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WADLOSSWEIGHT's Photo WADLOSSWEIGHT Posts: 6,762
3/20/09 9:53 A

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Just checking on you my friend

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10285115CS Posts: 3,120
3/20/09 8:19 A

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Pam,

my aunt suffers with the same issues , only it happened with two of her three children.

surround your self with loving friends.

it's hard to understand how or why a child turns against a parent.

loosing a child is devastating. enjoy the rest of your life. you deserve happiness.

IN GOD WE TRUST


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BIRDYGAYL's Photo BIRDYGAYL Posts: 847
3/13/09 9:01 P

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Pam, I will hold you in my prayers tonight. I have decided that sometimes love cannot conquer all, and letting go is the only way through, as painful as that may be--a hard lesson to learn. I pray, as you do, that your granddaughter is in a loving and nurturing home, and that your daughter has conquered the emotional demons that plagued her when she was so hateful to you. Blessings on you.


If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
-Elbert Hubbard-
MISSYA72's Photo MISSYA72 Posts: 6,463
3/13/09 8:23 P

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Pam, my thoughts and prayers are with you. My husband's family has almost the same situation, except it was his mom that didn't want anything to do with him. She died a few days before my mom did, and none of the family even told us.

Peace be with you Pam you are a wonderful, caring person and we all love you!

Missy

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5/1/2014 - Be down 10 pounds

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What is life.......but to dream and do...


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BIAMEN's Photo BIAMEN Posts: 123
3/11/09 3:12 A

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when my husband died nine years ago, the people who helped me move on was a bereavement group, not family because they all had their own opinions of what I should do. IT helps to speak with strangers because they dont judge you on their opinion. I remarried three years ago, and some of my husband's family stopped talking to me. That is why this site is so good, you say what you really feel, without anyone pushing their way on you. It is good you verbalized your burden, it helps the healing. I agree with cherlyn, your daughter is mad at her life, herself and how she has messed up and rather than acknowledge her errors, she took it out on you. Misplaced blame. You did your best, that is all any of us can do. God looks at what we have done, not what other's think we have done. God Bless

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JUSTCHECKING1's Photo JUSTCHECKING1 SparkPoints: (21,272)
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3/10/09 11:52 P

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Pam I can't imagine what if feels like. I have a older son who moved away & will speak to us. That is probably about as close as I will come to knowing how you feel. My heart truly goes out to you. emoticon

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YOSOYLINDA's Photo YOSOYLINDA Posts: 5,948
3/10/09 4:09 P

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Wow, I have nothing insightful to say, but just "hang in there!" Linda C

Linda C
Oklahoma (CST)

"Food is essential to life; Therefore, make it good."
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Come on 5%!!!!!

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HEREWEGO!'s Photo HEREWEGO! SparkPoints: (16,133)
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3/10/09 3:50 P

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You are amazing! The strength you have is incredible, it took a lot to voice your hurts also. I thank you for that, and I am so grateful for my kids, and my family! Shame on any of us if we ever take good things for granted! Jill
emoticon

*Jill*
I really am a perfect size 10, I just keep it covered in FAT, so it won't get scratched!!!


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PAMELAB4's Photo PAMELAB4 Posts: 957
3/10/09 3:28 P

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I just got up (Wednesday Morning here) and there were a few tears when I read your messages. Thank you for your support, it does mean a lot to me.
Last night I was a bit upset with myself because I'd posted the message, because I don't normally allow anyone *in* and close to my feelings. I was embarrassed at my weakness. After all this time, yesterday's emotions took me by surprise, and I thank all of you for showing that my trust in you wasn't misplaced.

And somehow it helps to know that even the Queen of England wasn't exempt from "trouble with the kids".
She's had pain from all four of her children, in one way or another..... and all of it in public! At least my problems weren't plastered all over the newspapers!!!

Right now I'm waiting for a bit more daylight then I can get out for some exercise. Routine will set the world back on it's axis, and exercise is known to lift the spirits!

By the way, I did make some inquiries about my granddaughter, and found that she was with people who adored her. She had enough love and care, so I backed off, because I felt she needed to start again with her new family with no hangups from the past.

Thank you, my friends (and adopted daughters!).

Pam.

Pam in Qld Australia

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee

pam75.blogspot.com


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I*AM*BLESSED's Photo I*AM*BLESSED SparkPoints: (72,443)
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3/10/09 3:23 P

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Pam, thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for your pain. I don't understand why our children can be so hurtful. My husband has a 5 year old grandson that he has never known because of a stubborn daughter. I pray that your suffering will soon end.

•*´¨) †
¸.• ¸.•*´¨)¸.•*¨) †
(¸.• ♥ Cheri ♥

Quit smoking for life (literally) in January 2008


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ALMABUS's Photo ALMABUS SparkPoints: (7,796)
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3/10/09 2:49 P

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I would like to add my prayers to your long list of Spark friends who care about you. God knows your pain and will be with you through this. Treat yourself to something special. You are an inspiration--take care. emoticon

Lois


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BABBO62 Posts: 1,102
3/10/09 2:36 P

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Pam, I can't imagine the pain you're felling now but I have 2 grown daughter and they live very close to us. Both of my closest friends, one who died at age 57 and one with MS that doesn't know me when I go to visit, aren't any help when I need help with hard times like in the past. My girls are there for me and I almost lost one when a jerk asked her to marry him. I told her if she wanted to be my daughter don't marry him and she didn't. I really don't know what I would do with out them. Your daughter really needs help. My prayers and thoughts are with you and God is on your side.

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IMADAREDEVIL's Photo IMADAREDEVIL SparkPoints: (0)
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3/10/09 2:00 P

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I'm so sorry to hear about your troubled heart. I think it's very strong of you to tell your story and ask for help. We are all here for you, and want to send healing thoughts your way. It must be hard to deal with such heartache, so I send you hugs.
emoticon

Edited by: IMADAREDEVIL at: 3/10/2009 (14:01)
My name is Anna, and I deserve to be the best that I can be!

CHERYLN's Photo CHERYLN Posts: 6,972
3/10/09 1:02 P

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Pam, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. While I experienced a portion of that from my daughter, and that was so hard to bear, your daughter has some real issues to deal with and felt she needed to hurt the only one she knew she could...you. My prayers go to you for peace and to her in that she comes to realize the hatred in her is so harmful to her and everybody she is in contact with. As hard as it is to imagine, thank goodness she adopted her daughter out, hopefully she had a much happier life this way.

As you can see by all the kind words from so many people, you are greatly cared for and appreciated here, so know that you can come here always and share. You're a special lady. Find a way to treat yourself today...a candlelit bubble bath maybe! Hugs to you.

Cheryl from North Dakota
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MOMALDERMAN1's Photo MOMALDERMAN1 Posts: 2,594
3/10/09 12:32 P

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I believe God will restore the years the cancore worm ate up. He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. He is so much bigger than this difficulty. I am praying for restoration and that He will get a hold of your daughter and turn her toward Him and then toward you. Stay in His word and it will strengthen you. My prayers are with you but He is closer to you than your next breath. He is there for you and will get you through this day and the next and the next....

Live clean, eat clean.

Dream bigger than yourself.

I serve a BIG GOD Who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask or think.

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IDALUKE's Photo IDALUKE SparkPoints: (50,932)
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3/10/09 11:44 A

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Hi Pam glad you shard your feeling, my heart is with you. I will keep you in my prayers and on my prayer list. God bless you Ida

God bless, everyone can do it. Just stick with it


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DEBSZOO74's Photo DEBSZOO74 Posts: 8,732
3/10/09 11:32 A

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Pam, my heart goes out to you! I'm sorry that you're hurting so much! I'm glad you decided to come here and share your feelings and let us share some of the pain with you. I've seen some great ideas here - releasing balloons, writing a note with your feelings and sealing it up. Wish I had more to offer you!

emoticon emoticon

Debbie from CA
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SACTOKAREN's Photo SACTOKAREN Posts: 27,304
3/10/09 11:23 A

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We've got your back. I'm sure that at age 50, your daughter has had time to rethink her life's decisions. I'm sorry for the pain she's caused you, but she's caused herself just as much, if not more pain. She lost her father, but chose to give up her mother and daughter. I hope that you are able to someday reconnect with your granddaughter and even your daughter if she has overcome her issues.

Love and prayers to you.

50 is the new 30.


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SKINNYRHEA's Photo SKINNYRHEA SparkPoints: (40,876)
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3/10/09 11:17 A

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No one knows what you are going thru except the Father in Heaven. He says put me in rememberance of my Word.
Ps. 107:20 amp.
He sends forth His Word to Pam, and her daughter,
and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction.
Prov. 3:5-6 amp.
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know, recognize and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
Children can cause us the most hurt and not even know it. At times like these I just tie a knot in the end of my rope and say here God this is your problem, you will have to take care of it and leave it at the alter and go on. Or even write it down and put it in an envelope and date it and do not look at it for a long time and watch and see what God can and will do. There is nothing to hard for God. But with man it is impossible.
Know that we are all thinking of you and be blessed even at this time.



emoticon Rhea
remember it came to pass it did not come to stay.

The Healing Power of Jesus, is manifested in me today.


Trust in the Lord.





By His stripes I am healed.

Remember don't faint and where do you faint, in your mind. The battleground is in the mind. If we win that battle we will win the weight loss and the war and everything else that is the desire of my heart. Rheaco-leaderofHealthyLifeAfterStroke RheaCo-LeaderofHeathyLifeAfterStroke&supportGroup

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EUNICEMONTEIRO's Photo EUNICEMONTEIRO Posts: 8,060
3/10/09 10:59 A

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My heart aches for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I do not pretend to know how you feel but I can imagine how hard it is for you, stay positive she will return to you one day!!!
Happy Birthday to your daughter!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: EUNICEMONTEIRO at: 3/10/2009 (11:18)
"Optimism is the foundation of courage."
- Nicholas Murray Butler

"A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step."

-Butler Janet Oberholtzer

Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God. :)

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!
Amen!!


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LESLIECOY's Photo LESLIECOY SparkPoints: (26,398)
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3/10/09 10:26 A

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For Today - and Tomorrow - and anytime you need, extending my heart to send love, my shoulder to lean on, and always my friendship and support and a willingness to understand.
emoticon


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Nothing is Always!

Fix the Bad Things,
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SQUIRRELLYMOM's Photo SQUIRRELLYMOM SparkPoints: (85,415)
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3/10/09 10:19 A

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emoticon My heart goes out to you. I prayed for you.

Linda A
Central Mississippi, The Magnolia State, USA

"Successful weight loss is discipline, not deprivation."

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JUST_TERE's Photo JUST_TERE Posts: 1,916
3/10/09 9:50 A

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Pam, my heart is with you. Those children who do these things -- who really have NO idea what was going on -- they are the ones who can break our hearts the most.

I've lost three children this way. My fourth is giving me grief. I can't take this anymore. I know exactly how you feel. My son was 22 the other day -- he was my special boy and he has beliefs that are just flat WRONG. I cannot tell him this.

So, I understand exactly how you feel. My oldest, who spread these lies, is 34. As she gets older, my feelings for her are changing. I, too, had to move and not tell her where.

Ah shucks. As someone just said to me, if I had to do it over again, I'd just have dogs.

Tere

~~ Thanks for noticing me ~~ Eeyore

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MISTYBLUE4's Photo MISTYBLUE4 SparkPoints: (3,982)
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3/10/09 9:46 A

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Celebrate her day, or the rest of the evening (time zone I realized) I know it sounds weird, but I guess its just my culture; get some balloons, send them off with a note...I love you both....Its not yours to carry, (& I know easier said than done)...as the others have said, you've always been one to make everyone smile! emoticon

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HEALTHY__ME's Photo HEALTHY__ME Posts: 1,820
3/10/09 8:54 A

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I have you in my prayers Pam. I also pray that your daughter and granddaughter are well.

ILOVEROSES's Photo ILOVEROSES SparkPoints: (189,886)
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3/10/09 8:54 A

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I know you are very sad today and in a lot of pain.
I am so glad that you shared your feelings with us. You do know how much we all care for you so don't hesitate to come here for support.
emoticon Ania

Ania from Australia


"I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday, and because of that I choose to be something different tomorrow".
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LILYGAL's Photo LILYGAL SparkPoints: (189,255)
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3/10/09 8:37 A

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Pam, my heart aches for you. I can't imagine the pain you've been through. I am praying for you, your daughter and granddaughter. Just know that I'm thinking of you. emoticon

Pat ~ Indiana

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No regrets for what you can't change.



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WADLOSSWEIGHT's Photo WADLOSSWEIGHT Posts: 6,762
3/10/09 7:52 A

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Pam, you are a good women and just know we are here for you. Thoughts and prayers strongly heading your way

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MONGO2TEN's Photo MONGO2TEN Posts: 10,877
3/10/09 7:51 A

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I can just imagine how sad you must feel. You still love your daughter, and this is a huge milestone.

Praying for peace and that maybe someday you can both reconcile!

~Nancy



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NEWMENOW5's Photo NEWMENOW5 SparkPoints: (22,474)
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3/10/09 7:37 A

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I am praying for you as you go through this grief. I can only imagine the pain you have endured all these years, and my heart goes out to you! I pray that your granddaughter is healthy and happy and has probably had a better life than her bitter mother could have given her!
You are the best, but you ARE human, don't hesitate to express your feelings to us. We care about you!
Cindy emoticon

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BABAJANE's Photo BABAJANE SparkPoints: (39,794)
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3/10/09 7:27 A

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Hugs to you Pam. The pain is there, and you have to deal with it. Know so many people are thinking of you and sending you good thoughts. My heart aches for you.


I can do this!!


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FRANNIEDID's Photo FRANNIEDID SparkPoints: (102,892)
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3/10/09 7:00 A

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Pam, you are always the one to come in with stuff to cheer us all up. You get to be down too and you have reason. I can't possibly know how deep a pain that must be but I have 2 daughters and I know how much that would hurt me. Sometimes we have to keep toxic people away from us but it doesn't stop us from loving them. I will be keeping you in my thoughts today, we all care about you!

Frannie

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
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Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.”
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PAMELAB4's Photo PAMELAB4 Posts: 957
3/10/09 1:56 A

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This is not my style, but today I'm feeling a bit raw. I find it difficult to ask for help, so I hope you'll bear with me just this once, and send a prayer.

Today is March 10th, my daughter's 50th birthday, where ever she is.

When my husband died, I was living in Tasmania, while my daughter was in Sydney. She was married with a 6 year old daughter and couldn't travel InterState for the funeral. But for 6 months after, she was sending me up to 3 letters a week, telling me what a bad mother I was, what an evil person I was, and so on. It wore me down, but what really shattered me was that Julie continuously told me that it should have been me who died, and not her father.
It took me years to come to terms with that one, and only by deciding that as an adult, Julie was allowed to keep her opinion, allow her to have it, and that's ALL it was. An opinion, and I didn't have to accept it.
About a year after my husband died, her husband died also. The next I heard was when Julie rang me to tell me she'd had Kelly, my granddaughter (age 7) adopted, that things were finalized and Kelly was gone. A final act of spite and hatred.

That was when I made the most difficult decision of my life. If I didn't move out of reach of my daughter, I would go crazy, because those letters were still coming, every few days and I had no way to stop them. So I moved to a different part of Tasmania but didn't tell her where I was. Since then I moved to Queensland.

It's so long ago, and normally it's just an occasional ache. I haven't had contact with Julie for nearly 20 years, but she was my firstborn, and maybe her reaching the 50 mark today has touched a nerve. It's special. My granddaughter will be 28 now, and I only hope she's happy, where ever she is.

Sorry to be a gripe and a miseryguts today. Guess I just wanted to get it out in the open. By tomorrow the wound will have closed again and I'll be back on top.

Pam.



Pam in Qld Australia

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee

pam75.blogspot.com


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