I know how you feel. I am so sorry you are having to miss it. My daughter had her band concert last week for Christmas. She is 1st chair in the flute section. They held it on a Thursday night, and I work every Thursday. I told her I wouldn't be able to go, and I could tell in her tone of voice that she was so disappointed - she just got upset and said "fine, I just won't go - it's not that big of a deal". But I could tell by her tone that it was a big deal. A wonderful lady from church took her and my nanny took her brothers and sister. My husband also had to work and missed it. I have felt really depressed these last couple of months as well because it seems like I have to miss out on so much with my children. Also, I have gained back 18 pounds in the last 4 months because of eating like garbage at 3:00 am when I'm tired, cold, and doing whatever I can to stay awake at work. Also, my sleep has been suffering during the day. Sometimes I can only sleep 3 or 4 hours and then my body wakes me up and I'm wide awake and then dead tired later at work in the middle of the night.
I wish I had magic words to tell you that would stop the hurting and anger, but there aren't really any. This is life and we have to do things to survive and take care of our families. You are supporting her even though you may not feel like it. Without you working, she may not be able to enjoy the dancing and other things she is involved with because of lack of funds. I have been there so many times. It is so hard to tell the kids they can't do something because you can't afford it - especially when all their friends can do it and they feel left out. Maybe that can be a small consolation anyway.
I hope you feel better. Good luck.
Lisa L. South, RN
| Pounds lost: 66.4