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I've posted on the November Chat Thread about my holiday plans, but there's a weird update...
Thanksgiving will be at my mother-in-law's house and our plans are mostly all the usual. We do the turkey and dessert pies, and Petra does the traditional side dishes.
My daughter Aubrey and her new husband will be there; however, my son is spending the long weekend with his best friend & wife, who just bought a house a few hours away.
One happy change, for the first time since my husband separated from his first wife (26 years ago), he will be having Thanksgiving dinner with his daughter! His ex always demanded that Nicole spend every Thanksgiving and Christmas Day with her, rather than alternating as usual.
Once Nicole was married for awhile, they started coming over in the evening "for dessert," but never for the main dinner. However, THIS year, Nic will be helping her grandma with the cooking and serving!
P.S. This is definitely going to be a different-from-usual holiday... My husband said he wanted to invite his ex-wife to our Thanksgiving dinner! We don't know why his daughter Nicole isn't going to be with her mother for Thanksgiving, only that she wanted to come to our gathering.
My husband thought maybe that would leave her mom/his ex alone for the holiday, as she and a long-time boyfriend have just broken up. He asked his own mother about inviting his ex, since it will be at her house, and there had been a lot of bad blood between them in the past, but Petra said no problem. Then he asked me if it was okay, and I said yes too... So she is coming!
It's a weird situation, and one I'd never have thought would happen. It's not like we're friends or even social, but we can be in the same room and cordial and share many activities with the shared daughter and her family.
My husband's ex had asked if she could come to my daughter's wedding last August, just to see it and then she would leave. However, my daughter really dislikes her, and said NO way. I insisted it would be okay with me; and as I’M the one who’s been most mistreated by the ex (at least, for the last several years), I told her she was welcome.
When the time came for her to go after the ceremony, I invited her to stay for the dinner and reception. We had had last minute cancellations, so it wasn't like it was going to cost any money. I don't know, it just felt “right.”
My daughter didn’t like it, but let it go. The reception went very well, and I realized why it was so "easy" for me to have her there, despite the problems she has created over the years: we share grandbaby Kaile, and she was Aubrey's flower girl (photos on my Sparkpage)!
We didn’t sit up front by the head table – I left that to the groom’s family, and my ex-husband’s family. We all happily sat at the same table in the back: me and hubby, his mom and stepdad, his daughter and her family, and the ex. I guess after THAT, a holiday meal together isn't such a big deal!
None-the-less, wish me luck! Happy Thanksgiving and Blessings to all, Elizabeth
My son Scott's memorial:
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy.
I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
but how to dance in the rain."