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TOPIC:   dealing with the "multiples paparazzi" 


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MOM2QUADS
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6/26/12 9:40 P

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I agree! This is a BIG pet peeve of mine as well. I have GBGB quads that are now 4. We received lots of attention when they were younger. It was to the point that I took to staying in the house and the kids never went out. If it was rude questions, it was stupid questions, or staring. I also noticed that when we took the two double strollers people tended to notice less. Now that they are older we get, "Two sets of twins?" I feel like a freak show sometimes.



DETROITKELLY
DETROITKELLY's Photo Posts: 2,848
6/12/12 2:40 P

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"No, I just used my husband!" LOVE IT! emoticon I'm totally going to steal that!

We use a double and single stroller too. Most the time when we take the 3 out at once, my husband is with me anyway so its not an inconvenience. It's funny when we walk by people and it takes them a little longer to figure it out and we're already past them and you hear them say "did you see those twins? - wait, I think that's another one." or something to that effect.


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GEOGIRL
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6/12/12 2:04 P

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Ah the multiples paparazzi, it drives me nuts!!!! I think dealing with all of the attention has been the hardest part of being a triplet mom, I tend to be quiet and keep to myself and that isn't an option (apparently) when you are out with triplets.

As a previous poster has said I also use a double and a single stroller as much as I can, its a little less attention but that won't even stop most people. It has shocked me how many strangers feel comfortable asking about fertility treatments, I'd never dream of asking anyone about that! My main answer these days is "No, I just used my husband" and that tends to shock them enough to end the conversation :)

My boys are identical with a fraternal sister and I find it hilarious when I have all three in the stroller and people point and say "look at the twins!" I usually laugh and say "she is part of the package too!" Then people ask if they are identical and I tell them that two are....and they want to know which two...um one is a girl!!!

We've had some really nice people and I try to be nice back but it is tiresome when it happens every time you go out. The rudest I experience was a few weeks ago when I went shopping with all three and a sales lady followed us around a store and called all of her co-workers over to look at them and one stuck her finger in my one son's face and said "whats wrong with him?" (He is still on home oxygen because his lungs are not yet strong enough on their own) I could have punched her. Then her friend asked if I used fertility treatments, and then asked if I had a c-section....I haven't figured out a polite way to say non of your freaking business!!!!

One final rant was a mom in the NICU always asked me how my litter was doing...maybe she thought she was being funny but I found it rude.

We still get a ton of attention but I do hope that when we get out of the stroller phase it will be a little less so, I actually look forward to when the kids can do the talking back for me :)

Smiling just makes everyones day better :)



THEBRIGETTE
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6/6/12 2:29 P

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I can only vouch for my own experience and say that it has gotten easier since they are bigger. Most commonly now people ask how close in age they are (fraternal and look nothing alike) and are surprised when I answer "One whole minute", they assume they are maybe a year apart.

My biggest issue in rude comments and staring has been over one of my sons and the hemangioma (vascular overgrowth) on his cheek. It's unbelievable the horribly unfiltered things that come out of an adults mouth just because it's a baby/child they are talking about and right in front of too. So, in that aspect of rude, staring and comments, yes... i understand all too well.


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DETROITKELLY
DETROITKELLY's Photo Posts: 2,848
6/5/12 12:52 P

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yeah, mine are much too young to care but I do wonder what that will be like for them as they get older. Since mine are fraternal, I think it might be less of an issue. But the biggest pro is at least they have each other.


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JLMALLETTE
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6/5/12 12:14 P

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I remember this well when my girls were little - Most of time we enjoyed the comments as we too were amazed at these little ones. Often though people would say "I am so glad it is you and not me" - We would agree and say we are glad it is not you either. Once someone said "If that happened to me, I would just have to shot myself" - I will not share what my now Ex said to them - He was not happy.
At 16 they still get stopped and people ask them questions - Being indentical seems to confuse people when it is triplets. They are used to it now and are polite to those who ask questions, although I am sure they would rather not be asked.

Jodi
If you do not want to keep starting over - Stop giving up!
(Central Time)


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DETROITKELLY
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6/4/12 2:57 P

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Wow, that's so rude. I'm sorry that happened to you. You are so right though - I always make a point to equally acknowledge other children too. Other people's kids are as unique and special to them as mine are to me.


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MOMMY2GWJ
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6/4/12 1:58 P

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Hey there,
I have this with my twin boys (who are fraternal), but it has gotten better as I've used the stroller less. Plus, I never dress them alike, except by accident.

My friend, who has young triplets, has actually taken to using two strollers (a double and a single) when she has some helping her because it results in less attention.

Your zoo story is terrible. I once had someone follow me from a baby check-up to berate me about my use of fertility treatments (his guess simply because I had twins), and what a drain on the medical system I was being. This, from a man who looked to have many more medical problems than me or my family! He was so threatening that I kept my sharp tongue to myself. But it has taught me that a kind word about anyone's baby (singleton or multiple) can help brighten a mom's day.

All the best,



Tracy


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DISNEYLAUREL
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5/24/12 6:23 A

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Yep, I've been there too, although as was said before, it's a little less extreme with twins and it does get better ith ith time! Just make eye contact with them, smile and nod; then go about your business. I always just imagine if the gawkers aren't polite enough to say something directly to you about your beautiful family, they're just jealous and marveling at "how you do it!"
;o)


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LISAW/3
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5/21/12 5:33 P

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Unfortunately for you, I think your triplets stand out more than my twins!
I got asked so many questions when they were babies, including personal information about their conception! As they have gotten older, I get fewer looks and questions. I have boy/girl twins and they are 3.5 years old. They are a little less noticeable as twins now, especially since we don't use the stroller anymore.
It is tough being "on show" for everyone, but unfortunately, I think all multiples families have to deal with it to some extent. Good luck and hopefully it will get easier as they get older!


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DETROITKELLY
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5/21/12 4:55 P

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I need to vent about something I'm going to call the multiples paparazzi. Everywhere my family and I go, people stop and stare at us and ask us a million questions about our triplets. I know you all must know the drill and the questions. I find it a little annoying, to be honest. For the most part, I think people are curious and good natured about it and sometimes even complimentary but it often rubs me the wrong way and I'm not used to and don't love being the center of attention. We went to the zoo last weekend and a woman shouted to her husband "HEY BRIAN, LOOK!" and pointed at us. Like we were the animals on exhibit! The worst part is, then she just went on walking through zoo. At least say hi or toss us a small compliment or a "happy mother's day" after you so rudely point and stare. I thought that was worse than the 20 questions exercise. Sheesh.
So does this happen to you too? How do you deal with it? Does it get better or worse as the babies get older? My boys are only 6 months old and fraternal. Thanks!


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