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JANEDOE12345's Photo JANEDOE12345 SparkPoints: (73,734)
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1/18/08 11:31 A

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Neek, what has to be done to support me? Just what's happening now: communication. Other voices are profoundly meaningful to me, whether I am in pain and need comfort, being stupid and need a nudge, or being strong and need to siphon off the strength to someone else. And I am not much different from all of us who work toward a goal. I think every single one of us is isolated by our weight (maybe among other issues) and the back-and-forth at Spark is helping us reduce the alone-ness. Although ultimately it's MY weight and MY issue, I can't succeed if I isolate myself (which I tend to do).

Phew! Long fancy answer!
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How you anything is how you do everything...but don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

"Nobody wins unless everybody wins."



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SNOOKS04's Photo SNOOKS04 SparkPoints: (0)
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1/17/08 11:10 P

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I'm sorry, I know we aren't supposed to change ourselves for anybody but us but I still have to do this. Picture me on a football field wih my pom poms and a marching band behind me spelling out your name Ready? YAHOO!!!!! GOOD JOB!!!!! LOSING 25 POUNDS IS ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND YOU SHOULD BE TERRIBLY PROUD OF YOURSELF!!! WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!! There, just so you know I will cheer for you for every pound you lose! Now just promise you will do the same for me:)

Edited by: SNOOKS04 at: 1/17/2008 (23:10)

*Ande* Team Leader of The Des Moines Sparkers


You are who you think you are so think you are the greatest human being ever!


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NEEKIBEAR's Photo NEEKIBEAR SparkPoints: (2,977)
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1/17/08 10:43 A

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Great work at discovering your core issue! emoticon

Now that you've identified the issue, what positive things can you do (and how can we support you) to improve how you feel about yourself?

Keep doing the work!

When you realize who you are, you understand that nothing can stop you from becoming that person. - Christine Lincoln


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JANEDOE12345's Photo JANEDOE12345 SparkPoints: (73,734)
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1/17/08 10:21 A

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I am noticing that my original issue has evolved into something much more meaningful. Simple problem: Crappy work day. Then when we all got into it, it evolved into the real issue: Losing weight is a self esteem thing. So isn't it magnificent that this core issue has been uncovered? Boy, what a lot of astute people hang around here.
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How you anything is how you do everything...but don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

"Nobody wins unless everybody wins."



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NEEKIBEAR's Photo NEEKIBEAR SparkPoints: (2,977)
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1/17/08 8:57 A

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I understand about wanting others to notice our weight loss. Unfortunately, we get too much of self esteem from what others think. But let's look at the term - it starts with the word "self." Don't lose weight for anyone but yourself. Celebrate YOUR successes. Come here and share how you are doing and let positive people who know what you are going through cheer you on!

Keep taking it one day at a time. It takes lots of little steps to add up the journey!

Sending you all the best because you deserve it (as do we all)!

When you realize who you are, you understand that nothing can stop you from becoming that person. - Christine Lincoln


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JANEDOE12345's Photo JANEDOE12345 SparkPoints: (73,734)
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1/17/08 8:46 A

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Journaling is a great idea. I do not do it now and you made me think it might help. Another thing: I subconsciously expect everyone to notice my weight loss and be supportive. HAH. They don't and really, that is appropriate. It's MY issue, no one else's. But underneath my skin, I would like the world to clap and holler with my triumphant victories. (Not too egocentric, huh?) I have to keep conscious of the reality that MY life is MINE, and if I don't want to get into political snarls and have to keep a distance from people, then I can hardly involve them in my dieting. This seems so elementary after I write that out! PS to IDREAMS: I once worked as a phone CSR for a very long 1 1/2 years. Unspeakable rudeness, lies and whacko's. Kudos to you for hanging in there!

How you anything is how you do everything...but don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

"Nobody wins unless everybody wins."



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1/16/08 9:06 P

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Journaling could also be a tool that you use to deal with work stress. It would give you an opportunity to write out what you are feeling and you could even use it as a means to write down the conversations you would like to have with folks at work that might not be politically correct if they happened in person. I find that when I write out my feelings, I get in touch with what I am actually feeling, can vent in a safe way, and it allows me to put it all down on paper and then leave it there and walk away from it.

Best of luck to you!

When you realize who you are, you understand that nothing can stop you from becoming that person. - Christine Lincoln


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1DREAMS's Photo 1DREAMS SparkPoints: (0)
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1/16/08 8:55 P

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I know what you are saying about coming home with your work stresses. I come home evey night from a call center I work customer service. And it is horribly stressful.. My husband works afternoons so I have no way of venting from a bad day.. I too found comfort in eating and not really realizing I was doing it..

Since I started coming here I seem to be more aware of what I am doing.. and just acknowledging it seems to help. First thing I do after catering to animals is cook myself a meal.. That way I am full and not as apt to run for comfort food.. I also leave fruits sitting out for a quick and easy thing to grab., Then with my glass of water in hand I go to the computer and start reading here and it keeps me occupied with other thoughts and I don't seem to think of extra comfort eating at all..

I know everyone is different. we all have to find our own thing that works for us.. Even a refrigerator note that says a gentle reminder like .. "Do You Really?" or "Just Say No" can be the reminder needed..

Good luck on finding your own way that works for you..


01/27/08 -10

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"Every day is a new day with a option of a new start..make the best of it" -Dreamer


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1/16/08 11:06 A

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Good ideas from everyone. The one notion that stands out is the involvement in office politics. That's really the root of it. I need to distance myself. "Be friendly, not friends." Because I live alone, maybe I am listening too hard to those who essentially have no long-term investment in me as a person. Another idea: call up one of my real-life friends and just talk about what is reality. Certainly the work world is not! 8-4:30 is only a PART of my life.


How you anything is how you do everything...but don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

"Nobody wins unless everybody wins."



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MOMOFASKATER's Photo MOMOFASKATER Posts: 2,955
1/16/08 10:56 A

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That is what John has said. I keep quiet now even if it kills me.

ice

icesk8rsmom aka: Deb



Smile all of the time. It keeps people wondering what your up to !


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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/16/08 10:46 A

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I used to get so caught up in office politics and it could be fun, but it was deadly! The LESS people know about you the less they can gossip. My husband has worked for 25 years and people STILL don't know anything about our family!

CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/16/08 10:20 A

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Joy, your are getting a lot of good advice. Only you can make you use it!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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AMEENA5's Photo AMEENA5 Posts: 1,419
1/16/08 10:17 A

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Oh man do I understand PAMZIA! Things are so odd where I work now that I'm constantly getting tension headaches. Then I remembered something:
My best friend gave me a meditation CD. I can listen to it on way into and out of work to calm myself. Listening to it at home helps a lot so I'm going bring it with me out of the house now!

You're better than them because you refuse to sink to their level. Hang in there! We're all here for you!
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"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." -- Douglas Everett


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MOMOFASKATER's Photo MOMOFASKATER Posts: 2,955
1/16/08 10:15 A

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Joy, that is why I started walking when I am at the ice rink. I can't tolerate the backstabbing and gossip (well, I like nice gossip, just not the nasty stuff). They say things and you are sitting right there. I just walk now because it has been to cold to sit in the stands. Thank heavens for that! There are times I would like to take an ice skate or hockey stick and well, never mind. That is why I walk !
icesks8rsmom

icesk8rsmom aka: Deb



Smile all of the time. It keeps people wondering what your up to !


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1/16/08 10:09 A

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WSKINETIC - Good thinking Joy. I never thought of that because I do not like gyms.

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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1/16/08 10:06 A

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I agree the work arrea is not the place to air gripes. That's why sorting out your thoughts on the way to and from to and from work, may make for a better lerr stressful night and day at work. I certainly hope it does for you!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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WSKINETIC's Photo WSKINETIC Posts: 517
1/16/08 10:05 A

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I dont know if this will help but I will throw in my 2cents. I do not handle stress well. I also do not handle office politics well either.

Instead of hitting the fridge or the cupboard, I have started going to the gym. The exercise seems to take the edge of the nerves for me. Could be the distraction too.

The office politics were there before I started working there and I am sure they will be there when I am long gone.... Some people seem to thrive on stabbing each other in the back! Makes it hard for those of us who just dont understand that motivation.

One of the other SP members posted that she meditates, another does yoga, I go to the gym (before you start thinking I am athletic... I am not and the gym thing only started a month ago but it seems to be working).

Take Care
Joy


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KMCDOWELL12's Photo KMCDOWELL12 Posts: 4,184
1/16/08 10:03 A

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In order to heal we need to feel our emotions and not deny them. Your idea was a good one in looking back over your day both the good and the bad. Good luck!

Kaye


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JANEDOE12345's Photo JANEDOE12345 SparkPoints: (73,734)
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1/16/08 9:43 A

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Hi Crotty. Talking to myself would be great, except I don't even really realize I am ticked. Maybe I should review each day as I drive home and articulate exactly what happened, good and bad. Part of my weight issue is this denial habit, where you just ignore how you feel and deny the importance of your feelings. It is kind of passive-aggressive to let myself get bothered and neglect to do anything at the time, except offices are NOT the place to have interventions with those few who are sometimes unbearable. Being upfront is just not done there -- gotta be upfront with myself maybe - cruising along the highway. Maybe it's time to be my own mobile cheerleading unit.
emoticon

How you anything is how you do everything...but don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

"Nobody wins unless everybody wins."



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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/16/08 9:31 A

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Talk to yourself--yes talk to yourself on the way home about your day at work. Review the day and what bothered you about the day. Straightened it out in your head so when you reached home you can be free.
Then go in the house calmly and have a good-problem free dinner.

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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JANEDOE12345's Photo JANEDOE12345 SparkPoints: (73,734)
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1/16/08 9:16 A

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Sometimes the people I work with are cranky and it gets to me so that I take my reactions home and eat too much. I can't always deal directly with problem people in the workplace--sometimes I have to wait them out and things are fine in a day or so. Well...the damage is done when I hit the fridge and have eaten too much before I even figure out that I am REALLY ticked off at them. I get silently frustrated by the office culture, where emotional issues are glossed over. I gotta work there as I usually love it - but this particular element is a big, silent trigger for me. So if anyone has any ideas, glad to hear them. emoticon

How you anything is how you do everything...but don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

"Nobody wins unless everybody wins."



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