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SHARONG51's Photo SHARONG51 Posts: 25
5/25/09 7:28 P

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I would never forget my husband, He is the love of my life. We are stuck together know matter what.

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YICHE12's Photo YICHE12 SparkPoints: (165,936)
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5/25/09 4:11 P

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Hi Sharon. I enjoyed your response. Keep up the good work on yourself but don't forget about your husband. emoticon

Lise - GMT (+4 hours Eastern Time )
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DDHEART's Photo DDHEART SparkPoints: (211,334)
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5/24/09 10:09 A

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I so enjoyed reading all of these replies...so much advise and encouragement for you. It appears as though your long loving relationship will work this out as you do communicate. Change is hard...there is a whole body of knowledge for families of people who are recovering from addiction...often the family member has a very hard time adjusting to the recovering party....of course this is different..but the psychology of dealing with change and the threat of change is very basic. I applaud both of you for accomplishing what you have and for having a strong and loving relationship. I have confidence that you will both continue to thrive and with time will be able to enjoy all the benefits of your hard work.

Every day there is a life fight, and every day we respond to that fight. We may not win each battle, but we will win, with great effort, enriched character and gained wisdom, the great battle that constantly challenges us in our daily lives. - Unknown www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9aJtO0VCqw


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SHARONG51's Photo SHARONG51 Posts: 25
5/24/09 9:50 A

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Thank you all so very much for the support. My husband and I did talk. He told me I spend to much time, working out. I just laughed and told him, I love him and in the end he will love the new me.

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5/24/09 7:12 A

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I am telling you to keep on going with your weight loss because it is beneficial to you. Your hubby should be happy to have gained the 8 lbs that he put on. It must be difficult for him too being that he has throat cancer. I do wish him well but you cannot stop because he does not like when you lose weight. Do remember though that you have to keep 'some' weight on because at our age, it is healthier to keep some fat on our bodies because fat acts like a hormone once we reach menopause.

Lise - GMT (+4 hours Eastern Time )
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JANIEK13's Photo JANIEK13 SparkPoints: (11,158)
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5/23/09 5:24 P

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That could be part of it.



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5/23/09 5:21 P

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If they have been your eating buddy for a while
the fact that you have changed makes them aware of bad habits they may have been holding onto.
They may not be ready for the change and it comes as an unwelcome shock
their answer may be sabotage



BLKBEAUTY34's Photo BLKBEAUTY34 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/23/09 4:01 P

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you sure we dont have the same friends? LOL ! when we bowl they buy pizza on purpose! now i just look at them and laugh, cause as hard as it is for me to turn it down! "I DO " ! i'm going to lose this weight. while they stick to there motto"If They Sale It In My Size , I'm Wearing It" ! goodluck with that motto !





"Diva-licious"


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JANIEK13's Photo JANIEK13 SparkPoints: (11,158)
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5/23/09 2:48 P

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My gf is angry with me. Always trying to get me to eat sweets or chips, knowing I have a hard time with it. On the lighter side, there is a picture of me in my bathing suit on my spark page. emoticon



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AMGRANAT's Photo AMGRANAT Posts: 490
5/23/09 2:17 P

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You are in my thoughts today! Stay strong together, and turn to us when you need an ear!

"Will you love the 'you' you hide if I but call your name? Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same? Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around, through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?"

Goal: 165 by Feb 14, 2014


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5/18/09 11:02 P

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welcome! just remember that his stuff is his baggage not yours!

SHARONG51's Photo SHARONG51 Posts: 25
5/18/09 7:54 A

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Thank you all for your kind replys. emoticon

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CMFARRA's Photo CMFARRA Posts: 602
5/18/09 1:00 A

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Remind your husband that HE'S the one you has you and his friends only get to LOOK! They're the ones who should be jealous! Keep up the healthy lifestyle!

www.amway.com/mcfarra


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REDNECKFEMINIST's Photo REDNECKFEMINIST Posts: 19,281
5/17/09 10:29 P

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emoticon

Trishwitch

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.
Barbara De Angelis

co-leader of:
SparkPeople's Official Fitness Starter Kit Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26873


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LINDA25427's Photo LINDA25427 Posts: 2,663
5/17/09 10:09 P

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My prayers are with you and your husband God Bless

“Know your limits…but never stop trying to exceed them.” "Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."
"Lord Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive my sins and give me the gift of eternal life. I ask you in to my life and heart to be my Lord and Savior. I want to serve you always."
"From a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame."
"Remember to live."
"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."


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5/17/09 9:43 P

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when someone is angry or jealous, it is about them--their baggage, their stuff.
You don't need to change the good habits that you are starting to please anyone.
just be patient and we will pray for you that he comes around soon

MARTY19's Photo MARTY19 Posts: 53,177
5/17/09 6:08 P

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He might be afraid of the changes that could happen with you losing weight. Be patient. He will probably come around.

Marty
Eastern Standard time
Massachusetts

Spark People Motivator

There are two options regarding committment - your either IN or your OUT. There is no such thing as life in-between.

A person who wants something will find a way..
A person who doesn't will find an excuse...



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5/17/09 6:00 P

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the replies are right on target. he is scared that he is sick and that you are just looking better and better. men have such fragile egos and need stroking a lot. keep reassuring him and you all will get thro this. my prayers are with you and with him also

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NOCALORIES's Photo NOCALORIES Posts: 6,589
5/17/09 5:49 P

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This is a challenge. Stand tall be loving. Show your unselfish nature of you are thinking of him and he has nothing to be jealous of. You are not thinking only of being healthy and live You are thinking of him and wanting him to have a healthy wife who feels good so she can take better care of him. Stay on track and the trip can be beneficial to you both.

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DEE831's Photo DEE831 Posts: 2,607
5/17/09 4:33 P

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Sharon, you need to give your husband some conferce that u are not going to leave him.

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AKASUPERMOM's Photo AKASUPERMOM Posts: 343
5/17/09 4:14 P

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Sorry you have to go through all this. I do have a question. Do you need any more high calorie ideas for him? My 17 year old finished 6 months of chemo in Dec for a tumor in his brain that caused him to have swallowing issues and he lost down to 80ish lbs. He's now a "beefy" 102. :) He did quite a few 2000 calorie shakes. He's now able to eat easier, so he doesn't do as many shakes (that and I killed my blender).

If so, just send me a message.
Carla

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W8WHITTILER's Photo W8WHITTILER Posts: 8,527
5/17/09 3:17 P

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Your husband is just not used to other noticing you and of course he feels a wee bit jealous, but that is a good thing, just remind him that you love him and no matter how others say you look, you are doing it for him...the 2 of you had a bet and you are going to keep your end of the bargain and that you expect the same from him..
Remind him that no one will ever steal your eyes from him!
God's Blessings on you both!
I will put you in my prayers!
Patty

"Don't worry about the day that was, or that will be, worry only about the day that is!"
(c) Patty Pauley



"Don't cry about what you should have or could have done yesterday, it's over it can't be changed; Just take today and Make It Your Best Day Ever!"





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GCHUNG's Photo GCHUNG SparkPoints: (145,951)
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5/17/09 12:04 P

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Hang in there, I suspect this is more that what meets the eye. With the changes you're undergoing and he is, I bet its a bit overwhelming and he is reacting to all of the changes not just you.

I love quilting - check out my portfolio. freepages.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~gch
ung/Quilts/


Quilt and Lose - co Team Leader


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BLUEROSE73's Photo BLUEROSE73 SparkPoints: (112,562)
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5/17/09 11:44 A

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It is a change, and it is scaring him. He may be worried about all the extra attention you are attracting. Talk to him. Let him know you love him. Tell him you are doing this to feel better about yourself, not to find someone else.

Katrina
Saskatchewan Time Zone

You can not change yesterday - it's done.
You can only dream of tomorrow.
The only day you can change is today.
What are you going to do today to reach your goals of tomorrow?

It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it GREAT

Go little Turtle Go!


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NOHA_ALEX's Photo NOHA_ALEX SparkPoints: (83,333)
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5/17/09 10:51 A

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I like SHARONG51 response alot, my hubby is jealous cause I am spending more time at the gym or infront of the computer but is happy 4 looking a bit better everyday so let us all keep it up emoticon

EGYPT( EST+ 6 hrs)

"Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure"



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PEGACORN's Photo PEGACORN SparkPoints: (0)
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5/17/09 10:44 A

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Good just keep reinforcing your love and support. I am so glad he is doing so well. Though he "knows" you are there for the long haul, he may just need time. He will come around. Just keep up the good work. As long as you are staying in the recommended weight for your height and body type, he will be happy for you.

CMK


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SHARONG51's Photo SHARONG51 Posts: 25
5/17/09 10:39 A

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One more thing to add, The day we fell in love with each. Each we tell and show each our love. We have a very special Love for each other. After all these years we still hold hands when we go shopping. emoticon

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SHARONG51's Photo SHARONG51 Posts: 25
5/17/09 10:34 A

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My husband and I have been married for 29 years and together for 35 years. He knows I feel the pain and everything he is going through, and he knows I am not going anywhere. Besides John and I know he is healed of the cancer. Sure we will find out for sure in August. The Dr's. are so pleased how all of his treatments (33 treatments of radiation and 3 8 hour chemo's) went super good. He never got sick, and he has so much energy. He blood work is perfect. And he is gaining weight. He does get up set when our friends can not understand when he talks, but the dr. said it could take up to a year, for him to talk to were everyone could understand. I told him, I can understand him. But we are together 24/7. My husband is my life, and my soul. We are ONE person together.

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BABAJANE's Photo BABAJANE SparkPoints: (39,794)
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5/17/09 10:07 A

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I like Pegacorn's response. I believe she is right. Again, it is reassurance he needs.

I can do this!!


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PEGACORN's Photo PEGACORN SparkPoints: (0)
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5/17/09 9:55 A

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Give him some time. There is more to it then just jealousy. He is probably worried about keeping you in his bad health and you are getting better looking every day. He also might be worried that if he doesn't make it, you will move on with out a thought about him.

My father died of cancer and my parents had many discussions about whether my mother would ever leave him because he was sick and if she would look for someone else. It has been 3 years since he passed and she still thinks of him daily. Good health or not just reinforce your love for him and he will come around. Then he will make jokes about how he got such a sexy wife.

CMK


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KATYEAH's Photo KATYEAH Posts: 41
5/17/09 9:53 A

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I am wondering if your husband is just depressed due to his illness and it is feeding feelings of insecurity especially as he sees you getting more fit and toned. I would hope that both you and him would continue to pursue a healthful life together, and I believe that if you continue to be supportive of him, and loving the fact that you are both together, in time he will also appreciate what you are accomplishing.

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BABAJANE's Photo BABAJANE SparkPoints: (39,794)
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5/17/09 9:52 A

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Your husband probably just needs some reassurance that you love him. Maybe just remind him how much you love hime and tell him that this weightloss makes you feel good about yourself.

I can do this!!


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WENDYSPARKS's Photo WENDYSPARKS SparkPoints: (69,839)
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5/17/09 9:44 A

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You both should continue to eat healthy foods and strive to live a healthy lifestyle. Your husband is sick and needs some understanding and compassion. Help take care of him and yourself! God bless you both!

Edited by: WENDYSPARKS at: 5/17/2009 (09:45)
"One step at a time"


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SHARONG51's Photo SHARONG51 Posts: 25
5/17/09 9:36 A

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Hello all, My husband has throat cancer, his dr. wants him to gain weight. So April 16, 2009 we bought a scale. I weighted myself. I was 149 pounds. In shock I told my husband, I will loss weight if he gains weight. Yesterday was one month. I have lost 15 pounds. 3 inches in my waist, 3 inches from my hips, and 3 inches from my stomach. I cook only healthy foods, and work out a lot. My husband has gained 8 pound. Pretty good for the both of us. Well his friends noticed that I've lost weight, and they have told me so, in front of John. Well 2 nights ago, John said with his Electrolarynx (Voice Box), that I am crazy, and I need to stop losing weight. Being who I am, and I speak my mind. I told him. I have not look this good in years. and I do plan on losing another 14 - 15 pounds. Now he is so crabby and hasn't talk to me. I told this to my sister. Bless her heart. She told me If I feel healthier by working out and eating healthier. That I should not stop for know one. Do this for me. Thanks all for letting me get this off my chest. emoticon

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