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TAMIK1961's Photo TAMIK1961 Posts: 48
7/10/12 1:17 P

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So true Bookmoney! I was thinking this morning about how people are desperate to be thin, but not desperate to be healthy. How sad our society can be when we value size over health.
I try to be accepting but, yes there is that tipping point, when acceptance turns into a reduction of our quality of life. A personal choice, yes and one that I find easier to make the older I get. My acceptance level has gone down while the importance as to my quality of life has gone up. I believe we all make a difference in everyone else's life, and as long as I feel I am making a difference, I will hang in there, but when it just becomes a situation in which I am the "bad guy" I'm done.
I'm glad to hear you are regaining your health. All the horrible things we have done to our health and bodies in the name of society or cultural ideals makes me sad.
I feel so grateful to have found a forum and group that values health and integrity.
blessing to us all on our journey,

Be the change you want to see in the world


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BOOKMONKEY's Photo BOOKMONKEY Posts: 60
7/10/12 12:56 P

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I agree, we try to do our best and try to be a good example everyday! As far as your decision to either find friends that align more with your beliefs or become more accepting, that is a very personal decision. I tend to personally try to accept everyone for all their differences, but will stay away from people when they are so fervent in some beliefs that we can't have conversations.

About Nutrisystem...I did Nutrisystem for a year and it really, really hurt me. I have extreme willpower; but the soy and other chemicals in the food exacerbated my thyroid condition and it could take me up to a year to regain my pre-NS health. There are some good principals regarding eating a low gi diet that you can learn; but I would never eat their pre-packaged, shelf stable food again. EVER. As my health slowly returns, I reflect back and realize that sometimes people are desperate to lose weight and NS does work to lose weight...but there is a cost for eating processed/soy based foods.

But, try as we might, we cannot control other people.

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TAMIK1961's Photo TAMIK1961 Posts: 48
7/9/12 11:41 A

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I have regrets about how I allowed society to creep in on how I raise my kids. I get tired and stop fighting. I feel like I am constantly combating everything.
School field trips where Capri Suns and granola bars are the snack. How can I expect my kids to eat fruit or veggies and drink water when all her peers are noshing on junk? Even lunches where the kids have candy for lunch and she can't understand why she can't have that.
I find it all a dance and we do the best we can. When I am strong I can fight it and when I cave I can look here for support and forgiveness.
I do the best I can to ask for acceptance for what I have done in the past and strength to face today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
For all of us mothers, what a blessing we are to stand as examples to our children and friends.
But, .. my rant today.. I spent Saturday with friends that are cancer survivors and on Nutrisystems! I tried gently to expound on the health benefits of real food and again just touching on how dangerous sugar or grains can be. I heard all about how horrible it is to eat things with soy from them and some other horrible health tips, thinking, wow, I am having a hard time just being with people that still eat this way. I just wanted to leave. I was disappointed in myself that I felt out of place with them. I want to be around people that are aligned with my beliefs and then I feel like a snob and guilty that I am not more accepting.
I'm not sure if I should work on being more accepting or look for Paleo groups to join in my area so I can hang out with people like me.


Be the change you want to see in the world


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CMSLOCUM1's Photo CMSLOCUM1 SparkPoints: (949)
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7/9/12 9:31 A

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Bookmonkey-I too have so many regrets about the way I fed my kids growing up. My youngest (16) does eat a lot more veggies than the others but I still hope my grown kids see how much healthier I am and make some changes.

Sweat is just your fat crying!


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BOOKMONKEY's Photo BOOKMONKEY Posts: 60
7/8/12 3:51 P

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I really wish I would have known about paleo/primal when my kids were little so I could raise them this way. But....they have made positive changes by watching me. For instance, they won't have sodas or any fake sweeteners. They choose whole/natural foods over processed. But, they will have pizza or meat... but I have noticed changes in them as well.

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CINDYTW Posts: 5,783
6/26/12 11:59 P

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TAMI most people are clueless. As a society we have done a disservice as far as education goes as to what is ACTUALLY natural and nutritious. The food industry controls too much these days. Sad but true.

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TAMIK1961's Photo TAMIK1961 Posts: 48
6/26/12 2:30 P

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Me..rant too...."helpful people who know I eat healthy"...make me crazy sometimes. You know they are really trying to help, but, yeah, the fat free cream cheese, for me it's fruit snacks (fat free don't you know!), and food bars(for people that exercise!), "I brought these because I know you're such a health freak, wanted to have healthy food," or the breads, "it's not wheat so you can eat it right?,". On one level I want to be nice because they are trying, but another part of me wants to scream. My friends are intelligent educated people that just can't get their head wrapped around the idea of natural, healthy food. It seems that if it is natural they don't want any part of it. One of my friends freaked out one day because I brought tomatoes from my garden-"OMG, they might have bugs!!". It's amazing how as a culture we have gotten into the idea that if you buy something at the grocery store it is somehow healthy.

OK, I feel better now, ranting is good for the soul.
blessings to all,

Be the change you want to see in the world


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SHAGGYBABA's Photo SHAGGYBABA Posts: 45
6/26/12 2:17 P

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Yep, that's my naturally thin husband, teenager and 8-yr old. We're in the process of moving and renovating the house we're moving into AND the one we're moving out of. During the week, they all live in one house and I live in the other. When I stay with them on the weekend, the cabinets are full of cereal, popcorn and chips, and there's ice cream in the fridge. When I leave I take all the veggies with me because they just let them rot! :(

If I may add to the rant... "helpful" people who know I eat healthy and want to share their food with me. "Try this, I made it with fat free cream cheese!" I'm thinking, "That's so bad on so many levels!"

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CMSLOCUM1's Photo CMSLOCUM1 SparkPoints: (949)
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6/26/12 8:45 A

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I had several disagreements with folks about food (a biggie when my Mom wanted to stop by with fast food Krystal hamburgers for my kids-when I explained they are junk she said "well I'll get the (fried) chicken sandwiches then)-BAHAHA! My brother is the one who inspired me and when I told him about the above disagreement he said "the only way to do this is to be responsible for only yourself" (I add and your kids to the degree you can-mine are older teens). I got hooked on Paleo from his example and now my daughter (16) wants to eat Paleo because she said "Mom, you are never tired anymore."

You can't fuss someone into eating healthy. Just do it yourself and when they see how much healthier you are if they are interested you can have that talk. I do understand because my husband eats junk yet is 5'10" 170 lbs and can go run a 5K several times a year without working out or practicing. Sickening.

Just walk your own walk and share it if the opportunity presents itself.


Sweat is just your fat crying!


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DORI36's Photo DORI36 Posts: 112
6/25/12 11:22 A

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You all know, don't you, that you simply cannot change anyone but yourself. And that includes your outlook and attitude toward what others say or do. My advice to you is very simple: "Let it go." Once you do that, it's much easier to watch others and not judge them or try to change them. Just let it go.

Sorry to sound "preachy"....it took me decades to learn this simple truth. Not that it's always easy, but it works. Accept what you cannot change and let it go. emoticon

p.s. Just found this.....hope it helps you: balancedbites.com/2012/06/paleo-perf
ec
tionism.html


Edited by: DORI36 at: 6/25/2012 (11:29)
Success is going from failure to failure without losing
enthusiasm.

Winston Churchill


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TAMIK1961's Photo TAMIK1961 Posts: 48
6/25/12 11:13 A

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This is a great thread. I feel the same way and get so frustrated and feel so alone sometimes. It is nice to have a group that feels supportive. This is the only place I have to go for support. I am a single mom of two kids that whine constantly that I have no "yummy" food anywhere. I cave and let them have crappy breakfasts-cold cereal, toaster pancakes, etc. but the rest of the time it's the good stuff as much as I can. I fight the battle of their dad and his insistence on living the SAD diet. And he is diabetic, overweight, high cholesterol, high blood pressure! I couldn't take it anymore with him and we ended up divorced. I gotta give big kudo's to all the people that have posted that they live with spouses that have issues. You go girls! You are way stronger than me!

I do what I can and try to live by the mantra that everything healthy we do helps us and when we fall, it's OK. Don't dwell, just get back on the road. And, believe it or not, how we live is an example to others. You will find that out when least expected. My advice on that is to be the change you want to be and allows others to see it, but don't preach it!.

Perhaps we need to keep this thread going so we all have a great, healthy supportive place to rant and get it out of our systems.

Be the change you want to see in the world


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DOTSLADY's Photo DOTSLADY Posts: 10,024
6/25/12 10:34 A

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Shoot. I live with a 23 yr old obese beautiful Dd who is proud of me (leading by example here) but it's a lonely paleo world. DH "tries" but he lies to himself and I feel to me. He's a slave to the usual and he's too stressed to change (and it'd help his stress if he would) - drives me nuts!

I think we should live in a Paleo Kibbutz and live happily ever after. LOL.
Rock on - you have some sista-friends here! (It's all I've got for my sanity, too)!


emoticon

KNOWLEDGE = POWER. BODY = TEMPLE. FOOD = MEDICINE. PREVENTION IS THE CURE. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ABSORB!
One person's food is another person's poison.
__________
Celiac Disease: An autoimmune reaction from eating gluten grains: wheat, rye, barley and contaminated oats=nutrient deficiency=cancer. Have 1 of 300 symptoms? bit.ly/cdsymptoms
CD stories: bit.ly/cdstories
Nutrition/Cancer: bit.ly/Quillinnutrition


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HEALTHYLIFE92's Photo HEALTHYLIFE92 Posts: 148
6/24/12 10:20 P

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Thank you so much for the support everyone!

GrokGranny- I can only imagine how frustrating it is when somebody you love has such destructive behaviors! Has he always been like this or is this a recent thing? I hope things get better for him!

TampaTink67- Thanks for the feedback. That is pretty awesome that you inspired somebody else to eat healthy. I think that perhaps the best way of persuading others is to show them with your results. Maybe my family(or at least my mom) will come around once I achieve my goals. Also, what part of Charlotte are you from? I live in the Matthews area!

CindyTW- I am the same way where I give into temptation a lot! Especially when I see my family eating junk. Funny thing is that I know the junk is bad for me but for some reason I still get tempted sometimes...

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CINDYTW Posts: 5,783
6/24/12 9:44 P

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My husband eats whatever, whenever and drinks Mountain Dew Code Red all day, and smokes! Yes it is very frustrating but you have to seperate yourself from that. Sometimes I give in to the temptation and then feel like crap and am over it for a while. You can do it!

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TAMPATINK67's Photo TAMPATINK67 Posts: 3,800
6/24/12 8:21 P

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I live alone - what a blessing! But I still had issues with the Ex, he never supported my dieting efforts - and I wasn't strong enough to do it alone so I didn't get on track with Paleo until we broke up.

After I lst 50bs, he became interested in what I was doing. I'm now down 94lbs and he's down 50. Wish we could have done it together - but I guess our relationship wasn't "healthy enough" to continue.

As for friends and family, I've told everyone about my program and asked or their support. No one has gone Paleo with me, but everyone is making an effort to ensure that if I'm visiting, there is food available that I'm okay with too, and they also get my input in selecting restaurants!

I can't influence what they do (and yes, I still want yummy junk food too), but this is he lifestyle i have chosen and I chose not to eat those things. Cravings are gone, and I just feel better eating real food.

Set the example. You never know who you may have a positive influence on, but they have to want it....

Tink - Charlotte NC


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GROKGRANNY's Photo GROKGRANNY Posts: 1,870
6/24/12 8:05 P

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Holy crap, girl! I could have written that!! Only in my case it is my chronically whiny husband who is diabetic and is forever complaining, complaining, complaining that there is "nothing good to eat" in the house. He talks constantly about cookies and bread and ice cream. I'm like, "MY GOD MAN! You are on insulin injections!!! What don't you GET???" Then he calls me a nag when his sugar is high. He is moody 24/7.

He also looked our my doctor right in the face and announced that "Paleo isn't sustainable" to which she said, "Oh yes it IS!" That shut him up.

In his case, he has never made his peace with the fact that he is older now and can't eat like you describe anymore. His mother had diabetes. I don't know how old your family members are that are eating the junk, but if they are younger (like your kids?) don't bring it into the house. Make them go out and get it. Your mom, however, should be careful. She's making a big mistake and if she gains, she's going to pay the piper in the end with a hefty weight gain.

Stay the course. This is FOR YOU. :ead by example. Yep...it's really rude for them to be noshing on junk right in front of you. But, what they are doing is not healthy...and you know that.

Don't give up! You have a lot of support here!

Let food be your first and best medicine.


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HEALTHYLIFE92's Photo HEALTHYLIFE92 Posts: 148
6/24/12 7:43 P

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If anyone visits the Marks Daily Apple website forum... I'm sorry if you have to hear my rant again! I'm just so frustrated, and I know you guys are really helpful so I wanted to see what you all had to say.

I posted a couple weeks ago about whether or not being Primal is sustainable in the long run. I received a ton of awesome advice which truly helped me. I've been eating mostly strict Paleo for the past week and my cravings have gotten a lot better. I'm still have the problem with my family though. They don't eat Primal. My mom and I used to be sort of a team and eat healthy(she was never Paleo, but she still tried to incorporate more veggies and less processed food). Lately, however though she has not been eating healthy at all. I know I shouldn't be worrying about it, because its not my problem. But after a while I just start to get really frustrated when I see everyone eating junk emoticon Part of my frustration is because I am a bit jealous to see them eating "yummy" food. But most of my frustration comes from the fact that they don't care about health. I guess I'm just frustrated because I feel like I am putting so much effort into my healthy eating, and it's frustrating to watch them be able to eat cake and cookies and ice cream so easily. It's as if they don't even give a second thought to it.

I know its none of my business how they eat. But, it would be nice if there was somebody else in my family who truly was interested in eating healthy. I'm not expecting anyone to eat Primal with me. I know I won't be convincing my family. BUT I guess I just wish that at least they would be more interested in eating less processed food..... Sorry about this rant. I just needed to get it out.. Does anyone else feel like this? Is anyone else living with others who eat a lot of junk? How do you not get frustrated?? Thank you for any support emoticon

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