I am learning to say "no". I am working mom of three girls, two dogs, and a husband that had major surgery almost a year ago. I am also Girl Scout leader (last year I had two troops by myself). Uh-uh! I can only do so much, and my body is not cooperating very well right now, so it makes it harder to do anything. I just found out that my sister is staying on as Treasurer of the troop, plus there are two wonderful ladies that are coming on as co-leaders!!
Happily married mother of three girls. Girl Scout parent volunteer
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa
I've become very good at saying no. Too good, perhaps. I don't take on much extra stuff anymore just because I feel maxed out with what I am doing. The extra things I do take on suit me. For instance, I'm not teaching Sunday school or coordinating XYZ banquet. Out of my comfort zone entirely! But I will cook & take food to various events. I will chaperone occasionally.
Honestly I feel a little selfish about this, but I learned about 8 years ago that you can do too much. Working full time and raising a family is A LOT. Serving on different committees and helping out with various organizations burned me out. I won't do it again as long as I'm working full time and have kids still at home.
Pounds lost: 0.5
Fitness Minutes: (2,930) Posts: 2 7/1/12 1:20 P
Hi all. I'm brand-new to this site but so excited about it! I'm also excited about connecting to other working moms...and this topic? Exactly the same thing I struggle with every day. I have been like this all my life. I love to help others and frequently put others' needs in front of my own (hence the weight problem!) But I also discovered that I have an issue with anxiety, mainly caused by too much stress in my life. I am literally "yes-ing" myself to death! While I don't have any real answers to this issue just yet, I am learning to read the cues and to accept the fact that I am not superwoman, nor do I want to be! What I'm going to do is to try to say no once a week. While I feel it will take me longer to not feel guilty about saying no, at least turning down one thing a week might be a great first step in the right direction. Who's with me?!
I used to have a buffer when I was in graduate school, because every time I was asked to do something, I could say "I have to study". And nobody would bother me. Now that I have graduated, I don't have that any more and I just simply have to set my boundaries and say NO. I also had to learn to prioritize all of the activities going on, and decide where I needed to go and where I didn't.
If you wait for PERFECT conditions, you will NEVER get anything done!
This is something I don't believe I will conquer until my children are older and more capable of doing for themselves. There are certain things I have to do or take care of. I just try to balance as best as possible. I only worked out 1 day last week, but at least it was a really good workout. Once the kids are out of school, it actually frees up my schedule a bit and I should be able to do better. I am also trying to go part time at work (if we can tolerate the salary loss) which should help.
Yes - I think I just take on too much - it's in my personality!! I am slowly going to let 'terms' of positions end and not replace them on school council. I'm going to stay in the childrens sport-related ones - specifically the ones where I'm out on the field too as it forces extra activity in me!! You are right - the key is planning around me first, and then this stuff second. It's just a lot - I need to dial it down before I burn out!!
I find that I have to plan my time everyday and make sure that time for myself does not get gobbled up my helping others. I also like to have a meeting with those we are asking me to volunteer and let them know how much time I can actually spend to help them and then do not go over that time. Always place time on your To-DO list to take care of yourself.
Wow!! You have time to volunteer? I am impressed!!
I barely have time to do anything other than work, cook, clean and drive kids around. The last time I volunteered was for my daughter's Nutcracker ballet last December and that was only because no one else was available. I do feel bad when I have to sa no, but I leave most of the volunteer work to stay at home mothers. I just can't do it all and people will have to understand.
Olga ~~~~~~~~~~ It maybe too late to go back and make a new start, but it's not too late to make a new ending.
There are so many requests for my time - so many good, noble volunteer requests, then of course: work requests, family duties, home duties - soooo much that could be done - but I need to be less generous with my time. What do you do when you are approached by the schools, churches, community centres, etc. for help with so many things - where do you draw the line?
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this website can be used without the permission of SparkPeople or its authorized affiliates.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.