Welcome to the group, and to SP. Congratulations on being at the eighteen month mark!
And, something I wanted to tell you: for me, the learning how to be a survivor has not been easy either. While going through the diagnosis process (misdiagnosed for three months and told I was over-reacting to a lump) and then the treatments themselves, I knew what to do. I focused on learning, I focused on healing.
Afterwards, I've been coming to grips with being *different* myself. It's a positive difference, don't get me wrong. I feel far stronger for having had cancer. But learning who I am now is a work in progress. I'm not the same person I used to be. And I lost people too: my uncle to colon cancer a few years after surviving, and one of the people I sat next to during chemo for so many weeks did not make it. Another has had recurrence to her bones. Part of my reaction was to be very careful of my health for awhile; then to ignore it completely because I could not bear to think about it (hence weight gain) for awhile. Now I am more balanced.
One book that helped me begin to understand that survivorship is an active phase is Lance Armstrong's second one. You might take a look.
I believe I was saved for a purpose, and that purpose includes living life fully, experiencing joy, and doing the best I can. It also includes using my professional skills for only the most positive of goals. It does *not* emphatically *not* mean I must be perfect, or learn how to be a survivor all at once.
The awareness of potential for death and loss can truly sharpen your awareness of the potential you have to *live* - I wish you all the best as your journey progresses.
Edited by: SHADOWPUP at: 4/9/2007 (11:48)
1/07 Decided ENOUGH is ENOUGH (SW 180)
2/07 Found SP
8/31/07 Maintain 129-132
4/01/08 Maintain 126-129
Height: 5'7", Female, 47. Size 2.
A healthy lifestyle gives strength and time to spend on those we love, and to do things that matter. - myself
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness - Frankel