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MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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8/22/13 4:32 P

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WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!?!?

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
8/19/13 2:28 P

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Well, I'm officially off birth control and I guess we will be trying for another one.

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MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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7/24/13 1:14 P

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Congratulations on the unwelcome welcome baby hahah ; ) !!

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
7/15/13 8:45 A

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Congrats. At least this time around you'll know what stuff is actually important and what's not.


I ended up getting an IUD for right now but I'm still working on hubby.

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JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
7/11/13 11:52 A

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Congratulations!!! How exciting!!!

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SPOTLIGHTANGEL's Photo SPOTLIGHTANGEL SparkPoints: (11,731)
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7/11/13 8:29 A

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Hey ladies! It has been FOREVER, that is for sure.

We decided in May that we didn't want any more children, and found out last week we are expecting again! AFTER we got rid of all our baby toys, clothes, and supplies. The Universe is funny, huh?

It was definitely NOT planned, but not unwelcomed either. In fact, hubby is incredibly happy while I am fighting off 4 naps a day! ;-) Waiting for our dating ultrasound on August 6th to make it public knowledge, but until then, keeping low key except to the key people in our lives. As of now, looks like our due date is March 9th.

I hope you are all well!

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22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
7/10/13 12:58 P

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Chris is scared, he read too much stuff on the internet....... but it's happening. lol

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JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
7/8/13 3:01 P

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Well, good for your husband for stepping up to the plate. :) Matt says he will NEVER have a vasectomy. So I guess it will be up to me to eventually be sterilized. Geez...women have to do everything. ;)

I'm still on the fence. I just turned 32, so I have a few more years to decide. Ultimately if no decisions have been made in the next two years, I will have a sterilization procedure done.

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22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
7/7/13 7:02 P

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we have made the decision that we are done. Next step vasectomy.

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JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
1/12/13 9:47 P

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Amen, Natalie! I know there is the "only child" stereotype, but I think that is a bunch of bull. Some of the only children I know are such kind and generous people. I have read some stuff on the Internet, and some only children have said that is has been very lonely and stressful dealing with elderly parents and the deaths of parents. It has also been very hard not having a sibling that has witnessed their life. For example, I can ask my brothers if they can recall certain things growing up. I can see how it would be hard to not have a sibling to share memories with. However, two kids does not guarantee anything. Some siblings are not that close, and good health is never a given.

I like the closeness that some only children have with their parents. I was the 4th child and there is 12 years difference between my oldest brother and myself. I never really did any extracurricular activities because by the time I came around my parents were too tired and stressed out. I'm sure they were thinking, "Been there, done that". I think I have a fear of repeating that cycle.

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MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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1/11/13 11:34 A

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Good for you Jenna, I'm sure you'll have a huge brood of kids...funny I just noticed the 3 J's ahhahah Jenna, Julie and Jamie hee hee

I'm with Julie and Jamie...we can barely juggle just the 1 kid with our schedules and break even financially and our time is so limited now...I dont even know how we'd be able to afford 2 let alone have the time for each other....I'm still teetering on the fence. But being 35 yrs old..I dont have much time before I become high risk so we gotta make a decision soon. DH is 40 and he even said that he doesnt want to get too much older and be like 80 when our kids are having kids...though its going to be cutting it pretty close.

I wish I could have another just to remember what it was like those first 6 months because I dont remember either when I see pictures and video and how little he was...I dont remember..its kinda sad. Then I dont think I want Joe as a sole child growing up and it would be good for him to have a sibling and have someone to be related to for the rest of his life when we are no longer there. But then the other side of me says "no freaking way, you'll never have enough money or time for yourself, hubby, work, Joe, it'll be never ending"....these voices do battle everyday when I see a little one that makes my heart just melt....my new little nephew born in November hasnt helped with the baby crave hahah

I feel like a ping pong ball lol xoxoxoo Happy Friday!

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
1/10/13 2:31 P

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I was wondering who added to this thread! Yay Jenna! That is great news. I'm glad you and your hubby know exactly what you want and are gonna strive for it.

I'm still not sure if I want to have another one. For a long time I was firmly against it and hubby and I never discuss it, but sometimes I get a little voice in my head that says to have another one. It is probably my biological clock speaking. LOL. I just get way too stressed out with one and trying to juggle everything else. I also think I would like to eventually switch jobs and find another career. I think if I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, then it would be easier to decide if I wanted another one.

Edited by: JEWELS6170 at: 1/10/2013 (14:45)
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22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
1/10/13 12:46 P

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good luck Jenna, just be sure to enjoy every min with Aiden now. I honestly can't really remember how Marley was at 6 months. all i have is the videos and photos i took of her. I think a huge part of that was that i was always too excited to get to the next stage with her. i didn't enjoy the "now" enough. plus the who new mom first baby thing had a part in it i'm sure.

Chris and i are 85% sure we want to stick with just marley. I don't see myself completely deciding for years i'm sure i'll make myself decide around 32. Marley will be 8 then. Any time i give it a lot of thought i always come up with no i don't want another one. but i can't let go yet for some reason. One kid fits the lifestyle my husband and I want to live. two kids would totally change that but the idea of getting to love someone that much might tip the scale someday.


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JENNA-P's Photo JENNA-P SparkPoints: (27,067)
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1/8/13 3:54 P

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I know nothing has been posted here in months, but I decided to anyway :)

Shawn and I are certain that we want more kids. I always wanted a large family and despite having 6 miscarriages and 2 stillbirths we have not been scared off yet :) In fact, I have my first fertility appointment in a few months and Aiden is only 6 months old. LOL Yes, I"m crazy!! LOL

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MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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8/27/12 12:09 P

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It is weird that all of a sudden "we" as parents dont have anything to talk about but the kid...I think you hit the nail on the head that we are so busy with work and the kid that we don't have enough time for anything else..leaving quite the "blankness" for conversation..I always try and talk about other stuff because I realize we do that too...its so odd...spot on observation...

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
8/26/12 9:17 P

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that sucks that you had to deal with all the nights. i dealt with all the early mornings and DH dealt with all the late nights because that just worked for us. there was no getting him out of bed once he was asleep and by night time i was soo tired that i didn't have the patients. we were lucky that she was a good sleeper because if she wasn't i would have been in the same boat.

Our relationship has changed as well.

we're finding it harder now to come up with things to talk about that aren't centered around house work, work, and Marley. we still talk about current events but we found ourselves out for dinner the other night just awkwardly staring at each other. We don't have as much time for outside interest any more and it's giving us less to share with each other. Marley is starting to get more independent and play on her own more giving us some much needed down time here and there which is helping. I'm hoping as she gets older things will become easier.

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JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
8/25/12 2:23 P

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DH didn't get up at night because his sleep is just too important to him and he is hard enough to wake up anyway. I'm just thankful that now she is sleeping through the night for the most part. I don't know how couples with multiple children manage their relationships either. I feel like our relationship has changed so much from having Lil, and that nurturing our relationship has become less of a priority. I miss having time just the two of us. He is working FT and works on his side business after she goes to bed, so that doesn't leave much time for us just to spend quality time together.

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MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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8/23/12 10:13 A

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Jewel, did DH not get up at night w/Lil cuz he was scared or afraid? I know DH and I had a very in depth conversation when we first had Joe regarding that...I couldn't leave him alone w/Joe at all and finally I took my keys and left because I had to go to the market and he wouldnt' go for me. I came back, we talked and he just told me he was scared...scared of what do when I wasnt there cuz this was all new to us and of course I was BFing so I "had" to go feed him. Just something I wanted to share with you. I know everyone has their own personal experiences. I also had some resentment myself too of always having to feed Joe, even though I wanted to BF, but there was just some nights I needed a break and there was milk in the fridge...but anywho...long story short, maybe we all need to let go of our negative stuff holding us back right? *HUGS* xooxxo I completely agree about the time management..scary thinking of adding more to the plate...

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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8/23/12 10:12 A

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It seems like we are all in consensus on a lot of things with regards to another little one. I didn't want an only child but now I'm okay with having one, but if we have 2 I'd be "ok". Like Jamie said, we are just getting by as it is and 2 would sure cramp doing a lot of extra stuff from spending to traveling. However, we did do a lot of traveling before we had Joe, we've been together total for almost 13 years and 6 years married. We had a good 6 years of time to really do whatever we wanted, traveling, cruises, sleeping in, whatever, so we're lucky in that regard.

I see these families with 3+ kids and I don't know how they do it, to each their own and power to them but how do they make time for husband/wife time and not get lost in raising kids? You all know those statistics out there are not good with 1/2 of marriages ending in divorce. I honestly think that if you have kids and get lost in raising them and not foster the love between you and your signficiant other, you are gonna lose each other. I think thats a big thing that we as dedicated spouses have to continue to nurture together..its crazy. SORRY..soapbox! hehheh

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
8/23/12 8:30 A

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Wow, Amber that is great news! Congratulations!!!

I was always on the fence when it came to having kids, and DH really wanted to have one. I find myself just being happy with one and am terrified that he will want to have another one. I just don't think that is something I can be on board with. He knows how I feel so he doesn't bring it up at all. I know I still hold on to a lot of resentment about how he never got up at night with Lillian and has never really gone above and beyond to help out. I find that only having one can help me have more of a balance with work, finances, home life, and me time. Of course, this is all subject to change in the future.

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AMBROSIAHINO's Photo AMBROSIAHINO Posts: 323
8/23/12 7:34 A

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Our time just got decided...I got pregnant in Hawaii, LOL. We ended up flying my mom to our house, and leaving Eric with her (but at home, with all his toys, his crib, and his daycare...so everything was "normal" for him except for us being gone).

SO, my new due date is May 1st, 2013, which means sometime in April (hopefully not as early as Eric, that would mean MARCH!)

Amber and Wayne
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Eric Daniel born 10/17/2010

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22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
8/22/12 9:43 P

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i feel the same way. Marley wasn't really a snuggley baby anyways but i feel like i was too busy trying to figure out everything and too excited to get to the next phase. I know that if i have another one i will take more time to enjoy the moment.

I get the feeling but it goes away very quickly because i know right now wouldn't be right for us.

Abigail you must be able to run circles around my time management skills. It's amazing that you have time to get on here. What's the hardest part of having two??

We talk about timing almost every day it's crazy. We decided before we had her that we wanted two but to wait until the first one was about to go into first grade to have another.

Now..... we are leaning towards not have any more.
I love the idea of having another one but i don't think that we will be able to live how we want to if we have another.

Right now we scrape by i'm sure in a few years we will be doing much better as our business grows more every year but we are consumers and always have a want list going. we now realize that we want to travel something that wasn't important to either of us when we got married. And we don't want to have to work more just to try and afford it all. plus, this might sound crazy but I put sooo much into Marley and if we had another i would have to split that and i would feel like i was short changing them both all the time. Honestly i'm already having anxiety about empty nest syndrome...... One of the biggest thoughts in my head about why we should have another kid is that if we have two there's a better chance that at least one will stick around. Stupid i know but still there.

BUT we are still young and have time to have more kids so in conclusion we haven't decided yet :)

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MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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8/22/12 4:32 P

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awwwwwww Abby, I didn't mean to leave you out....that's just so goshdarn sweet to read, your children are so lucky to have you as their mommy...

I think I didn't get enough snuggle time w/Joe because I was still trying to figure out "motherhood" and what his needs were...though looking back on the pictures I took...I apparently did enjoy him alot...its no wonder he's such a happy kid ; )

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
ABIGAILFR's Photo ABIGAILFR SparkPoints: (9,231)
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8/22/12 1:39 P

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i still feel it! even though i have another. we aren't done yet- but we will wait like 2 years before we have #3. little babies are so snuggly!

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8/22/12 1:12 P

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For those of you who don't have another one, do you ever feel that "yearn" for another when you see or a hear a little one or see teeny tiny baby clothes...its like an itch that you wanna scratch LOL...I know right now is so not the right time for us and its annoying to have to wait but we just have to financially and then I think of all the work 1 has me running around hahah...double that and then some ; ) anyone trying or planning this year?

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
AMBROSIAHINO's Photo AMBROSIAHINO Posts: 323
11/22/11 8:40 A

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LOL yeah its just working out the details between now and then, I would prefer to leave him with my parents, but that adds like $600 to the airfare...so weighing options still

Amber and Wayne
Together in 2005, married since 2007

Eric Daniel born 10/17/2010

Baby #2
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11/17/11 12:36 P

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if you can find someone you feel comfortable with, i would leave him here. if you can't though, i think many places have babysitting avaliable so that might work.

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AMBROSIAHINO's Photo AMBROSIAHINO Posts: 323
11/17/11 10:03 A

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LOL I just hope it ends up as awesome as I'm dreaming of! Resort reservations made, pre-payment plan in place, gonna file taxes ASAP in 2012 so we have the money for airfare.

Still trying to decide on arrangements for the LO - take him with or leave with friends/family while we're gone? If he ISN'T coming, who will he stay with? If he IS coming, how do we want to structure our vacation to get some time for Mommy & Daddy alone?

I'm just glad that I still have months to work out all the details.

Amber and Wayne
Together in 2005, married since 2007

Eric Daniel born 10/17/2010

Baby #2
due 11/25/2014


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11/17/11 8:48 A

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Amber - that is exciting. hope the timing works out. your trip sounds awesome!

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AMBROSIAHINO's Photo AMBROSIAHINO Posts: 323
11/17/11 8:26 A

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We're going to start trying again after my birthday in March, but I'm kinda hoping it takes until around late July-early August. We're going to Hawaii for our 5 year wedding anniversary the first week of August, and I don't want to be hugely pregnant on the plane...although I would LOVE to get the BFP once we get home!

Amber and Wayne
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Eric Daniel born 10/17/2010

Baby #2
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10/21/11 8:07 P

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well it looks like its clearing up finally. only had 2 dirty diapers today and they were both more normal. it lasted more than 3 weeks. crazy. last weekend it almost cleared up and then came back so i just hope this lasts!

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22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
10/21/11 7:40 P

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At the beginning of this month Marley had diarrhea too her's lasted 2 weeks. I can't imagine traveling with that problem. Good luck!!

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10/20/11 1:05 P

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that sounds awful. we are on week 3 of diarrhea here. its not as many times a day now- like 4 (it was like 8-9). sent in stool samples last week and nothing has come back yet abnormal. dr thinks its just a virus- it can last weeks and weeks. no fun. and we are going out of town next week so that will be really annoying for traveling :( i was hoping it would be over by then.

but vomiting too- yuck! we haven't had that.

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JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
10/20/11 11:42 A

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Yes, it will be nice to be more prepared for the second one.

Well...Lillian is waking up multiple times at night. I don't know what deal is. She also had a stomach virus last Friday. DH was gone for 10 hours for a golf outing and I am at home with a feverish baby cleaning up diarrhea and vomit. Her fever broke on Sunday but she still has diarrhea, so she is not allowed to go back to daycare until all symptoms have been gone for 24 hours. I called the Dr office and the nurse said she is no longer contagious, so I sent her anyway and they can call me if she needs to be picked up. I also read online that the virus can be present in the stool for up to two weeks after symptoms are gone, so that rule is pointless. Ugh. I am tired. I need to think of timing for getting my tubes tied. ;)

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10/17/11 8:18 P

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sounds like a great plan. i like that you have focused goals for that time. i am sure it will help you feel more "prepared" when #2 comes.

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KATIEMOUSE Posts: 312
10/17/11 6:11 P

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*October 2013 - obviously my brain isn't working as quickly as my fingers when I'm typing!!

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KATIEMOUSE Posts: 312
10/17/11 6:10 P

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I have decided (I haven't actually mentioned it to Gareth yet!) that I want to either have baby number two or at least be pregnant by this time in two years, so October 2012. That gives us loads of time for us to save up and for Gareth to get his business off the ground - not that he's really doing much about getting it up and running yet! It also gives me time to try and focus on my weight, which is a major issue now. I have stayed the same since giving birth but I was already 50lb overweight when I lost my baby weight so that's a really bad place to start if I want to be thinking about another baby. Plus I'll be 33 by then and getting dangerously close to the UK definition of an 'old mother', which will mean more tests and possibly amnio-centesis if there's any doubt about the health of the baby. I had a totally uneventful pregnancy with Lucas and the labour, for all it was long and drawn out, was relatively straightforward, so I'm hoping that any future pregnancy will be just as simple. Of course you can never tell, and I always plan for the worst and hope for the best. So I figure giving myself a big headstart is a good idea and I will definitely try and get my weight much closer to goal before we try for another baby

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SPOTLIGHTANGEL's Photo SPOTLIGHTANGEL SparkPoints: (11,731)
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9/29/11 6:47 P

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If we decide to have more children, it will not be for another 2-3 years. However, I have this lurking suspicion that it may happen by accident before that! eeeks!

The biggest concern for us is the my husband works 70+ hours per week from March-November, so having another baby will be very stressful for me, personally. But I do think eventually, we will have another baby.

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22JAMIE's Photo 22JAMIE Posts: 1,538
9/7/11 6:18 P

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Yeah that's way more then i could take on for sure!! It will be so worth it in the end though emoticon

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9/7/11 11:43 A

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Jamie, I know what you mean about needing to be financially secure. We want to make sure we have jobs before we bring another baby into the world.

Natalie, how exciting that you have started your Masters! I just finished mine; I can't imagine having to deal with a full-time job, school, and a baby all at once! During the course of my work I only ever had two of them at a time. I know it is a lot of work but it will be TOTALLY worth it! I'm sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed! *lots of hugs*

~Katie

The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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ABIGAILFR's Photo ABIGAILFR SparkPoints: (9,231)
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9/6/11 11:41 A

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Natalie- sorry to hear its SO busy for you and your family right now. sounds difficult.
your plan sounds great. MOST of the time- there is time/energy investment involved for improvement later. its hard to deal with but its the truth. (like dealing with labor or schooling or lots of little children, etc.)

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MRS.NG.06's Photo MRS.NG.06 SparkPoints: (16,776)
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9/6/11 10:56 A

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Hi ladies, I'm here and not here..I wish I had the time to check in with each one of you..life is so crazy right now.

In regards to timing for us, I just started grad school, I am going for my Master's in Social Work so I can be a psychotherapist. Working full time and going to school part time twice a week will take me 3-4 years to finish with taking summer classes too.

I would imagine, if all goes well again the 2nd time around then we could start trying again in my senior year. Take maternity leave w/my old job, apply for new ones while out and then get a new job and do what I really want to do, something meaningful in my life for me and my family and making a difference in society. It is going to be tough, but I know how bad I want this and I know that getting a new job will help me work out a better schedule to be with my family than I have now at my job working 40 hours a week + 5 hours mandatory OT.

But I will make it happen. Just wish I could say the same thing with my weight loss...one thing at a time..miss you all. xooxoxo

Nat

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. All the rest is a piece of cake ; )
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9/4/11 10:46 P

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At first things were fine but now i do have a little pain after indorse. it's not during or it doesn't hurt longer then half the day but yea Jewles your not alone. we don't have sex as much as we use to, my husband is worried that after baby number two we might not at all. It's just so hard to find the time and energy and honestly i just don't want it the same way i used to.
Anyhow. Our plan is to wait until Marley is 3 to even talk about it. But we defiantly want to be pregnant before she hits 5 BUT at the same time we have agreed that we must be in a better financial situation to have another one so hopefully our business picks up in the next few years like were hoping.

Fall 2010 Mom's Team
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9/4/11 1:15 P

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Katie- love the plan- sounds very well thought out.

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9/4/11 11:05 A

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I'm so sorry that you are still in pain! That has to be very difficult and I completely understand why you wouldn't be ready yet to discuss another baby!

That's exciting that you guys are going to move closer to family! That will make a HUGE difference with taking care of any kids.

We have started the process of looking for jobs back in the States. We agreed that we would actively search for jobs between now and May. If we get a job, then we will move back. If we haven't found a job, then in May of next year we stop looking and start trying. Without making attempts to get Caymanian status (which would allow us to stay indefinitely), the government will only allow us to stay until May 2014. We don't want to have to do an international move with a baby that's less than 3 months old so that gives us until May 2013 to get pregnant or we stop until we make a decision about whether we try to get status (kinda like citizenship without the right to vote) so that we can stay here longer.

I think that both of us would like to be back in the States but we don't want to do the move without the security of jobs. If we can find something then we will jump at getting back!

~Katie

The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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9/4/11 7:08 A

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Jewels- so sorry you are still having so much pain. definitely see how it is after BFing is over- and congrats on BFing this long!

I definitely think it will be different next time around. my husband is going to have to be more helpful- especially douglas will still be so young. but it will probably be good for him!

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JEWELS6170's Photo JEWELS6170 Posts: 958
9/3/11 10:53 P

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Wow Katie! That is great news. We still have not discussed if and when we will have another one. Intercourse is still very painful for me. I don't know if I could go through this again. If I'm still having pain when I'm done breastfeeding then I will probably go to see my doctor. From what I have read, pain is pretty common up to a year postpartum but most women don't discuss it. I had had my fill of Dr. visits (reproductive endo, endo, ob-gyn, etc) in the past couple of years, so I am in no rush to go back and sit in a waiting room and then have more follow-up visits. It is hard to arrange for a sitter as well.

Katie, how much longer do you plan to live on the island? DH and I are planning to move next spring/summer so we can be closer to my family. Once we get adjusted and settled into our new jobs and routines, then we will probably discuss it. If we decided to have another one I wouldn't mind waiting until Lil is 3 or so. I think we would only have two kids at the most. I have a feeling that DH will want another one. I tease him that if we do have another one, he has no idea how much I am NOT going to do. If we have another one, he is going to have to help out more.

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9/3/11 5:05 P

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May sounds like a great idea. we were going to start in December.

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9/3/11 3:10 P

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Hi! I was just wondering if anyone else was talking about Baby #2. I know that Abigail is pregnant (YAY!!!) and DH and I had a conversation this week about starting to try for our Baby #2 in May of next year.

Are any of the rest of you guys thinking about it?

~Katie

The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery


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