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KRAVBABE's Photo KRAVBABE Posts: 1,181
12/30/10 10:35 A

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Glad to hear your starting to feel better. Keep your chin up.

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TAMMYTH64's Photo TAMMYTH64 Posts: 3,810
12/29/10 9:29 P

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I posted a reply to your blog. Hang in there.

emoticon Big Hugs!!! emoticon

Tammy

Co-leader, Tortoises Unite!

I'll keep working at it. I'm worth it. You're worth it too.

Every day is a new day. Gotta keep on keepin' on, no matter what!

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FIERCESTCALM's Photo FIERCESTCALM SparkPoints: (30,806)
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12/29/10 8:55 P

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thanks again for all the support everyone.

I am feeling less dark, now it's just blue. Should know a little something about my blood test results tomorrow. They tried to call me today but I missed the call and called back right after they closed. hoping that will give me some answers.

Marilyn~I'm in Kennesaw, but I grew up in the Hampton/McDonough area.

I am hoping to update my blog very soon and give a little more detailed report.

you're just an empty cage girl, if you kill the bird....Tori Amos.


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SIMPLY-EVA Posts: 1,145
12/28/10 8:12 P

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Hope you're doing alright. There are lots of good meds out there that can help with feelings of depression and anxiety. Take care of yourself for you and for your family.

Eva



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12/28/10 5:06 P

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Hey Kerri, thinking of you... emoticon



Nothing changes unless something changes.

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AMARILYNH's Photo AMARILYNH SparkPoints: (153,674)
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12/28/10 4:49 P

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Kerri, how are you feeling today? I sure hope you are feeling better - the sun is shining in my part of Georgia and that always makes life better (for me at least)! Thinking of and praying for you! Marilyn in GA

Marilyn in LaGrange, GA (EST)
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SUZYMARC's Photo SUZYMARC SparkPoints: (91,272)
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12/27/10 5:49 P

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emoticon emoticon Hang in there and be sure to write down some of your feelings. Sometimes blogging or posting helps get the bottled up feelings out and alleviates the internal pressure. You are not alone, my dad deals with a seasonal depression and most times its about reflecting about your life. Now think of all the positive steps you've taken. Know we are out here, care, and want you to feel back to your old positive self.

I loved seeing the snow fall here too in NC, it reminded me of my childhood up in Massachusetts.



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ERNURSERN's Photo ERNURSERN SparkPoints: (37,186)
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12/27/10 3:16 P

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Kerri...I know how you feel...sometimes I think that during the Christmas season we see people who are OVER THE TOP happy and those of us who are just happy or who are even a little depressed feel horrible...this is Christmas...we are supposed to be HAPPY....I told my husband the other day that we need to realize we are going to have feelings and it is ok..we don't have to feel any differently than we feel ...give yourself permission to be sad it is ok...cry...it helps me sometimes...I have those moments too when I am really sad and I am SO short with those I love...hang in there...it WILL pass!!

~~~ CINDY ~~~

You never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have...

Trust in God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight...

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GYPSY145's Photo GYPSY145 SparkPoints: (28,092)
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12/27/10 11:39 A

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I sympathize with you......feeling bad is bad enough, but when you can't put your finger on a reason, it seems even worse.

I have been having some down times myself recently and even though I have many reasons to be grateful and count my blessings, I still have my bad days. Mine is not related to a chemical inbalance, so that means I have to do the work it takes to dig myself out of those days. I was given a book by Melodie Beatty called "Learning to Let Go" It has been great at helping me get my thinking turned around and I finally realize that "peace is available if we choose it and we can relax and let ourselves feel peace"It's easy to say, but takes practice to do!!
The one saying I learned in Al-Anon was "Let go and let God" and when my thoughts start getting tangled I repeat this several times until I feel calm again. I've also learned that even a 10 minute walk can help turn things around.

I wish the best for you, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other and don't allow yourself to look to far ahead. "One Day at a Time"

Judy

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CAROLYN0107's Photo CAROLYN0107 Posts: 28,355
12/26/10 11:59 P

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Kerri,
I'm glad you reached out to the team. You'll soon have those blood tests back and that will at least answer if one problem is your thyroid hormone regulation. Christmas is exciting but it also brings stresses. You have recently been struggling at work. Again stresses. And you are a college student. All this combined can trigger depression. Do talk with your doctor soon. Also, continue to reach out to the team. You have a lot of support here.
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FIERCESTCALM's Photo FIERCESTCALM SparkPoints: (30,806)
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12/26/10 9:30 P

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Thanks for all the support everyone. I really appreciate all the messages of support and the reminders that I'm not alone.

you're just an empty cage girl, if you kill the bird....Tori Amos.


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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
12/26/10 6:26 P

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Calm--for that is what I wish you were. I have been where you are now. Don't know how I got out of that pit. Maybe by sheer will and determination.
You shouldn't wait to talk to someone so late, you need to get help now. If you wait, your feelings may go away.
when this happens, you tend to forget how you really felt. This is your brain shutting down to protect you.
Sorry I didn't mean to preach to you but I care.
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Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
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PINGUINAPLATA's Photo PINGUINAPLATA Posts: 633
12/26/10 5:30 P

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Firstly, big hugs of loving support to you. You're definitely NOT alone in this. I do believe that most people have suffered from some form of depression at one time or another.

Getting your doctor on board, and having your labs checked is a great start. If your doc feels that you need antidepressants for a while, don't be shy to take them. When needed, they are literally lifesavers.

Some time back, our family went through a tough time and I found myself hardly knowing where to turn. A dear and wise friend told me to just take one day at a time. And if one day was too much to contemplate getting through, then just get through the next hour. I don't know how bad things are with you, it might be a minute to minute thing, but you CAN get through the next minute, then the next hour.

These things do eventually pass. In the meantime, there are Sparkpeople who care.

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SHERYLP461's Photo SHERYLP461 Posts: 11,428
12/26/10 4:53 P

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Oh my I do know how you feel, I spent years battling depression and anxiety attacks until I realized that I didn't enjoy anything. My doctor put me on several anti-depressants until I ended up with one that works. What a life changing experience. I think my dad was depressed too, I think it sometimes runs in families and for those of us that realize it is not supposed to be like this it gets better with help. Please let us know how things turn out for you. I know we all care.
Big Hugs,
sheryl

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look beyond the imperfections."
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AMARILYNH's Photo AMARILYNH SparkPoints: (153,674)
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12/26/10 4:43 P

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Hi Kerri,

Where in the south are you? I'm in LaGrange, GA - it snowed here yesterday (our first Christmas snow ever - well, in my lifetime - too!) No more snow today but it stayed so cold there is some left on the back deck!!

I'll tell you what I tell my daughter when she gets depressed - DO SOMETHING! It doesn't really matter what (for me its usually cleaning house but that's just me - my reasoning is that even if I don't feel better when its done at least I'll have a cleaner house) just DO SOMETHING! I got this advice years ago listening to a tape by Dr. Wayne Dyer and you know what? It usually works!! This isn't going to solve all your problems, but it may provide temporary relief? Meanwhile, DO come back to us - we are here to support you!! We are a team and Together Everyone Achieves More!! And that includes getting moral support!! Marilyn in GA

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NADINEL's Photo NADINEL Posts: 11,672
12/26/10 4:28 P

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Hi Kerri,
Glad you got a white Christmas! How fun! We had a non-rainy one. That was great.
I have dealt with depression off and on for years. Medication made a big difference for me. Call your doctor today or tomorrow and let them know. Its very important. Counseling also helped me.
Be kind to yourself and to your family. You and they are worth it.
Praying for you.
Have a Happy New Year!
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KRAVBABE's Photo KRAVBABE Posts: 1,181
12/26/10 4:08 P

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Hey, battling depression can be hard. I've been there. I was diagnosed, but never got professional help. It was only through the tough love of friends that I pulled through and now have a more positive outlook on things. I was looking at your Spark Page and you have been through a lot. You have so much to be happy for. I know it's hard to see that sometimes.

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LJR4HEALTH's Photo LJR4HEALTH Posts: 32,265
12/26/10 3:55 P

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Hi Kerri It is understandable why you are down right now you have alot on your plate Winter months as well can do alot to a person mood (that is 1 reason I am down in Florida )

Your daughter is totally adorable looks like a little angel but I bet she's a handful emoticon

I can also see why you are anxious on the lab work report I hope all goes well keep us informed you aren't alone Your emoticon are here for you I do truly understand the worry about medical test I too am waiting a verdict Breathe deep & relax as much as you can Hang in there this to shall pass

Linda (Florida - Eastern Standard Time )

I am " (we are) spiritual beings having a human experience " Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

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GARDENCHRIS's Photo GARDENCHRIS SparkPoints: (184,884)
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12/26/10 3:55 P

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Hang in there. I also have dealt with some depression, because one of my children dropped of the face of the earth for 5 years... He came home for Christmas this year!

So I guess what I'd like to leave you with that circumstances change and thing DO get better. Find something that you can hold on to until it comes.

emoticon emoticon



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FULLGROWNWOMAN's Photo FULLGROWNWOMAN SparkPoints: (21,048)
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12/26/10 3:51 P

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Hugs!! I have been there myself and know how hard it is. I lived with depression for years before finally seeking treatment. The best thing that ever happened to me is that I found a cognitive behavioral therapist. He helped me to be able to manage my depression and I now live most days in control and feeling relatively happy.
Whatever path you choose to wellness, I would take that first step right now so that you don't have to live in this kind of darkness.




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FIERCESTCALM's Photo FIERCESTCALM SparkPoints: (30,806)
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12/26/10 3:45 P

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Hi all,

I hope this finds everyone well and enjoying spending time with friends and family. It's funny, because this is my favorite time of the year and I really do LOVE Christmas. I got to have my first white christmas ever!! that was pretty magical and a dream come true. I live in the sunny south and snow rarely ever happens.

But, I am so depressed. I really want to just disappear. I am angry, edgy, disappointed and extremely sad. I've been struggling pretty hardcore lately but have been relatively quiet about it. I need support. I feel really isolated (though I'm not) and snow is falling(which I LOVE) and I feel so empty inside and like I'm going to break into tears at any moment. I've been extremely short and impatient with DD and she deserves better than that.

I got bloodwork done on Thursday, should have the results this week and then will be meeting with my endo on Jan. 11th to discuss all of these symptoms.

thanks to anyone that made it this far.

you're just an empty cage girl, if you kill the bird....Tori Amos.


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