From LJ World Blogs
by Irish Swearingen
Original address: www2.ljworld.com/weblogs/irish-chronicles/
Yesterday I had my first colonoscopy which is a procedure used to see inside the colon and rectum. It is used to detect inflamed tissue, ulcers, and abnormal growths. The procedure is used to look for early signs of colorectal cancer.
I found out that I have diverticulosis, something that happens to about half of us 60 or older. They are called pouches in the intestine, but it looks like a tear in the side wall. When you see it live, and it's your body, there is an immediacy that pictures just can't replicate.
Everything I read on the Internet assured me that I would be drugged and would feel nothing.
Everything I read was a lie.
First off, there was trouble because I have really small veins and the nurse putting the IV in looked at another nurse and said, "I popped the vein. It just exploded."
Whoa! Okay that made me a tad nervous, but I smiled womanfully and was graceful about it. Did not complain because I remembered that Steinfeld episode in which Elaine was blacklisted for complining. Little did I know I would come to consider that a good thing. Resolving to start pumping iron to get those stand out veins the medical community loves so much I laid back with a sigh.
And saw the ceiling. Which had rows of valves, the only one I could make out was oxygen. There was at least a dozen of them. Coma flashed though my mind, you know, the scene where they reversed gas lines?
"Roll over on your left side," I was instructed. I rolled over on my right. "Your other left", she said. That made me think of Matrix when Neo was going up the stairs and the guy back in the Nebuchnezzer tells him to turn right and he goes left. No, your other right, he is told.
Then came the pain. I was wide awake during the entire proceedure and I remember all. My eyes were wide as I watched the monitor and watched the tube snaking around my colon and large intestine. Curvy. zaftig.you might call it.
The pain, the intense cramps, however you want to phrase it, came in waves like labor and believe you me I remember every labor pain.
The baby was beautiful, but the pain, the pain, boss!
After the event I remembered them telling me that I would experience cramps and to let them know if I wanted more medicine.
I thought the scream and clutching the bed rail would have been a clue.
The pains only lasted for about five seconds each and I probably recovered a lot faster than if I had asked for more pain relief.
On reflection I am glad I didn't have more. I got to see what the doctor was seeing as he was seeing it and I recovered a lot faster than some of the other patients.
I don't have to do it again for ten years.
Next up, mamogram.
Just another camera toting redneck!
| Pounds lost: 74.0