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NANCYANNE55's Photo NANCYANNE55 SparkPoints: (127,189)
Fitness Minutes: (126,605)
Posts: 6,299
5/16/11 9:43 A

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I realize that being miss Grumpy Pants is not going to win me the prize, but I'm a little taken aback by the title "I Deserve a Treat Because". I don't know that I do deserve a treat.

As a matter of fact, I don't think I DESERVE anything. I'm the one who messed up her body in the first place. I lost and regained weight once before and falling into the mindset that I deserved anything is partly why I got fat and out of shape again. When I get started eating crummy stuff I start gaining weight and feeling crummy. Worse yet, eating crummy stuff starts me on a down-hill spiral of eating more crummy stuff, which sets me back in my progress. So for me personally, the mindset that I deserve a treat could turn into a disaster, and I really DON'T deserve that.

What my family deserves, on the other hand, is to have a mom and wife who is as healthy as possible. Like all of the increasingly-angry and indignant people reading this, I had a stupid-busy life. I won't go into it- you understand. There are a lot of things I could be doing other than spending time in the gym 5 days a week. For non-food treats, like a pedicure or massage, I'd need to give that time up because there is no other time to squeeze out of my day. But my family deserves better from me than not being at the top of my game physically- particularly my adult handicapped son. He needs me around to care for him. They deserve better than me making brownies all the time and eating half of the batter before it ever hits the pan- if I go back to doing that I'll most certainly develop the diabetes and heart disease that so prevalently run in my family. They deserve me at my best, and that is what drives me. Not treats.

I guess my treat is a clear conscience, knowing I've done all I can to reverse the damage I did by being unhealthy before. But I don't deserve that- my family does.

Does this mean I never CHOOSE to have a treat? Nope. I do sometimes. I'll have an icecream with the kids or bake cookies with my son and eat a couple on days I feel very strong. But I never, ever feel I deserve one anymore, because I know where that feeling got me.

So why do I post this and not just leave well-enough alone on this board? Why am I being a stick in the mud and making myself a target? Because I know from experience what thinking "I deserve this because... (fill in a reason)" got me. It got me less healthy and stalled my goals. I don't want to see someone else drawn into that way of thinking, if it can be helped. I honestly am doing this to caution people: If you are someone who can feel you deserve a treat and maintain a high level of health and fitness, good for you! But if it's easy for you to fall into a false security that deserving something makes indulgence okay more than on rare occasion, you may want to take another look and then proceed with what you feel is the wisest course of action.

I know this is gonna get me lambasted. I've extreme.... I take it too far.... I'm not moderate enough..... Okay. You are entitled to your opinion. But my goal in being on Spark is to help other people reach their goals, and if posting this helps one other person in their quest for fitness... Well...... THAT's a treat that is priceless to me.

Nancy Anne

 current weight: 180.0 
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