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6/1/17 5:55 A

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Hot hot day today but fortunately, the morning was not too bad...

Hope you are doing okay, my kawan.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/31/17 5:46 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

When do I emoticon you back again?

Take care and beeeeeeg hugs, Prema

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5/30/17 5:14 A

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Hi Koshie....I am officially getting a little worried about you. Praying that your problems are not worse we both imagined....
emoticon and beeeeeeg emoticon , Prema


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5/29/17 3:30 A

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Great workout with Moskito today....a murder most foul was almost undertaken today but I held back....

Have a great trip back home, Koshie...

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/28/17 9:03 A

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emoticon great day...god-daughter and grandson came over for a visit...

Beeeeeg Hugs,
Prema

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5/26/17 6:17 A

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Hi Koshie.

You should be on your way back home if everything has gone according to plan. You will be pleased to know that neither animals nor humans were troubled by me during your absence. This was primarily due to the fact that MM is away and I am therefore feeling very good. This good feeling will most probably expire on Sunday when MM returns...

Great workout. Core feels completely worked over. Feeling of murder towards Moskito drastically reduced....

Have a good weekend, Koshie.

Beeeeeeg emoticon , Prema

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5/25/17 5:52 A

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Hi Koshie. Hope everything is going okay for you.

Had a good run this morning. The weather was very kind to me. Hope you get a chance to get a long walk etc to make you feel better.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/24/17 6:33 A

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Moskito had to take off today and one would imagine that I would take advantage of the opportunity to emoticon in a bit longer.

Like clockwork, the body woke up as usual and zombied itself to the gym and did a workout... emoticon .... I am soooooo pathetic!!!

Hope you are doing okay, Koshie....

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/23/17 4:30 A

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emoticon my dear kawan.

And hoping that everything is progressing smoothly for you.

Good run this morning...the weather was sublime! Hope it is for you and your budding lilies. Take care and God Bless.

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/22/17 4:01 A

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emoticon emoticon .... heavy gym workout with Moskito....back to wanting to commit murder in the 1st degree....

Here's big emoticon to you and wishing you a safe trip to see your mum.

God Bless, Prema

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5/21/17 6:41 A

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Too hot today. Ran a bit earlier and the heat still got to me....



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5/19/17 6:17 A

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Hey, my kawan, you will be leaving today to see your mum for a week, right?

Take care my friend and have a safe journey and with good news on your return journey.

emoticon emoticon


God Bless. Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/18/17 11:51 A

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emoticon for you!
emoticon for me!

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5/18/17 4:56 A

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Hi Koshie. I have flat abs if that's what you mean. Even my kids are disgusted with my abs and tell me that it's not fair to compare their fitness level to mine and that it should be compared to an average Malaysian 57 year old lady!! emoticon

How terrible for you, in the middle of spring and just before summer, and just at the time when you are planting lily bulbs, that the weather man tells you it's going to snow!! Our weather man tells us that we will be facing hot weather until September...one can only hope that we will be faced with haze at any point in time or water rationing. Our government does not realize that we will become the laughing stock for the world when they find out that an equatorial country like Malaysia needs to practice water rationing because rain has not fallen over the catchment areas!! emoticon

Have a good one today, my kawan. Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/18/17 12:46 A

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I'd never even heard of suspended plank, so I Googled it before replying....
O.
M.
G.
!!!
This is torture! My kawan you poor thing; if you don't kill him, I will! UNLESS........
I see a pix posted of your (they have to be!) AMAZING abs! emoticon

I am aching and stiff. MM, DD, and I spent time beginning the clean-up of our wrecked pool. MM hired a man to do the heavy lifting of removing the big slabs of coping rock that had fallen into the pool as well as the pool cover -- but the scrubbing and sweeping and removal of debris is up to us. After removing 3 full trash bags of the stuff, we all called it quits for the day -- well, at least the working-on-the-pool part of the day! For me. The others were DONE. I stayed outside and dug up a part of the garden and planted 30 lily bulbs. It started raining. I worked on. I had to! I'm leaving soon and if I didn't get them planted NOW I may have just as well thrown them away because no one else was going to do it!
Tomorrow (can you BELIEVE it! ), we are expecting a couple inches of snow and the beginning of 4 days of freezing temperatures. emoticon I am sick at heart. The last freeze destroyed most (all?) of my newly emerging iris buds. A month later, There is ONE single lonely blossom and maybe a few buds now emerging that weren't frozen. And now THIS! This FREEZE just in time to kill all the remaining hope of blossoms! And I hated having to plant the lilies just before a freeze! emoticon Who knows if they'll make it through alive! But planted, they have a whisper of a chance of living instead of being thrown away immediately or when dead after a month of storage!

Thanks for the compliments. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Beeeeeeeeg hugs, Koshie

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5/17/17 7:11 A

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My dear kawan,
You have, on your own, carved out your a huge amount of courage through the pain and despair of a marriage that is not going well. You have, single-handedly, succeeded in getting your DD to consider better possibilities in life. Your son and daughter-in-law, know that they have quiet support in you as does your mum.
What a goodhearted person you are, and how generous you are with your time when you can manage the time.
So my kawan, I am just giving you many reasons to smile about yourself.

At any point, when you return to see your mum, and there are others trying to sap your energy, be mindful of the fact that there are many others who appreciate the energy you give them and would like to return some of this energy when you need it the most.

You are....a GOOD person.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

PS Moskito used the TRX to make me do a suspended plank. I know which part of his anatomy I would like to suspend in the TRX!!!
It hurt....it does not matter that my core has never been stronger....IT HURT. Whining and whingeing time.... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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5/16/17 1:28 P

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You make me smile and laugh on a regular basis! What a wonderful gift you have and you are so generous in using it!

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5/16/17 5:56 A

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For only ONE week....surely, I can get through ONE week without committing murder or creating anarchy....surely...surely, I jest!!!!
If I feel like committing murder, I assure you I will have one of the cocktails I learnt about and ensure that my mood stays high....for the duration of the week!!

Anyway, I am a cheap drunk. It will not take me more than one cocktail or 2 small glasses of wine to get me happy!!

Do what you can, Koshie. The rest will sort itself out. Don't worry....

Have a good one today, Koshie.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema



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5/15/17 4:02 P

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mmmm.... we experienced ginger beer for the first time 2 (3?) years ago in the Virgin Islands. Oh wow! We were all hooked! So while all those cocktails sound delightful, El Violetta has a strong head-start for my heart! emoticon
Well there's a cautious promise! So you'll promise you'll be good (or at least discreet!) for only ONE week out of 4?!? (rolling eyes!)(and grinning!) Poor MM and M(oskito)!

Yes, I leave Friday morning. I'm already stressing, with the need to get too much done! emoticon

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5/15/17 5:55 A

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Hi Koshie. We made 3 cocktails - El Violetta (gin, violet syrup, lime juice, ginger beer) followed by Bahamas Mama (cognac, falernum syrup, lime juice, orange juice and grenadine syrup) and concluded the event with Fairy Godmother (whiskey, amaretto, apricot brandy and apple juice).
Incredible experience.... emoticon emoticon

Good to be just focusing on your mum and her home front during that period. There is nothing than can happen that will warrant anyone's attention or concern for the next one week, I promise you.

Have a great start to the week, Koshie and let me know when you leave (Friday, wasn't it?).

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema



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5/15/17 1:47 A

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Yup -- going into hyper-drive..... NOW! emoticon
I will definitely be out-of-touch at Mom's house; nor is it particularly worth my time and effort to try to get to, find parking; pay for, and learn how to actually DO it (use a public computer-for-rent). Unless you are seriously planning to undertake some previously unmentioned drastic action (example: shortening certain MMs' lives within one month's time), I really won't be missing anything online! I will come back to a severely overwhelming backlog of mostly "junk" e-mails; but all that means is a week of being very strict with myself and deleting things "en mass" instead of indulging my curiosity. And I probably need that discipline!

A cocktail workshop with your son sounds divinely fun! So what are your and his two new specialties? I'm fond of Velvet Hammers and Pina Coladas (sweet dessert drinks I can't afford calorie-wise to drink any more) so now I'm simplifying to an elderflower liqueur-and-tonic drink. MM's is frozen margaritas. DD is experimenting with flavored vodkas. I taught her how to make a "Flaming Flag" (layered liqueurs with the top layer set on fire), but we agreed that even though it certainly was a spectacle, it really didn't taste good. Ooooohhhh, this sounds like we drink a lot! We make these drinks once, maybe twice a year! And on top of this, we drink a glass of wine maybe 2-3 times a year. So we're not tee-totalers! Anyway, you'd think we drink a lot. We've got wine bottles everywhere. One son works as a wine company representative (sales) and he is always bringing us a bottle to try....and of course, as Christmas and birthday gifts. I really need to try harder to remember to chill a bottle and open it at dinner-time......

BEEEeeeeeeeeeeg HUGS!
Koshie

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5/14/17 10:05 A

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Hi Koshie.

You are going away for one month. I hope I get a chance to hear from you but something tells me you are going to be far more busy than you and I both can imagine.

Happy Mummy's Day, my kawan. My son and I went for a cocktail workshop. So much fun!!

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/13/17 5:53 P

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emoticon

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5/13/17 1:46 A

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Hey girl!
I've made and cancelled 3 plane tix -- but I think this is the final one! I FINALLY have plane tix to go see Mom. In other words, enough 'progress' has been made so that I have some reliable dates to use! I'm leaving next Friday, and I will be gone for one month, almost exactly!
Mom is doing very well. She had the tubes removed from her chest 2 days ago and feels MUCH better now. She was actually out shopping today -- all day, she said! I suppose she does need new.... tops and blouses. I just can't imagine..... emoticon emoticon But I am SO impressed (and a little worried) with my mom's "super trouper" attitude! I DO hope she is HONESTLY making her peace with her loss rather than pretending for our sakes that everything is just "fine."

OMG! emoticon That is the EXACT behavior! "Infringing on my territory!" emoticon I wonder is this a guy-thing or an age-thing? EWwwww! emoticon Neither is "better"! It is so nice to know (sorry!) that I'm not the only one dealing with the World's Worst Man! You know what I mean!

This Sunday is Mother's Day. Tomorrow, I'm going to a small party, and I shall buy myself some flowers. Later, I plan on a nice long bubble bath with a nice glass of bubbly to keep things light! I suppose Sunday that MM and DD will want to take me out for dinner. DD will probably offer to cook me a diet dessert -- and that will be VERY nice!

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5/12/17 4:29 A

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Good to hear from you, Koshie. Of course I understand.

By the way, my MM is behaving exactly like your MM....getting worse than useless day-by-day!! It does not bother me either except when he infringes into my territory. He's worse than a teenager these days especially with his phone. God knows what he's doing...not that I care really.

Like you, I smile too!!!!

Have a good weekend, my kawan. Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema




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5/11/17 3:30 P

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Sorry. I'm just SO busy! And once I sit down to the computer, it gobbles up SO much of my time -- especially SparkPeople. So I've been too busy to look at my computer for 2 days, and actively avoided it on the other day!
No worries -- just trying to get everything DONE before I leave! And new things occasionally crop up. One must continue living you know! I'm fine. I'm glad to know that MM is behaving himself; mine is acting like a tantrum-throwing 2 year-old right now. It's fine though... I just keep the 2yo pix of him in mind and it doesn't throw me at all! I might smile though! emoticon

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5/11/17 5:30 A

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Okay, now I am getting worried.

You okay kawan? emoticon emoticon

All good at my end....

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/10/17 7:55 A

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Hi Koshie. How are you doing?

It was a really emoticon day today. Fortunately, it was gym day and no my running day.
When will you be leaving to see your mum?

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/9/17 1:33 A

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Koshie, that is soooooo good to know. And yes, I agree with you. You should just go. Love the way we both think alike in this matter..... emoticon emoticon
Your mum will be very happy to see you.

Have a good one today....Beeeeeeg emoticon , Prema

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5/8/17 4:03 P

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Chin up, smile, look the other way at something enjoyable! Or go for a run!
My mom is doing very well by all reports; now my sister says she probably won't even need me. But I'm going to go anyway! emoticon

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5/8/17 6:12 A

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Had a wonderful weekend without MM....he returns today.... emoticon

Hope everything is well with you.... emoticon

Beeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/7/17 1:46 A

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Hi Koshie.

Moskito and I are still doing great. He tortures me 3x a week. I scream bloody murder 3x a week. He gets to pack some food from my house 3x a week. And on the 3 other days when I don't see him and run instead, I think of him very kindly after I finish my run.
That's how our relationship thrives.... emoticon

And you have your motivation...your DD....go for it!!

Have a great weekend, my dear kawan. Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/6/17 11:45 P

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5/5/17 11:48 P

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How's Moskito treating you? emoticon

DD is already at 180. We shall have to support one another in achieving our goals together! Even if it is just baby steps! emoticon

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5/5/17 6:24 A

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emoticon emoticon ..... hooray, Koshie's mum. Way to go, girl!!

And now, it's time for us to deal with your lovely spring chicken daughter and motivate her to go all out to reach 190 pounds by September 2017....now, does that sound like a plan or does that sound like a plan? Huh? Huh?
Koshie, you are the sort of person who can achieve anything and everything the moment you set your mind to the task at hand. You can do this. And I am behind you all the way. And here's keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you will not require surgery for your Morton's neuroma.... emoticon

Have a great weekend ahead of you, my kawan....

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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5/4/17 1:41 P

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emoticon ....I'll relay the message! Mom is doing well, considering.

Meanwhile... I've been struggling diet-wise for the last 6 months. Motivation and self-control has been low and I gained lots of weight over the holidays. I'm FINALLY starting to feel like I'm making progress again -- well, progressing in self-control. Yesterday, I had to go and buy sufficient clothing appropriate to the sub-tropical climate of my home-town -- so I'd have something that FIT. I'd previously gotten rid of all my larger size clothing and I confess to stalling as long as possible hoping to avoid the necessity of buying them again.

I've developed foot pain (Morton's neuroma) and I wouldn't at all be surprised if it is due to my weight gain. Well, that's further motivation to practice some self-discipline! Unfortunately, while it can get worse, it almost never gets better without surgery, I'm told. ...Checking out orthotics this morning! When will I ever learn!


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5/4/17 4:59 A

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My dear kawan,

You just do your best;
And God will do the rest...

emoticon , Koshie's mum. You have an amazing daughter.. emoticon ...the best!!

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema


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5/3/17 11:47 P

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My mom says thank you for praying for her!
And you're right waiting for news is HARD!
emoticon
I am doing what I can to prepare for leaving home ~ May 18th, to go take care of her. Busy!

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5/3/17 6:16 A

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Hi Koshie. I thought I replied to you yesterday but obviously the tech ghost swallowed the message!
First of all, I am so glad that I was completely wrong and it was a case of an unhappy bowel system and nothing else. What a relief!!

My prayers go out to you and your mum....hoping that the cancer has not metastasised anywhere else. Waiting is the hardest at this juncture.... emoticon

God Bless, Prema

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5/2/17 4:53 P

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Mom is in surgery right now....
we will know after her bilateral mastectomy is done whether or not the cancer has spread.

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5/2/17 1:51 A

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So.... it was probably something I ate -- I had loose bowels today. And it is late but I do feel better. Maybe I'll actually get some good sleep tonight!

Mom's surgery is tomorrow (today for you!).She's having a bilateral mastectomy. Only after surgery will we know if she will need chemotherapy for 6 months. My 2 sisters and 1 of my brothers are with her. If all goes well, she will be allowed to go home in a week, if she feels up to a 7-hour ride in the car! Then 1 sister and 2 brothers will stay with her for 2 weeks, and THEN I will be needed. Probably. Again, this is assuming all goes well. I'll know more after surgery. emoticon



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5/1/17 5:53 A

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Hi Koshie.
Your inability to sleep and loss of appetite are a concern. Something is not right, my friend. it's not that you are worried or upset about anything in particular. It feels like you are down, quite down in the dumps and you are not quite able to find something, anything, to make you feel better about your life just yet. It's all a little overwhelming right now for you, isn't it?

It's not that you lack the capability or the capacity to solve the problems. It's just when you try and see ahead, the situation appears somewhat overwhelming....

My dear kawan, I will pray for you. I know God does not give us more problems than we can handle, but perhaps sometimes it feels like God over-estimated our ability to handle a whole series of "downs". Been there and told God the same thing I am telling you. And guess what...even when the door seemed to close completely, a window or two opened up for me. And they will...for you...very soon.
emoticon
emoticon

Beeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/30/17 10:59 A

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We finally got our snow...

Peculiarly, I have not felt well emoticon and I have felt extremely tired all weekend without any excuse. I find myself slumped in my chair, eyes closed, "resting" on the verge of sleep. I fell asleep emoticon watching a movie at home. Of course, sleep could not be obtained when I actually tried to take a nap (I sleep during the day so rarely that it is best described as "never!"), nor have I gotten a good night's sleep. It is SO much better to have a reason -- like you -- to be exhausted! Nor do I want to eat. I suppose I must have caught something (illness) -- it feels sort of like a very mild hangover, but I haven't had any alcohol!
Well, thank goodness I feel a bit better this morning despite only 5 hours sleep.

Get some rest, Prema --- and then get some more!
emoticon

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4/30/17 10:25 A

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My dear kawan....I would drive even further for you. Any time! Your friends have no clue what they are missing....great company. good food and the chance to develop and deepen an incredible friendship with an amazing lady....their loss!!

I had a good trip to Penang. Very exhausted. Will write to you again tomorrow.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/29/17 2:22 A

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It's late and Im really tired.
Yes, girls expeditions are a lot of fun; but they are a lot of work. My sister used to organize them once a year. It was hard to pick a date suitable for everyone -- picky picky! Too far in advance and no one wants to commit; too soon and other plans have been made. I roll my eyes in exasperation! I tried to organize one and I just picked a date far in advance and told everyone and invited them to come if they could (I was going to provide free accommodations for the first 7 to accept) and you'd think I had insulted them for not considering their own specific schedule! I don't need that! I grew up with a different idea of waht constitutes good manners...

And no one wants to come to my home -- it is "too far to drive." emoticon Never mind that I drive this distance 3 times a week. So I've stopped inviting them here. I planned a birthday party (for myself) at a favorite restaurant of mine that was coincidentally about half of the distance between where most of them live and where I live, and even that (a 15-minute drive) was too much for most of them or so they said.... and I know they drive that far! emoticon One lady told me she'd come if I changed my chosen spot to HER favorite restaurant! It is these sorts of things that make me limit my "friendships" among this particular social circle I have here in Colorado -- the group with which I exercise 3 times a week. Again... manners! I just don't understand theirs!
Obviously, I keep my eyes open to looking for chances to form other friendships, but it is difficult. Friendship formation requires TWO people willing to make an effort consistently -- and everybody seems to want to make friends -- as long as the other person (me) does all the work. I just don't call that a friendship. emoticon

Anyway.... Spring in Colorado is the time when the area gets its MOST snow. We had a VERY dry winter, Even the spring has been dry so far, with only ONE substantial snow. So, with the unsusual early warmth, Spring sprung early! We need the water. Listening to Colorado natives, it used to be that it might snow even in Summer. I've never seen that happen, but there have been the odd occasions when we would get an untimely cold front passing through! Or at least, it seemed weird to me! But that hasn't happened the last few years. Yes, I do think the climate is changing!
I was out having lunch today with my firend, sitting in the sunshine, when the cold front moved in and it started snowing big BIG wet lumps. Weathermen have been predicting a lot of snow, so we were prepared to move indoors, seeing the heavy dark clouds. What surprised me was that 30 minutes later, the front has passed and the sky was clear and the air was warm again.... and yeah, things were damp, but there was no snow! I wonder what tomorrow will bring. This was supposed to be a big snow dump! emoticon

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4/28/17 6:52 A

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Hi Koshie. Atta' girl.... emoticon emoticon emoticon
Connect with your girlfriends....that is truly amazing and loads of fun. Most of my girlfriends, even those who are happily married, have more fun these days with their girlfriends than they do with their husbands especially when it comes to holidays. The girls, as they get older, seem to be more flexible and more adventurous. And even if the day turns out crummy because of weather or whatever, they are still able to have fun!!
So, many of my girlfriends are actually going in a group of "ladies only" when they want to go on a break.
I hope to join them soon on one of these expeditions.

I presented to a new client and went through the portfolio of an existing client. And both went off better than expected.

Aren't you guys heading towards summer soon? How can you have snow between spring and summer - is that normal? Right now in Malaysia, we have been experiencing thunderstorms in a month that is usually dry. Are we going through climate change or are we not?

Here's hoping that your bugs die and your iris thrive.

Have a good weekend, my kawan.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/28/17 12:16 A

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whoa -- another parallel! emoticon I have not celebrated our last 5 anniversaries either! I left town the previous 4 times, conveniently. But this time certainly gave me to understand that there was no awkwardness at all in being present.

I met a friend for lunch today and I'm meeting another after exercise tomorrow, for lunch again! And on Monday, still another friend accompanied me to the movies -- an impromptu get-together. 3 in one week! Before this week, I haven't gotten together with any friend since before Xmas -- except that I went out-of-town! The support has been timely!

I'm pleased you made progress. Were you presenting to old/new clients in Singapore? LOL. I fly an hour in any direction and here I am still in the good old USA!

We are actually expecting SNOW tomorrow! emoticon We've had 6 weeks of SPRI-III-INGggggg springing up all over, and now it is going to snow? That's going to kill most of these lovely tender blossoms everywhere, darn it! emoticon And it will kill the lilac blooms too -- I was driving today with the windows open and caught their fragrance wafting through the windows! I noted 2 days ago that my iris have budded -- I hope that they will be hardy enough to make it through the freeze. I want to take photos of them in bloom to have when we put the house on the market.
Well, it is what it is. Perhaps the unexpected freeze will kill unpleasant bugs aborning. I'm all in favor of that! Always try to look for the silver lining in the cloud!
emoticon



Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 4/28/2017 (00:28)
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4/27/17 10:24 A

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Hi Koshie. I understand exactly how you feel. I stopped celebrating my wedding anniversary about 5 years ago myself as I felt that it was a farce....I had tried everything to help the marriage through and finally faced up to the fact that it was dead. You did the right thing, my friend...it's time for you to think of YOU...

Both meetings turned out well. I was very happy with the progress. I just may have to go to Singapore again, which is alright, it's only an hour away by flight. So not a problem.

Have a good one today, my kawan....

Beeeeeeg emoticon emoticon , Prema

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4/27/17 12:16 A

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Travis and Tiffany

Yes, today was a better day -- a VERY busy one! After exercise, I asked the ladies to join me in a short prayer regarding Tiffany's pregnancy. Everyone was eager to join in. Later, I spent HOURS shopping. .....Saved a bundle on some clothes and gifts for the future. It was better than going home to awkwardness. Today was my 30th wedding anniversary. I don't know whether MM remembered or not, but this time I decided not to mention it, nor to get him a gift. I did get MM an engraved gift for our 25th and he had completely forgotten and never did get me anything... but if he HAD remembered to honor the occasion today somehow, it would've been awkward since I chose to ignore it. I figured that was better for MY feelings today ! emoticon

So what makes one meeting easy and another hard?


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4/26/17 4:25 A

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I hope you are having a better day today, my kawan...... emoticon
By the way, what are the names of your son and daughter-in-law? That may be better than saying "Koshie, her son and her daughter-in-law"....

I am off to Singapore tomorrow for just the day - one easy meeting and one very difficult meeting. I shall hang in there just as you will hang in there, too.

God Bless and Beeeeeeeeeg emoticon , Prema

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4/25/17 1:36 P

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Our Holy Bible states "...Where 2 or 3 are gathered in My name, I am with you." And given the multi-denominational religious prayer gatherings around the world, I think it is safe to say that there is "power in numbers" regardless of affiliation! I do believe in the power of prayer. And thank you, I appreciate your joining with me in prayer.

Beeeeeeg hugs to you too!



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4/25/17 8:14 A

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Oh dear, Koshie..... emoticon emoticon

It looks like this is now the time for prayers from across the miles and all around. It's one thing having to deal with the anxiety about your mum. It's quite another for 2 young people to deal with potentially bad news like this....it can be quite quite challenging to pull through the next few months waiting in anticipation....

I pray every morning in my prayer room (I am a Hindu) and at night....I will make sure I remember all 3 of you in my prayers and I will especially ask that you be given all the tenacity and courage you will need to be able to pull through the coming months. I know you will stay strong when it matters the most....but no harm in asking de person upstairs to assist you in this. God Bless.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

Edited by: PREMAMEHROTRA at: 4/25/2017 (08:19)
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4/24/17 6:31 P

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In an odd way, I wish things would hurry up and be decided. I'm not good at being anxious! emoticon
I also am getting bad news from my son regarding their second pregnancy (and still no babies yet). The umbilical cord attachment to the placenta is in a dangerous place AND DDiL is carrying the baby too low AND they have discovered a cyst on the back of the baby's head which is often associated with genetic abnormalities. Stress and worry instead of joy. I feel so bad for them! emoticon So I pray that God will deliver them the child He chooses for them, with as little pain as possible.

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4/24/17 4:02 A

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emoticon emoticon

My dear kawan, I have come to realise that even when we are strong, we still get assailed and derailed by uncertainty, worry and a lack of confidence in our own ability to manage. Your confidence and mine stem from the fact that we know we have to step up all the time, whether for our children or for ourselves, family members and friends,....we have always been the first to step up and take the initiative.
But that can be scary as hell. Big time. Been there. Done that. Many times. Like you....

In all our communication, I am aware, again and again, just how much more you are capable of than you are aware of and I can hardly wait for you to go out there, grab the world by the horns and realise all the potential in you. Even your MM and your older brother will have to admit, albeit grudgingly, to themselves, that you are the real deal!!

So hang in there. Do what you have to do. And all will be well.

Beeeeeeeeg beeeeeeeeg emoticon . emoticon



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4/23/17 7:27 P

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Prema, thank you for all your words of support. You had no idea, but you were with me yesterday when the tears emoticon of fears finally came. I do wonder how I can be 60 and feel emotionally like a teenager. I wonder if I still think like a teenager. I wonder how I can be stuck in this aging body! I worry that my mom thinks the same way -- " How can this 'aging stuff' be happening to ME? I'm too young for this!" -- and is unprepared for what IS happening. I worry that I am unprepared for what is happening, to me, to her...
But yesterday you were there with your words of wisdom reassuring me that I am strong. I just wanted to let you know that your friendship means a lot to me, even "in real life." Thanks again.
emoticon

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 4/23/2017 (19:28)
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4/23/17 5:13 A

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I like the dark stranger coming into my life.... emoticon emoticon

I hope your mum surprises everyone by turning around and recovering and getting to live well into her 90s in good health. It's tough to go through life for many years in poor health and bed-ridden. You, my kawan, are a very good and supportive daughter.... emoticon

Have yourself a great Sunday. Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/22/17 2:25 P

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emoticon

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4/22/17 1:36 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
rubber duckies for your gazing pool, quack quack quack! So much more tasteful than pink flamingoes, eh?

My mother has been in very good health for a long time. I hope that I am not simply putting on blinders and refusing to see the situation as the beginning of the end. I know that at age 85, it could be. But I am praying that my mom recovers and has another good decade of life yet! Her parents both lived into their 90's.

It's very late and I must sleep -- emoticon
I wish you pleasant dreams of a tall dark rich romantic and handsome stranger coming into your life too!


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4/21/17 4:04 A

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Hey kiddo....best part about what you wrote is this...you have a very strong ability to create some order out of total ambiguity. That's huge. Really huge. Don't be surprised if you find yourself the only one thinking quicker on your feet than the others about narrowing the options to the most workable ones. The others will find the process far more stressful than you....I guarantee!

I like the idea of the Casita....brilliant....

Crystal ball? Me? More like a crystal emoticon !!!
And what kind of a fortune teller am I? A emoticon ....the biggest, loudest quack ever!!

And thank you for the hugs, my kawan. You just made my day. Have a good weekend....

Beeeeeeg Hugs Back, Prema

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4/20/17 1:38 P

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Oh, I'm not "worried " about any sibling other than that one particular brother. When you are employed, you want to stay employed -- even the doctors! My sisters are both unemployed as am I.... but one is quite rich and travels A Lot (I doubt she wants to give up that life!) and the other has kids living at home. Some wives of my brothers could do this, but why would they when "here *I* am!'
Of course, sibs will come visiting for a weekend... but that will not be particularly beneficial for ME. I mean, my mother will want as much privacy as she can have -- meaning ONE caretaker as much as possible. A 6-week stint will not tax me. (I took care of MM after open heart surgery a few years back; I know I can do this.) If she recovers poorly, yes, she will want us to "take turns" being her caretaker in HER home; but again, that would be a major imposition since none of us live near enough to do that. And again, no one can simply up and leave their jobs. My one rich sister could be "in the rotation" with me; but a rotation of only 2? No. I suppose I could do that when my situation changes (as I mentioned in the past, I have plans!); but I do not wish to sacrifice my life to return to Brownsville either. Mom will simply have to leave her big house that is falling apart because she doesn't take care of it anymore -- and it is too much for ME too, especially if it was in addition to being a full-time caretaker!

I really think ALL of us are willing to have Mom move in with us, but none of us want to live in Brownsville anymore. And it would be tough on any old person to have to rotate through 8 children's homes; no, she'd have to live in ONE home. IMO, ideally, we'd all chip in to build a small 'casita' (a detached couple of rooms) for Mom on someone's property if possible where she could live semi-independently.... The value of the casita would remain with the family who provided the land and daily care.

emoticon Oh, so now you have a crystal ball! Oh, DO tell me his name! Is he tall, rich, and handsome? Oh wait! emoticon That is NOT a crystal ball! What kind of fortune teller are you anyway!?! emoticon emoticon

Thanks for the chuckles! And for caring!
Beeeegest hugs for you today, Prema!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 4/20/2017 (13:42)
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4/20/17 4:08 A

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By the way Koshie, we had no Malaysian fare to offer you or anybody else at that time. All of us survived on American movies and actors....Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Michael Douglas and before them...Gregory Peck, John Wayne, Clint Eastwood...

You will probably be facing a challenging time when you head over to see your mum...my heart goes out to you as others go through the power play in this situation. I know you well enough to know that you would want to undertake optimum approaches for your mum's well-being and others will see these as otherwise. Forget them. Let them take on as much as they say they want...it is hard for most people to undertake the role of a caregiver.

Some romance will be in the air for you soon.... emoticon

Have a good one today, my kawan.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

Edited by: PREMAMEHROTRA at: 4/20/2017 (07:54)
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4/19/17 9:20 P

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Tee hee! You ARE my "Western Front"! emoticon I find it amazing to the point of disbelief that you have watched all these old US shows...I can't say that Americans have EVER been offered Malaysian TV fare. It really has only been in the last 10 years that Spanish TV has made inroads (and we've had a huge Spanish speaking population for a long time!). So I'm just stunned that you rattle these shows' names off more easily than I do! I never watched "The Virginian." emoticon This is just funny! God there are times you make me feel SO provincial!

As far as the sibs go... I'm the eldest but my oldest brother resents that; he'll be a jackass to me for sure. He always has been. He is the ONE reason I DREAD going home. And since he lives closest to Mom, I'm sure that she'll be wanting him. For one thing, he is a doctor. I figure I will simply make sure my mother understands that if she wants him, she must arrange that I KNOW when he is coming so that I can arrange to not be there. I simply refuse to breathe the same air he breathes.
And... I am not a forceful personality. I've never "led" the sibs. We all live fairly far apart from each other and interact I think actually very little. We will not be "taking turns". Mom is 85; she wants to live at home, alone, and is capable of doing so. She will continue until she is incapable. Then... then she will live with one of us if she is willing to move into one of our homes (nobody wants to return to live in Brownsville!) or she will move into an assisted living home of her choice.

High school romance resuscitation? emoticon I went to an all-girls high school! There is one fellow who brings back fond memories, maybe two, but I know neither of them live in Brownsville anymore either! emoticon Maybe some other time....

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4/19/17 6:46 A

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Hi Koshie. Mum trusts you but she may not relax completely as the news hits her and begins to scare her. I am glad that there are 8 siblings in the picture and I am assuming that they are all prepared to take their turns at assisting in the situation. And also, that they are quite happy to have you lead them in the matter.
And who knows, you may end up resuscitating an old high school romance. If it happens in TV movies...why oh why can it not happen in real life!!!!???!!

Oh yes...I know that expression..."back at the ranch". We used to watch "Bonanza", "The Virgininan", "The Big Valley", "Maverick", "Little House on the Prairie" etc etc . And glad that things are just fine back at the ranch.
Back at my ranch....it's all quiet on the western front!!!

Take care Koshie and keep me posted about when you plan to leave.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/18/17 4:42 P

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Wow emoticon that's loads of experience there! I take comfort in your statement that Mom will relax and trust my help. She has a number of friends still alive; I should be able to arrange an active social life for her while I am there. I however, have not kept in touch with anyone I knew in high-school.... At present, I have no reason to think this will be anything but a short-term commitment; I'm not worried about a 6 week lack of social life! And I refuse to worry about the "what-ifs" at this point. There are 8 siblings and that will be something that WE ALL will figure out together when the time comes.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (a once popular "saying" in America from old TV westerns).... things are just fine! emoticon

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4/18/17 6:23 A

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Oh dear Koshie...mum's news is such a setback. I am so so so sorry about this.
I have been a caregiver for my late dad, mum, my late sister-in law, etc and I also unofficially headed a team of caregivers for a late pastor and his late wife (both English) who were much loved by many people around them. I know this much...mum called you because she does not know what to do and she knows that everything will be alright when you are around.

And I know you will know what to do when the time comes.

The only thing I ask you to do is to please not neglect your own health and reach out to others if they want to help you out. Taking care of any one individual is not an easy task at all and it helps to share the burden.

God Bless and beeeeeeg hugs, Prema

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4/17/17 12:21 P

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If you've read "Ishmael" then don't bother with the rest unless you had difficulty understanding the premises of "Ishmael." Quinn only reworks the same material; and as novels alone, they don't merit additional attention. IMO

There is even more piled on my plate now, and less time to do it in. Mom called with the news that she has breast cancer and will be undergoing surgery in the near future. (Seriously, that is the sum total of the info Mom graced me with.) I will be going back to my home-of-origin for 3-6 weeks to care for her. So I am trying to do what needs doing before I leave. No time for book reading right now!
emoticon

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4/17/17 6:15 A

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Hi Koshie.... emoticon

With James Redfield, I followed up Celestine Prophecy with his book "Tenth Insight" which was also good but thereafter, I was not too impressed.

I have read Ishmael by Daniel Quinn some years ago and I remember enjoying the book. I have yet to follow u with another book by this author. I have just completed the memoirs of the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew, who was the first Prime Minister of Singapore and one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century. The next book I shall tackle will be by Orhan Pamuk. I will keep you posted about this author soon.

Have a great start to the week. Looks like you already have.... emoticon

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/16/17 1:02 P

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Beeeeeg Hugs, Prema! emoticon
How delightful that we've both read this book! I came across it totally by chance, and the book cover had enough about it to appeal to me. How is it that you read it? And I must admit I found the book to be very inspiring -- I want to go out and start practicing! It has made me resolve to contemplate my past-present-future! So Ken Follett books will be sought out next! Thanks for the recommendation.

I thought the book was even better written than anything by Daniel Quinn, who took a similar approach in writing about environmentalism. Have you read anything by him?

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 4/16/2017 (13:04)
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4/16/17 7:18 A

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Hi Koshie.
Glad after a very busy day earlier, that you were able to put your feet up and enjoy "The Celestine Prophecy". I read it some years earlier and I also enjoyed it. Almost immediately after that, I followed up with up with Ken Follett's "Pillars of the Earth" as well as his trilogy. I think you will enjoy these but admittedly, Ken Follett's books are very long...

emoticon

I had a good run today and a marvellous visit from my god-daughter and grandson. Just made my day...

Happy Easter Sunday, my kawan.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/15/17 8:08 P

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I've been reading a book in the minutes I have to spare between chores. I highly recommend it: The Celestine Prophecy, about .... spiritual enlightenment, in adventure novel form.
emoticon
It isn't a particularly long read either.

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4/14/17 11:58 P

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Exhausted today. Morning exercise, afternoon shopping; evening cooking, night cleaning. emoticon

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4/14/17 7:32 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

You are now feeling exactly the person that you are : great, energetic, smart and wonderful.

Happy Good Friday Koshie.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema



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4/13/17 1:22 P

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Actually, yesterday was fabulous! I slept for 8 hours! For the first time since I-don't-know-how-long! I felt great and energetic and smart and wonderful!

And I've been very busy. It's hard to get everything DONE!
emoticon

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4/13/17 6:51 A

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Good day so far. Hope it's the same for you....

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/12/17 4:58 A

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Hey Koshie, when we were kids and we fell, we stayed in one place and bawled our eyes out cos we knew that one of our parents would come running to us and hug the pain away...

Anyway, you are right. These days I am more worried about recovery rates and extent of injuries because it just gets harder. As I have said many times before, growing older sucks!!!
When you fell, you had a heavy pot in your hand and it could all have been much worse. It could have been very very serious. Thank God, nothing happened to you.
As for me, I was just clumsy. And a slight misstep resulted in a fall. I was not in any pain except for the shoulder and the ego!

I was able to run yesterday and today, i was able to go through Moskito's routine. And I am quite sure that I have to thank this kid for the quick recovery!

Most of all. Absolutely, most of all...thank you for your concern, my kawan. emoticon

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/11/17 10:53 A

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Remember the good old days when we were children -- and when you fell, you BOUNCED! -- and got up and ran on with living!?! There was nothing else to be done of course. You might hurt for a little while, but no Damage had been incurred.
And now, Prema, it is "Oh, my! What have I done! Don't move anything; just move one thing at a time! Is anything broken? What do I do?" And for a little while, life halts while you (hopefully) get up and inspect yourself, your clothing, and your things, and try to remember if you have all your medical information with you, and then take a few hesitant steps.... And of course, by God, you DO have all your medical information with you because.... falls!
I Do Understand how shaken you feel. 10 years ago, I was working outside and got my feet tangled up in something and fell full-body-length while carrying a heavy potted plant. I knocked the wind out of myself! I had managed to get the pot away from my body core (I knew not to let the pot fall on me or me on the pot!), but the pot had smashed in my hands. I lay there on the deck, struggling to breathe but almost afraid to breathe for fear I'd broken something; and I knew for sure my hands were broken what with all the pain they were in.... I managed to get up and I staggered into the house -- shaking with nerves and pain and fear; and there I sat for the rest of the day, unable to do anything else, anything at all. Well, except for verifying that I had not indeed broken anything but the pot. Internal damage? I didn't know -- everything hurt! I was immensely glad when the family returned in the evening; I finally felt somewhat "safe" to move!
I imagine you felt the same fear. Falling is not as simple as it used to be! I'm glad you suffered nothing but temporary pain. What caused your fall? Or were you simply seeking a 2-day reprieve from Moskito's torture? Please take extra care, my kawan. Falls do get more dangerous as we age, whether or not we are fit. emoticon

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 4/11/2017 (10:54)
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4/11/17 7:45 A

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emoticon ... the shoulder is back to normal!

emoticon ....and tomorrow the intensity of Moskito's exercise programme will also be back to normal!!!

Have a good one today...


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4/10/17 4:02 A

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Hi Koshie. I fell on Saturday at a hotel after a meeting with my investor. In the ladies!!! The first thing I did was to look around to see if anybody had seen me fall (vanity is my 2nd name!!) and then I ascertained that I had a bruise on my hand which I had used to stop my fall and I had pulled the muscles in my upper right shoulder and arm. But thanks to Moskito and his upper body strengthening exercises, I am almost 100% okay today so....I am now back to square one and his life will be safe until the end of June, at least. I usually feel very murderous at the beginning of every quarter when he starts a new programme for me.

I was very sleepy last night and went off to bed early after reading and had a great night myself. Managed to get about 7.5 hours of sleep and woke up feeling very refreshed and minus most of the pain in my right shoulder. emoticon

Have a great start to the week, my kawan.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/9/17 7:43 P

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Another day of working constantly...I'm sitting down for a few minutes with SparkPeople before I start making supper. Everything takes way longer than it used to!

I DID get some good sleep -- 7 hours! And yes, I'll try again tonight! emoticon

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4/9/17 5:25 A

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emoticon ...a good night's sleep is something that I enjoy...when it happens!

Like you, I have had difficulty sleeping for 6 to 7 straight hours. Nowadays, i have no choice but to resort to either a nightcap or my melatonin to ensure that I get uninterrupted sleep. I feel tired but just cannot seem to get into deep sleep.
It cannot be age? I don't think so!!

Let's try tonight and see how we go....

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

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4/8/17 1:05 P

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Oahhhh.... I was so tired yesterday! I hoped I'd sleep a solid 9 hours. I slept a solid 3. Of course, that doesn't mean I didn't sleep some more, but it was a not "solid" sleep. I finally got up to start my morning early. I've got a long list of things to get done today; I hope I sleep well tonite!
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4/7/17 11:16 P

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don't know why.... I haven't been sleeping well. It's early yet, but all I can think about is getting into bed. emoticon

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