I am learning to say "no". I am working mom of three girls, two dogs, and a husband that had major surgery almost a year ago. I am also Girl Scout leader (last year I had two troops by myself). Uh-uh! I can only do so much, and my body is not cooperating very well right now, so it makes it harder to do anything. I just found out that my sister is staying on as Treasurer of the troop, plus there are two wonderful ladies that are coming on as co-leaders!!
Happily married mother of three girls. Girl Scout parent volunteer
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." -Mother Teresa
I've become very good at saying no. Too good, perhaps. I don't take on much extra stuff anymore just because I feel maxed out with what I am doing. The extra things I do take on suit me. For instance, I'm not teaching Sunday school or coordinating XYZ banquet. Out of my comfort zone entirely! But I will cook & take food to various events. I will chaperone occasionally.
Honestly I feel a little selfish about this, but I learned about 8 years ago that you can do too much. Working full time and raising a family is A LOT. Serving on different committees and helping out with various organizations burned me out. I won't do it again as long as I'm working full time and have kids still at home.
Pounds lost: 6.5
Fitness Minutes: (2,930) Posts: 2 7/1/12 1:20 P
Hi all. I'm brand-new to this site but so excited about it! I'm also excited about connecting to other working moms...and this topic? Exactly the same thing I struggle with every day. I have been like this all my life. I love to help others and frequently put others' needs in front of my own (hence the weight problem!) But I also discovered that I have an issue with anxiety, mainly caused by too much stress in my life. I am literally "yes-ing" myself to death! While I don't have any real answers to this issue just yet, I am learning to read the cues and to accept the fact that I am not superwoman, nor do I want to be! What I'm going to do is to try to say no once a week. While I feel it will take me longer to not feel guilty about saying no, at least turning down one thing a week might be a great first step in the right direction. Who's with me?!
I used to have a buffer when I was in graduate school, because every time I was asked to do something, I could say "I have to study". And nobody would bother me. Now that I have graduated, I don't have that any more and I just simply have to set my boundaries and say NO. I also had to learn to prioritize all of the activities going on, and decide where I needed to go and where I didn't.
If you wait for PERFECT conditions, you will NEVER get anything done!
This is something I don't believe I will conquer until my children are older and more capable of doing for themselves. There are certain things I have to do or take care of. I just try to balance as best as possible. I only worked out 1 day last week, but at least it was a really good workout. Once the kids are out of school, it actually frees up my schedule a bit and I should be able to do better. I am also trying to go part time at work (if we can tolerate the salary loss) which should help.
Yes - I think I just take on too much - it's in my personality!! I am slowly going to let 'terms' of positions end and not replace them on school council. I'm going to stay in the childrens sport-related ones - specifically the ones where I'm out on the field too as it forces extra activity in me!! You are right - the key is planning around me first, and then this stuff second. It's just a lot - I need to dial it down before I burn out!!
I find that I have to plan my time everyday and make sure that time for myself does not get gobbled up my helping others. I also like to have a meeting with those we are asking me to volunteer and let them know how much time I can actually spend to help them and then do not go over that time. Always place time on your To-DO list to take care of yourself.
Wow!! You have time to volunteer? I am impressed!!
I barely have time to do anything other than work, cook, clean and drive kids around. The last time I volunteered was for my daughter's Nutcracker ballet last December and that was only because no one else was available. I do feel bad when I have to sa no, but I leave most of the volunteer work to stay at home mothers. I just can't do it all and people will have to understand.
Olga ~~~~~~~~~~ It maybe too late to go back and make a new start, but it's not too late to make a new ending.
There are so many requests for my time - so many good, noble volunteer requests, then of course: work requests, family duties, home duties - soooo much that could be done - but I need to be less generous with my time. What do you do when you are approached by the schools, churches, community centres, etc. for help with so many things - where do you draw the line?
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