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SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
7/24/17 1:34 P

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I hear ya, Dennis! It takes me a long time to do a painting, too. mostly because I always painted with my friends in Wisconsin, and here I have to paint by myself. It's just not the same...but, with practice you will get better and faster. My biggest problem is that I try to put too much detail in and it takes forever and doesn't look near as good as when you paint and use less detail and hard edges on your subjects. I was told to be more "painterly" instead of trying to paint it so it looks like a photograph. I'm still trying to get to that point.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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7/24/17 2:04 A
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Thanks Tina, I couldn't have done them without our teacher, she's gotten me out of a lot of Jams when I didn't know what I was doing. My favorite is the sunrise with the Island from Thailand in it, but is was really hard, It took me about 6 months.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
7/22/17 8:55 A

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Hey Dennis! Very nice paintings! Did you paint in the past, or is this your first attempt? I oil paint, too. It's fun to be artistic and creative. I will have to post some of my paintings some time. I really love your sky on the lighthouse on the cliff painting.
Tina

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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7/22/17 2:04 A
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I posted some of my paintings. I hope you like them.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
7/14/17 10:20 A

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UGH I feel for you Tina. Hope that there will be an end to these infections once and for all. emoticon

Hope you all enjoy your weekend!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
7/13/17 7:01 P

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Don't know what's causing the infections. The doctor is finally going to have a CT scan done of my sinuses next Thursday. She gave me a steroid shot and a z-pack of antibiotics to start clearing up the infection. If the CT scan comes back normal, she said she was going to put me on antibiotics for a month, then send me to an allergist. I don't know why the meds for a month...ugh. All I know is that the ones she put me on today is keeping me near the bathroom.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
7/13/17 12:49 P

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Tina, so nice you got away to visit friends. What part of Cuba will your friend be going too. Would like to hear where they will be diving and with who.

Oh no not another sinus infection, what is triggering these infections?

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
7/12/17 9:39 P

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Hey there! I'm not ignoring you, we just got back from a week in Wisconsin, visiting friends and such. We decided on a really cheap hotel, so the wifi didn't work, the room was pretty bad, but, we didn't spend much time there anyway!

Michela, I haven't heard of either of the places you mentioned in Roatan. glad you were able to book a reasonable place in Cuba. The girlfriend I usually travel with for diving is going to Cuba later this coming winter, I think. She's going with a group from a dive shop. I'm anxious to hear how it goes.

I will be going to the doctor in the morning. I think I have another sinus infection....ugh.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
7/11/17 6:47 P

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Yes Dennis Cuba has always been a popular vacation destination for Canadians and Europeans
Look like it will be for US soon too!
Be careful what you wish for, all this rain fir a short summer season really sucks ! Although 100 degree weather Is a bit much

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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7/11/17 4:38 P
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I didn't know you could go to Cuba 11 years ago. Hope you have a good time there.
I'll trade you the rain for some 100 degree weather.
t

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
7/11/17 11:58 A

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Hey all, where are you all hiding?

Ok so Roatan was gonna cost more than we wanted for a 1 week vacay with diving and all and the 2nd week at home was going to add up no matter what we did,so we book 2 weeks in Cuba! We haven't been there in 11 years. It's mostly a beach vacay but there is a dive op at the hotel next door to where we will be so will bring our gear and we'll check it out. Cuba is not known as a dive destination per se so we will not make it an every day dive routine like we do in Coz but probably a couple of days per week. Who know we may love it and do more.

Hope you are all well and enjoying the summer so far. We are getting some rain almost everyday. Crappy summer so it's good to get away south.

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
7/6/17 2:00 P

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Thank you Tina, that would be fun! Someday you never know!
Right now we are entertaining a week in Roatan for our 2nd week vacay. Not really such a deal but cheaper than it used to be and I was surprised that there is a direct flight from here too. My choices are Henry Morgan or Media. those are the only place available for the week we have. I know you stayed at Anthony's Key but do you know anything about Henry Morgan? I am ruling out Media cause I read reviews that the showers and bathroom sink are salt water emoticon can't do that! eww!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
7/4/17 7:19 P

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Michela, if you ever decide you want to come to Tennessee, you have a place to stay. No strings attached. You can stay here and go site seeing or whatever all day and come and go as you want. At least you have a place to stay! It would be great to meet you, too! And T!

Camping in the rain kinda sucks, but sometimes it isn't too bad. You just have to have the right frame of mind!

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
7/4/17 2:02 P

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Great joke Dennis!

Happy 4th to all my American friends! Hope you are all having a great day. emoticon

We had our Canada Day July 1st. Canada's 150th birthday. emoticon
We spent the long weekend camping and it rained hard the first 2 days. Made the campground a muddy mess. UGH! should have stayed home. But did enjoy the big tent however had enough room to put 2 chairs in and created a nice sitting area! emoticon

Now we are re-thinking our 6 night camp trip for our vacation. Not sure the site is going to get dry enough if it continues to rain all the time. If we can find a last minute deal south we just might take it!



�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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6/30/17 10:29 P
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Sorry it's been awhile sense I've been here. I'm glad you like the jokes. Here's one I think you'll like.

"Reporting My Neighbor Virgil!"

Hello, is this the Sheriffs Office? Yes. What can I do for you?
Im calling to report bout my neighbor Virgil Smith.
Hes hiding marijuana inside his firewood! Dont quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but hes hiding it there.
Thank you very much for the call, sir.
The next day, the Sheriffs Deputies descend on Virgils house . They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgils house. Hey, Virgil! This heres Floyd.
Did the Sheriff come? Yeah!
Did they chop your firewood? Yep!
Happy Birthday, buddy!


Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/28/17 12:47 P

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LOL Tina, first time I camped with T he had a Harley and all that was needed except for food and drink was packed onto it. Imagine my shock when I saw the size of the tent he expected both of us to sleep in. It was rough but so simple then. The bigger the ride got the more stuff we just had to have. emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
6/27/17 7:31 P

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Hmm, Michela, I guess that means you wouldn't like our tent too much...a 3 person tent (ha, yeah, right) that is just barely big enough for two sleeping bags side by side, and just tall enough to sit up in! Gotta love backpack tents...NOT

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/27/17 10:28 A

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Beth, yes we are almost done except for those maybe future projects. Still need to paint the risers but we were away this past weekend and will be camping this coming weekend so that will have to wait. And then order the cabinets for our wine bar in the basement that will be done later this summer so we can have installed before winter when we will be cocooning by the fireplace.
I will try to get some decent pics soon. They don't come out too great.

Tina, we should have signed up for a home remodeling show! I lve watching them so I am sure someone out there would watch ours, the grumpier the better!

So T dove this last weekend and it was the first long weekend since I was certified that I chose not to dive. Don't seem to have it in me to do the local stuff anymore, it is too much work to get suited up and in the water let alone getting out of the water. Nope I was good sitting in a chair in the sunshine. Not to say I will never do it but seems every day a different body part hurts emoticon
This weekend we will be off camping. We just got a new tent high enough to that we don;'t have to crouch to get in and out anymore! Yes getting old sucks but I love the nice roomy tent we got!
emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
6/23/17 8:39 A

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Yeah, I think Michela and I could have done a show over the last year or two on remodeling! Not that anyone would have watched it (I was PRETTY grumpy during lots of it)!

Oh, and Beth...you have been gone a LONG LONG time! At least it seemed like it to us!

Yes, we want to get back on the trail and give it another go, for a little longer this time, just to see if we can, I guess. Try it a little differently. I know what you mean about the wine being heavy! I would have liked to have brought some, it might have helped me unwind at the end of the day... And, yup, I would have done a lot better job of it and enjoyed it more 30 years ago, too, but, since I can't go back...gotta try it now while I'm younger than I will ever be again!

Isn't it amazing that BP cuffs can tell who will get most upset by it if it tells you higher numbers? It's got it in for you, Beth! It knows your HEU wouldn't get upset no matter what it says (because guys usually don't get upset about those things, they think they will live forever no matter what), so why give him big numbers?

I'm sure the healthier eating will help a lot, but, just getting that aggravating job out of the way will make a big difference!

Happy Friday everyone! It's pouring rain here (for the second day). Gotta go work on my stained glass window.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
6/22/17 10:15 P

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Now, how can you POSSIBLY have a bad day when you are greeted as a "Dollbaby?"
emoticon Thanks Michela!

Michela, did I just read that most of your interior projects are done? Except for staining floors (future) and upper level bathroom (future)? Congrats on THAT achievement! Got photo's? Or are they too difficult to get good views of?

Tina, sounds like you guys have made excellent progress too. (How long have I been gone??) The stone work does sound like "work," but it sounds like "worth it" work. I know some of that stuff isn't "fun" to do, but I find some of it to be very satisfying to have done it ourselves. And less expensive too! (However, I will NOT sign up to shoveling yards of river stone again. That was back-breaking!)

I hope you do get back on the trail...whether it's for a day, a week, a month, or a whole darned through hike. Gotta say, doing it in sections sounds a bit saner...through hiking would have sounded good to me...uh...30 years ago. Now though...I'm not sure I could carry that pack. Wine is heavy.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

As for pre-hypertension, I did buy a BP cuff...and I am not happy with it. It lies. To me. My HEU is pretty happy with it...it likes him. It hates me. Yep, I've got to address that. Getting back into a decent workout schedule...but I DO need to go grocery shopping and start cooking a bit healthier. (You know, healthier than "go out" or "frozen pizza.")
emoticon

Hope you are all having a great week!

-Beth
MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/21/17 8:44 A

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HELLO Dollbabies!

Beth so good to see you back and wow you have your hands full.Sorry that job had you yelling back but sometimes it's needed. There is just so much crap one can handle without losing it.
So it's a good balance that the other job is smooth sailing.
Really sorry to read that about your mom. emoticon It's tough girl, I know, but we do the best we can for them while we can. She I am sure appreciates all you do for her. You are a great daughter.
Now don't scare us with your pre-hypertension. I, like you have always been a little lower than normal and then one day years ago it was sky high. Then ok again a few months later.
Best to check your pressure often, maybe the stress of that one job was the reason and it may be more normal when the dust settles.But wise to get a handle on it now in any case. It is easy to forget good habit when there is so much else to think and worry about.

And hey for sure come for a visit and we'll throw caution to the wind and cook up something decadent and delish!

Tina, show pic of your stone work when done. Are you using a real stone or a stone veneer?
Starting to think about how to change my exterior and hope to get it done next year.




�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
6/20/17 11:10 P

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Yay, Beth! SO glad you are back! Sorry you had such a tough time with the one job. Sounds like the second one is a lot better.

Yes, we definitely have to find a time and place to get together. Wine...great! All the other (lobster, etc) sounds awesome, too!

We plan to get back on the trail in September for a few weeks. We will pick up where we left off and try to get through the Smoky Mountains. We'll see how that goes, and then decide if we want to finish the trail next year. Whether we do or not, let's still plan to get together sometime soon! Michela, you are welcome to come too, or, like Beth said, we could come visit you and get the groceries, and all pitch in to make a fabulous meal together! Yum!!!

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
6/20/17 10:29 P

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Hello Team,

It seems I fell off the planet again...I apparently have an anti-gravity problem. If only I could bottle it as a cosmetic!

Dennis, thank you (as always) for the jokes, and yes I DO share them not only with my HEU (Husband Equivalent Unit) but also with every other relative/friend that seems appropriate! And my version of "appropriate" is somewhat out of bounds on a regular basis...oopsie.
emoticon

Michela and Tina, you are as busy as I had anticipated...long lost sisters it seems. Tina, I am still bummed that you had to leave the trail, but I am very happy that you're feeling better. We should meet under better circumstances...you know...fine dining and wine. Okay, well, between where you live and where I live, I guess we should shoot for the wine...and I dunno, ribs, burgers, lobsters...whatever we find. ;-) If we want something fancier, we need to go visit Michela...and beg her to cook. (I promise, we'll spring for the ingredients...and the wine. And chop/prep and do cleanup!)
emoticon

It's been hectic here, but getting better. We had a contract that turned...uh...childlike and ridiculous. We are mostly finished with that one. Once the parts come in and the system is ready to build, we are on call for that...but hopefully they won't need us. ( I am ashamed to say I have had two yelling matches with the "lead" of that project. I am usually smart enough to walk away and wait until the other person is "sane" enough to speak coherently...but those two were so foolish I actually yelled back. I very rarely raise my voice. Not the best experience I've ever had. But I will learn from it nonetheless.) ;-(

We've also been crazy busy with another heavy contract...that one is going great. Just as crazy a schedule as the first one I mentioned...but more realistic people involved. (If you can imagine a group of PHD's, Physicists, Chemists, and Scientists to be "realistic.") Good thing they're sane...I am SO outgunned with that brainpower behind them! emoticon

Aside from that, we've been doing the same kind of stuff as you two girls...yard work, home improvement stuff, and taking care of my mothers yard/stuff.

We'll be tearing down her (moms) pool soon, it isn't holding water, we can't find the leak, and she rarely uses it anymore. And I'm the one that's been taking "care" of it for the past several years. (Hard to do from offsite...and mom just can't do it anymore.) A sad time for sure...she's always had a pool, and she's always loved it. She has 24/7 access to mine, but that does mean she has to drive to it. Things for her are changing in the bad direction...too fast...too much in such a short time. :-(

I have been letting my health/diet/exercise go by the wayside...and got a wake-up call with my last Dr appt. Apparently my blood pressure is now pre-hypertension. When did THAT happen? I've always had LOWER than normal blood pressure. Time to make some changes.

Woo Hoo, what a ride. I'll be tracking again to figure that mess out...and doing my best to make time to take care of myself. That seems to be the very first thing that I let go when my schedule gets rough. Exercise? Later. Food Shopping? Another day...we'll go out to eat this week/month. Yep, gotta fix all that stuff.

Okay, there's my book. Sorry about that. emoticon

Hope you are doing great...and I'll try to post more. I need to pay attention!


-Beth
SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
6/16/17 8:36 P

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Yes, we will be doing the stone work ourselves. We both have done it in the past, so, we know what we are doing. I actually enjoy doing it, other than it being hard work, it's kind of artistic. The stone should be here in another two or three weeks, I think.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/16/17 1:31 P

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Tina, that is alot of work! I am tired just thinking of it. Are you doing the stone work yourselves?

We will have the main bathroom on the upper level still to do in the future. Everything else is pretty much done,unless we decide to have our wood floors sanded and stained in the future. They are natural right now but would like to stain them eventually. At that point we would switch out the parquetry we have on the upper bedroom floor. But the outside has to be our next priority project.

Have a great weekend everyone!


�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
6/13/17 6:09 P

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Michela, after the porch is done, we will be putting stone on the front and sides of the porch and the lower part of the front of the house that matches up with the height of the porch. Then I think we are done until we decide to do the kitchen. I would like to completely gut it and start over. New cabinets, countertops, sink, tile on the floor and backsplash. I guess we could keep the appliances. They are all stainless steel. I would consider a new refrigerator, since I don't like how small this one is. Otherwise, I will just be busy as can be working outside with the bonsais, Japanese garden, and our wooded lot next door. We are finally starting to get the poison ivy under control over there, so later this summer we will start making a trail throughout the lot. Then I will start planting some plants over there among the trees.

Yeah, Beth, where you hiding, girl?!?!?

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/13/17 10:05 A

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Tina, what spare time! OMG it seems it never ends. The garden needs constant tending and our exterior is so neglected with T being so busy inside the house. House needs painting, gutters should be replaced, front door needs painting or replacing.....but maybe next year. I would like to change out the ugly stucco we have for stone, but we'll see.
For now our odds and ends inside take priority and we want to take a break. We have 2 long weekends coming on the 23 and 30th this month so would like to get away and then enjoy some camping or whatever for our 2 weeks off this summer.

Seems you never stop with your place either. Are you done once the porch is finished?
Nice that you also have some fun time planned with friends and getting back on the trail end of summer. emoticon

Beth, come out for a breather, miss you girl!



�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
6/12/17 7:17 P

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wow, really good one, Dennis!!! Always pays to get a second opinion on SERIOUS stuff!

Michela, that is so cool that you are almost done with your projects! Then what will you do with your spare time?!?! We got everything torn off the porch, got the floor boards on, the column wraps. Today we put up the short posts in between the large ones. Now we need to put on the post covers, railings, and the stairway post and rails. Seems like we will never get done!

I'm going to go visit my friends in WI sometime the beginning of July, and then again the beginning of October. Todd and I are still planning to go out on the trail in September. We're actually looking forward to it. Trying a new approach...doing it the way I planned in the first place! We'll start out slower and listen to our bodies and take breaks once in a while. I think we will do much better. And it will help that I won't be suffering from Permethrin toxicity this time!

I hope everyone is enjoying their early summer. I've been trying to squeeze some time into working on the Japanese garden in between everything else, which is very hard to do! It's coming along! I will have to post some pictures soon.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/12/17 12:55 P

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Tina, happy to hear your feet are better. I had part of my toenail come off a few months back too. UGH I feel your pain.
Taking on the whole front porch is a big job. We are getting very close to completion of our 1.5 year of weekends doing renovation work. I can hardly believe it.
Getting the electrician in Wed to install the plugs,and install stair lights. then we can mount the tv over fireplace and hook up the propane for fireplace.All the will be left in basement is ordering the bar cabinets. Chances we will not get it in before summer vacay so it will be a fall project but at least we can start moving in furniture and stuff.The ground floor powder room, mudroom and laundry room are all done! Just a few little paint repairs here and there.
We got the stairs stained last week and T will be painting the risers and trim this weekend. That should be it I think! emoticon

Dennis, lol that is a good one. Poor guy! emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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6/11/17 11:21 P
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I read this one and thought you might get a kick out of it.

If I told you where I get all the jokes, I wouldn't be able to share them with you, OK.

"New Underwear! ........."

The doctor said, 'Jeff, the good news is, I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Jeff was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit...'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit..'
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.'
Jeff laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Jeff tried on the suit - it fit perfectly.
As Jeff admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Jeff thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Jeff and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Jeff was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Jeff tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Jeff walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
Jeff thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.
Jeff laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! - I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old..'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'
New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
6/9/17 10:48 P

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Michela, sorry I haven't been on here lately. Todd decided we needed to rebuild the front porch, so we have been very busy tearing off, and rebuilding.

My feet are doing much better. The blisters are all gone, the toenail on the left big toe, well, I accidentally hit it on something and it bent up straight, so I trimmed it down quite a bit, and it laid back down, so I'm still waiting for it to fall off. Too much flesh hanging onto it yet. Ugh. I wish it would just fall off all ready!!!

We have been talking about going back on the trail this fall, for the month of September. We will pick up where we left off before going home. We should be able to get through the Smoky mountains, about 180 miles. Maybe more. We're both looking forward to going out and getting more miles done, only slower and smarter. We'll see how it goes. I will try to post on the blog as we go.

Great jokes Dennis and Michela!!!

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/9/17 6:07 P

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Good one Dennis!
Yes I do share the jokes with other half , he does get a kick out of them!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



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That was a good one Michela, thanks. The trouble is it hits too close to home.
Did anybody show the last joke to your husbands?

"In Service"

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names ...and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"What is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.
"Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex's voice was trembling and barely audible, when he asked, "Which service? The 8:30 or the 11:00?"

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
6/9/17 2:02 P

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Hello everyone
It sure is quiet here. Hope everyone is doing well.

Tina how is your foot. Hope your all healed.
Beth guess work overload is keeping you busy.
Dennis keep the jokes coming.

Speaking of jokes I got one for you all.

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Ha! Thats not going to help, she said.

Sure, it does, he said. Its the only way I can see the numbers.
emoticon

Have a great weekend everyone!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
5/26/17 12:09 P

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Great jokes Dennis! emoticon

Hope everyone is doing well and wishing you all a great weekend!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



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5/21/17 2:48 A
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Here's something that might cheer you up, especially your husbands.

Little Boy & The Story of the King

"5 Year Old Son, After Reading Story Of A King"
Son: Mom, I also want 5 wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sleep.
Son: No mom, i will still sleep with you.
Mom's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son
Mom: but who will sleep with your 5 wives.
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son!

Here's an extra laugh....

"Lunatics!"

An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his cell phone.
"Honey," she says in a worried voice, "please be careful.
There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the highway."
"Oh it's worse than that," he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
5/17/17 9:09 A

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Tina, so sorry you had to abandon the trail. I know it must be a bummer after planning for so long. I followed your blog and felt to bad that you had to face medical issues. Most important thing is that you are okay and healing well.
You know you don't have to post your weight on the challenge, just take it a few pounds at a time doll. You certainly do not need to feel embarrassed at all. We all go through the ups and downs. It is a constant roller coaster ride with me.

Hope everyone has a great day! It's a beautiful day here finally and we have a long weekend coming! Going to spent time in the garden and hope no rain for the weekend.

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
5/16/17 9:57 A

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That was a really good one, Dennis!

Sorry I haven't been here lately. Been going through a sort of "mourning" period after having the medical issues on the trail and having to go home.

I probably won't do the weigh in stuff for a little while, either. My weight, for some reason, has gone out of control! I'd be embarrassed to do it right now...ugh.

Michela, I'm so glad you were able to escape the water issues in your area. I feel so bad for the ones that were right in the mess. Thank goodness you were spared!

Beth, sounds like you are just busy as all get out, but that's good. Keeps you out of trouble! I feel really bad that we won't be meeting you along the trail, but, we will figure something out some time to get together! It would be great to meet you!

Well, I better get outside and plant my plants before it gets too hot. Supposed to be in the upper 80's today and the next few days, whew!

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
5/16/17 8:56 A

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emoticon Good one Dennis! emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



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5/16/17 1:55 A
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Sorry to hear about all the flooding back there. We sure could use that water out here in So. CA.
This is a cute one though, hope it cheers you up.

"Granny Turned 100"

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right side.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left side.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said.... 'Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew......
'Bastards won't let me fart'.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
5/15/17 10:24 A

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Beth TG the rain was not as bad as originally predicted. OMG stress levels were high. We are so blessed and thankful that we were spared this horrible ordeal but I feel for these poor people that have been busy all weekend tearing their walls down and throwing out everything that got destroyed.

So nice that you got to do the eulogy and I am sure Chris was smiling down on you.
Awesome on the two contracts. I did not realize that you and your HEU worked together. Hope you meet your deadline and get to enjoy a breather soon.
Plant shopping with you mom is a good start!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
5/13/17 8:50 P

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Michela, I hope this weekends rain does NOT cause you problems! I hope your new digs are high enough to overcome any flooding issues.

Dennis, thank you for the jokes...they're awesome! I have no clue how you find so many good ones...but you do, and from now on, YOU are my joke resource. :-)

Things here have been too freaking busy! The memorial service is done, I managed to get through the eulogy without turning the church soggy...having aimed for laughter instead. (Chris was a funny guy...I chose to go that route.)

Aside from that, we've got two contracts that are both in peak "we need it now" mode. So, we've both been working 16 - 20 hour days...including weekends. We're exhausted. Hopefully we'll be able to come up for air in the next week or so. (We kind of have to...otherwise we will BE the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.)

Happy Mothers day to all the moms out there. I'll be taking my mom out NEXT weekend instead of this weekend. Partly due to the horrible rain forecast for tomorrow, but mostly due to my ridiculous work schedule. Next weekend though...plant shopping with mom!

Cheers! emoticon

-Beth
MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
5/12/17 12:42 P

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Hi everyone!

Hope all is going well with you all.

It's been a couple of rough weeks here lately. We have had areas with major flooding right in my neck of the woods and in other regions of Quebec. TG we were spared, we are 3 house away from the river so we were plenty nervous. Our house sits higher so we were ok but with more rain this weekend we are still nervous. You just never know. We were busy last weekend helping out one badly hit street very close to us. It was total devastation. UGH I don't think I'll ever get the vision of it out of my mind and of those poor people evacuating their homes as it filled up with water from the ground. With the sudden thaw and record breaking rainfall in April and early May the ground was just so saturated it rose right up from the ground. The street literally looked like a lake.

Wishing you all a great weekend!

emoticon






�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
5/2/17 9:04 A

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emoticon Great jokes Dennis!
Haha actually T does have a sense of humor, I just bug the crap out of him. emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



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5/2/17 12:33 A
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Glad you like them. Here's another one.

"A Man Walks Into A Bar"

A man walks into a bar with his little Jack Russell terrier.
He puts the dog on the barstool next to his.
The bartender wanders over and the man says, Ill have a pot thanks, mate. The dog says, Ill have a margarita.
The bartender does a double-take and looks over to the dog and asks, Did you just talk?
Yep, says the dog.
My God! says the bartender. Thats incredible. This is unreal. Who would have thought: a talking dog, here in my bar? Tell me more about yourself. You must have had an amazing life as a talking dog.
The dog assumes an indifferent pose and speaks in quite a matter-of-fact manner:
Yeah, you could say its been a big journey. I trained for a while with the US Marines. Saw a bit of action in Iraq cant tell you more. I joined the Bolshoi Ballet for a stint. That was hard work but incredibly satisfying. Ive written a few best-selling novels in my spare time. That was good fun. Of course, there have been film offers, TV shows. Wine, women and song. All that!
The bartender is now purple with excitement. He turns to the man. We could make a fortune. We could charge people to come into this bar and hear your dog talk. How much would you charge to allow your dog to talk here?
About $10, the man replies.
Why only $10? Thats madness! exclaims the bartender.
The man answers: Hes a liar. He hasnt done half those things.


"Navajo Hitchhiker!"

I saw this one and had to share it. Send it to T and see if his sense of humor gets any better.

Sally (AKA Lone Wolf) was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a word or two of thanks, she got in the car.
After resuming the journey and a bit of small talk, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. Got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for a moment, and then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder said, "Good trade."


Edited by: 45AQUA-MAN at: 5/2/2017 (00:44)
Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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He has no sense of humor.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/27/17 11:22 A

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Hi Beth, how have you been? Before the house we managed at least one 2 week trip a year. Last time we went away was Bonaire in summer 2015 and it doesn't look like a vacation is in the cards this year either.
Did you open your pool yet? T got ours uncovered and started treating it last weekend. Hopefully May will warm up where we can start using it soon.

Happy travels Tina!

Dennis, I sent your parrot joke to T but changed David's name to mine and made him the parrot.LOL he was not amused! emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
4/26/17 9:22 P

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Dennis, that was another great joke! Thank you again! Geez, where do you find these?

Tina, I hope your weather forecast changes for the better! Rough way to start the adventure. I hope everything goes smoothly for you, and I'm looking forward to meeting you when you get this far north!

Michela, I'm with you about the local (cold) diving. I'm a resort diver now. Except I seem to never take vacations anymore. I've got to fix one of those two things. The swimming pool has it's place...but diving isn't it!

-Beth
MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/26/17 11:47 A

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LMAO!!! No you did not post that one Dennis and it's really funny! emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



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This is a good one, but I'm not sure if I sent it to you already, anyway I hope you enjoy it.

"The Dirty Bird!" A guy named David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that werent expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the birds attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Noting worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Davids extended arm and said, I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness. David was astonished at the birds change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, May I ask what the chicken did?

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/25/17 8:52 A

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Sorry to hear about the rain Tina. I will pray to the weather gods that the sun shines for you guys. Safe and happy travels doll! emoticon emoticon emoticon

So jealous of your 70 degrees Dennis!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
4/24/17 8:38 P

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Well, I checked the forcast, and, of course, it's going to pour on the first day of our hike...and then a chance for rain every day for the first week and a half...ugh. I was hoping for nice weather for the first few days until we got into a good routine for setting up and breaking down camp before dealing with rain. Looks like baptism by fire...or rain, as it were.... I'm going to miss all of you while we are gone. Talk to ya'll in October!

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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It cooled off today, 70.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/24/17 12:15 P

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emoticon emoticon That was a really good one Dennis! Goin to be passing that one around!

Hope you all had a great weekend. It was a spring clean up for us yesterday. The weather was nice so we took advantage of that. Back to cold today and more rain on the way this week. GRRRRR!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
4/24/17 12:11 A

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That was a great one, Dennis!

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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Since you like jokes, here another one. I'll try not to give you too many.

"You Could Have!"

Haha!
A married couple is traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George.
Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $$350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $$350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $$350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.
"But we didn't use them," the husband said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check.
She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is made out for only $$50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $$300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/20/17 7:20 P

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Great jokes Dennis! We can count on you for a few giggles!
As for rain we are having flooding situations in our area. Haven't seen anything like this since moving here .
Sewers cannot handle all the water that is accumulating from the rain and melted snow more up north draining into the river .
It's scary so yeah more dry weather and sun is needed here. Send it over!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



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4/20/17 6:55 P
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Hi everybody, you asked for jokes, hope you like this set. Tell me if they ring true. I'll trade you guys some beautiful weather for some rain. The next week is supposed to be in the low 80's.

More Giggles...........
Thursday, March 23, 2017
"And That's When The Fight Started!...."

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
Anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 In about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

"And That's When The Fight Started!......"
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

"And That's When The Fight Started!....."
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive...
So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...

Stupid me thought I'd take an early morning horse ride this morning since it was such a nice day.
Everything was going fine until I got a little dizzy and fell off.
Unfortunately my left foot was caught in the stirrup and it drug me around for what seemed like forever.....
luckily the Manager of Walmart came out and unplugged it and helped get my foot out.
From now on it's the Police Car or the Duck......

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/20/17 9:28 A

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Hello everyone!

Beth our weather has been up and down too. Saturdau was our better day then rain, rain and more rain! UGH ,forget about May flowers, they are being drowned out!
The cartoon is so cute!

Tina we are hanging in there, we miss her so much and can't believe she is gone. Sort of in the denial phase I guess.
So exciting that your departure date is so close.Hope all the nastiness will go away before you leave. So cool that you & Beth will be meeting up!

Not sure I will be doing any local diving this summer. Just not into it anymore. I may do a couple just to keep it up. No plans for a summer dive trip either. The house is sucking up all our $$$.

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
4/20/17 9:15 A

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Cute cartoon, Beth! Glad you had some good Easter weather.

My son came to visit for the Easter weekend. We went out for good ol' southern BBQ, and continued to eat WAY too much for the entire weekend. I gained 4 pounds! Ugh. Well, soon enough I will be wearing it off!

We leave a week from today for our adventure. We are ready! Can't wait to get started. Just hoping we are both healthy at the start. I had that darned sinus infection, and then this week I came down with whatever crud Todd had when he came back from his trip to WI/IL/MN. It's nasty! I have a week to try to get rid of it, though it took him about two weeks to totally shake it. However long it takes, we are still leaving on our start date!

I know we are just starting out soon, but, I'm looking forward to getting towards the end of the hike so we can meet Beth! We really appreciate that you are willing to take the time and effort to come meet us on the trail and spend a little time with two stinky, filthy, hungry hikers! We're very excited! Bring a clothes pin for your nose!

Michela, how are you doing, girl? Hope things are getting less painful at home, though I know the loss of a loved pet takes some time to get over. My prayers are still with you and T.

Dennis, what's been happening with you? are you still doing lots of swimming? Are all your body issues getting straightened out?

Has anyone been diving lately or have any trips planned??


I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
4/19/17 10:08 P

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Thank you Dennis, those jokes were awesome! I needed that.

I hope you all had a great Easter. We had a nice, very small, Easter celebration here. The weather was fantastic, in the 80's...I actually had to set up the shade umbrella. Odd, we've had temps...50, 55, 60ish, 85 (Easter Day), 60,50... It was just Easter day that was phenomenal.

And we still have snow in the front yard. But I believe that will be gone by the end of the week. Or at least I hope so!

And on that note, I post this. I hope it comes through clearly enough.


PS - In case the caption is unreadable, it is:
Time to get home kids. I don't know what you were doing hiding under those bushes. And wearing all that outrageous makeup! Wait until your father hears about this!

Edited by: BIONICBETH at: 4/19/2017 (22:10)
-Beth
MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/16/17 7:49 A

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Happy Easter everyone! emoticon emoticon emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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4/15/17 10:58 P
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Glad you liked them, I'm not quite as bad as the guy in the shower, but I can identify with it, just ask my wife.
One of my spark friends has an endless supply of jokes.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
4/15/17 8:04 P

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Great jokes, Dennis! Happy Easter, everyone.


I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/15/17 5:46 P

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Omg Dennis I asked for more jokes and man oh man did you ever deliver . The shower one had me roaring emoticon

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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4/15/17 1:36 A
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I hope you don't mind 2 jokes. It sounds like you need a good laugh, enjoy.
I hate to admit it but I can identify with this joke.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A.......
Thursday, March 30, 2017
"How To Shower Like A Woman": Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and colored. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit ups. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower, Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas. "How To Shower Like A Man": Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake Tallywhacker at her making "woo hoo!" sound. Look at manly physique in the mirror. Admire size of your Tallywhacker and scratch your Butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash you butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap. Shampoo hair Make shampoo mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor. Admire Tallywhacker size in mirror again. Leave shower door open. Leave wet mat on floor. Leave light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake Tallywhacker at her and make "woo hoo!" noise again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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I like blonds, but this was too funny, enjoy.

"Blonde Driving A Convertible!"

There's this blonde girl driving a convertible sports car a little too fast down the highway when she gets pulled over by a police car.
Who should step out of the police car but a female, blonde cop.
The cop walks up to the blonde in the sports car and says "Hi. I noticed you were going a little fast back there. Can I see your driver's license?"
The blonde grabs her purse and rummages around for a minute and then looks at the cop and says "um, what does it look like?"
The cop says "It's a little square thing and it has your picture on it."
The blonde looks back in her purse and spots a little square compact mirror. She pulls it out and looks at it. Sure enough, right there in the middle is her face.
She hands it to the police officer. The cop takes a look at it and immediately hands it back.
"Oh, you're free to go. I didn't know you were a cop

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/12/17 10:53 A

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Thank you dolls, it's part of life when adopting a fur baby. Unfortunately they are with us for too short a time.But knowing it does not make it any easier to accept when it's time.

Beth you can share as much as you want anytime.

Dennis, yes please more jokes are welcome!

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
4/11/17 9:18 P

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Michela, I'm so sorry to hear about Abby! I know you gave her a great life, and she probably had NO idea how spoiled she was in the land of furbabies...but we (the pet humans) know.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

And thank you. Don't look it up. Actually, I removed the *** section. I wish I had known to anticipate that kind of problem...but maybe I shouldn't share quite "that" much. Maybe not everybody wants to know.

Jokes would be WAY better!

DEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIS? Got more?

Edited by: BIONICBETH at: 4/11/2017 (21:19)
-Beth
SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
4/11/17 5:17 P

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Oh, Michela. I am so sorry to hear about your sweet little dog passing. It is so hard to let go of a cherished pet. My prayers are with you in your time of grief. emoticon

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
4/11/17 9:18 A

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Oh Dennis, I needed a chuckle right now.

Beth so sorry about your uncle, such a sad thing to happen. emoticon
Don't think I will be looking that up. Lived it when my sister was bedridden before she passed away. Luckily the nurse coming in to care for her knew what to do to prevent worst case scenario.

Tina, Seems you sinus issues are a real PITA problem. Hopefully you will find some relief from it.

Sadly we lost our precious babygirl Thursday. She was not going to have much longer and we were already starting to come around to it and it was a matter of when. When do we know it's the right time?. Did alot of reading and praying for answers. The doctor I communicated with reassured us it was the right time but we waited. Every time she seemed to have a better day we were hopeful that we could keep her going on the meds. But they were not working. Her breathing was labored. Wednesday night she went limp when T took her out. She came too. Thursday I took her home early and took her out and she went limp again and came too.I think oxygen was not getting to her brain. I put her in her doggie bed and watched her just resting and struggling to breathe. I knewv then it was time. called T and then we called the doctor who came over to the house. We all huddled on the floor with her until she passed on.We had a very special spiritual experience but we are heartbroken. Can't even tell you how shattered we are to lose her. Still hoping this is a nightmare I will wake up from.
This was taken on the 3rd just 3 days before she passed and looking as cute as ever apart from the sweet potato baby food stains on her.



�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



45AQUA-MAN's Photo 45AQUA-MAN SparkPoints: (139,611)
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4/9/17 1:41 A
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I saw this one and thought you might like it, enjoy.


"Mother In Law!"

A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him.
As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
To everyones astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away .
Werent you afraid? one of the workers asked the boy.
Not at all, the boy replied , I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.

Nothing tastes or feels as good as being fit and slim feel!

I buffet my body and make it my slave!

When I eat healthy I enjoy my food all day!


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BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
4/7/17 7:54 P

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Tina, I keep forgetting you used to be in law enforcement. Yes, ouch indeed. This is just another one of those things...you may have "heard" about the problem, but never researched it, and never knew anybody who experienced it. But once you see/know about it up close and applied to somebody you care about...it's a whole lot more real. And you learn the details and the impact of whatever ailment it is. (Alzheimers. I've heard it was bad...I knew it was memory related...I had NO idea of all of the "other" things that are affected.)

The more I learn, the less I want to know! At least with regard to this type of thing.

Spring has finally begun to peep in here too. I can see some of the grass in the back yard again. The back yard has less than 50% snow left. Yay! The front and side yards...well, that's still 100% snow...but hopefully not for long.

Daffodils? Uh, mine are still under about a foot of snow. (front yard)

Can't the doctor use the information from the last several sinus infections you've had? You seem to suffer from those a heck of a lot.

Michela, I hope all is well with you guys! I hope your snow is melting too. Enough of this "winter" thing!

-Beth
SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
4/4/17 10:56 P

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Beth, so sorry to hear about your uncle. I understand about what you were talking about between the ***. I was a death investigator for the medical examiner's office for a couple of years after I retired from the police department. I got to see that kind of thing at nursing homes and in homes of the people that suffered that. So sad they had to feel that! Ouch! Your family is in my prayers.

Michela, I am also hoping for comfort for your pup. So sorry y'all have to go through that, too.

Beth, I have "Spring" here! The dogwoods are starting to bloom, the daffodils are done, the creeping phlox and early blooming azaleas are in full bloom. Heck, even my irises are up about 7 or 8 inches all ready. I had a doctor appointment today (checkup), and told her I think I have horrible allergies or something because my ears are bothering me, my head is stuffy, I have a headache, etc. She checked me over and told me I have a nasty sinus infection. Oh boy. Prednisone and antibiotics...yuck. I seem to be getting these darn things two to three times a year (since I had that ear incident diving in Bonaire in 2013). Since she's a new doctor to me, she said as soon as I have a couple more in a reasonable amount of time, she will have me see an ENT to see what the issue is (most likely Eustachian tube issue, she thinks). But, I have to have three infections in a year's time. Not that I want to, but I'm sure it will happen. It'd be nice to find out what's wrong and get it fixed if possible.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
4/4/17 9:32 P

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Okay, I could use a joke here...Dennis...where'd ya go?

So, all is going as expected. My Down Syndrome/Alzheimer's uncle passed away. While we knew Alzheimer's is an "end of life" kind of disease...we did not see the complication that actually caused the quicker-than-anticipated end. Miserable disease. With too many possible complications.

***Content Removed***

I'll be checking in, but I do have a few busy weeks in front of me.

Michela, I'll keep my fingers crossed for Abby to respond well to meds. It's good that she has such a great family to care for her. I hear you on the "can't do this again" thing. **HUGS**

Okay, that's it for me. I'm happy it's raining instead of snowing. I really could use some hopeful signs of spring about now.

Edited by: BIONICBETH at: 4/11/2017 (21:04)
-Beth
MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
3/31/17 11:11 A

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Tina, it might be time to call a plumber! emoticon

Thanks Tina, we went so far as to see an internist. Basically more med's for now .A bunch of tests will not do anything for her. Confirmed by the doctor who said even the med's will eventually not help. Her pulmonary hypertension is severe. He gave her 6 mths to a year if we are lucky. Somedays she is doing well and I think she'll show us all and then the next day I feel we may lose her sooner than that. We are spoiling her, cooking her anything she will eat and loving her to pieces and praying that she does not get to a point that she is going to suffer.We are getting mentally ready. Geez seems like yesterday I went through this when we lost Charlie. I don't think we can do this again but we have Kenzie so it will be one more time one day and after that I am done with having a fur babies. It is hard to imagine life without one but just can't do it anymore.

Hope you all have a great weekend!



�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



SCUBAHONEY's Photo SCUBAHONEY Posts: 3,191
3/27/17 2:53 P

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Beth, no, the plumbing issue is not perfect. He redid it four times, and the last time there is a very slow seeping at one of the joints (threaded), and he said it's as fixed as it's going to get, unless it gets worse..Ugh. At least it's a lot better than it was originally. Bummer that it's not perfect, though.

As for the fur babies and health issues...I don't know what to say that hasn't been said. So sad you are having to go through all that, Michela.

I am a person of infinite possibilities and dreams.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


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MICHELAR's Photo MICHELAR Posts: 22,705
3/27/17 12:53 P

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Beth, you don't want that problem. It's a sad day when the girls go south! emoticon

I am so sorry about your relative. That is just so sad .
There are no words emoticon

Abby is a really sick girl and new meds are helping for now. She goes up and down. We can only take a day at a time, it is heartbreaking. The meds will make her feel better, ease her breathing but they won't cure her. We saw a cardiologist and he did a echography. She has pulmonary hypertension and ruptured heart valves. It was recommended we see a internist to get a better understanding on the cause of her pulmonary hypertension. Not sure I want to put her through more test and the stress does not help her situation. It's a tough one emoticon emoticon

Beth I am happy to hear that you were able to get so much more time with your furbaby. They are so precious.

�Energy and persistence conquer all things.�

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Anonymous)

From wine what sudden friendship springs! (John Gay 1685- 1732)



BIONICBETH's Photo BIONICBETH Posts: 1,902
3/24/17 8:26 P

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Dennis, thank you for another good joke! I wish I could say that eating in the nude would cause me such a problem, but I would need to be in a higher gravity atmosphere.
emoticon

Michela, I hope Abby is okay! And I understand about the vet bills. When Tucker (the cat) had a vaccine induced sarcoma, that surgery and radiation cost a fortune. Fortunately, it seems to have worked well...that was about 5 years ago, and he's still here. Of course, he's 17.5 years old now...so is slowing down, but that intervention gave him at least 5 more years. I hope the steps you take for Abby turn out every bit as well! And I agree...they're our fur-babies...what else are you going to do? (Okay, don't go there. Nobody!)

Tina, DID the plumbing thing get straightened out? That does sound frustrating!

Thank you for the wishes. Things are not going to end well on this one, and I'm frustrated that NH doesn't have a "right to die" law in place. Nobody should have to suffer so much - especially when there is no hope for survival.

Okay, that's it for me. I need wine. I hope you all have a good weekend.

-Beth
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