when they consider you, just an option.


 
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MOEMAC3858's Photo MOEMAC3858 Posts: 205
11/29/06 12:44 P

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I believe we abuse ourselves because we're filling a void in our lives with food. Food makes us feel so good while we're thinking of it then eating it. We're always willing to pay the high price of feeling guilty or bad after the food is gone. I know, for myself, when I was young and something was wrong, which was often, I always turned to food for comfort and security because that was the only place I was able to obtain that feeling - FOOD and lots of the wrong FOOD. I too am guilty of dishing out the advice but not always following it. Do as I say and not as I do, right? We all know what's right and what needs to be done to get to our goals. We just don't want to do the hard work and dedicate ourselves to a permanent way of healthy eating resulting in healthy living. We all want those things but we want them now....not 6 to 10 months or more down the road. But I believe if I keep dishing out the advise that I know is right, maybe, just maybe it will stick to my brain and I will allow myself to finally make it work for me.

 
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AMKUBASEK's Photo AMKUBASEK SparkPoints: (0)
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11/29/06 2:05 A

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Remember ladies it only takes 21 days to start a new habit.... our lives are definitely worth repeating positive affirmations about ourselves for 21 days straight to start a new positive habit!

Anne-Marie

Edited by: AMKUBASEK at: 11/29/2006 (02:06)
Fear of failure is courage not prayed for

Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow is not a given, Today is all we have!

www.myspace.com/makeupchicky

1st goal
-Lose 10 lbs
-Take a picture since I gotten fat and put it up on my SP!


 
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FIBERFINDER's Photo FIBERFINDER Posts: 1,299
11/28/06 11:56 P

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Growlingturtles- praise God that you have these people in your life that love and support you. Just start listening to them until you believe them!!

emoticon

"For I know the plans I have for you" says the LORD" plans to give you hope and a future."
JER.29:11

Where ever you are, be ALL there!!


 
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DANA-BANANA's Photo DANA-BANANA Posts: 2,700
11/28/06 11:54 P

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Wow...there are lots of good things said here...I'm drinking it all in! Thanks ladies!!!!

HUGS,
Dana

Highest weight:
Sept/05
230lbs

Sparkpeople Start:
Sept 7/06
208lbs

Reached GOAL:
Sept 18/07
130lbs

****************
OIM 1/2 Marathon (21.1k)
Completed: Oct 7/07
2hrs14mins:22sec


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MAMA1984's Photo MAMA1984 Posts: 1,927
11/28/06 11:35 P

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thanks alot missdebby for the big hug i sure needed
it. i am being better about being positive about myself. i have to do better. i march in place for
excersize i get out of breath if i walk around.
so i do walk in place it is better.i have to
get better cause im a stay at home mom and if
im not around my little ones will have to go to
a sitter. so i have to try harder to eat less.
thanks, jacki

Edited by: MAMA1984 at: 11/28/2006 (23:36)
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GODZDESIGN95's Photo GODZDESIGN95 SparkPoints: (94,093)
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11/28/06 10:13 P

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Deb thanks. I know who I am in christ Jesus but I needed reminding.

Edited by: GODZDESIGN95 at: 11/28/2006 (22:15)
PAT

NO WEAPON THAT IS FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER.

ISAIAH 54:17




Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food. ...Hippocrates


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GROWLINGTURTLEZ's Photo GROWLINGTURTLEZ Posts: 10
11/28/06 7:47 P

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This is my first post on this board, but I also agree. Just today after I got home from work I was a little hungry, and even though I've been doing really the past two days, I ate 3 pieces of pie and ice cream. Whenever this happens I keeps asking myself "Why do I keep doing this?". What I can't figure out is why I want to abuse myself in this way. My loved ones seem to think I'm worth all the good things in my life, but obviously I don't think the same if I keep doing this to myself. I just need to keep telling myself that I am worthy of good health.

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FIBERFINDER's Photo FIBERFINDER Posts: 1,299
11/28/06 7:39 P

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I think you are so right about over eating as a form of self- abuse. I don't think we consciously choose that,anymore than people deliberatly continue to choose abusive relationships. It is the familiar that we keep returning to. No matter how painful the familiar is, it is still 'home' of sorts. I think with the eating we are trying to physically fill a void that only God can fill and heal.

emoticon

"For I know the plans I have for you" says the LORD" plans to give you hope and a future."
JER.29:11

Where ever you are, be ALL there!!


 
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GOURGEOUSGAL's Photo GOURGEOUSGAL Posts: 283
11/28/06 5:43 P

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Ahippilps1,
I was touched by your thoughts. I am also going through this in my life right now. Being positive is the most amazing feeling!( It is so hard to get started though.)but its well worth the rewards. I am learning self love and everyone around me benefits its truly magical.
Good luck with this step I will be thinking of you.
Luv JJ

JJ

Mini goal to weigh in at 79 kgs.


 
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DRAGONLOVERCALI's Photo DRAGONLOVERCALI Posts: 329
11/28/06 3:53 P

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Deb, thanks for your wonderful words. We all need more people like you. I exercise everyday by walking over to my boyfriends place and back. I try to focus on my speed of my walk because I know the faster I go the more calories I burn, and the more I burn the more I lose. Exercise rules!!!!!!!!!

Life gives you lemons........Find a way to make lemonade!

When we fail one day even by a little bit we should look at how we feel and why we did what we did. Then and only then can we learn how not to treat ourselves the way we have.


 
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MISSYDEBBY's Photo MISSYDEBBY Posts: 48
11/28/06 3:47 P

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Oh I just love all of you. You know, whatever stage any of us are at, we can all help and be helped. I'm sure even Gandi craved bacon.

This may be so PollyAnna of me, but whenever the jerky internal voice comes on, I play a little game of question-my-assumptions. Why not? If my jerk voice can make up its own reality, so can I!

Example: Aphillips, you ask "do we not feel worthy of being happy and healthy? do we hate ourselves so much that we want to self destruct?" Question-the-assumption: Maybe it's not so complicated. Maybe we have just have some really ingrained bad habits. Maybe we use plates that are too big, throwing off our sense of portion. Maybe we really do love ourselves, but have a funny way of showing it. Maybe we should even question the assumption that we are bent on self destruction. I mean, sometimes I think we buy into the bullcrap that says that fat people hate ourselves. Maybe some do, but maybe some of us are just fat for simple deal-able reasons that have nothing to do with cracks in our psyches.

And Mama2002, that must be such a scary place to be. I am sending a gigantic hug your way. Can I ask you something? Do you exercise? Anyone who has read my posts knows that I am a born-again exerciser. And for good reason. I, too, could not control what I ate. And the more I tried to restrain the more I rebelled. So there was no way and no light. Just more food, more rebellion, more weight, more grief, wash, rinse, repeat. I broke that cycle by committing to exercise.

Slowly, very slowly, but surely I began to feel my body again. I began to not to WANT to eat desert... not from fickle willpower but because I just didn't feel like bringing it with me the next day to the gym. Then I began to WANT to eat healthy food - not because I was supposed to, but because I saw improvements and wanted more. And whenever I really fell off the wagon, and felt like a total waste, just the act of moving gave me something to be proud of. Being proud. Wanting something instead of feeling deprived. This is what exercise can give you.

And any of you are feeling like a hypocrite... well just stop it, already!!! Stop calling yourselves names, darn it. You are awesome people helping others even if you are not perfect. We all get the chance to start over every day... every second. Want to take your own advice? Do it NOW!!! Yeeeee Haw!

Sparkly Sparkles, Deb

 
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DRAGONLOVERCALI's Photo DRAGONLOVERCALI Posts: 329
11/28/06 3:36 P

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I think one of the reasons why I abuse myself is that if I get worried about food going bad; I tend to eat all of that food so it won't go bad. As a small child I was taken away from my parents because of neglect, lack of food, and different forms of physical abuse. That plus seeing my Mom eat large amounts of food must be way I am so over weight. I think those are the reasons why I abuse myself.

Life gives you lemons........Find a way to make lemonade!

When we fail one day even by a little bit we should look at how we feel and why we did what we did. Then and only then can we learn how not to treat ourselves the way we have.


 
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CACTUS4 Posts: 88
11/28/06 3:17 P

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Thanks for starting the new thread Andra.I will check it out in a minute.I am awful to myself.Have been that way since I was a child.Let's hope that we can all grow on our journeys to self-love.Hope everyone has a good day.We do deserve happiness!

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WANT2LUVMEAGAIN's Photo WANT2LUVMEAGAIN Posts: 4,059
11/28/06 3:09 P

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your wish is my command. i started a thread- my positive thought for today and hope everyone joins me there. and thank you for all the posts here. i know i am not alone anymore. andra

GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND MOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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TNJRICHTER's Photo TNJRICHTER SparkPoints: (0)
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11/28/06 2:50 P

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I beat myself up a lot, especially after my doctor appointments. I feel like a failure and want to just hide away from the world. I find myself encouraging others on here and being a hypocrite because I do exact opposite of what I tell others.
I am glad to find I am not the ONLY one doing this, I wish I knew how to stop it.

Baby steps forward are better than giant steps... backwards


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GODZDESIGN95's Photo GODZDESIGN95 SparkPoints: (94,093)
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11/28/06 2:42 P

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Mama I too am concerned about my health. But, I know the Lord has given me strength and he will be with me,family and I trust him..

PAT

NO WEAPON THAT IS FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER.

ISAIAH 54:17




Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food. ...Hippocrates


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MAMA1984's Photo MAMA1984 Posts: 1,927
11/28/06 2:38 P

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im so upset with myself i cry alot cause i cant control my eating. i have to think more positive i know but it is so hard with me being so overweight.
im afraid i will die and not be here for my little
ones if i cant learn to control myself. mama

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KATHARINE5's Photo KATHARINE5 Posts: 4,579
11/28/06 2:37 P

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It makes perfect sense to me. My mom will ask me for advice and I give it to her, but I don't follow my own voice. There's a voice in the back of my head that's telling me to eat and that I'm not capable of being thin. I know my self destructive pattern came about during my first marriage, now I just have to figure out how to turn it off.

Katharine

Goals that are not written down are just wishes.


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GODZDESIGN95's Photo GODZDESIGN95 SparkPoints: (94,093)
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11/28/06 2:31 P

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Suzie, saying one positive thing about ourelves is a good idea. May be someone will start a thread with that on it in this team.

PAT

NO WEAPON THAT IS FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER.

ISAIAH 54:17




Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food. ...Hippocrates


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SUZIE021's Photo SUZIE021 Posts: 39
11/28/06 2:28 P

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We do tend to be the hardest on ourselves. I know I do negative talk all the time to myself. I guess maybe that would be one of the goals we can add to help be better people. I would never talk to anyone else like that. If anything I would be supportive and encouraging but not when it comes to me. We can start by saying one positive thing to ourselves everyday.

Goals:
Drink more water
lose 25 pounds by Memorial Day


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GODZDESIGN95's Photo GODZDESIGN95 SparkPoints: (94,093)
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11/28/06 2:24 P

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This hurts but this is true. I too have been sort of a hypocrite encouraging others but slipping myself. I know as a christain it's the enemy at work. I must walk in the spirit and not the flesh. I'm praying for strength for myself and others.

PAT

NO WEAPON THAT IS FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER.

ISAIAH 54:17




Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food. ...Hippocrates


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KATHRYN_HOWARD's Photo KATHRYN_HOWARD Posts: 217
11/28/06 1:52 P

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Yes,this makes perfect sense! I have just stopped abusing myself this month, when "whatever" finally clicked and I got into a good pattern again with focused eating. Up until that time, I was mourning my 50lb weight relapse and feeling like a giant loser and hypocrite because I couldn't keep it off. But I'm back in the game and feeling really positive - and it's been a LONG time coming. I really feel like I'm treating myself the way I should be: taking time for myself, planning good meals, cooking healthfully, occupying my time with healthful activities. And it feels great. I know I'm probably coming off sounding totally obnoxious (sorry!), but I'm really feeling great that I'm NOT abusing myself anymore. I just have to keep this train rolling...

It can be done.


 
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WANT2LUVMEAGAIN's Photo WANT2LUVMEAGAIN Posts: 4,059
11/28/06 1:44 P

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on another thread i wrote about something that i have been thinking about for a while. when we overeat we are physically abusing ourselves. we would not let anyone else do that to us- why do we do it to ourselves? do we not feel worthy of being happy and healthy? do we hate ourselves so much that we want to self destruct? same thing with negative thoughts- that is verbal abuse. on this site we all give encouragement and support for others, but do we do the same thing for ourselves? sometimes i feel like a hypocrit when i give advice and i am not following it myself. at work we teach coping skills to kids with behavioral problems so they dont have to resort to physical or verbal abuse towards others. they learn other ways to cope with emotions. seems i need to pay more attention to what i am teaching those kids and apply it to myself. i really think that i need to love myself more and not let the negative talk lead me to self destruction. does this make sense to anyone else???

GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND MOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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