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MOMMA_BEAR_69's Photo MOMMA_BEAR_69 Posts: 38,469
8/20/09 10:32 P

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Thinking of you and Lucky and praying for you both and also for you parents as this has to be hard on everyone. I am so happy that the talk with you parents went so well. Keeping you in prayer also that you can find a vet that accepts the program for you.
But remember that God is good and He definitely answers prayers. Give Lucky extra hugs for all of us.
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

Helen/Southwestern PA Joined SP 9/23/2007
Co-leader of The Rainbow Bridge--Grieving the Loss of a Pet Spark Team

"Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible."
~Mary McLeod Bethune

"If you planted hope in a heart today in any hopeless heart, If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part, If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away, If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray, Then your day was well spent.


 
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MSILVER27's Photo MSILVER27 SparkPoints: (7,209)
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8/17/09 10:16 P

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I am very happy you spoke with your mom and at least are getting the chance to get lucky checked out and get some answers and help. I am hoping that things go well and praying you come away with a little more peace of mind. Also I am glad you are getting a chance to do something for lucky because you are being given the ability to express your love for lucky and that will be important to you. Believe me taking care of Belle and knowing we did our best does give me peace in my heart because I know we loved her the best we could under the circumstances. I am wishing you well and you are a very loving person to take this on. Please let us know how things turn out and know we are here to support you. Take care.

MSILVER27


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POOH_BEAR_69's Photo POOH_BEAR_69 Posts: 9,159
8/17/09 9:15 P

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That is GREAT news... We'll definitely continue to think about you and Lucky... I love the furbabies with hearts of lions!!!

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THEWAYSHEFEELS's Photo THEWAYSHEFEELS Posts: 36
8/17/09 12:17 P

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thank you all so much for your thoughts, kind words and prayers. i spoke to my mom this weekend about my husband and i helping with whatever care he may need. i got my mom to agree to use my 'care credit' credit card... a card i had gotten a few years ago to help them pay for my little sisters braces. they have just recently made their last payment on the card and have enough available to take him to a vet - now we have to find a vet that will accept the program.

Thank you. I'll keep you updated on what the vet says and when he goes. Keep him in your prayers until then - if his body is even half as strong as his heart then he should have a long time to go.



-Me. emoticon

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POOH_BEAR_69's Photo POOH_BEAR_69 Posts: 9,159
8/13/09 10:18 P

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Lucky is truly lucky to have people around him who care so much. You are in a tough situation. You don't want to overstep the boundaries of parent/child, but you want to offer to help with the financial burden of an elderly/ailing pet. Honestly, I think it's your decision to make. I can understand if you don't want to offend them, and I can understand if you take the risk to try to see if Lucky can be helped. If it were me, I probably would try to plead my case.

The lumps could be MANY things in an elderly dog. I know Tyler had started getting "lumps" around year 8. I thought they were tumors or some awful medical issue (and he already had so many). It turned out that they were simply fatty tissue deposits. I guess dogs that are slightly overweight are more prone to these as they age. I have a friend who raises white germans and when she gets a "lump" on the back or leg, it's usually cancer.

No matter what happens, know that the group is here to listen as you deal with the struggle. You, your parents and family, and especially Lucky will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are able to find peace as you deal with this.

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MSILVER27's Photo MSILVER27 SparkPoints: (7,209)
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8/13/09 3:08 P

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I will keep Lucky and you in my thoughts too. I lost a yellow lab Belle the day after XMAS this year, she was 14.5 and we had her since she was 8 weeks. She died in my lap at 11pm on the way to the vets. It hurts to lose someone in your life that becomes family and has unlimited compassion.
Keep trying to offer your parents help and to really sit with them and explain to them how much it means to you to be able to help Lucky who you feel is also your dog and therefore it is in someway your choice whether or not to help out if you can afford it even if just to get a diagnosis or idea from the vet. Let your parents know how many feelings you have about this and let them know that you want to be part of the decision because Lucky was a direct part of your life and your teen years too. Tell them your feelings and especially let them know how if they won't let you help out even the littlest by taking Lucky once to see the vet or for Med's or something that in the long run they may be denying you a feeling of peace that you yourself tried what you thought was possible. If you are at peace with trying than things hurt less. At least that is my feeling.
We can't change the fact that their lives end sooner than ours and the pain we go through but to be able to believe in our heart that we did all we could or we did the best we could possibly do in our current circumstances than there is some peace. I felt that way about Belle. The cancer was going to kill her and broke her leg in half. We would have had to put her down right there but the pain nerve was damaged so she didn't feel pain. Although she was 60 lbs and couldn't walk we took care of her and she lived out the vets expectations past Thanksgiving and even had one last good XMAS. The next day her cancer having spread to her lungs and stomach caused her to have trouble breathing and she passed away. Looking back though we tried to do what we thought was best and we are at peace with that.
Explain that to your parents. Lucky was part your dog and part of a very special time period in your life too -adolescence - and therefore you should be afforded the right to try if you can financially afford it and give things a shot. You may not be able to save Lucky in the end like we couldn't save Belle but you will have a feeling that you can take with you of peace knowing you got to try. Your parents sound like they will listen. Tell them your strong feelings. Tell them what others have said and how they felt. I'm guessing you are around 21-22 years old. I am 28 and got my dog when I was 13. So I can relate . Share with them how it helps Lucky but also you, their daughter. How it helps your feelings. Hopefully they will listen. It doesn't have to be confrontational in fact it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be an argument. It should be an emotionally persuasive letting out your feelings and the consequences of how not letting you try anything may affect you in the future. How they can help you with some of the grief when it occurs if you are at least able to try now on your own or with help of friends. It is better to face them with understanding and compassion too than with confrontation and demanding. If you plead your case with both rational and emotional aspects together they are more likely to listen. I hope that helps. It may not feel like a possibility and perhaps for you it is not. It is just in your story I felt your parents were written about as if they were people that are at least willing to listen and are caring people. Help them understand you and help them understand how this will help you now and especially after Lucky is gone which hopefully wont be for a long time. I remember knowing as Belle got older and thinking of the pain of losing her and it's difficult. And that's why you need to do things while Lucky is still alive that will give you peace and not regrets and that will help ease some things as time goes on and when Lucky is gone. It will still hurt and grief hurts a lot. But some things make it easier especially I think if we were a part in helping out to make sure our family animal friends got care or help to the extent we could. You won't regret that. You may have to be prepared if your parents allow you to to hear something from the vet that isn't good news like I did with Belle. And it hurts but it makes you feel like you were a part of making the decisions, the right ones, that had to come following receiving such information. Your feelings should be looked at in two aspects - now and future. Try to think about that and if it applies to you which maybe it doesn't but if it does it may apply differently than it did to me or how I am explaining it. I'm just trying to say death is inevitable and grief is too but some things can be helpful to both of those including not having as many regrets and knowing we tried to the best of our ability and the best of our resources. Perhaps your parents still have not fully contemplated that you are an adult and yet Lucky was a huge part of your childhood and teens. Both of these are important. As an adult they should allow you to be a part of family decisions that have to do with something that had and is still having such an impact on your well-being and feelings.
Which is also why we are here to help support you. I don't know if that helped and it may not seem the same situation to you or you may not have the same feelings toward such an experience because every single one of us is different and so it is just a suggestion. Either way I will be thinking of you and Lucky. I care and I feel the pain even if I do not know the uniqueness Lucky brings to your life I do know the uniqueness is what brings our family animals into our hearts and that is something only we can understand ourselves. Take care. And please post your feelings and ask for support. We are all hear to listen. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

MSILVER27


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DRADISCH's Photo DRADISCH Posts: 3,251
8/13/09 1:52 P

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Lucky, Your Parents and You are in my prayers. I understand all you feel.
We are all here for you.
Hugs
Donna

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller

The best
thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln


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THEWAYSHEFEELS's Photo THEWAYSHEFEELS Posts: 36
8/13/09 12:29 P

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lucky is an 8 year old lab mix. my parents adopted him from a shelter when i was 14. i remember walking out to my parents car one day after school - and seeing my sister, my mom and my dad smiling, ear to ear, in the window. i didn't know why they were smiling - but as i got closer, there he was.

lucky is white, has big floppy ears and a wiry coat. the pound thought maybe he was a german sheperd mix, but we didn't really care what he was - - he was ours. =] at first, he was the greatest dog you could even imagine. he listened, he played, he went potty outside. then one day he started to rebel. he chewed a hole in the couch, the floor, even the wall. my parents sat my sister and i down and explained that we ALL needed to work with him on his behavior - and that although they would like to get rid of him, they decided that just like a child, you can't get rid of him because he is being naughty, you just have to work through the naughtiness.

we worked through it alright. after overcoming that small challenge he was back to the old lucky we knew and loved. he tested us, and we passed, we earned years of loyalty, friendship, and love. he is the smartest dog - learning things without really having to be taught. when my father was injured in a car accident lucky would bring him things. with a rod in his back my dad couldn't bend over - it was like lucky knew this, and would pick up his shoes, the remote, papers, anything my dad needed - just because he loved him. at night, he would sit in my bedroom with my sister and i until we fell asleep. we never heard him leave, but my mom said it was usually about an hour after we went to bed - - he would wait, patiently while we fell asleep, he would tuck us in, and then be on his way to look after the rest of the family.

although i dont live at home anymore, i still love lucky. and although i now have a dog of my own, lucky will always be my first dog. i can see lucky getting older. i see it getting harder for him to do the things he wants so desperately to do. a happy, shining dog who used to greet my family at the door, now struggles to get up and eat his own food. a dog who used to chase us around the couch until we ALL fell on the floor from exhaustion can hardly play fetch, though we can tell he wants to.

i can't imagine losing him. he has had a great life, but i dont want to see his life come to an end any time soon. at the same time i dont want to see him in pain as he gets older. my parents can't afford a lot right now. my dad is disabled and my mom has to stay home with him. i feel for lucky, because he has been the one bearing the weight of their financial hardships. they take him to the vet for shots and such when they have the extra money, but lately some of his ailments have been concerning me. he has these lumps, or masses, on his sides. they are in random places. he doesn't seem to mind if you touch them, and i'm not sure if he is even aware that they are there, but i've noticed them developing more, and growing with time. my parents often worry, but there isn't much they can do.

can you add my parents, and lucky, to your prayers - so that they can find the money, and he the strength, to keep going until he can get to the vet. i would love to help my parents get treatment for him, but they will not accept it, and i cannot go behind their back and take him to a vet. please, if you know of anything i can do i would appreciate it. lucky deserves to have many more years of happiness and health.

much love.

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