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10/7/11 6:52 P

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Hi, thanks for your kind thoughts. We do have respite care - the problem is if I send him for a week-ends or a week. He becomes so disoriented that it takes another week to settle him down again. He does not do well in environments that he is not familiar to him. The pallitive nurse is coming to the house on Monday. I will ask for her advise on how to handle this situation and where to begin. I am also really scared of telling my husband as he definitely not understand and be upset.
I will take it one day at a time. I will start the process slowing until I am ready to make the final decision. (Though I think I aready know what it is going to be.

Thanks for your support.

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10/6/11 11:17 P

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You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I wish there was something that could be done to help you. Have you looked into respite care? I know that Nebraska does offer it for adults done either for free or sliding scale. They will send someone over ever once in a while to give you a break. See if there is something like that in your town.


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10/6/11 4:33 P

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I went to see my GP today and we talked about my husband who has dementia (sort of like Alsheimer. He reiterated that if I continue to feel helpless, or frustrated or just can't do it anymore that I should as the help be placed in a long term facility. I don't think I am quite ready to do that yet. It is also very expensive. We live on his pension which is good. But as I stopped working to take care of him I do not have an income. He could afford to go, but I would be left with no money. Sort of limits the choices. He also insisted that I tell my husband, not ask him, that he needs to go to a day program to give me a break once in a while.

He is also worried that my husband will start wandering off on his own. Or burn the apartment down if he uses the stove. He suggested turning off the breaker whenever I leave to make sure he does not forget to turn the burner off.

The doctor is concerned that if I continue to care for my husband at home even when I feel that I cannot do it anymore, that I may have a relapse with the depression. He is keeping an eye on me. Nice to know someone is in your corner, not just with the person who is sick



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10/4/11 10:09 A

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My husband has not be doing radiation or chemo. His cancer is terminal. He is not well enough for treatment. The doctor told us that in his case the "cure" would probably kill him. My husband has always been a loner. The only outing with friends is when his retiree group gets together about every 3 or 4 months. And again I have to go with him as he cannot go out alone. Even when I go out for errands or to see a friend, when I get back he goes overboard when telling me he missed me. He does not remember how long I have been out.

He memory and physical problems are due to a major stroke a few years ago. It changed things. He became a patient as opposed to being a husband. It feels like I have lost him already. His cancer is slow growing. There are some days I wish it would just be over and that I could be getting on with my life. My husband is 22 years older than I am. This did not matter when I was 26 (age when I met him) but it sure shows now.

Thanks for listening. It helps a lot to vent.

Have a good day

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10/3/11 11:38 P

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Don't ever feel guilty about having to get away for a while. It is natural. It is so very hard to watch the person you love go through this knowing that there isn't anything you can do to stop it. My husband would go over to a friends house to "de-compress". He never told me until long after my treatments were over that he went over there to cry because he couldn't stand the fact that he couldn't take this from me.

As for the memory, I don't know if your husband had problems before radiation, but I know that mine is shot!! I have problems with long term memory and I forget appointments all the time now where before I never did. I have no idea if it is going to get better but I hope things improve for you and your husband. Do you have family around or a good friend that could come over for a few hours to just visit with him while you are out? That might help the situation a bit. You would know that someone was there just in case and he would have some to keep him occupied while you are away.

Prayers and blessings
Barb

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10/3/11 8:04 P

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Some days are soooo frustrating. I went out to have breakfast with a frient of mine and to do a few errands. I was gone less that 2 hrs. When I got back my husband was panicing because he did not know where I was. I saw him before leaving, I even wrote him an itemized list of where I was going and when I would get back. He forgot to check the list I put on his desk and couldn't remember where and if there was a list.

I have to keep telling myself that if I want to keep my sanity I will keep doing what I need to do, even if he gets upset. The only alternative would be to place him in long term care and I am not ready to do that. He also has a standing priority in a paliative care house which is partly run by our family doctor.

I always seem to feel guilty when I go. But the doctor told me that if something were to happen to my husband that it would happen whether I was there or not. That made me feel a bit better

I'm hanging in there

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10/1/11 9:15 P

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First off, I hate it when they give someone a timeline. It's not like they can see the future. I know that if my time is coming, I would like something but not "You have 3 months to live" type bs.

Anyway, I really have no idea how you or my husband do it. I, and this just doesn't ever come out right, am "glad" that it was me and not him because I don't know if I could have kept it together. Our caregivers are the most amazing people in the world. Not only to you offer support when we are sometimes at our worst, you stick with us and keep us going. From the bottom of my heart I want to say Thank you to all you caregivers out there for putting up with us.

Blessings
Barb

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10/1/11 3:27 P

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My husband has terminal lung cancer. I was told that his survival rate was about 8 months. That was two years ago and he still looks healthy as a horse. Go figure. It can be very stressful living with someone who has cancer as you never know what is going to happen next. I try to take it one day at a time. It is easier now than at the beginning as you learn to live with it, sort of.

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9/4/11 8:34 A

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One more minor note, I am having another surgery on September 13. Thought the last hernia repair was it, I am hoping this is the last one.

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9/4/11 8:30 A

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Well, back in May I ended up getting sick as all get out. Thought it was gallbladder and it wasn't. No one ever did find out what the pain was or why I was getting sick. You think I would have lost weight, but no, I put on some. Well, lets see how long I can keep this up this time. I know that I am slow and that I sometimes sabotage my own progress, but I am never going to give up. Not only with my weight loss, but with my life goals.


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5/15/11 9:58 P

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I am so excited!! I am back in Oncerland!!! As of this morning I am 199 lbs!!. I have dropped 11.5 lbs in less then 2 weeks. And I feel WONDERFUL!! My hubby and I have been walking in the evenings (well had to miss the last couple of nights because of rain and a bad storm) and tonight we did 1 1/2 miles. I find that any incline in the walking surface and I really lose my breath. And forget about talking. My hubby wants to talk and I just finally have to snap at him and tell him in broken speech that I can't talk and walk up hill. Men!! LOL. Anyway Really feeling good and hoping that this is the one diet that is going to get me to where I want to be (or even close) for my sons wedding!

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5/11/11 9:13 A

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Well started a new diet last Tuesday and today I am down 8 lbs!! I know that the first week is always the "best" week but I am very hopeful!! It is a high protein (not a hyper protein) and I get veggies and all types of goodies on this one. Granted you have to use their produces three times a day until you lose most of your weight, but so far there has only been one thing that I don't like!! I decided that I had to do something because my sons wedding is in 65 days and I am NOT going to be over 200 lbs. Well, in 2 lbs I will be back in Onderland!! (under 200 lbs) I am so excited. I would love to be like 145, but I am hoping for 160-165. I know that is still overweight for me, but I was happy when I was 170 so this is better. Who knows, maybe when I get there I will try for 150!!

Walking 15 min in the morning and my hubby and I have been walking ever night. We take turns deciding on what way to go. Last night I pick a tuff one. We decided that it has to be between 10 to 30 minutes. If we feel like going longer we do, shorter, well, it still has to be 10 minutes. He is such a trooper!! Granted, he needs to drop about 40-45 lbs, but.....

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4/26/11 10:11 P

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I can't give up Barb, I need to be able to breath better. With having only one lung, and being over weight makes it double hard to breath. Last summer I did loose 47 pounds doing the ALLI diet. It was awesome. But, the only problem is its very expensive to buy the foods to cook and if you have just a little more fat than your suppose to have, your in the bathroom for the next few days. If you stay home and don't work, then it would be ok. But I lost the 47 pounds in only 3 months. It was awesome but not something you can afford to do every day.Plus, the meals you have to make are gourmet meals that take too much time. I am on the Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan. I love it. I lost 8.6 pounds my first week, and i went from 228 to 217 in two weeks. I was sown to 213? but I gained some weight from the holidays and not sticking to the plan. I'm on spar people cause I like the people and I still use this and add my weight watchers points to it. So, talk to you soon. Keep up the good work ok? SHER emoticon WE CAN DO IT! emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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4/24/11 3:43 P

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I figure so long as I never give up, I will win this battle one day. I wish my "breaks" didn't last so long but.... I will never give up. Sounds like you don't plan on giving up either.

Barb

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4/24/11 12:07 A

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emoticon Keep up the Good Work. SHER emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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4/18/11 8:55 A

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Back on track this morning!! Did my 1/2 mile walk before work, have my protein shake ready to go and feeling good!!

Barb

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4/17/11 3:03 P

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Deal!

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4/17/11 12:56 P

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Confessing your sins? thats so cute. But I will kck your butt.lol

emoticon well, the orange juice is healthy. Don't feel bad cause I had chinese food last night. So I'm confessing my sins too. Now you can kick my butt too. lol

Now let's both get back on track ok? Let's make a promise (sorta promise) lol incase we don't keep that promise. lolol Let's do better this week starting Monday morning ok? see you tomorrow. SHER

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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4/17/11 8:47 A

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Well I am starting to screw up already!! I didn't walk at all Friday or Saturday and I am not being to careful with my food choices. Granted, I am not snacking on crap, but I am snacking a bit too much. Heck, I am typing this with a half eaten sausage McMuffin sitting on my desk!! I don't plan on finishing it, but I figured if I held myself at least accountable here, maybe it would stop me before I fell off the deep end and took another 6 month break. I am going to drink the orange juice though. Hope "confessing my sins" here kicks my butt and gets me going again.

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4/14/11 10:26 P

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HI BF, I know what you mean. I quit and came back too. Also, my feet feel like frost bite even when in the hottest water. It is nerve damage from chemo. Dr. put me on some meds but I won't take them because its a muscle relaxer, and it makes me too tired all the time. I'll be ok. I'm learning to deal with it. Could be worse right? I'm alive and that's all that matter. The cancer is gone and that's a good thing. So keep up your good work and talk to you soon. SHER emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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4/5/11 9:13 A

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Sher- I still have neuropathy but only notice it when it is cold. Like the other day I was getting a pickle out of the jar and instead of getting a fork (yeah, I was that lazy) I used two fingers. That was a mistake!! They hurt like heck!! Or if I am standing in the snow, my toes feel like they are frostbit.

Libi-I do the same thing. Last time I went gung-ho, I lost 12 lbs in 3 weeks, then I just quit! I got a bad cold and babied myself a little too long (about 6 months now). I am starting again today. I did a 1/2 mile walk before work today!! I am having a protein shake for breakfast and I have an apple and some string cheese for snacks. Oh, and salmon for dinner!! LOVE fish!!!

This weekend I cleaned the flower beds!! First time in 2 years that I have felt the energy to do that!! I spent most of both Saturday and Sunday out there! It was awesome!! Now I just need to get the energy up to do some serious housework! UGH!!


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4/4/11 10:32 P

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Hi Sher - sounds like neuropathy. Hopefully the Doc put you on something like Neurontin... which is wonderful for treating that.

So I started gung-ho and as usually happens whenever I try to limit my intake of food... I end up binging. I lost 3 lbs the 1st week & gained 2 last week. My weight fluctuates a lot from week to week depending on my digestive system and how it's reacting. I already had issues before my diagnosis and now with the nerve damage it's a nightmare. So I think I'm ready to get back on track but I'm really struggling with cravings and constant hunger.

I just can't believe I get derailed in week 1. Usually I give up but I think I'll give it another go and see if maybe I can get these issues under control.

Have a good evening :)

Libi emoticon

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3/31/11 1:20 A

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HI everyone, I also have trouble breathing. It's so hard for me to walk, shop, work anything. I also have side effexts from chemo in my toes, feet all the way up to my knees. It's like their knub but there not. My feet freeze even in scalding hot water. My toes, feet and legs swell terribly, and the pain in my feet is horible. It wasnt so bad 6 years ago when I had chemo, but as time went on, the days got harder and harder for my feet and legs. Now its at the point that my doctor put me on medicine to make the nerves in my feet ease up. I have nerve damage from the chemo. BUt other than that, Im doing great.
We are all survivors from cancer. We made it through the toughest thing we will ever go through so why the heck can't we loose this weight so we don't get other illnesses that being over weight causes? If we all do this together, then we can be small and healthy again, and maybe, we can make a treat out of this. Lets all loose this weight together and then plan on a trip together to cellebrate cancer free and fat free. Sound good? Well it sure does to me. SHER emoticon we can all do this. emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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3/25/11 12:52 P

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I always say I was lucky with my surgery when I had my upper left lobe removed. I only have problems breathing when I lean over. I also am huffing and puffing if I try to carry anything up the stairs. I can walk up them just fine, but carry anything and I lose my breath.

I finished my chemo September 24, 2009. I had my last chemo that morning and went to my sons college graduation that night. My oncologist told me not to push to hard the first year. Let your body heal and just do what you can. I saw her yesterday and she is telling me it is time to start getting out and walking more. Still not push it to hard, but start.

Take care of yourself and do push it too hard. As far as eating goes, I try not to keep "crap" in the house. I love fruit and have no problem opening a can of green beans and eating them cold from the can. I am also a meat hog!! A steak makes the perfect snack. I keep crystal light on had for sweet cravings that fruit doesn't stop.

Be kind to yourself and you will get there

Blessings
Barb

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3/22/11 7:00 P

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Thanks Barb :)

I started pulmonary rehab last week so I know how far I can push myself. I ended up on oxygen after my 2nd surgery and I'm trying to figure out a way to get off of it. I finished chemo in January and I've gained about a lb a week since then. If I keep going at this rate I'll be as big as a house before too much longer. It's already hard to breathe... added weight is definitely not desirable.

I just have such a hard time with the cravings for foods that I haven't been able to eat, you know? But I think I've worked through all of them now and I should be able to go back to some sort of healthy eating.

I'm trying to find a place on here where I can get help with making better decisions but so far, no go.

emoticon

Wish me luck!

Libi

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3/22/11 9:02 A

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Welcome Lib!!

To be honest, I haven't been tracking anything for a while now, but when I was, I kept things like cucumbers and pickles and other low/no calorie foods around to snack on. I also used crystal light like it was going out of style. I am trying to get back to being a good girl and doing what I need to be doing, but still no energy. My oncologist tells me to be nicer to myself and not push it but I tell myself if I want to get better I better start pushing or I am never going to get off the couch.

Blessings
Barb

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3/21/11 8:12 P

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Hi :) New to this Spark thing. This was the most recent topic so thought this was the best one to start with. I think maybe other survivors who have gone through the healing process may be able to help me not be so self indulgent. Today was day 1 and I finished dinner and I'm starving. I still have a few more calories to use but not enough to really help. I'm trying to find something I can eat that will fill me up but not put me over my calories and I came across this team thing.

Nice to meet you.
emoticon

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3/19/11 2:54 P

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I have a confession, I didn't get out to work in the flower beds. I did go out to get started and the wind was blowing and it was COLD!!! I was going to walk to the store down the street to get some paper lawn bags but I have noticed that since I had the lung out, I can't breath when the wind is in my face. So I cleaned the kitchen and am now watching my 15yo daughter play guitar hero on the Wii. There is always tomorrow.

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3/19/11 1:09 P

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Sounds good Barb. Have a wonderful weekend. We need to get more people in here.
Talk to you soon! SHER emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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3/19/11 10:20 A

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I know what you mean girl!! I can't wait!! Today I am going to be working in the flower beds around the front of the house. I have not done my own yard work in 2 years so this is something I have been looking forward to. The teen help I had to pay for these past few years have not been that reliable and my yard needs some TLC. I am a dirt worshiper so getting my hands in it is therapy for me.

Happy Spring
Barb

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3/18/11 11:34 P

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HI everyone, It's almost spring then summer. Time to get out and walk and breath in that fresh air. Hope your all doing fine. emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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3/5/11 8:30 P

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Well, another week (or more) has passed and I still can't get my butt motivated. Hoping that the warm weather is going to jump start me. Not much going on. Not much to report.

And Gril, 6 YEARS!!!!! You rock and you are bring a boat ton of inspiration!! Thank you so very much for posting that!! I count from the day I had my lung removed so my 2 year is April 29!! It is so wonderful to see people kicking the stats in the a**!

Barb

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3/3/11 7:38 A

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Just checking in to see how everyones doing. SHER emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


 current weight: 207.0 
 
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SHER_60's Photo SHER_60 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/24/11 11:44 P

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Hi, My name is SHER and I am a 6 year Lung Cancer Survivor (March 2011). I have two grown kids, I am a grandmother of 5 and I am a newly Great-Grandmother of 1. I was in college in 2005 at age 55 when I was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I had 2/3rds of my right lung removed, then the horrible chemo then the degrading hair loss. It's ok. I bought cute hats and returned to school and graduated in 2006 as a Medical Assistant. I need to loose my weight so I can breath better. My dad & my younger brother and I all had cancer the same time. My dad & brother didn't make it. My mom had to watch her husband, son and daughter fight for their lives. she's an amazing woman who had to go through such pain of loosing two of her loved ones. My mom & dad were married over 50 years when my dad passed. BUt if you get help early and don't think it will go away, your chances of living is so high. My brother knew he had a spot on his lung for 3 years and never told anyone. NO ONE! It was too late when he did decide to go for help and it had metastisized to all his major organs.

So, I found your spark team page and thought it would be nice to join. But I see no one is here. Hope to see more come in. I have a spark team page also. called SHER's cancer: tea and talk room. It's on my spark page. Anyways, hope to see you soon,

SHER emoticon

"SHER*60"

***SHER's Sticks of Butter*** (challenge on my spark page)***

Three Small Goals to Reach One Large Goal:

*Goal 1 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*first Goal Reached...

*Goal 2 = 17 Pounds & 68 Sticks of Butter
*Goal 3 = 16 Pounds & 64 Sticks


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BFOUGER's Photo BFOUGER SparkPoints: (3,742)
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2/13/11 1:56 P

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Cancer wise, I and still NED (No evidence of disease) and come this April it will be 2 years since I heard that life changing news.

Otherwise, I am still not eating right or exercising. I know I should, but I just don't have the energy. Now the not eating right is not as bad as it might sound. I will eat dill pickles and grape tomatoes for snacks. I am not over eating and for the most part it is kind of health. No fried foods or junk like that. But I am trying and trying to get off the hard candies and the white food (potatoes, bread, rice, pasta). I did get on the treadmill last night for the first time in like forever and did a slow 30 min walk. I am still (after almost 5 flipping weeks) recovering from a hernia repair. I am still in pain and they want me to come in for a CAT scan. If they will do it without contrast, I will, otherwise, I would rather not. After all the crap we put ourselves thought to beat this bastard, I don't like to expose myself to any more radiation then I need to.

Well, that's about all. Hoping with the nicer weather the more energy I will have. My oncologist still tells me that me being what I call lazy is still normal after treatment. That it takes time. I guess I just want it now.

Hope to hear from you all soon,


Blessings
Barb

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BFOUGER's Photo BFOUGER SparkPoints: (3,742)
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Posts: 74
2/13/11 1:48 P

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Since we are not an active group, (which I like to think is because we are all out living our lives and just don't have time) I wanted to have a place where people can just come an put a quick update.

Blessings all
Barb

 current weight: 188.5 
 
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