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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/14/13 7:21 P

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I hope its a huge slap in the face to them, and even if they do not give a sh*t and keep allowing that type of discussion on their site. I will tell everyone about how my situation with that site was handled.

Edited by: WHOVIAN85 at: 10/14/2013 (19:21)
"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
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PHEBESS's Photo PHEBESS Posts: 31,952
10/14/13 5:40 P

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Way to go! Maybe they'll think about what they are willing to allow. Or not.

"Dance as if no one is watching."


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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/14/13 8:50 A

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The most annoying part is I have to send them a request to delete my account, and they give an optional area to fill in why your leaving, here is what I wrote:


I am leaving because CAFEMOM allows hate mongering posters to discuss topics with ignorance and prejudice towards people with HIV/AIDS. After I nicely emailed and requested a thread be shut down because it was hateful towards people with HIV/AIDS(10/12), I was given a sorry excuse of an explanation as to why it will not be removed. Since my husband is (HIV+) I find this to be very offensive and will be deleting my account with CAFEMOM and will be sure to tell everyone and anyone that will listen to me as to how this matter was handled and how I was treated on here.

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/14/13 8:32 A

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Thank you, well they emailed me back and this is what they said(the admins of the other site):

reason: report
subject: HIV thread
feedback:
I reported a HIV thread in Mom's confessions because I felt it is very offensive and demeaning to people who have HIV/AIDs and yet the thread still remains up and running and this anonymous poster gets to degrade people who are HIV+/ AIDS is insulting to me. My husband is HIV + and I am really disappointed that this thread is still up and running after I have seen Admins delete other threads for lesser offenses. If this is how the site is run , I will gladly delete my account and find another parent site that doesn't allow for their members.

HERE IS THEIR RESPONSE:
Hi Amber,

Thank you for your message.

We have reviewed the post but did not find that it violates our Community Guidelines.

The CafeMom Admin Team

DELETING MY ACCOUNT ON THERE AS WE SPEAK. emoticon to the kicker! As my favorite actor says in Hot Fuzz, they can JOG ON!

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
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CATHYGETSFIT's Photo CATHYGETSFIT Posts: 6,921
10/14/13 2:08 A

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Sorry I'm late to the conversation. That woman was clearly out of line, uneducated and just plain dumb it sounds like. You had every right to react the way you did. There are too many stupid people in this world that you just can't get through to them how insensitive and dumb they are for saying such things. We're glad you are here and glad you have a place that you can feel free to vent. Sorry you had to deal with this woman. emoticon

Cathy (Central Time Zone)
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SEASONS_CHANGE_'s Photo SEASONS_CHANGE_ SparkPoints: (77,897)
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10/12/13 9:53 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


Kelly


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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/12/13 9:41 A

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Thank you Kelly emoticon

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
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SEASONS_CHANGE_'s Photo SEASONS_CHANGE_ SparkPoints: (77,897)
Fitness Minutes: (24,535)
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10/12/13 8:56 A

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I love having you here and I'm glad that you're happy with this team and thank you for feeling comfortable enough to post how you're feeling. We're all in this together is how I look at it.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


Kelly


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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/12/13 8:11 A

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Yeah.. update so the post has NOT been removed and I will be deleting my account on there. There are plenty of other online forums that I can join that don't allow such stupidity. She stated how her uncle died of complications from AIDS, well then she should be more compassionate towards people who have this disease, yet she's a bitter, angry twat! I didn't bother responding because If I did, I would end up saying some really not nice things to this person. Just because you know someone who has died of a disease, doesn't mean that all people with this disease should be lumped into one group and treated as criminals. GRRRRRRRR.... my blood boils((deep breaths)).... I am done with that site! emoticon

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
232
208.75
185.5
162.25
139
WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/11/13 8:14 P

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Thanks guys, and Kelly it happened on another site not here. I just love the support I get from here so much that I needed to vent to people that could relate to my frustration with dealing with ignorant people. KNTRYMAMA08 knows what I'm talking about, it's the site we met on and I'm glad I met you too girl emoticon I've always been an emotional person and I remember going to high school and meeting this couple that had a child together that was HIV+ and just thinking how sad it made me even back then how people were treated because of a disease. I honestly only use sparkpeople anymore because you have this group on here Kelly and track my calories burned, I don't bother going on other groups and message boards, I've encountered some not so nice people on here too. This group has been my saving grace though, it's really been helping me to be able to talk with others who understand what my husbands going through and relationship questions,etc.

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
232
208.75
185.5
162.25
139
SEASONS_CHANGE_'s Photo SEASONS_CHANGE_ SparkPoints: (77,897)
Fitness Minutes: (24,535)
Posts: 4,355
10/11/13 7:14 P

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I'm absolutely stunned. Seriously. How insensitive can one be? No, you are certainly NOT overreacting. You're dealing with an uneducated individual who needs to keep her mouth shut about things she knows absolutely about.

By the way, we need people like you on Spark. If the post doesn't get deleted, don't leave. That would let her win. Spark the website is very different from the members. I had a run in with Spark some time ago about a compassionate gay picture that I was told it was too provocative. Eventually, I gave in as I was threatened to be deleted from Spark. Spark can have their rules, it doesn't mean that we have to let others stand in our way of our journey for ourselves.

Edited by: SEASONS_CHANGE_ at: 10/11/2013 (19:19)
"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


Kelly


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10/11/13 6:28 P

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We know that website can be brutal, unfortunately I've had to learn to just take a deep breath and laugh at their ignorance and complete lack of brain cells. I was so glad when I found you on there, it helped finding someone else who gets this. Vent away, sometimes that's what it takes to deal. I just went on my "let me educate you" spew yesterday in my anatomy and physiology class because my professor was wayyyy off base with what she was "teaching" and I couldn't keep my mouth shut about how wrong she was about some things. Drove me insane. She asked me for facts to back up what I was saying, told her she might regret that because I have an abundance of info from reputable sources I would be happy to provide her that would allow her to properly educate herself. Lol

WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/11/13 12:20 P

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emoticon another poster on there even mentioned that too. A lot of people were ripping her to shreds for her thread and I wasn't the only one that brought up how she sounded a lot like a nazi with that tattoo comment. I love tattoos but not when their forced on someone and not to demean or degrade someone.

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
232
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185.5
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TWEETYKC00's Photo TWEETYKC00 Posts: 77,777
10/11/13 11:22 A

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I think she needs an 'I Am Stoopid' tattoo on her forehead!

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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/11/13 8:50 A

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Just letting me vent on here has been so helpful. I went out this morning walked my son to school and came home and worked my butt off on my elliptical. I just have to remind myself that are always going to be some hateful people in this world sadly but that's life and the only thing I can do is be one of the accepting individuals and continue to teach my sons to be accepting and show compassion towards others.

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
232
208.75
185.5
162.25
139
BIGPAWSUP's Photo BIGPAWSUP SparkPoints: (116,839)
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10/11/13 8:04 A

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Wish there was more I could do for you.

Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
Central Time USA

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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/11/13 7:29 A

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Thank you, a lot of people tried explaining to this person the logic behind why her idea was flawed on so many levels. Yes, people should disclose their status with their sexual partners but a permanent tattoo is ridiculous! I just get really emotional when it comes to this topic, even if my husband wasn't HIV+ because all people deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and this person clearly doesn't understand that. I can't wrap my head around how some people are so damn hateful towards others. It makes me so sad how there is still a stigma associated with HIV/AIDS. I would never treat anyone differently because of a disease they have or didn't have, that is just petty to me. I reported the thread on the other site and I'll be watching to see if it gets deleted, if it doesn't I am going to delete my account on there. I just can't respect a website that allows such hate on their site and to me she was spreading pure hate towards a specific group of people out of sheer ignorance/hatred/ and stupidity. Thank you for letting me come here and vent.

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
232
208.75
185.5
162.25
139
PHEBESS's Photo PHEBESS Posts: 31,952
10/11/13 7:01 A

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Yes, this person was WAY out of line! And it is attitudes such as hers that only adds to the stigma of HIV-AIDS, and makes people want to hide their status so they don't have to deal with idiots like that.

(deep breaths)

Keep in mind, there are people who want to blame trees for global warming. (I think that's what Bush Sr said.) There are morons all over the world. You just met one of them on that forum.

Obviously, she needs some education. She can change. Problem is, she thinks she's right. We know she isn't.

(hugs to you)

What do you do when you meet someone like that? Well, depending on how the rest of my day has been, I sometimes react the way you did, and get very emotional and upset. Sometimes, I take the time to explain logically why they are so so so very wrong. Sometimes, I just can't deal with that kind of idiocy and I just quietly slip away.

I don't think you over-reacted. I do think, given a different day, you might react differently. And, in the world we live in, you'll encounter similar stupidity over and over again. So, you can choose how you plan to react next time. If you choose to explain and educate, you can practice. Up to you how you want to respond.

We saw an online clip of that young girl who was shot by the Taliban for speaking out about education for girls in Afghanistan (Malala is her first name) - she said she thought about what to do if she is attacked, and first she thought about attacking back, but then realized that would make her like the attacker; so she decided she would calmly and quietly explain to her attacker why education is so important, especially for girls, and she would try to educate the attacker and change his mind.

Her response is definitely affecting my response to you today!



"Dance as if no one is watching."


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10/11/13 6:55 A

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Ignorant nasty b*tch! Now I do believe that people should be honest about their status but wearing a "scarlet letter" is a bit much. I doubt you over reacted.

Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
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WHOVIAN85's Photo WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/11/13 6:27 A

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ugh, where do I begin? I am upset beyond words will allow me to say on sparkpeople because some nobody got the best of me posting their hate filled spew on another forum and it just made me so angry! She(I know its a female, because its a mom's only site) said this below:

''I think people who have been diagnosed with HIV or AIDS should be required to get a Medical Bio hazard symbol tattooed in a location that is normally covered by panties or undershorts/skivvies, whatever you choose to call them. Makes those one-night stands safer!!!''

Please tell me I was not wrong for overreacting and wanting to reach through the computer and strangle this person. I called her a nazi and she had the nerve to be offended at me! Idk, I just needed a safe place to talk about this with people who would understand my frustration and anger.

"The good things donít always soften the bad things ó but vice versa ó the bad things donít necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."
Doctor Who Series 5: Vincent and the Doctor
SW: 232
CW: 203.2
LGW: 150


 current weight: 211.0 
 
232
208.75
185.5
162.25
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