Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
SMACKPACK's Photo SMACKPACK Posts: 43
1/3/13 10:07 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
This is probably going to sound harsh, but I'm going to be frank nonetheless...why are you doing derby?

I don't mean to sound condescending, but I think it's a question you need to ask yourself and answer honestly. As someone who is also not athletic and had to learn how to skate as an adult, I (as well as probably many others here) can certainly relate to your frustration about how difficult practice can be and how discouraging it can be to see tiny kids who are better than you are. Everything that I've seen that you have written about your experience seems to be negative...you're overly frustrated, you don't want to go to practice, you don't want to skate outside of practice. Derby isn't for everyone, so maybe it's time to really look at why you joined in the first place and decide whether that reason is still strong enough to keep you going or if you should throw in the towel.

As for the words of encouragement, I can tell you what has worked for me:

- Skate as much as you can outside of practice. Even though it can suck at times, dodging kids is actually a pretty good way to improve your agility. At least try to get in one extra session per week...trust me, it makes a difference. Wear your skates at home. Bonnie D. Stroir has a great video on agility that you can do at home, even on your carpet at first if you want, that you can get through her website.

- Watch derby for at least a few minutes a day. You'll be surprised how much you learn and how it translates into your own skills. http://wftda.tv has a huge high-definition archive of bouts.

- If you fall, GET BACK UP. Don't drop out of a drill just because you're frustrated. How you react when you're frustrated speaks volumes to your teammates.

- Instead of automatically coming in feeling like you suck, try to think of it in terms of what you can learn. Write down how you think the practice went. Pick two or three things you're really weak at and work on them on your own time, whether that's derby stance or footwork or whatever. Your teammates are there for you, and if you put in the effort and show you're willing, they will be more than willing to help you any way they can.

- Stop comparing yourself to your teammates. Measure your OWN successes and improvements. DON'T consider falling down a failure...we all do it, over and over. And over. No one is judging you for falling, I promise.

I hope that helps a little, and I hope you're able to figure out what you want to do. Best!

"If your body is a temple, mine was a real fixer-upper." -- Chuck Palahniuk, "Survivor"
PRAIRIEPLAY's Photo PRAIRIEPLAY Posts: 79
12/29/12 6:27 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
LOVE THIS!!!

Edited by: PRAIRIEPLAY at: 12/31/2012 (00:46)
 current weight: 162.0 
 
162
157.75
153.5
149.25
145
BTLSMUM's Photo BTLSMUM SparkPoints: (31,240)
Fitness Minutes: (19,222)
Posts: 488
12/8/12 9:14 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Tough love time! Please don't do that anymore. I'm going to say this, not to be hurtful but to be helpful...the things you are doing now make a lasting impression.

Going on the floor and falling on your butt a thousand times, being the last one done in every pyramid drill and then falling down some more for the entire practice, every single practice is what you need to be doing. You need to be on the floor before practice starts, ready to go. You need to stay on the floor during every drill. You cannot stop and fuss with your skate every time there is an endurance drill. You cannot hide in the bathroom. You need to be present physically and mentally for 100% of practice. This applies to newbies and veterans alike. Since you are developing skills, effort is far more important because it's the quality that everyone can offer. How much you put forth says everything about you at that level. Effort is all anyone wants to see. Skills will come in time. Heart is the single most important quality in derby.

You need to adopt the "f* it" mentality, tune out the world and work on you. If you want to last, long-term in derby you need a ton of heart and a thick skin. Because it never stops being hard, you are always going to make mistakes and someone is always going to be better than you.

I hope you see that I'm coming from a positive place. I suffer from anxiety. I am such an awkward person. I don't even like being around people as a general rule, I am so introverted. The one thing you can embrace is that you really don't have to be friends with everyone. Heck, you don't even have to talk to people. You focus on each drill as it comes and concentrate on yourself. Pretty much everyone thinks I'm a total b* when they take me at face value. The running joke is "I'm not a b*, it's just my face." LOL I'm trying to say that you don't need to worry about interpersonal relationships or what people might think of you off the floor. The only thing that matter is what they think of you on the floor. And, you have 100% control over that by working with max effort all the time. Leave all of yourself on the floor, every practice.

Valerie/Maime


 current weight: 123.5 
 
150
143.375
136.75
130.125
123.5
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
12/6/12 1:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
during our regular practice the young speed skaters have their practice on the outside of the rink. Its ridiculous to watch these 6 yr olds flying around.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
150
143.375
136.75
130.125
123.5
AMYABLE97's Photo AMYABLE97 Posts: 551
12/6/12 1:23 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Those rotten little kids! There were some last night at the rink I went to. During backwards skate, they were zipping around the track skating circles around me. Backwards skate of all things! They have a big advantage over us because they have a lower center of gravity and absolutely no fear.

Proud New Mama to Jonas! May 2011

Achievement without struggle isn't rewarding - Heather Fuhr

Komen Race for the Cure 5k- 10/17/09 - 33:11 min
Dallas Turkey Trot 8mile - 11/26/09 - 1 hr 23 min
CCFA Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon Las Vegas - 12/6/09 - 2 hrs 20 min


 current weight: 152.0 
 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
12/6/12 12:43 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
that worries me more actually because then i get shown up by little kids and it kills my confidence. I do go to a skating rink about 40 mins away during the week where i am the ONLY person there. But the distance makes it hard to do it more than once or twice a week.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
AMYABLE97's Photo AMYABLE97 Posts: 551
12/6/12 12:35 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Aww, that's a shame. But I know the feeling. I do that a lot in social situations, at happy hours and events where I don't know the people very well. I sit in the parking lot trying to convince myself that I will fit in and have a good time, but half the time I chicken out and go home.

Can you go to regular open skate nights at your closest skating rink and see if skating with normal folk helps build your confidence? It helps remind me how much I like skating without worrying about being a badass.

Proud New Mama to Jonas! May 2011

Achievement without struggle isn't rewarding - Heather Fuhr

Komen Race for the Cure 5k- 10/17/09 - 33:11 min
Dallas Turkey Trot 8mile - 11/26/09 - 1 hr 23 min
CCFA Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon Las Vegas - 12/6/09 - 2 hrs 20 min


 current weight: 152.0 
 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
12/6/12 7:51 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Well my practice was disappointing. Only because of me. I drove an hour, got there early, put on all my gear, watched everyone get into the rink, took off all of my gear and snuck out.
why do i do this to myself :(

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
12/5/12 10:40 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
well i havent been to one in 3 weeks. Im hoping it goes better than i think its going to lol

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
AMYABLE97's Photo AMYABLE97 Posts: 551
12/5/12 10:32 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That's good that you keep practicing. I've only skated through our 10 wk training program and now have 2 month off. I just know I'm going to forget everything I learned, even though I'm trying to keep working out some. But I can't beat my muscles into submission like a good derby practice can.

Proud New Mama to Jonas! May 2011

Achievement without struggle isn't rewarding - Heather Fuhr

Komen Race for the Cure 5k- 10/17/09 - 33:11 min
Dallas Turkey Trot 8mile - 11/26/09 - 1 hr 23 min
CCFA Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon Las Vegas - 12/6/09 - 2 hrs 20 min


 current weight: 152.0 
 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
12/5/12 10:20 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
fresh meat goes all the time. Im actually a little more excited about it because the rest of the actual team isnt allowed to come to the fresh meat practices during the off season. I wont feel as crappy :) That doesnt start until dec 11th though so today will still be daunting.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
AMYABLE97's Photo AMYABLE97 Posts: 551
12/5/12 10:13 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Good Luck! I'm a little jealous - offseason is too long! It'll be hard to get to practice, but once it's over you'll be glad you went.

Proud New Mama to Jonas! May 2011

Achievement without struggle isn't rewarding - Heather Fuhr

Komen Race for the Cure 5k- 10/17/09 - 33:11 min
Dallas Turkey Trot 8mile - 11/26/09 - 1 hr 23 min
CCFA Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon Las Vegas - 12/6/09 - 2 hrs 20 min


 current weight: 152.0 
 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
12/5/12 8:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Im going to practice tonight after 3 weeks of being away. wish me luck! :)

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
12/1/12 11:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
thanks everyone, its always good to hear that people are going through the same things. Its really hard to drag myself out to try to get better. I used to go to the gym, i did a lot of classes but found although i felt better about myself, physically i always felt awful. My ankles always hurt, my chest is ginormous and KILLED my neck. I just need to find what works for me i suppose. Its been a long road and usually i end up getting frustrated and just sitting on the couch and eating.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
MONNA_GIRL's Photo MONNA_GIRL Posts: 15
11/30/12 6:15 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That sounds really familiar :) I've never been super athletic or coordinated. Barely passed gym in high school, and never played any sports - at least not well. I always wanted to be good at something athletic-ish, but so many sports and activities require a certain body type and/or dedication of time, and I've always been bigger. So when I discovered roller derby - and the fact that being bigger is an asset (no pun intended :P ) I was hooked!! I used to skate all the time as a kid, but when I started derby I could barely stand up...it was really hard to see everyone else doing stuff, and I could barely just totter around the outside track. My self-esteem took a huge hit every time I tried to skate and it really sucked. I'm also very introverted and have some social anxiety issues, so I totally understand the feeling. I would try to come up with any excuse to not go to practice...but I did feel guilty for spending all that money on gear, plus I was making lots of new friends, and couldn't stand what they would think of me if I quit (social anxiety works both ways!)

I just kept at it, and slowly began to improve. I got used to certain movements that had been so awkward before, and was able to do things that I never thought I would. It does get better, you just have to keep working and ignore all those excuses that make you not want to practice!!

 Pounds lost: 30.0 
 
0
22.5
45
67.5
90
AMYABLE97's Photo AMYABLE97 Posts: 551
11/29/12 6:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am fresh meat too. I gotta say it's very intimidating as a newbie to skate with the veterans. They make it seem so effortless. And nothing makes me feel like I am hopeless at this sport like getting knocked over when I didn't see it coming. I don't know why I feel like I should be able to match hits with the big kids after only 2 months of training, but I do feel that way, no matter how many times I tell myself it's silly. This is a complicated sport; there is a lot going on at all times. And it's going to take a while to learn it well enough so that you can anticipate hits, know where the jammers are going, and have the muscle memory and skating skills to do something about it. Or at least this is what I tell myself.

This article on Derbylife made me feel better about falling and looking stupid...
www.derbylife.com/articles/2012/09/d
er
bylife_writing_contest_art_falling_dR>own_daphne_du_gorier


Falling means that you are trying hard, it means you care enough about derby to bruise your hips and your ego. I have found that once I fall and get it out of the way, I'm not that scared of failing anymore. Nobody expects fresh meat to be awesome yet; they just expect you to try, and to get back up, and to slowly learn.

Proud New Mama to Jonas! May 2011

Achievement without struggle isn't rewarding - Heather Fuhr

Komen Race for the Cure 5k- 10/17/09 - 33:11 min
Dallas Turkey Trot 8mile - 11/26/09 - 1 hr 23 min
CCFA Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon Las Vegas - 12/6/09 - 2 hrs 20 min


 current weight: 152.0 
 
155
152.5
150
147.5
145
BTLSMUM's Photo BTLSMUM SparkPoints: (31,240)
Fitness Minutes: (19,222)
Posts: 488
11/29/12 6:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Oh! And remember that everyone has to start somewhere. And that everyone is struggling with something. Someone, somewhere is feeling the same way you do right now. You aren't alone. :)

Valerie/Maime


 current weight: 123.5 
 
150
143.375
136.75
130.125
123.5
BTLSMUM's Photo BTLSMUM SparkPoints: (31,240)
Fitness Minutes: (19,222)
Posts: 488
11/29/12 6:28 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I too am uncoordinated, not at all athletic and have anxiety issues. I'm a loner by nature too.

The key to building confidence in derby for me was in building confidence in my body outside of derby. Having a good foundation of strength, agility and endurance off-skates will go a long way towards building all those things on skates. How you choose to do this is up to you. I started going to the gym. I took classes like TRX and kettlebell to build strength. I took bootcamps to focus on conditioning and agility. I started lifting heavy weights. I broke myself down in the gym and built myself up (with the help of a couple great instructors who made me feel like I was a beast). I gained a lot of confidence because I saw some very real changes in my body and my abilities.

I also attended basic skills practices held by our league, even though I am actually a pretty good skater (just not a great derby player) because fundamentals are everything. You cannot be too comfortable on your skates. During a bout, you need to be thinking about a lot of things but stopping, spinning, etc aren't any of them. Build muscle memory by really drilling basic skills.

The more I want something, the harder I try...the bigger failure it tends to be for me. Another key to success is to say "F* it." You have to learn to give every jam over to the universe. Turn off your brain and allow muscle memory to kick in, allow your instincts to take over. The same goes for drills. You have to learn how to tune out your internal voice and just skate.

These things come with time, with experience and with knowledge. Study the rules exhaustively. Watch tons of games. I am a very visual learner and believe it or not, just watching people do something helps me to learn how to do it, to understand the movement involved. When you think you've watched enough derby, watch more. Try to anticipate what the jammer will do when she hits the pack, watch the blockers and see how they use each other. There is just so much to absorb! LOL

Valerie/Maime


 current weight: 123.5 
 
150
143.375
136.75
130.125
123.5
RAE333's Photo RAE333 Posts: 104
11/29/12 10:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So im sure this is nothing new because it is such an intense sport full of strong women..but I feel like a fresh meat loser. I have never been an athlete. To put it into perspective for you, i failed gym class in 12th grade because i hated participating..I had to return for an entire semester of 6 gym classes a day to graduate in time to start college. So needless to say I am growing overweight, i have zero balance and i have always turned to negative inner dialogue rather than staying positive. This is a concept that is super hard for me. Add in social anxiety and i am quite a package.
However, I like derby..I WANT to be good at it. I WANT to like going to practices. Every week it is an internal struggle to go and once I do i like it..until i fall or go far slower than the other members. The negativity pops up again. Our Fresh meat practices are full of actual team members because we are a new league so we have very little fresh meat. I find this SUPER daunting because I feel like i hold up the group with my slow skating and getting winded after 2 laps. I know it takes time to improve and everyone starts out like this but it makes it so easy for me to give up. I guess i just need some kind words of encouragement.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

-Buddha


 
150
143.375
136.75
130.125
123.5
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Roller Derby Queens General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics: Last Post:
Rollercon 2013 12/2/2013 6:36:17 PM
Test time freakout 6/12/2013 11:13:55 PM
LEAN AND MEAN IN 2014!! 2/7/2014 11:02:07 PM
Not a Derby Queen... *yet*. 5/16/2014 9:01:23 PM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x4113x51014064

Review our Community Guidelines